Ameripan: Just to See You

I lay on my back in my very own gravel driveway, staring up at the sky. I'm sure if anyone saw me right then, they would've thought I'd been ran over by a car. I might as well have been. I already felt in enough pain to triple that, being hit, I mean.

The rocks I was lying on were stabbing me in the back, cutting skin, and the blood would surely stain my shirt, but that didn't matter. Nothing really mattered then. That wasn't the real pain though.

The real pain was the feeling of my heart being put through a meat-grinder. The real pain was knowing that I would never get to see Him again. Being forbidden to see your true love, in my opinion, is probably worse than dying.

Now that I think about it, this kinda reminds me of one of those books that Iggy always kept on his shelves when I lived with him as a kid; he probably still does. What was it called? "Romeo and Juliet" I think.

Whatever, I'm getting off-topic here.

Anyway, if it wasn't for Mattie, I'd probably still be there, lonely and hopeless. I don't really know when, why, or how he got to my house, but the last thing I remember, he was shaking my shoulders.

"Al! Get up!"

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. It was dark outside, so apparently I had fallen asleep right smack-dab in the road. Real smart of me, huh?

"Mattie? What the hell are you doing here?" I yawned, forcing myself to sit up.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that? And where are your glasses?"

So apparently that's why my vision was all screwed-up. I felt around blindly for my frames, only coming up with fist-fulls of sharp gravel sticking to my palms. Matthew had found them for me, and after cleaning them on his hoodie, put them on my face for me. I sighed, adjusting them so I could actually see my brother.

"Matt, I'm not a kid. I can take care of myself."

Matthew smiled sadly. "What's wrong, Al?"


I turned away from him, not being able to look into those sad, puppy-dog eyes.

"Al, seriously. Look at me."

I shook my head, folding my arms across my chest.

"Alfred. Look at me."

He sounded so serious, it was almost scary. I tilted my head up just enough to see him out of the corner of my eye.

"What're you doing out here?"

I stayed quiet.

"Why are you out here?"

"Just 'cause."

He chuckled, almost silently.

"Nobody lies in the middle of their driveway, 'Just 'cause'. C'mon, what's the matter?"

"I already told you, nothing's wrong. I'm fine."

He grabbed me by the jaw, jerking my head around so we were facing each other, dead-on.

"Al, I've known you since we were born. And I certainly know when you're bullshitting me. Now tell me, what's really wrong?"

I sighed. This was one battle I was not going to win.

"I'm in love."

Matt's face brightened as he pulled me into a tight hug. "Really, Al? That's great! I'm so happy for you! Who is it?"

I squirmed out of the hug, looking him in the eye. "Well, that's the problem. It's Kiku."

He tilted his head in confusion. "Why would that be a problem? Kiku's a perfectly nice guy."

"I know, but his boss… His boss doesn't like me, hates me in fact. He won't let me see him, or even call him anymore."

Mattie didn't say a word. He was too busy crying.

"That's the saddest thing I've ever heard."

I hate when my brother cries. When he cries, it makes you want to pound the skull in of whoever's responsible. But this time, it was kinda my fault, so I just made myself shut up until he started to calm down.

He dried his eyes on his sleeve, sniveling.


I looked up. Oddly enough, he was smiling.

"I have a plan."

"Plan? Plan for what?"

"I know a way we can make this all better. I know a way we can fix this."