So, I caved. Here is the first sequel to "Take Me and Leave Me". There will be a second, completly different one arriving soon. Hope you stay tuned for that one as well. :)
I apologize if the end is total crap. I tried but I just couldn't seem to make good sentences flow out of my head and into my keyboard. :/
Reid trudged into the bullpen the next morning, head down to hide the darker than usual circles under his eyes. He had slept fitfully last night and woke hours before his alarm. Three cups of coffee had not been enough to make him alert, and he clutched a fourth attempt in his hand.
"Hey, pretty boy, good… morning," Morgan trailed off as Reid brushed past, not acknowledging him. "You alright, kid?"
Reid dropped his messenger bag by his desk, collapsing in his chair. "I'm fine," he snapped, draining the last of his coffee and immediately delving into his stack of paperwork. The stack, he noticed, was twice as tall as either Morgan's or Prentiss'.
He internally groaned as, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Morgan stand and cross to him. He didn't turn his chair or look at him as Morgan perched on the edge of his desk. "What's up, kid?"
Reid closed his eyes, sighing as he ran his hands over his face. "I'm just tired," he said softly.
"Well, I imagine you didn't get much sleep last night," chuckled Morgan with a wink.
Reid forced a smile. "Yeah," he supplied, even though that wasn't what he meant. He was tired of this whole arrangement. Tired of pretending it was casual, that he didn't care. Tired of having his heart broken.
Morgan leaned forward, whispering in his ear. "Guess I should go easy on you tonight."
Reid shivered, jerking his head away slightly. "I-I uh." Reid cleared his throat. "I-I have other plans tonight," he lied.
Morgan pulled back, slightly confused. "Oh. Okay." He eyed Reid, who was unable to make eye contact, focusing instead on the file before him. Morgan shrugged. "Alright." He stood and went back to his own desk.
Reid's hands shook as he returned to his work. He hurried to finish the files, not stopping for lunch, even when JJ and Prentiss asked him. He had seen Morgan standing with Garcia, waiting for them, and had quickly declined. He was grateful though when, as they returned, JJ placed a sandwich on his desk.
He ate it quickly as he completed the last few files. He put the final in its appropriate place and walked up the few stairs and knocked on Hotch's door.
Reid entered slowly, nervously clutching his hands together. "H-Hotch, it it's okay and we don't have a case, would it be alright if I went home early? I've finished all my work."
Hotch stared at him, a brief flicker of concern crossing his usually impassive face. "Is everything alright?"
Reid nodded. "I'm just not feeling well."
Hotch stared at him a bit more. "Okay. I'll call if we get a case."
Reid nodded again, turning and hurrying back to his desk. He quickly shut down his computer and snatched up his messenger bag. Ignoring Morgan calling out to him, he hurried to the empty elevator. He sagged against the wall as the door slid closed.
Reid was curled up on the end of his couch, warm in his flannel pajamas, a steamy cup of coffee on the low table next to him. A stack of scientific journals sat beside the cup, and Reid was quickly making his way through them, enjoying the flow of new information that tucked away in his brain.
A noise startled him out of his reading and Reid glanced around. A few seconds passed before he heard it again.
Someone was knocking on his door.
Reid stood and slowly walked across the room. Glancing out the peephole, he quietly groaned as he saw Morgan standing there. Stepping back, he stared at the barrier of wood, contemplating whether to answer or not.
"Come on, Reid, I know you're in there," called Morgan. "I can see your shadow under the door."
A few choice swear words drifted through Reid's mind. He took a deep breath before he reached out and unlocked the door, pulling it open a couple inches. "Morgan," he greeted.
"You lied to me." Morgan stared at him.
Reid shifted uncomfortably, staring at the wall behind Morgan. "I'm sorry," he said softly.
Morgan sighed, running a hand across his face. "May I come in? Please," he added as Reid hesitated.
Opening the door completely, Reid turned and walked back to the living room. He heard the door click shut and felt the heat of another body standing behind him.
"What's going on, man?" asked Morgan.
Reid wrapped his arms tightly around his torso. "I can't do this anymore," he said quietly.
"What are you talking about?"
"I can't do this." Reid turned slowly to face him, his eyes seeking Morgan's face. "I can't keep doing this with you." He gulped, gaze dropping to the floor. "I can't keep doing this casual… whatever this is. I can't keep pretending that it's meaningless, 'cause it's not." Reid looked back up at him. "It means so much to me, too much to me. And I can't keep doing this to myself. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to you either."
Morgan stared at him, eyes unreadable. "When we started this, we agreed, we both agreed it would be casual." His voice was flat. "No strings attached."
Reid nodded, suddenly feeling the sting of impending tears. "I thought I could be happy with that," he said, voice wavering. "I thought I could be content to be with you and pretend it meant nothing. To be with you in any way was more than I could possibly imagine. But I can't do this." The tears began to roll down his face. "It hurts too much. Every time you leave, I can feel my heart breaking even more. And if I keep doing this, I'm scared I'll never be able to repair it."
Reid's watery eyes stared deep into Morgan's. "I love you, Derek. And I can't keep pretending otherwise."
A storm of various emotions clouded Morgan's eyes. "Reid, I…" His jaw tightened as he struggled with what to say. "I should go," he said abruptly.
Reid bit his lip to hold back a sob and nodded. He followed Morgan to the door, glancing up as Morgan turned to face him. The dark-skinned man opened his mouth to say something but closed it again, turning and walking out of the apartment.
Reid closed the door behind him, leaning against it as he slid down. He drew his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them as his body shook with sobs.
On the other side of the door, Morgan leaned against it, mind raging with thoughts.
For the next week, Reid did his best to avoid Morgan, while not letting it interfere with their work. He was sure the rest of the team knew something was going on. Hell, they were profilers, of course they knew something was going on.
He could feel their stares and questioning glances when he ignored Morgan's jokes and good-natured gibes. He could see them whispering whenever he turned down a lunch invitation where Morgan was also going. And it was impossible to miss the shock on Prentiss and JJ's faces when Morgan approached him once, asking if they could talk, and Reid coldly told him no before walking away.
So when Friday night finally arrived, Reid was greatly relieved. Barring the arrival of a new case, he wouldn't have to see Morgan until Monday.
Walking into his apartment, Reid hurried to the bathroom, peeling off his clothes and climbing into a hot shower. He stood beneath the stream of water, feeling the heat wash away the tension in his body. He stayed there until the water began to run cold.
Shutting off the faucet, he stepped out, snagging a towel off the rack. He dried off, ruffling his hair a bit before wrapping the towel around his waist. Not bothering to look in the fogged-over mirror, Reid opened the door-
-and cried out, finding himself face to face with Morgan.
He would have fallen back if Morgan hadn't reached out and caught his shoulders.
Reid shivered as those warm hands touched his bare skin and he shrugged himself out of the contact. "How did you get in here?" he asked, breathing still quick from fright.
Morgan held up a key. "Garcia gave me your spare."
Silently cursing Garcia, Reid crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Excuse me, I'd like to go get dressed."
Morgan's eyes trailed his body. "Why? Nothing I haven't seen before," he chuckled, quirking a brow.
Reid flushed, dropping his gaze. "Morgan," he said warningly.
"We need to talk," said Morgan quietly, his voice suddenly serious.
"May I please go get dressed?" Reid stared up at him pleadingly.
Morgan eyed him for a second before stepping aside. Reid hurried past him to his bedroom, snapping the door shut behind him. He dug through his closet, pulling out a pair of FBI sweatpants and a large t-shirt. He quickly put them on and then walked out to the living room.
He dropped down into the arm chair, refusing to sit on the couch with the other man. He squirmed a bit as Morgan stared at him, a surprised expression on his face.
"That's my shirt," Morgan said quietly, staring at the dark blue fabric.
Reid growled. "Fine," he snapped, yanking the shirt off and tossing it at Morgan, who fumbled as he caught it.
He stared down at the material, running his fingers across it. "I remember giving this to you," he said softly, glancing up at Reid with a slight laugh. "It was your first case, and you told me you were so excited you forgot to pack pajamas." Reid blushed a little at the memory. "You looked so uncomfortable trying to sleep in that button-up, I just…" Morgan trailed off, staring back down at the shirt. He slowly raised it to his face, inhaling the scent of Reid.
Glancing back up at the genius, he couldn't help as his eyes strayed to the exposed porcelain flesh of his thin chest. Smiling lightly as Reid flushed from his gaze, Morgan scooted to the end of the couch, holding the shirt out to him. "Even then, I just wanted to help you, to protect you, be there for you. Since that first day I met you," he said as Reid hesitantly took the shirt back. "I do care about you, Reid. Please don't ever think differently. I have always cared about you and always will."
Reid stared down at the fabric in his lap. "But?"
Morgan reached at, laying a hand on top of Reid's. "I don't… love you," he said. "In that way-"
Reid lip trembled, his eyes watering.
"-But I think I could."
Reid neck cracked with how fast he glanced up at Morgan. "W-What?"
Morgan grabbed the shirt, gently helping Reid put it back on. "This past week, I've been thinking a lot. About you, me, us. My thoughts and feelings. And I do feel something," he said, eyes wide and honest as Reid stared into them. "I can't deny that. But, it's… it's small and fleeting, yet every time I'm around you it seems to grow bigger and stronger. And I didn't realize that at first. And then when you told me how much you were hurting, well, that part of me with that feeling ached. I wanted to hold you and comfort you, protect you, just like always. But I… I don't know, I was just too scared."
Reid's mouth hung open as he stared at him.
"And then this past week, you avoiding me-" Reid had the decency to look abashed "-not being able to spend time with you, or talk to you, I felt miserable. I mean, I know you're my best friend, but this was more than that. I felt… I can't really explain it."
Reid nodded. "I know what you mean," he whispered.
Morgan leaned forward, slowly wrapping Reid in a hug, scared of his reaction. He smiled happily when Reid relaxed into his arms. "I don't know what this will lead to," continued Morgan honestly. "But, I want to try. Properly this time."
Reid brow flutter slightly with confusion. "Properly?"
Morgan nodded, smiling brightly. "I want to do this the right way. Dinners, movie dates, walks through the park, cuddling on the couch for long hours talking about nothing and everything."
"You… you want to date me?" asked Reid, pulling back slightly, eyes wide.
"Yes." Morgan stared at Reid, watching as the young man gnawed on his lip thoughtfully.
"Can we still have sex?" asked the genius.
Morgan groaned, pulling him closer again. "God, I hope so!"
Reid laughed, nuzzling his face into Morgan's neck. "I would love to go out with you," he said quietly.
Morgan smiled, hugging him tighter.
Eh, okay, maybe it wasn't so terrible. I was trying to convey that Morgan is on the way to being in love with Reid. He's just not quite there yet.
But, I do have a bonus chapter planned. Which, let's face it, is just gonna be pure sex. Not that I think many people will mind. ;)