In Dark Days Valkyrie mentions Tanith forcing her to watch Star Wars one weekend. This is that story. Takes place somewhere in the beginning of the series. Valkyrie is about 13ish. Whoever they're looking for is a random sidejob that has nothing to do with the plot of the books whatsoever. I mean, all detectives have them right? Sitting at their desks smoking when some random lady with a lowcut dress comes in? I assume even Skulduggery has those. Anywhos, you should review.
"You don't know the power...of the Dark Side," Tanith intoned in a low, menacing voice. Everybody stared at her.
"What does Darth Vader have to do with all of this?" Skulduggery asked, breaking the silence.
"Well, he's looking for his son to turn him evil, this guy we're looking for is looking for his daughter to turn her evil, they're kinda the same, you know?"
Skulduggery thought about that for a few minutes, then conceded her point with a nod. Valkyrie remained silent.
"Of course," Skulduggery pointed out, "this person didn't turn evil and try to kill his master on a lava covered planet."
"True, true," responded Tanith. "Obi-wan was hot, and very obviously doesn't exist in this scenario. Also, this criminal was never a podracer."
"I was," Skulduggery said with a straight face (or he would have if he'd had a face). "I won every race I ever raced in. And I didn't turn evil."
"Well if I were Padme, I would have gone for Obi-wan, not Anakin. I like gingers better than brunetes anyways."
Skulduggery shrugged. "I never really saw Obi-wan in that way. Although the blue lady is pretty amazing."
Tanith shook her head sadly. "You guys don't know what you're missing. Who do you like best in Star Wars, Val?"
Valkyrie, who had been sitting in the corner awkwardly, shrugged. "Um..."
"You have no idea what we're talking about, do you." Skulduggery deadpanned. Valkyrie shrugged, blushing.
"What do they teach kids in school these days?" Skulduggery asked. "Somebody is going to have to show this girl the god of movies."
They had captured the most recent criminal easily, and for once the worst thing that happened was that Skulduggery's hat got burnt to a little blackened piece of fabric in a last desperate act of arson. Moaning about his favorite hat, Skulduggery walked into his house, only to find Tanith and Valkyrie sitting on the couch staring up at him.
"What took you so long?" Tanith complained. "We ate all the popcorn and had to put more in the microwave, and then we ate that too, and now there's no popcorn for the movie!"
Skulduggery glowered at them (not that anybody could tell, unless you knew him very well and say that his head was at an angle just so). "Not only do you sacrifice my hat, but you eat all my popcorn too?"
"You can't eat anyways," Tanith said, waving a hand dismissively. "Come on, we're about to watch the movie!"
Still muttering dark things he would do to the two females lounging on his couch, Skulduggery sat down on his chair. Tanith pressed play.
After battling the DVD player (which was deadset on playing the commercials) and watching several commercials for random movies from years ago, depsite pressing the menu button over and over, the main menu finally appeared.
Tanith pressed play, and the movie started.
"I still don't see why we have to have a whole marathon," Valkyrie complained as the well known yellow letters appeared on the screen.
"Shh!" Tanith hissed.
Valkyrie watched as the cloaked people walked onto the Trade Federation ship. When they took off their hoods Tanith sighed. "He is sooo hot!"
"The old guy?" Valkyrie asked mockingly.
"Shut up," Skulduggery said. "If you two are dead set on having a movie marathon in my home then you might as well be quiet so that I can watch too."
Valkyrie, feeling slightly embarrassed at having to watch a guy movie, shut up and crossed her arms sulkyly.
Although, Obi-wan was kind of hot. And the whole Trade Federation plot was interesting.
"So what'd you think?" Tanith asked at the end of the first movie.
"Qui-gon is a jerk," Valkyrie announced. "He ditched Obi-wan for the little kid, who wasn't that cool in the first place."
"But Obi-wan was done with his training," Skulduggery pointed out.
"And then he dumped Anakin on him when he died," Valkyrie pointed out. "I would be pretty stressed out if that happened to me."
"I knew you'd love it," Tanith exclaimed. "Now I just have to warn you, this second movie sucks. Half of it is just Anakin and Padma angsting and kissing."
"Oh please fast forward those parts," Skulduggery moaned. "I hate to agree with you, but Padme having different clothes in every different scene angle is extremely distracting."
"And when exactly did half her shirt get ripped off in the fight scene?" Tanith griped.
"Just put the movie in," Valkyrie ordered.
Tanith put the movie in.
And they watched.
"Obi-wan's beard makes him look older," Valkyrie announced.
"Look at a picture of his actor; he looks really young without it," Tanith informed her.
"When you two are done talking about how hot everybody is, would you please shut up?" Skulduggery asked.
"How old is he?" asked Valkyrie.
"Like, forty," Tanith answered.
"If both of you don't stop talking I will make you stop talking," Skulduggery warned. Tanith and Valkyrie stopped talking.
"Tell me when her shirt rips," Tanith said. She was soon fast asleep. Skulduggery wandered off, then wandered back. Valkyrie didn't notice. She was riveted. The romance between Anakin and Padme was amazing and sweet and funny. If only she had a boyfriend like that, willing to- wait, she didn't want a boyfriend yet!
Everytime the scene changed to Obi-wan Valkyrie found herself wanting more Anakin/Padme, but she knew she could never tell anyone that.
It was over.
Tanith woke up. "Well that sucked. The third one is much better." She put in the third movie, then looked over at Skulduggery. Hitting the pause button, she shared a grin with Valkyrie, then quickly ran off. A few minutes later she came in with her hands cupped around something. She walked over to Skulduggery and dropped it on his head.
For a few moments there was silence, then the skeleton woke up and realized that there was a big, hairy spider crawling on him.
"Bloody hell!" he yelped, jumping up and brushing it off. Then he took his shoe and threw it at the spider, but missed, so he grabbed a couch cushion, threw it on top of the arachnid, and jumped on the cushion, glaring at Tanith the whole time. He picked up the cushion, now covered in spider guts, and threw it at her. She shrieked and jumped out of the way, dropping the remote. Using a stream of air, Skulduggery pulled the remote towards himself, picked it up, and pressed play.
Valkyrie managed to stop laughing by the time the words finished flying off the screen, and was able to watch the movie.
The elevator scene was hilarius to her for some reason.
When Padme revealed to Anakin that she was pregnant, Valkyrie couldn't pull her eyes away. The movie passed in a blur that left her desperate for more.
The sudden change in special affects for the forth, fifth, and sixth movies was surprising, but Valkyrie found that she liked puppet-Yoda much better than Computer-Generated-Yoda. She decided her favorite was Luke. He was so hot, with his blond hair and his jedi skills.
"That little thing in Jabba's palace looks like my friend's dog," she pointed out, laughing, but then she realized that both Tanith and Skulduggery were fast asleep.
Darth Vader was Luke's father? Even though she knew what would happen, Valkyrie still found herself being surprised. Ew, and he had been flirting with his sister for the whole fourth and part of the fifth movie!
She had to change the DVD herself for the sixth movie, as the two others who were supposed to be watching this with her were still asleep. Tanith was snoring quietly.
Valkyrie actually gasped when Luke pulled off Darth Vader's helmet, seeing the awful scars on Anakin's face, then glanced around to make sure nobody heard her. At the end of the movie she looked at the clock.
It was six in the morning. She had been watching all night.
Not that she had actually enjoyed it or anything. She wondered if they had anything to do that day.
Not tired, but extremely hungry, Valkyrie got up to make herself some eggs, but was dismayed to find that there were no eggs in the house. There was half a box of stale Cheerios, and a box of Chocolate Rice Crispies that she had stashed for emergencies like this, but she didn't want cereal.
Walking back to the living room, Valkyrie realized she was now experiancing the worst thing possible that could happen during a sleepover- she had woken up long before anyone else had, and now had nothing to do but read or play with Skulduggery's Rubix Cube.
On the bookshelf, she found a book that Tanith had gotten Skulduggery as a joke one year: Twilight.
Well between checking my Facebook, angsting about having to do homework, and writing this, I just killed two hours. Review!