Warnings: Cursing and chemistry! AU, established relationship/s, and KakuHida. No real effort put in plus no beta equals a good possibility for mistakes.

Disclaimer: No.

O' My Bloody Jashin, Let's Learn Our Periodic Table! Ready? Set? Go!

Mendeleev Best Be Scared

"I refuse to waste my valuable time for free." Kakuzu chose a table near a corner. The only other person in the small establishment was an employee cleaning a counter. The worker was already used to their presence so he didn't pay much heed to Hidan's cursing.

"I'll pay you with my love! Isn't that shit like... priceless or something?" Hidan said with a shit-eating grin.

"Priceless in a currency I can't spend." he snorted.

"But you have to help me, seriously!"

"Pray tell, why must I help you?"

"Becaaauuse you know like... every little shit about all the elements and you wouldn't want me to fail, would ya'?" Hidan grinned up at his boyfriend. They were seated at a Smoothie King with their drinks sitting in front of them- Hidan's usual Peanut Power Plus Chocolate smoothie and Kakuzu's Mo'cussino Caramel.

"Dating a hooligan would certainly bring me down..."

"Hey, hey! I resent that, seriously!"

"If we're going to learn about elements," Kakuzu continued ignoring Hidan, "I need to know what you know about the periodic table."

He leaned onto the table with one arms, "Well, there are like families and groups and alkalies and earth alkalies, blah, blah, and fuck-ety blah. C'mon, I know that shit, I just need to memorize the whole Oxygen is whatever number 'n stuff."

"Did you bring a periodic table?" Hidan nodded and took it out of his backpack.

"We gonna start at one?" he asked after laying it infront of Kakuzu.

The scarred man paused before looking up, "Do you even know which one has an atomic number of one? And don't look at the paper."

"Uh... carbon?" Hidan guessed lamely. If Kakuzu was any less of his character, he would have face palmed. He stuck to breathing in through his mouth and out through his nose.

"You're hopeless."

"So I've heard. Funny thing is it keeps comin' from the same fuckin' guy." he teased and poked at a stitch on Kakuzu's cheek.

He swiped the pale hand away from his face. "It may be beneficial to listen to him."

'Nah', he's kinda an asswipe." Hidan gave a lazy grin which Kakuzu just barely returned.

"Of course he is. And he'd really rather be at home finishing his homework and sleeping rather than telling you you're hopeless."

"Oi, c'mon. I'm just kidding, Kakuzu!" the albino laughed in a fake fashion.

He smirked, "Really. Why am I even here? Can't you learn this by yourself?"

"But we've gotta stick together! Y'know, people like us." He pointed his purple fingernails(an inside joke within their little click) at the both of them.

"And do tell what minority we both happen to be in?"

Hidan looked thoughtful before shrugging, "Well, we're gay!"

"Then study with Deidara." the tanned teen replied bluntly.

"He's not allowed back in here, remember?" Neither had to turn around to see Deidara's face posted on a bulletin board. Now that they thought of it, he wasn't allowed anywhere, really. Half the mall had him banned as well as the roller rink and all the local recreational centers. Oh, and don't forget Chuck E' Cheese's. In their high school, the blond was literally one clay bird away from an expulsion(or explosion).

"Go to his house."

"But I'm studying with you! We're both... differently colored from everyone else?" Hidan smoothed his slicked hair back sheepishly when Kakuzu raised an eyebrow.

"I'm tanned like every other Latin American and South Eastern Asian. You're pale like every other sun-deprived pan-ethnic person."

Hidan scratched his head, "What the fuck is that?"

"Just shut up, Hidan." Kakuzu took a long sip from his drink to calm himself. Maybe he did get a little riled up too easily.

"What! I'm trying to convince you that we're both fucking awesome together!"

"Like caesium and water."

"Exactly! So just sit your ass back down and we'll start with the first element!" Funny thing is, Kakuzu had remained sitting since they first sat down. He chose not to point it out.

"Fine." he said already exhausted by his boyfriend.

Hidan whooped loudly and raised a fist up for Kakuzu to bump(which Kakuzu ignored), "Time to kick ass! Ready Mendeleev? 'Cuz we're gonna fuck you up!"


A/N: Yes, I should be sleeping. Yes, I should be working on other fics. No, I don't give a fuck. I've been meaning to do a drabble fic and since KakuHida is my OTP... Iz allll guud. Um, in case some of you are wondering, I chose Kakuzu because he's supposed to know like a bunch o' element... in Naruto-verse... which is like five or six(don't make me google this) versus 118. Yes, I'm hoping for this fic to have at least 119 drabble/chapters when I'm done with it. Plus, I've been waiting for an awesome KakuHida AU since foreevveeerrr. This'll help pass the time... as well as League of Legends... lol..