Five of Shawn Spencer's failed attempts to get a girlfriend.

1:

Shawn closed his eyes and smiled.

"What are you doing?" Carlie asked.

"Ask me anything about the appearance of the restaurant."

Carlie snorted. "Why?"

"I'm psychic. I'll be able to answer any question. My dad usually asks how many hats there are. But anything works."

Carlie smiled. "Okay...Who's the prettiest girl in the room?"

Shawn frowned. "Hm...I don't know. That brunette over by the window is pretty cute, with the green flowered tee-shirt and the scarf." He opened his eyes. Carlie was glaring at him.

"What?" he asked.

She reached across the table and slapped him, then walked out of the restaurant, Shawn watching her go, rubbing his cheek and wondering what he did wrong.

2:

Shawn looked around the room, flirting with each of the girls. First day of high school. So far, so good. Already, girls were checking him out. His eyes fell on a particularly cute blonde, and he went and sat next to her.

"Hey there," he said suavely, giving her a seductive smile.

"Shuttup."

Shawn ignored her and kept talking. "My name's Shawn. I'm psychic. Don't tell me your name, I'll figure it out."

The girl glared at him and stood up. "Whatever, Spencer. You're an idiot. Leave me alone."

"What? Hey! You don't even know me! How did you..."

The girl rolled her eyes. "I went to school with you Shawn. Except I had glasses, and braces, and my hair was shorter, and I didn't have boobs, and I wore baggy pants and t-shirts. And you made fun of me."

Shawn's jaw dropped. "Metal-mouth? It's you?"

"Yeah, Shawn. It's me. And my name is Julie. Don't waste your breath apologizing. You can shove it."

Shawn closed his mouth and watched her go.

3:

"Anna, are you sure you can go out with me tonight?" Shawn asked.

Anna raised an eyebrow. "Shawn, I'm the hottest girl that's ever said yes to you, and you're acting like you don't want to go out. What's gotten into you?"

"Well, I know you spent the night at Jake's house last night."

Anna's eyes widened. "What? How dare you!" she cried.

"Anna, I know you did."

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you stalking me?"

Shawn shook his head. "Of course not. I'm just psychic. That, and you're wearing his deoderant. You smell exactly like him."

Anna gasped and slapped him, then turned on her heel and stormed away.

Shawn watched her go, rubbing his cheek and wondering what he did wrong this time.

4:

Shawn pressed his lips against Gracie's. He'd never kissed before, and he wasn't quite sure what to do. But it felt right. He pulled away and smiled. Gracie smiled too, and went in for another kiss. Shawn wrapped his arms around her this time.

The door burst open. "What is going on?"

Shawn and Gracie pulled apart, looking up in surprise.

"Dad! What are you doing home? You said you were working late!"

Gracie glared at Shawn. "You told me your dad was out of town!" she cried, snatching up her sweater and standing up. "Excuse me, Mr. Spencer, I have to get home," she mumbled, pushing past him and out.

"You are in a lot of trouble, Shawn. A lot of trouble. I will not have you bringing girls into your bedroom!"

Shawn set his jaw and sighed loudly, bracing himself for yet another of Dad's lectures.

5:

"Christie, wait up!" Shawn called, jogging to catch up with the blonde beauty.

She turned around, her hair swishing as she did. "What, Shawn?"

"I, uh, I have a question..."

Christie raised an eyebrow.

"Will you go to prom with me?"

"Oh! I'm sorry. I already have someone."

Shawn frowned. "No, you don't. I went out of my way to find the girls who hadn't been asked yet. Then, I narrowed it down to who would be least likely to be asked by the time prom night rolled around.'

Christie made an indignant noise. "How dare you!" she cried.

"What?" Shawn protested.

"For your information, I did get asked! By that geeky friend of yours! And I said yes!" she snapped, before slapping Shawn, turning on her heel, and storming away.