Was he a fucking moron. actually, no he was not, he was actually logan mitchell, gang leader genious playboy billionier...diamond runner, drug lord, wannabe songwriter...the list went on and on really...fuck. fuck. FUCK. why did he do this to himself? he deserved all the shit he got really, it was his own fault. and now here kendall was smiling at him from across the room, cleaning up spilled cranberry juice with a blue dish rag, while consulting the weighed down mother, that had a snappy fourteen year old, a pouting seven year old, and a sobbing newborn in her grasp. poor chick. she needed some dick...or maybe she had had enough.
Kendall patted the head of the newborn sweetly and gave the seven year old a strawberry frosted donut with rainbow sprinkles. the little boy giggled at him, his feet swining from his chair, little chin bouncing to the beat of the usher song coming from the speakers. the teenager was bobbing her head but ignoring her snapping mother, whos pale face had gone red from trying to get her daughters attention.
logan could relate. he too felt like a father, ordering five hundred stupid teens around the place...
"Lucas, would you like more orange juice?" kendall fluttered over, green eyes big and wide, and inviting.
"No thanks, hun. I gotta get to the warehouse anyways..." he bit his lip and slowly got to his feet, stretching in the middle.
"Which one?" Kendall asked curiously.
"Um, the packaging one..." his lip quirked up, and he swung his tan messenger bag over his shoulder swiftly, he though it made him look more younger, more innocent. or at least thats what james had told him when he and carlos had gone out to get it for him. Kendall seemed to like it.
"What do they pack up?" Kendall asked, his head tilted slowly to the side.
"Um, herbs. and...jewels." he said, he winced at his own lie, but kendalls eyes were wide and innocent, and he didnt look as if he found what he had said odd.
"Herbs and Jewels...what kind of herbs and jewels?" Kendall asked, he had stopped wiping logans table and was looking at him. He had the curiousity of a child, logan had to give him that. Healthy, he would have said usually, but in this case...
"Like...mint leaves, dried rose petals...cinnamon?"he said it like a question, Kendall nodded, eyes widening in interest. "And some rubies, you know, for braclets and things. And diamonds, we ship them to other places...in the country." logan finished lamely.
"Like a legal diamond run or something?" kendall asked, smiling.
"Um...yeah,I guess." logan nodded. legal. yes. legal.
"So where do you get the diamonds from?" kendall asked him, he had begun to wipe up logans table again. he squeezed the access water onto the red table top and rubbed it roughtly into a little hand print, from a previous customer with a few kids at her hip.
"Peru. Cuba. Brazil." logan stopped himself after a moment, was he seriously giving out all this information out to a perfect stranger? he'd possibly kill any gang member who dared to do what he was doing now, but here he was, spitting it out like it was childish fun facts. 'But its Kendall,' a voice in the back of his head said to him. 'he didnt even know he was part of the gang, he was lucas henderson to him, a sweet southern golden boy who had inherited his fathers fortune at a young age...
he shook his head.
"You'd look really sweet with some emeralds at your stomach..." he muttered, eyeing kendalls butt as he bended over to pick up a foam cup under the table. he imagined kendall walking around his indoor pool, in tight, short white swim shorts with a emerald stutted belly button. mmmm...
"Um Lucas? can you hand me that rag, theres coffee spilled everywhere down here..." Kendalls voice came from under the table. Logan handed the rag to him slowly, his mind on other things, like if Stetson had picked up that order list from Wisconsin yet, and if Beau had figured out the right package to case three diamonds the size of his fist so they could ship it out to Boston without any problems with the cops or any questions about the weight from the post office...
"Can you move that chair for me...thanks." Kendall smiled at him from under the table, his shirt riding up as he bended more to rub the undersides of the chair legs...
"can you believe the nerve of some people, just dumping the coffee under the table and not saying anything, did you get any on your shoes, because coffee stains really bad if you dont run it out right away, and your wearing your really nice converse. i like the black better, but the gray is nice too. dont mention the expresso spilling to Bridgit okay? she inports it from portugal, or is it spain..." Kendall was lost in his own thoughts, he didnt even think kendall knew he was saying all of this stuff out loud...was he talking to himself? or was he thinking of stuff to say to logan and didnt realize his mouth was open and sound was coming out? Kendall shook his head under the table and straintened up swiftly, he ran his hands threw his blonde hair and smiled at logan slowly.
"You get going to work, alright? im fine with the coffee or whatever..." he stopped talking and blushed deeply. "I dont want you to be late. but your the boss so i guess it doesnt matter..." Kendall blushed again and looked down at the broken foam cup and dirty rag in his hand.
"yeah alright...bye Kendall.." he shared a smile with the blonde before walking out the door.
five hours later when kendall had locked up the shop and was done for the day, he began to walk home in the dark. Bridgit had a car and would drive him home when they left at the sametime, but she'd been sick lately so he'd been opening up the shop when it opened at seven and then locking up thirteen hours later when it closed at eight.
He eyed the whole empty street, a few other shop owners would wave at him as he walked past, and he would wave back awkwardly, they knew him from when he went to town meetings with Bridgit once a month, he never said anything but he thought they all assumed he was a mute and stopped trying to talk to him after the second or third time.
he stopped on the side walk when a group of clearly drunken men walked past him, one of them eyed him with a smirk, and another waggled his big fingers at him. he cringed and looked down at his worn blue vans, wincing at the memories that came with them.
there was few things that he had that he had boughten himself over the last few months. Kendall licked his lips and started to walk down the street again, his hand swinging at his side. he shook his head and looked at himself in the shop windows, trying to froget, but the memories came before he could stop them.
((((Kendall cringed as a guy, a son of one of his fathers friends..what was his name again? Jacob, yes that was it. Jacob. Jacob pulled out of him lightly, something that Kendall wasnt used to. Usually they would tug out of him roughly, they would hurt him some more just to hear him cry out one more time, before they left and never saw him again. this guy did not do this though, he was soft, and as he recalled he hadnt hurt him at all during sex, he had prepared him. well that was different...and yes he had to think back, after years of being prostituted out to his dads friends and there sons and thier friends, he had learned to zone out and not feel or see or think, think about a better life, far away from there, where his father didnt exist and he was safe and happy. maybe even with a friend. maybe with someone who could love him for real...
Jacob redressed himself and then handed Kendall a big shoe box. he took it slowly.
"Whats this?" Kendall croaked, confused.
"A little gift for your services...you were pretty good babe." ))))
When Kendall had opened it he had found two hundred dollars and a new new pair of light blue vans. that was when kendall had started to collect, Jacob had started something with his visitors, whenever he was visited by someone they would almost always give him a little gift, some shoes, a shirt, a belt, five dollars, a cup of coffee...he collected the money in a little tin under his bed, his father didnt know about the money. Nor about any of the other things.
Whatever he didnt need he sold, a CD player for five bucks, a radio for twenty, a book about something he held no interest in, for three. it didnt matter, as long as he got some money in return. the gifts had started when he was thirteen and by the time he had was eightteen, he had a bunch of clothes, a suitcase from a guy at school he had slept with, and six thousand dollars. five years to get it, but it was worth it. it gave him his freedom.
When his dad was at the bar a week after his eighteenth birthday, he and his suitcase and money had gone out the window to his fathers bedroom, all the other doors were locked from the outside, and all the windows had locks on them and duck tape as thick as his fist. he still remembered booking it down the street and hopping in the car of a guy at his school, that guy who he had slept with the day before as payment for the ride and had paid off to not tell his father anything, dropped him off at the county line, he had been walking for a few hours, crying because he was so happy, enjoying the fresh air and sense of freedom.
When all of a sudden a car pulled up besides him, it wasnt his dads or one of his friends, the car was too old fashioned for that, plus it was light teal with purple rims, no one who knew his father would be caught dead in that thing. But he liked it, it was funky and different, and there was even white daisy's painted on the pumpers and trunk door. Sort of like Scobby Doo's Mystery Machine...he had been thinking when he went to the drivers side window, he had bended down to meet a wrinkled face, blue eyes, and salt and pepper hair. she was sporting big red sunglasses on top of her head even though it was the middle of the night, and was dressed like a hippie from the sixties or something. Kendall decided he liked her, his dad hated hippies...because acording to him, peace and love never got you anywhere but six feet under...
"Hello dear, do you need a ride?" she has asked, she had the sweetest voice he had ever heard. It reminded him of his mothers voice when she would sing lullabys to him when he was a baby..
"Where are you going,miss?" he had asked politely.
"Home. To Cherryinn." she said, grinning.
"Wheres that miss?" he had wondered, he needed to get at least a few counties over, no were near Littlefork...
"Oh its the smallest town you ever saw, not alot of people know about it unless you came from there or know someone who lives there. Its about three counties north," she added when Kendall didnt say anything.
"Is it hidden?" he wondered.
"In the middle of a forest, then a lot of farms, til you get to the little town in the middle. So the town is small, hard to not get lost getting there, actually," she looked at him patiently.
He considered, "Okay. thank you miss." they smiled at one another and Kendall climed into the backseat, it was quiet for a good hour then, but Kendall didnt mind he was thinking of his game plan, what would he do when he finally got to this Cherryinn place?
"Is there a inn or something at Cherryinn?" he asked her.
"Yup, The Cherry Inn. Its clever dont you think?" she asks him with enthusiasm.
"Yes miss," he nodded. "How much is it a night?"
He would have to make the money last until he could go find a job, he got good grades in high school afterall, and did a lot of community survice, it shouldnt be that hard to find a job.
"Fifty bucks for the smallest room. A thousand a month if your thinking about living there. The owners, the Kings old family friends, are really generous people." she told him. "By the way, sunny, my name is Bridgit, Bridgit Michelle Copperfield whats your name?" she asked at a red light.
"Kendall. Kendall Francis Knight." he said shyly.
"My daddy's name was Francis. Thats a lovely name, Kendall, who picked it out?" she asked him.
"My mama." he whispered. "She died when i was twelve, though." Bridgit's face fell for a moment.
"I'm sorry to hear that, darlin'"
"Its fine, hey is there any chance of getting a job in this town?" he asked, wanting to change the subject as quickly as possible, he didnt want to talk about his mother with strangers, even sweet little old ladies.
"Sure. you can work at my coffee shop Bridges, my clerk girl just quit and ran off to California to be a model or actress or whatever she liked to do, or maybe to be with that die-recter she was sleeping with. Who knows? It'll be easy seeming as your gonna live with me in the apartment above,"
Kendalls mouth fell open. "Miss I couldnt-" he began.
"Oh yes you can, and you will. you must be mightly desperate to want to come to a place like Cherryinn, Minnesota."
It had only been a month later that Kendall told Bridgit about his sexuality, which he never knew whether was natural or forced because the men he had been with, and then about his father, and the abuse and the rape and all the men he had been forced to sleep with and how much they hurt him.