And I think I have to be okay with that with the possibility that things might never be the same between us again - and just be grateful that he is here alive" Astley, wisely, doesn't answer. Instead, he takes my hand. I let him. There's comfort there. He is, after all, my king. But more importantly, he is my friend. "someday, when we have time and life isn't so dangerous-crazy, let's just hang out ok?" I stare up into his sad face, "please ...maybe go sledding. I still haven't done that." he clears his throat "anytime" I start to tug my hand away and then think better of it. My mother smiles at Issie in the kitchen. Nick stirs on the couch, beginning to wake up. I will have to go to him, tell him everything all over again, protect him as he always protected everyone else. "Odin said that I am the leader here, not Nick?" I ask. My stomach hardens. "Do you think he's wrong?" Astley's fingers tighten around mine. "No, but we can pretend that Nick is the leader if it makes it easier on you." "If he's not the leader, what is he?" "A man. A warrior. Someone you and your friends love." Now they are all laughing inside, clanking their mugs and glasses together, toasting something... I don't know what. My mother looks out the window again, and behind that smile is the look she has always had, the look I never recognised before- fear. "We have got to figure this out," I say, turning away from the warmth in the house, turning away from the people I have left, and turning towards him, the pixie king with snow in his hair and sorrow in his eyes. " We have to figure out how to keep everyone safe, to stop this war." His grip tightens. "We will." (end of entice) [start of endure] We stand there in silence. I stare into his green eyes, though his sorrow speaks deep blue. he breaks the silence first "your wolf is awaking". I don't say any thing back, but just nod. Some how I know that I'm the one thats the cause of his pain, I've hurt him, maybe even betrayed him some how. I feel a sour lump in my throat, all I can say to him is "thank you". He leans towards me, i feel like my heartbeat jumps to five hundred beats a minute. He whispers and says "there's no more need to thank me Zara", his voice is huskier then usual. His grip loosens, and he let's go of my hand finger by finger. My hands grip onto the doorknob, feeling cold underneath my fingertips, I take a deep breath. is there a fear of being unexsepted?. The only similar one is Autophobia - A persistent fear of loneliness, of being alone. A fear of solitude. May worry about being ignored and/or unloved, that's how I feel about me and nick. What if he doesn't like me because of who I am now?. In my case it's - what I am. My heart cringes with pain just from the thought of nick not wanting me back. I know there's a high chance of that, of nick not wanting me back right when I turned. But if he does I still won't regret the choice I made, because I got him back and that's what I wanted. When I walk In every one stops talking, all eyes are on me. I stare at nick to see he's awake. Thats when I see it, his nose-trolls flare with anger, his brown eyes awake with disgust. That's when I know it, that he's sensed what I am, a pixie.