Thanks for the comments on the last chapter. I'd reply to them, but then it would take me years to update, so I figure people would rather have updates than replies. Hope that's okay. This is basically a crack/semi-plausible story, so instead of focusing on stellar writing, I went all-out snark with this one. More "cartoony," if you will. Enjoy~
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate my life? No? Well, I do. Sometimes.
After listening to Dash argue with Kwan for nearly an hour over whether they should film an action or romantic short film starring me and Kwan's sister's half-beheaded Barbie, I was just about ready to jump off the desk. At this size, such a fall might kill me. Or what's left of me. On the bright side, I'd get my ghost powers back, but the idea of becoming full ghost just to get out of a crummy situation wasn't exactly appealing.
This may sound contradictory to my former sentiments, but I was still trying to remain optimistic about all this. Sure, getting my face smashed against the doll's in a "romantic" make out scene—Dash's idea, for the record—wasn't all that fantastic and hearing Dash taunt Kwan about "that one time" he pretended to seduce a mannequin made me want to hurl, but I was still determined to resolve this without having to admit who I really was. I was almost certain that that would work, but giving up my secret identity to get out of becoming the first micro-sized Youtube sensation? I honestly didn't know which option was worse, but protecting my identity was a little more important, especially around two guys that couldn't keep their mouths shut about anything.
"I know!" Dash suddenly shouted. If I thought his voice rattled my nerves when I was normal-sized, it was nothing to how annoying and loud he was when he was one hundred times bigger than me.
"Let's blow up the restaurant, then he'll get really mad and zombies will invade and eat his girlfriend!"
I would have rolled my eyes if the whole "blow up the restaurant" thing didn't strike so close to home. Instead, I shivered at the memory. I really found it hard to believe what mushy dumbasses these two could be when they weren't busy pummeling nerds or dominating the school's popularity pool. Clearly, playing catch had gotten old, but was it really necessary to humiliate me in front of the entire world? I got enough of that in ghost mode, but now Fenton was to be a laughingstock as well. Story of my life, I guess.
"That's stupid," Kwan told him. I automatically nodded my head in agreement. "Why zombies? Let's, like have him fight ghosts! You know like, Danny Phantom or something!"
This is when I stopped nodding and started shaking my head as furiously as I could without snapping my neck.
"Danny Phantom," Dash breathed, his idiocy leaving him for a moment as what I suppose could be called a thoughtful expression crossed over his face. "You know, I haven't seen him in a while. That dumb crate ghost attacked yesterday in Lancer's class and he didn't even show up."
"Maybe he died!"
Dash rolled his eyes and in a shocking display of common sense, punched Kwan and said, "He's a ghost! He's already dead. Last time I saw him was at Fenton's house."
They both turned and looked down at me. I cowered behind the Barbie, very much disliking where this conversation was going.
"Why was the ghost boy at your house, Fenton?"
I shrugged, hating how my cheeks burned and that unstoppable urge to rub the back of my neck came over me. Seeing that they were serious, I gave in a chuckled as casually as I could manage.
"My parents have a ghost portal…maybe that's how he gets in and out of the Ghost Zone?"
Thankfully, they seemed to buy this. It wasn't a bad excuse—quite excellently improvised on my part, actually. But they still had questions.
"Know where Phantom is, Fenton?"
Yeah, right here you idiot, I thought, unable to believe that he could say the two names so closely together and not catch on.
"Not a clue," I lied. "I've been stuck in that rotten hamster cage for the past few days, getting weaker and punier by the second. Things aren't looking up for your PE grades, Fitness Buddy."
"It's worth it for this," he smirked, jabbing me in the stomach with the tip of the recording camera. "Kwan, get the nail polish."
We were currently at Dash's house. Dash doesn't have a sister and his mom lives across the country. I don't even want to imagine why he has nail polish just laying around his room.
It must have been a while since I've touched a girl—hugging Sam doesn't count—because I blushed after Dash ripped off Barbie's black dress and forced it over my head. No amount of protesting worked, and a minute later, I was wearing a black dress and the goddamn camera was recording.
"Hurry up Kwan!"
"The red or the white?"
I hit my palm so harshly against my forehead at that that I almost knocked myself out. There was no end to the day's surprises, was there?
"White, obviously. But bring the red…we can use that his blood."
"But ectoplasm isn't red," I pointed out.
"Hold still, Fenton!"
Hold still? Nope, I was fighting with every ounce of energy my puny body had left as he plastered my hair with white nail polish. They were idiots, yes, but this was getting to close to the truth for comfort…
I'm ashamed to admit I whimpered a little when they dropped my back down on the desk, but it's true. My hair no longer looked like my human half, and even in my frantic kicking fit, Kwan had managed to paint my feet white. Minus my DP emblem, I looked almost like my other self.
Judging from their stares, I wasn't the only one who noticed. They were silent, gawking at me like I was from Mars…or the Ghost Zone.
Dash's trembling finger rose, pointing it at me. "He…he looks like…is he…"
"Fenton looks like…" Kwan was also incapable of speech, apparently. For the first time, I noticed how much they blinked at me when they were confused. In spite of the utter horror boiling up in the pit of my stomach, I briefly wondered if this was how Lancer felt during lectures.
"It's not what you think," I said, my automatic reply for anyone that discovers my secret.
Seeing my reflection in the concave portion of a nearby spoon however, I knew the similarities were unmistakable, even for a pair of 2.0 average jocks.
I scratched the back of my neck again and darted a glance at the naked Barbie. It was less awkward staring at her than waiting for them to formulate coherent sentences.
After listening to their stuttering and babbling longer than my patience would allow, I held up my arm. They simultaneously leaped backwards, cowering in fear at the sight of a toothpick-sized person pointing at them. Then it struck me: they know I'm capable of shooting ghost rays. There was no use in denying it and discussing it appeared to be out of the question as well.
"Can I go home now?" I asked, figuring I'd deal with the consequences when I was back to normal size and had my powers back.
I couldn't have gotten back to Fenton Works faster even if I'd flown. Dash and Kwan sprinted to my house; probably under the impression that their lives depended on it. Dash rang the doorbell at least forty times before Jazz showed up a few seconds later. I'd never been so relieved to see my sister in my whole life.
"Dash? What are you doing—?"
They screamed and threw me at her, not giving her the slightest chance to even ask what was going on before spinning on their heels and running as far away as they could get from my house, screaming all the way. Out of all the reactions to my secret, this was the least expected, especially from them.
"Hi Jazz," I said wearily.
"Long story. Can you go get Dad's crammer thing? I have a couple of morons to deal with."
Take a guess at what happened next. I don't have a sequel planned, but I have like, 2-3 other revelation fics (with better writing and more plausibility) if you're interested ("Nice Job Danny" is one of my personal faves). Hope you enjoyed this strange little fic-let, and feel free to leave any parting comments/advice for the future. Thanks :)