Blue Eyes, Silent Tears
Chapter 1: Coming of Age
(This story is dedicated to the numerous people who have PM'ed over the past year, asking me to tell Tetsuya's story. The story does include some violence and non-con sex. The story begins just before the liberation of Itamigiri. Thanks so much for embracing this special character. I am deeply touched by the love that Tetsuya has earned from readers. And yes! He will meet Arashi in the story too! :) He will share a slowly blossoming relationship with his cousin, Byakuya, as the heir tries to break through the protective barriers to reach his traumatized cousin. Thanks so much for reading!)
"I am frightened, Naoki," Tetsuya admitted, breathing the words into his cellmate's ear, so that the nearby guards could not hear, "Does it hurt?"
The gentle, brown-eyed youth slipped a hand into Tetsuya's under the thin blanket that covered them and brushed the long black wisps of hair out of the younger boy's eyes. He smiled reassuringly.
"They will be gentle with you the first time," he whispered, "Most of them are not terribly cruel...though that bastard, Orochi-san, can be horrid. But he is not here so often, so don't worry."
"But, why do they do this?" Tetsuya asked, a shiver in his voice, "I don't understand why they do these things to us."
Naoki sighed and stroked his hair lightly.
"They do it because they can," said the older youth, "though they seem to think it is all right, because we are prisoners and have no right to object. They have their sick fantasies, and here...here, no one cares that they indulge themselves. Most of them just do it for the sexual thrill. But...some..."
He saw the fear returning to Tetsuya's eyes and stopped himself. His lips found the younger boy's in the darkness and caressed them gently.
"It will be all right," he whispered, "They will probably have me there too, so if you get nervous, I will be there. Just...you must do as they say, Tetsuya. I know you are scared, but you have to be strong, and just make yourself do whatever they tell you to. They won't hurt you if you are cooperative."
"But...I don't know how to...cooperate," Tetsuya whispered back, "I have never done anything like what you told me they did to you."
Naoki squeezed his hand.
"It is not too difficult," he assured the other boy, "I will show you, but we have to be careful. They will punish us both if they see. They want it to be your first time."
Tetsuya sought Naoki's eyes in the darkness.
"I would rather it be with you," he said, offering his friend a shy smile.
Naoki smiled back at him and coaxed Tetsuya onto his back, then laid on top of him, kissing him again. He admired the younger boy's lean body for several long minutes, then began a slow, gentle exploration, touching him first to calm and relax him, then teasing his sensitive areas beneath the blankets. Tetsuya sighed and went quiet as the older youth touched him, first running his fingers along Tetsuya's lips, then kissing and softly nipping at his throat. And as his hands explored the younger boy, Tetsuya caught his breath softly at the feel of it, but was quieted by the touch of Naoki's fingertips on his lips. The older boy slid off of the younger as a guard passed by and shined a light into their cell. They both feigned sleep, holding their breath until the man walked away.
"Sorry," Tetsuya mouthed soundlessly.
"That's all right," Naoki whispered back.
He slid down under the blanket and kissed his way down Tetsuya's torso, while the younger boy bit his lips and breathed silently. He nearly gasped when Naoki's warm mouth wrapped around him, and he moved the blanket so that he could see. His friend's head rose and fell slowly, and the warmth made his heart pound and his hands clench. He bit his lips harder and forced himself to keep breathing silently. Naoki's head rose and fell, rose and fell, his friendly eyes looking up into Tetsuya's as the younger boy watched. Naoki stopped and released Tetsuya for a moment.
"They will make you do this to them," he explained, "And when they finish, you have to start swallowing right when it begins, or you will choke. Watch."
Tetsuya watched as the older boy's mouth sank down again. He almost forgot to attend to what Naoki was doing as the pleasure blossomed inside him, and he began to feel as if he was about to fall from a very great height. His head swam and his body twitched warningly. Then, something gave way inside him, and the good feeling overtook him. He could barely keep himself silent as the sensations washed over him, leaving him warm and relaxed as Naoki crawled back up and began to kiss him again. He wondered at the odd taste of himself in the other boy's mouth, but didn't think it to be unpleasant at all. Rather, it was a calm, beautiful expression of mutual enjoyment...something to brighten their small world, if only for a moment. Tetsuya sank into Naoki's mouth hungrily, then paused and met his eyes questioningly.
"Are you...sure?" Naoki asked, "You might cough and bring the guards."
"I won't," Tetsuya promised.
Naoki studied him in the darkness, then smiled and nodded. Tetsuya made a trail of kisses down his friend's body, touching Naoki as the other boy had touched him. He smiled at the way his mouth gave Naoki such pleasure that the older boy, too, had to work at keeping quiet. Tetsuya felt Naoki shiver beautifully, then heard a soft hiss in his ear.
He swallowed, but still nearly choked. He longed to take a breath but didn't dare until Naoki fell still, panting softly and stroking Tetsuya's cheek. Naoki sat up and pulled Tetsuya close, kissing him and tasting himself in the younger boy's mouth. Then he coaxed Tetsuya onto his back and laid on top of him again. They rested together that way as their bodies calmed. Then, Naoki met his eyes and smiled.
"Are you less afraid now?" he asked.
"Sort of," Tetsuya said, smiling back, "But...I still am afraid of it hurting when they put it inside me."
"They will prepare you," Naoki assured him, "Like this."
He began kissing Tetsuya again, and as he did, he slipped his fingers into the younger boy's mouth to wet them, then slowly prepared him as they kissed and touched each other. Tetsuya felt his fears easing and remained calm, even as his friend continued the pleasure. Naoki kissed him harder and pushed Tetsuya's legs open wide as he joined their bodies. Tetsuya held his breath and stared into Naoki's gentle eyes as the older boy moved. He stopped for a moment and looked down into the younger boy's wide, blue eyes.
"I love you," he whispered, "We will always be friends and we will always have this to help us remember each other, no matter what happens."
Tears came to Tetsuya's eyes.
"I love you too, Naoki," he whispered back, barely holding back a gasp of pleasure as the other youth began to move again.
He trembled and moved with Naoki, struggling to keep silent as they made love. They bit at each other's lips and kissed harder as the pleasure rose up in them and threatened to overcome them. Everything seemed to disappear around them, and for a moment, the walls and bars, the strict rules, and punishments and guards all vanished, and there was nothing in their world but the warm thrust of their joined bodies, the heat of their barely contained breath...the calm, sweet freedom of their forbidden union. Naoki's hand covered Tetsuya's mouth as they climaxed together, and an incredible heat filled Tetsuya inside. He barely felt his own emission as the older boy went still, panting breathlessly against Tetsuya's shoulder. Naoki rested on top of him after, touching and kissing his lips, caressing his fingers under the blankets and remaining joined with him until Tetsuya drifted off into a contented sleep. He cleaned away the traces of their lovemaking carefully, then curled up next to Tetsuya and joined him in sleep.
"Tetsuya," Kiko Kuchiki said, smiling warmly as her teenaged son was let into her cell.
She embraced him with trembling arms, and Tetsuya kissed her lightly on the cheek.
"Are you all right, Mother?" Tetsuya asked worriedly.
"Oh, segare," Kiko said, brushing off his concern, "I am fine. I am just glad to see you."
But it didn't escape her son that she flinched when he hugged her again. He knew better than to ask, but suspected that there were bruises beneath the thin yukata she wore. He forced down the sickness that rose up in him, considering how they had gotten there.
"I am glad to see you too."
He didn't know what to say beyond that. The guards remained nearby, watching the two out of the corners of their eyes.
"You have grown up so much, even just since I last saw you," his mother went on, "You...look so much like Takao."
Tetsuya remembered the picture she kept, concealed in her cell, that she had told him once, she whispered to when she felt scared or lonely...which Tetsuya knew, in this place, was often.
"I am glad," he whispered, "I want to be strong, like he was...so that I can get us out of this place."
His mother's eyes grew sad.
"Don't say such things, Tetsuya," she whispered, "You will only rile them. You have to be calm and obey them. The time may come when we can fight them, but that time is not here yet. We must persevere until we are strong enough...or until someone comes to free us."
Neither dared speculate on how likely that latter was. They sat down together and talked softly, and had tea, ignoring the true reason that he had been allowed to see her that day. But even as they ignored the facts, Kiko's hands shook softly. And when the guards returned to the cell door, she stepped in between them and her son.
"Please," she pleaded with them, "He is too young. Please don't do this to him. Don't hurt him! I will...go with you instead. I will do anything! Just..."
"Move aside," one of the guards said, shoving her back.
Tetsuya stepped forward, his blue eyes flashing and his fists clenched, but a second guard grabbed his wrist warningly, freezing him in place as Kiko wiped her wet eyes and stepped forward again.
"It is sinful what you are doing! It isn't right! We are people! We are...!"
The guard struck her hard across the face, sending her crashing to the floor of her cell. Tetsuya tore free of the other guard and dropped down beside her, pulling her close and holding her against his shoulder.
"Why did you do that?" he whispered, "I don't want you to get hurt. Please, just...I will be all right, I promise. I will."
"Tetsuya!" Kiko sobbed as the guards took hold of him and dragged him away from her.
"Shh," he said warningly, "It's all right. I will be all right."
"He'll be okay," said the younger of the two guards, "They won't be cruel to him. Now, calm down."
"Shut up and don't talk to them," said the older guard, glaring at his colleague, "Bring him along. They're waiting for him."
Tetsuya followed the men quietly out of the cell, trying not to hear his mother's rising sobs as they walked away. He said nothing as they left the women's section of the prison, and remained silent as they passed through the section where his cell was, then kept going. The guards led him into a nearly empty room that had a mat set out in the middle of the floor.
"Wait here," they told him.
He stood quietly, thinking about his father's picture that his mother kept, about her warnings, and Naoki's gentle instruction...especially the last part, whispered into his ear as he drifted, near sleep.
"If it gets bad, just imagine you are here with me again. Pretend that their rougher hands are my gentler ones, and that the words they say are the kind words we said to each other. Don't look into their eyes. They will be angry and hurt you more if you do. Look away and imagine you are somewhere else, somewhere beautiful. You will be all right, Tetsuya."
He closed his eyes, imagining a place far away from the prison, a place with wide open fields, flowers and grass, blue sky and free flowing streams. He pretended to breathe in the fresher air, and to hear laughter, birds...anything but the footsteps that were approaching the room he stood in. He pretended with all of his heart that the door opening was being opened by the young lord Byakuya, the one whom he had heard, had learned of the existence of the prison, and had resolved to find and empty it. Yes, even in Itamigiri, word leaked through of that young man. And it gave Tetsuya hope, even as the door to the room opened, and a youth somewhat older than him, followed by a small group of men entered the room.
"Well, Cousin," said Orochi's low, grating voice, "I imagine that congratulations are in order. Happy birthday."
Tetsuya said nothing and remained calm as his older, fully noble cousin stepped forward and stood, face to face with him. He tried to take Naoki's advice, to avoid the eyes of his cousin, and the other men, but Orochi took hold of his chin and forced him to look.
"Would you like your coming of age gift, Tetsuya?" Orochi asked, smiling wickedly.
If it had been anyone else, Tetsuya knew he could have tolerated it. But he hated Orochi's cruel nature, and could not stop himself. Still looking into his cousin's hateful eyes, he spat in Orochi's face.
It is worth it, he swore to himself as Orochi took him to his knees with a hard blow to the midsection, No matter what he does, it is worth it to have had that small victory.
He felt the rending of his poor clothing and the sting and burn of Orochi's nails as they raked his fine skin, and he disappeared into that wonderful other place. He didn't feel the hands that held him down, or hear his cousin call him a half-blood. He missed entirely, the rough invasion of his body, first by his own cousin, and then, one-by-one by the others who had been holding him. He kept himself carefully removed from what was happening, exerting intense force of will and blocking out everything until Orochi came close again and whispered in his ear.
"By the way, I meant to tell you she met with a sudden accident."
Tetsuya froze, his heart pounding painfully.
"It seems she couldn't handle when they took you away and went into fits. One of the guards was a little too eager in subduing her and I'm afraid she was fatally injured. My condolences, of course, cousin."
Everything disappeared into a hot blaze of red fury as Tetsuya turned and took hold of his cousin, ripping, tearing, striking and screaming until the other men dragged him away and held him down so tightly that he could no longer breathe. He loosed a howl of agony as Orochi's foot struck his face, then tore free and took his cousin to the ground. Rage and grief exploded out of him, raining down on the other young man and leaving him bloody and unconscious as Tetsuya was dragged away again.
He felt a stinging pain in his arm and his legs collapsed beneath him. His head spun devilishly and the room went suddenly dark. He tried to retreat in his mind, but whatever they had given him, held him close to the surface and unable to escape as the men gathered around him again and treated his shaking body to a second sharing of their wickedness.
I wonder if that cruelty is a poison...if it will poison me and make me hard and foul inside, like they are.
I want so much to hate them. But they were poisoned because they hated. I do not want that poison in me.
I do not want their poison in me...
I will not hate them, but I will hate what they do.
I will not be poisoned with their hatred.
I will not be poisoned...
But the hatred poured out of the ones who held him down, flowing into his quivering body. It took everything inside him not to make himself one with that hatred. But it was a matter of deep pride that although they had fouled and bloodied his body...
They could not touch his pure soul.
He held on to that through everything...even as they concluded their torments, and Orochi returned and lifted his limp body off the floor. He carried Tetsuya to the window and balanced him there, then looked down into his glazed eyes.
"You are trash...refuse. And you are about to be thrown away."
Orochi's hands shoved him through, and Tetsuya felt himself roll over the edge and begin to fall. Somehow his hand caught hold of his cousin's cloak. And eye to eye, the two tumbled out the window and plunged down a long fall, crashing into a river below the prison and separating.
Tetsuya's mind spun dangerously as his body was turned and tumbled, then sucked down beneath the surface of the water. He couldn't tell which way was up, or if his eyes were opened or closed. The water went silent around him, holding him suspended on the edge between life and death.
He felt his heart slow and his lungs screamed for air. He felt himself begin to lose consciousness, but as he sank into the darkness, blue light rose around him. A petite silhouette appeared in front of him, then soft lips touched his and breathed new life into his failing form.
Who are you?
The elflike girl smiled.
I am Re-kuhime. I am your zanpakutou, Tetsuya Kuchiki. Sleep now.
But I have to...
No. It isn't time now. If you try to escape tonight, you will die. We must wait for him. I promise that he will come soon to liberate us.
Yes...sleep now. You cannot drown. I will protect you. Sleep.
He let himself drift away then, carried by the current and tumbled onto the shore.
"He's still alive, but he's hurt from the fall," one of the guards said, dragging Orochi's limp body out of the water, "What about him?"
"Alive," answered the man leaning over Tetsuya, "Should I throw him back in and finish him?"
"No...bring him along. Orochi-san went too far. It wasn't his fault. Besides, this one is too pretty to waste. You can hardly tell him for a half-blood."
The voices went quiet and Tetsuya sank into the odd silence. When he woke again, he was back in his cell, shivering with cold as Naoki's voice sounded in his ear.
"It's all right now. You're all right. I'll take care of you, Tetsuya. We'll be all right..."