What up, peoplezez
New chapter, Same craziness
Junjie was absolutely furious when he locked the door behind him. When Lorelei had promised to marry him in exchange for Colin's safety, he never counted on his friends going to interfere. Now that there was no chance that Lorelei would ever willingly agree to marry him again, he was forced to take a more underhanded approach to get her to marry him.
"I'm sorry we don't have enough time for romance, my dear," he said.
He then runs and jumps on the bed where Lorelei is and gets on top of her. Lorelei put up a brief struggle to shake him off, but it didn't seem to do anything.
"Consider this foreplay," he says.
He then begins to rip off Lorelei's wedding dress in order to have his way with her. However, this proves to be futile as he then sees the one thing that made it all worse.
"A chastity belt!" he gawked. "Ooh, that's going to chafe my Willy. I'll be back".
He then jumps off the bed and heads to a nearby closet. Lorelei just stares at him, silently groaning under the knowledge that she would not like whatever he had planned.
The battle outside the caste was winding down. Not only had most of the guards been taken out, but Taotie had been capture in some vain attempt to slip away during the confusion. With not much left to do, Colin's friends just stared at the castle, wondering what sort of shenanigans Junjie was going to try on Lorelei and worried if Colin was going to reach them in time.
"I hope she's still wearin' her iron underwear." Peng says outside.
"Yeah." Nathan says agreeing with him.
Then they hear what sounds like a jackhammer firing up in the room Junjie in Lorelei were in. The group looked at each other and hoped that Colin would reach her soon.
Junjie had been using a jackhammer to try to get the chastity belt off of Lorelei for a while. However, the material that made it seemed to be really thick because he couldn't break through. On top of that, it seemed to make Lorelei even testier at him.
"No matter what you do, I shall never submi-I-I-it!" Lorelei snaps as she is feeling the effects of the jackhammer as Junjie continues to pound away.
Suddenly, the door that Junjie locked get busted open. Colin, slightly, out of breath but nonetheless pleased with himself, appeared from the other side.
"Aha!" he says.
"Coli-i-in!" Lorelei says happy to see him.
Colin then shuts the door then pulled out a slightly wavy sword out of his robe to use. Junjie, slightly taken aback from what was going on, powered down the jackhammer.
"Prepare for the fight scene," Colin said.
"Forgive the interruption, my darling." Junjie says bringing out his own sword. "I'll dispatch your love and then come back and… finish the job".
Junjie then got off the bed and went over to Colin. He yelled as he tried to put his sword through Colin but he dodged.
"En garde." said the fox.
"Thanks for the warning." Colin said.
Junjie charged at Colin and they began their sword fight. Colin seemed to be on the defensive as Junjie tried to swipe the peacock down. This seemed to go on for a while until Junjie hits a stone pole, making a spark of electricity come out.
"Shocking!" Colin joked.
Junjie then yelled as they fought again. Furious over the joke, Junjie forced Colin to back up into a corner. However, this did nothing to dampen his mood.
"Parry, parry, thrust, thrust… good!" Colin says as Junjie did just those moves with his sword.
Lorelei sighs because Colin is doing so well. The fight continues as Colin begins to go on the offensive. After a few parries, Colin sweeps his tail feathers under Junjie which he barely jumps over. However, Junjie was unable to stick the landing and accidentally backs up into a fireplace, burning his posterior and making him yelp.
As he backs away from the fireplace, they just go at each other with their swords. They then move into a position where their shadows are only seen still fighting behind a pillar. Then they put their swords aside as they make shadow puppets. Junjie does a duck while Colin does a dog. They quack and bark as the puppets get into a scuffle. Then Colin makes a whimpering sound as Lorelei gasps.
The fight continues as they still go at it. It seems like Colin is making Junjie back up. Colin goes for him but hits another stone pole making another spark of electricity come out. Then Colin tries again but accidentally gets NITRO's meat lover pizza in his sword.
"Hey!" NITRO yells.
"Oh, sorry." Colin says as he hands out his sword, giving the pizza back.
They continue to go evenly until their swords make them go face to face. They try to get the best of each other when Junjie pull out a dagger and tries to stab Colin. He dodges but the dagger catches Colin's necklace. Colin grabs his hand trying to confiscate the dagger but they both let go. Colin's necklace gets cut off and goes flying through the air.
When it hits the roof, it breaks open revealing a key with a heart shape at the end. The key then falls landing right inside the lock on Lorelei's chastity belt. A perfect fit!
"It is the key to the greatest treasure in all of China!" Colin happily says.
"Oh! Colin, this means you've always been my one true love, because it's just the right size." Lorelei says happily.
"It's not the size that counts! It's how you use it!" Junjie yells as he tries to hit Colin.
"Colin!" Lorelei warns him as Colin ducks.
They then clash swords twice before Colin kicks Junjie square in the jaw, knocking him out temporarily.
"Thank you, my friend." Colin tells his sword as he kisses it.
Lorelei then gasps as Junjie is coming right behind Colin with his dagger. Colin then put his sword right behind him and without notice, Junjie walks right into it. Lorelei gags as Junjie groans. Wondering why the sword was still there, Colin turns around and sees that the end of the sword on Junjie's stomach.
Oh, it's not so bad." He says.
He then turns and we see that the sword went right through him. His face wilts on the realization of what was going on.
"I was wrong." Junjie says as he falls backwards.
A scream was then heard from the doorway. Minion had come in the room and was freaking out about the fact that the one she loves has a sword through him. She quickly ran over to him as Lorelei gets off the bed and joins Colin as they look at them.
"Oh, my dear beloved Sheriff of the Valley of Peace!" she wailed. "You've been run through. How do you feel?"
"I'm dying, you fool!" Junjie snapped.
"You don't have to die." Minion says.
"I don't?" The fox asks.
"No... I've got this magic pill that could save your life." Minion says getting out what looks like a Lifesaver mint. "And I'll give it to you if you promise to marry me and be mine forever".
Junjie then looks at Colin and Lorelei as they give convincing faces. He then groaned internally over the fact that there was no choice in the matter.
"Oh, all right. Yes, yes." he says.
Minion quickly gave him the pill and begins to pull out the sword. In a few moments the sword came out and Junjie was completely unharmed.
"How do you feel now?" Minion asks him.
"Good, good... surprisingly good… and yet, somehow incredibly depressed." Junjie says.
Minion smiles and laughs at Junjie's predicament. She then grabs Junjie's ankles and drags him out of the room. He groans as she's doing it.
"I always wanted to marry a cop." Minion says to Colin and Lorelei as she leaves with him.
"Wait, wait! I've changed my mind!" Junjie yells as he's still being dragged away.
Colin and Lorelei now turn to each other.
"I love you, Colin Neilson." Lorelei says to him.
"And I you, Lorelei of Bagelle." Colin says to her.
"Oh!" Lorelei says as Colin then picks her up in his wings. He gives her a ride to the bed, then he gets on the bed with her.
"Oh, my darling. At last." Colin says to her.
"Yes, yes. Yes, yes! Yes!" Lorelei says as he guides Colin's wing to the key as he begins to turn it.
Looking toward the door, they saw the Soothsayer standing there completely out of breath. Colin groans thinking 'What is it now?' as she shuffled over toward them.
"Wait, wait! You're not married yet! Before you do it, you must go through it. Or else I blew it." Soothsayer says panting.
Colin and Lorelei look at each other and shrug thinking that Soothsayer is right. If it meant shutting her up about the situation, it would be best if they were married.
Horray! Junjie's screwed and Colin and Lorelei are going to get married. It couldn't get any better
NITRO PSYCHO OUT!