Hey everyone!

This was written during the time period that Ziva disappeared. Also written from Tony's point of view.


I stared out the window of my apartment, into the pouring rain. The can of beer still sat on the table, unopened. I reached for it, then pulled my hand back. I had been trying to drink it off every night since she was gone. All I got was a heavy hangover the next day.

Didn't make me forget that she was gone.

Skip it, I thought to myself. Instead, I reached for the radio. I turned the dial. "Next up: the latest Bruno Mars hit, It Will Rain." The radio announcer cried. I grimaced. The last damn thing I need to hear right now is some sappy, overrated teenage girl love song, I thought as I reached for the dial.

If you ever leave me, baby
Leave some morphine at my door

I paused, my hand hovering over the dial.

Cause it would take a whole lot of medication
To realize what we used to have, we don't
Have it anymore

I leaned back. It didn't sound like a crappy, overly-cheerful love song. Maybe I'd listen.

There's no religion that could save me

My thoughts traveled back to Ziva. Even though I wasn't usually a heavy church guy, I had been praying, sometimes for hours, that Ziva was safe. That somewhere in this world, she was still holding on.

No matter how long my knees are on the floor

So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm making
Will keep you by my side
Keep you from walking out the door

I remember her holding that gun to my chest, screaming at me. She could've shot me, right there. But she didn't. Something stopped her.

I may have seemed angry, but, inside, I was falling apart. Everything came crumbling down, because even though I shot Michael for the safety of our team, it was also out of jealousy. That sleaze bag didn't deserve Ziva.

But did that mean I did?

Cause there'll be no sunshine
If I lose you, baby

I hoped to god that I hadn't lost her.

There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same

I felt my eyes watering. I didn't try to stop it. I just let them fall down.

If you walk away
Every day it will rain, rain, rain…

Every day it will rain. Well, my life certainly hasn't been blue skies and sunshine lately.

I'll never be your mother's favorite
Your daddy can't even look me in the eye

Her terrible father. He had used her, and Ziva knew it. But she wouldn't say it.

I clenched my fists. That bastard was killing her, I though angrily. He hated me because I could see it; could it be possible that he thought that I was softening Ziva?

If I was in their shoes
I'd be doing the same thing
"There goes our little girl
Walking with that troublesome guy."

Troublesome guy. Huh, that was me. The bar hopper, the partier, the ladies man. The guy that only seemed to care about beer, parties, and sex.

But I could change. I'd change for her. I'd do anything for her.

I hope to god it isn't too late, I prayed.

But they're just afraid of something they don't understand
Well, little darling, watch me change their minds

Watch me change everything for her. Watch me amaze the world by becoming the soft, sweet, lover Tony DiNozzo.

The one that no one knew.

Yeah, for you
I'll try, I'll try, I'll try, I'll try
I'll pick up these broken pieces until I'm bleeding
If that don't make it right

I'd pick up the shattered pieces, whether it was the shards of Michael's death or the sharp pains of Ray's heartbreaking leave. I'd pick them up until my hands were bleeding, if that made it right.

Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby

"If I lose you, baby…" I found myself softly murmuring the lyrics.

There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby

I began to softly sing the lyrics.

And just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same

If you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain…

It will rain, every day, until she came back.

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