I do not own Need. I wish I did because it is awesome.

Chapter 1 - Awake

Expergefaciphobia.

I sit inside my living room staring at the man I love. He is still asleep on the couch, though he is tossing and turning every once in a while, his eyes rolling around behind his lids. I have been sitting watching him for almost an hour now. When we first thought he was waking up, I came running inside, my heart hammering away in my chest for two reasons: 1) because I was excited and 2) because I was terrified.

I'm excited because I fought for this man with everything I had. I literally brought him back from death. He was killed by a pixie king named Frank (I know, weird name for a pixie king right?) and a Valkyrie took his body to Valhalla so that he could fight in this end-of-the-world war that's going to happen. Hopefully it's not going to happen soon. A pixie king named Astley turned me into a pixie queen and helped me rescue him. It hasn't been easy having my life turned upside down, but I've been making the best of it. I'm really strong now, so I can fight too, and protect the people I care about. I had my first real big fight in Valhalla. I had to fight the pixie king that killed Nick in order to get Nick back. Didn't think I could do it, but I guess I had more in me than I thought, just like Astley said. And now Nick's going to wake up and I can't wait because I haven't seen him in forever and I want to see him smile and laugh and I want him to hold my hand and for us to be as happy as we were before.

I am afraid because I worry he might not want to do those things with me. Nick hates pixies, and now that I am one what if he hates me too? What if I disgust him and he wants nothing more to do with me, doesn't even want to see me again? How am I supposed to stand that? My heart is banging away in my chest like big old conga drums. I feel sick.

I don't want to think about that. Everything will be fine, I tell myself.

I look out the window. Astley had been standing there just before I came inside. I can't see him now, but I know he's still there. I think even without my super-special pixie powers and the whole weirdness of being his queen I would still know he was there. He is there to wait and see what happens; to make sure I don't get hurt. He always is. I know that if things go badly and Nick tells me he doesn't love me anymore, he will be there to fly me someplace far away and give me space to cry ugly snotty tears.

I worry for him, though. He shouldn't be here to watch this. Because if things don't go badly, I think my pixie protector will end up getting himself hurt. And I don't know how to deal with that.

Nick makes a noise that sounds like something between a grunt and a bark. I turn back to him.

He is sweating and his body is rigid, like he is having a bad bad dream or is in pain. I think maybe his memory is still being erased. In Valhalla they said he wouldn't be allowed to remember his time there so they had to make him forget. Are his memories still being taken? What would that feel like?

I kneel down next to the couch and get up close to him. I want so much to wipe that sweat off of his face, but here comes the fear again. I don't want him to wake up all shocked that a pixie is touching him and go into attack mode. That would make it really hard to talk to him; and kissing would definitely be out of the question.

His body starts to relax and I hope that it's over; that he'll wake up soon. he takes a big breath in, holds it for a second, and then let's it all out in a whoosh, blowing dog breath across my face. It makes me giggle.

A small smile crosses his lips and his eyes start to flicker. Everyone in the room is looking at him, holding their breath. I kind of forgot they were there.

His eyelids open and he blinks a few times. He looks confused for a second but turns his still-smiling face toward me.

"Zara", he says softly. I think it is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.

He stares at me like that for a second and I stare back, lost in a trance. I see my whole world in those eyes.

And then his eyes widen. And his body starts to shift.