I've had my heart broken a million times. Most of them by you. Like when you ditched me for Stanford. When you lied to me. When you kept secrets for me. When you lied to me again. And again. But I always forgave you..cause you are my heart. You are my little brother. You are the most important person in my life.
I survived losing both of our parents, cause I had you to take care of, and you to be strong for. I survived losing so many friends like Ellen and…Jo…, cause I had to keep fighting, I had to save you from Lucifer. I survived losing Cas. Probably the best friend I've ever had, except you of course. It still hurts, I still feel betrayed, and I still miss him. But I survived holding on to the thought, that it was his own fault, and the thought about what he did to you. I almost survived losing Bobby, the man who were like a father to us, the man who died for us and for a world, who'll never know…I'm still trying to survive it…But I know I can. I can get revenge over that dick Dick. I can make his death mean something. But you Sammy. I can't survive losing you. I can barely survive the thought of losing you.
I know that I've lost you before and survived. But that's a lie, I didn't survive, every time you died, you took a little piece of me with you, pieces I never got back. Like that time you got stabbed in Cold Oak…or that time when you jumped in to hell….But this Sammy, this is so much worse. There's nothing I can do, nothing I can say…I'm just forced to watch you; my heart break into a thousand pieces right in front of me.
You're not really breaking, cause it's nothing like when you were detoxing from demon blood. No. You just sit there in the corner of your stupid room in this stupid place. You just sit there. All Sammy. All cute with bangs in your eyes. I haven't seen you like this in what feels like hundreds of years, cause you've been walking around with this serious hard look on your face. But not anymore. Now you really do look like a lost puppy. You just sit there. Staring at something that no one else than you can see. Something that gives you that scared look. I can see in your brown eyes that you believe it's real. A look I would do anything to take away.
Sometimes I can also hear you whispering things. Sometimes it's even my name. I know it's not because I'm there…cause you don't know I am…you just stare without seeing. I like to think that you're whispering my name, cause you know that I'm there…like some kind of greeting. But it's not, and I know it, I just wish it were, I Just wish I could talk to you…cause you're the only one I have left.
I am all alone. I've lost them all. We've lost them all. Mom, dad, Jess, Madison, Ash, Pamela, Ellen, Jo, Rufus, Lisa and Ben (they didn't die, but I still lost them), Cas, Bobby and now…you… I can't make it without you Bro. You're my everything. You're my Sammy.