We are all a little weird and
Life's a little weird,
And when we find someone whose
Weirdness is compatible with ours,
We join up with them and fall in
Mutual weirdness and call it Love.
~ Dr. Seuss
"I said, look at the baby in the top left hand corner."
"Oh, sorry. I was having a staring competition with the third baby in the bottom row. And you made me lose, Angela," Edward added teasingly. "Thanks a lot."
Angela laughed. "Sorry."
"Are you sure it's okay for us to be here?" Bella stated suddenly. "Isn't this area only supposed to be for parents and close family or something?"
"Bella, it's fine," Edward replied. He was hugging her from behind, and he squeezed her gently. "Carlisle said we could wait for him to get to the hospital while Esme slept."
"Yeah, calm your tits, Bella," Angela added with a scoff. "Plus, your boyfriend made quite the impression on the ladies at the reception desk. With his piercings and tattoos and leather jacket and tight –"
"Okay. Thanks, Ang," Bella muttered. Angela snickered and Edward kissed the top of her head reassuringly.
Edward, Bella and Angela were in the maternity ward at the hospital, in the baby viewing area. Angela was in L.A for the weekend for a three-day conference as a representative of the school, Bella's previous place of work. It was a Sunday afternoon and Angela was about to have dinner with Edward and Bella when they decided to go see Esme and Carlisle's newborn baby for the first time. They were early; Carlisle had left to go home and shower and Esme was resting.
"And anyway," Angela continued. "If anyone should feel weird about being here, it's me. I don't even know these people, and I'm crashing in on your baby viewing."
It was Bella's turn to reassure Angela. "Esme and Carlisle won't mind. Just, you know," Bella added, looking at Angela sideways. "Make sure you behave yourself."
"Behave myself?" Angela repeated in amusement, giving Bella a pointed look. "Well, excuse me Doctor Swan. Need I remind you who you used to work for?"
"Yeah, used to," Bella shot back with a mocking sneer. "It's not like I need a reason to be nice to you now."
"If you ladies want to continue this fight without shirts on, that's fine by me," Edward chimed in. "Just give me a minute to go get some Jell-O."
"Shouldn't take you long in this place," Bella joked and Angela snorted.
"So. Out of all these babies," Edward began, resting his chin on Bella's shoulder. "Which do you think is the least cutest?"
"What kind of question is that? All babies are cute," Angela told him. But after a moments pause, she added, "but that baby in the third row, fourth down from the top, with the nose? Wow, what an unfortunate childhood that kid is gonna have."
"Uh, Ang," Bella said hesitatingly. "That's Esme and Carlisle's baby."
"Oh God. Are you serious?" Angela questioned meekly. Both Edward and Bella nodded, grimacing slightly. "Shit. Please don't tell them I said that," she begged. "That was really awful of me to say, and its nose isn't really that bad –"
"Just kidding!" Bella cut in brightly. "That's not their baby."
"Yeah," Edward added. "My cousin's baby is the one in the last row, second one from the bottom."
"Son of a bitch," Angela muttered as Edward and Bella laughed. "Go get lots of plastic surgery work and die!"
"What?" Edward prompted her, amused and Bella snorted.
"I don't know. You live in L.A," Angela muttered. "Everyone is so plastic and fake here."
Edward and Bella laughed, Edward burying his face in Bella's neck to muffle his laughter. His lips pressed against her neck, and she squirmed, giggling. But then she jerked and let out a low shriek.
"Ugh, just get a room already," Angela stated in exasperation, rolling her eyes.
"No." Bella stepped away from Edward and shivered, laughing lightly. "Edward's phone vibrated against my back."
"Carlisle just got here," Edward announced, reading off his phone. "He said that it's okay for us to go up and see Esme now."
"Great, let's go," Bella said excitedly. She picked up the huge bouquet of flowers at her feet and pushed it into Edward's hands.
Angela sniggered at the look on his face. "Just remember that you really love her. It'll make things easier," she told him teasingly.
"Yeah," Edward sighed, shifting the arrangement so he could see in front of him as he walked.
"Oh. It's a….duck?"
"Be glad she chose the duck," Edward said under his breath to Carlisle, setting the flowers on the side table in the hospital room. "There was a bumblebee twice this size in the store that Bella wanted to get for you guys."
"Bigger than this?" Carlisle eyed the bright yellow duck dubiously. It was huge, about the size of a stereo system. It had flowers on its back and a 'Congratulations!' balloon stuck in its side.
"Yes," Edward emphasized with a nod. "It took me twenty minutes to convince her not to spend eight hundred dollars on a bumblebee flower arrangement and pointed out the duck as a compromise. What is my life?" he muttered and Carlisle laughed, clapping him on the back.
They turned back to the ladies, where Bella had just finished introducing Angela to Esme.
"How are you feeling?" Bella asked her. She and Angela were standing by the baby's crib, the nurse having just brought him in from the viewing room.
"I'm good," Esme replied, with a small smile, shifting slightly. "A little tired and the stiches are starting to irritate me. But I'm okay."
"How much does he weigh?" Angela asked.
"Seven pounds, four ounces," Carlisle answered, sitting next to Esme on the bed.
"I have no idea whether or not that's a good weight," Angela admitted with a shrug. "I've just heard people ask that about newborn babies, so I thought I would too."
Everyone laughed but then fell silent as the baby stirred slightly, but remained asleep.
"He is so beautiful you guys, oh my God," Bella gushed.
"You can hold him if you like," Esme told her.
"I don't know. He might kill me with his cuteness," Bella joked but picked the baby up carefully anyway. "Hey, handsome," she cooed when the baby fussed a little as Bella maneuvered him in her arms. She sat down on the couch in the room, and Edward moved to sit next to her. "His cheeks are so squooshy!" she added, gushingly, running a thumb over his cheek. "I could just eat him up!"
"He's not one of those chocolate babies, Bella. He's the real deal," Edward teased and Bella clicked her tongue at him, but kept her eyes on the baby. "Hey, little man." Edward leaned over, touching the baby's hand. The baby curled his tiny fingers around Edward's finger, holding it there.
"Gah, okay. I'm dead. It's killed me," Bella declared and Edward laughed, shaking the baby's hand gently. "This kid is going to be such a life ruiner for me, I swear."
"Any plans for a baby in your guys' future?" Esme asked.
Bella and Edward both gaped openly at Esme for a moment before answering her.
"Us? With one of these?" Bella responded incredulously, glancing at the baby. "No. Absolutely not. No way –"
"Yeah, never gonna happen," Edward chimed in, shaking his head. "No, no and no. Nope. Nah uh –"
"So, that's no, then?" Carlisle asked in amusement and everyone laughed.
"Have you chosen a name yet?" Angela questioned. She sat in a chair in between the hospital bed with Esme and Carlisle and Edward and Bella on the couch.
"We were thinking of Hugsy," Esme stated and frowned mockingly. "But that's already taken."
"You guys can have that name if you want," Edward told them seriously.
"No! That's our name," Bella said defensively and everyone chuckled with Edward rolling his eyes. "You can name your kid something like that though. Like…Hugglalump."
"Why are you the worst in naming things?" Edward questioned. "Why? I don't get it."
Bella ignored him. "Or Huggy Bear. Yeah! You should totally call him Huggy Bear!"
Everyone laughed and Carlisle tested it out. "Huggy Bear Cullen."
"We'll add it to the list," Esme joked.
"Well, if you choose not to go with it, I'll call him that." Bella glanced down at the baby and put on a voice. "Wittle Huggy Bwear Cullen."
Edward winced. "Oh God. It's the cute-sy voice. I hate that voice," he muttered.
"We're your Aunty Bwella and Uncle Edward. And we wuv yew! Yes we do!"
"I'm breaking up with you," Edward muttered.
Angela, Esme and Carlisle started talking amongst themselves while Edward and Bella kept their attention on the baby. Bella shifted the baby in her arms so that he was sitting directly in front of her.
"Okay, so," she began. "Because we're your aunt and uncle, it means that if you ever need anything, you can come to us. For example, if your parents say you can't have anymore chocolate – we'll have some for you."
"Right," Edward agreed. "And that's not just limited to chocolate. If you ever want more ice cream or a doughnut or a brownie or whatever - we'll give it you. I mean, you might have to fight me for it," he added and Bella laughed. "But if you catch me on a good day, I might give it to you."
"And if you're having trouble at school, maybe with school work or people are being mean to you," Bella said softly, adjusting the baby's blue knit cap on its head. "We'll be here if you need someone to talk to."
"Yeah, and if there's a hot girl in your class that you need advice on." Edward tapped his chest. "You can come to me for that."
"No, don't go to him. He's an idiot," Bella told the baby and Edward scoffed. "You need girl advice, you come to me."
"Yeah, okay. We'll see who he goes to," Edward remarked coolly. Bella rolled her eyes, and he continued talking to the baby. "And if you ever need to sneak out of the house to go see a band in concert that your parents won't let you see or sneak out and meet up with a girl, we'll help cover for you."
Bella glanced at Edward, giving him a pointed look. "We will?"
"Okay," Edward said and then amended it. "Bella and I will go away and discuss that point further and get back to you on a later date."
Bella laughed and glanced back at the baby. "And when you're old enough, we'll take you to see a Lakers game, and we'll let you eat as many hotdogs as you want."
"You mean, we'll take him to see a Dodgers game and let him eat as many hotdogs as he wants," Edward corrected her with a laugh.
"No," Bella said slowly. "I said we'll take him to a Lakers game. Why would we take him to see the Dodgers play?"
"Why would we take him to see the Lakers play?" Edward retorted.
"We're not taking him to see the Dodgers," Bella argued. "Because baseball is stupid. All you do is a hit a ball and stand around eating sunflower seeds. How exciting," she said dryly.
Edward bristled. "It is exciting. You try hitting a ball at nighty eight miles an hour. Baseball is about planning and strategy –"
"Yes, I know all about the strategy of baseball," Bella cut in mockingly. "It only took you about three hours to explain it to me. And what a very riveting three hours that was."
Edward narrowed his eyes at Bella. "We're not getting him into basketball."
"We're not getting him into baseball," Bella countered back in a low voice.
"Yes, we are."
"No, we're not."
"Hey, if you guys ever need parenting practice," Angela told Esme and Carlisle. "You know who to turn to." She nodded at Edward and Bella, who continued bickering.
Esme and Carlisle laughed. "Yeah, them freaking out about having a baby is making a bit more sense now," Carlisle noted in amusement.
"Now that I think about it, I can't really see Edward and Bella having kids of their own," Esme mused. "I mean, they're really great and nice people. But together, they can be….it's like they're…" she trailed off, trying to think of the right words.
"Like they're in a couple bubble?" Angela prompted.
"Yes, exactly. In a couple bubble," Esme agreed with a firm nod and Carlisle hummed in agreement too. Edward and Bella had moved on from their argument with Bella now telling Edward to take out his phone so she could have some photos with the baby.
"They really are cute together though," Esme said, smiling as Edward held his phone out at arms length, taking a photo of the three of them.
"Oh yeah, definitely," Angela agreed. "Like today, when they picked me up from my hotel, and we were walking to their car," she began telling Esme and Carlisle. "I noticed that Edward made sure he walked on the street side of the footpath and that Bella was on the inside beside him."
"Really? That is so sweet," Esme said gushingly. "And very old school chivalry. I remember my grandfather doing that for my grandmother when he was alive."
Carlisle snorted. "Wow. I had no idea Edward was a ninety year old man."
"You guys know we're sitting here and can hear you, right?" Bella piped up, giving Esme, Angela, and Carlisle a wry glance. "It's not like you guys are in a cone of silence."
"Yeah, and I'm not ninety years old because that walking street side thing is not really chivalry," Edward said to them. "It's just me keeping Bella safe from her sworn enemies – the bus system."
"I hate you," Bella muttered, scowling.
Edward grinned and bumped her shoulder. It jolted Bella's arm, causing the sleeping baby in her arms to move slightly. Edward and Bella froze as the baby's face screwed up. It took a moment of him squirming and fussing before he opened his mouth and let out a loud wail.
"Edward! Look what you did," Bella admonished, shifting the crying baby.
"Me? What did I do?" Edward stated with wide eyes. "He's probably just upset because he heard that you wanted to take him to a Lakers game."
"Or maybe he's just hungry," Esme said teasingly, gesturing to Bella.
Bella shot Edward a dirty look before passing the baby to Esme and a nurse came in to help her. Edward, Bella and Angela took it as their cue to leave. Goodbyes were called over the baby's cries that had now reached shrieking level, and Esme and Carlisle invited Bella over to see the baby again once they get home.
"Did you hear that?" Bella said to Edward, the three of them now waiting for the elevator to arrive. "They said we could go visit them! You know what that means?"
"Yeah," Edward replied, taking out his phone. "It means I have to make more memory in my phone so you can take five hundred photos of the baby."
"No, not that. But that's a good idea, actually," she added and then shook her head. "No, what I meant was going back to that gift shop so we can buy the bumblebee for them!" she declared happily.
"Ah, shit," Edward muttered as Angela laughed loudly.
"What would you give me if I get this jellybean in your cleavage?"
Edward threw the red jellybean anyway but it missed, hitting Bella on the arm.
"Damn," Edward muttered and fished out another jellybean, trying again.
"Ah! Will you stop?" Bella remarked in frustration, as the jellybean hit the cabinet next to her and landed on the countertop. She picked it up, and threw it back at him. He caught it one-handed and ate it. "You're making a mess, and if Hugsy comes in and eats one, it won't be good."
Edward and Bella were back in their home now and it was late, nearly midnight. They had just finished having dinner with Angela and were about to go to bed.
"It's fine. He can have them," Edward said, popping a few beans into his mouth. "It's not like they're chocolate."
"No, but they are made from synthetic dyes and are full of sugar," Bella retorted, patting Jeggings the hamster as she changed the water in his cage. "Not good for dogs."
Edward grinned in response and whistled. "Hug! Come here, boy."
"What are you doing?" Bella demanded. The Border Collie scampered into the kitchen, his paws skittering across the floorboards. "No. Don't give him any jellybeans, Edward," she added quickly.
"I just wanna see what happens," Edward told her, tipping the packet of jellybeans into his hand. He crouched down and held out his palm to the dog. "Hey boy, you wanna try something?"
"No, Hugsy. Don't," Bella said sharply as Hugsy approached Edward cautiously.
"Don't listen to her," Edward said to him, as Hugsy glanced at Bella. "If you want to eat some jellybeans, you should decide for yourself."
"You're an idiot," Bella told Edward, laughing, moving toward them. She picked up Hugsy and hugged him. "Hugsy, go to sleep."
Edward sighed as she put him down, and Hugsy walked off toward his dog bed in the corner of the kitchen. "You're no fun, Doctor Swan," he said and threw the jellybeans meant for Hugsy at her body instead.
Bella bristled and snatched the packet out of Edward's hand. She hurled it across the kitchen, and it landed with a thump next to their microwave.
"Well, that was unnecessary," Edward muttered, staring at the packet.
"Don't throw jellybeans at me," Bella told him and pummeled his chest. Edward blocked her and she let out a shriek as he picked her up and sat her on the counter.
"I was only looking for something to eat off Barnes and Noble," Edward said, his face buried in her chest.
Bella groaned and shook her head. "No. God, that's awful."
"What? I've eaten stuff off you before. I didn't hear you complaining when I was eating fudge off you last week."
"Not that," Bella remarked in exasperation. She slid her hands in his hair and moved his face up to hers. "'Barnes and Noble'. Really? And I'm the one that sucks at giving names? Also, we're not doing that fudge thing again," she added, grimacing. "That got really messy."
"It was fun though," Edward teased, kissing her long and slow.
"Hey, idiot. I love you," Bella said when they separated.
Edward kissed her forehead, inhaling her citrus shampoo. "Love you more."
"How much more?" Bella asked teasingly.
"Um…enough to drink a glass of fat for you," Edward replied and he turned around, bending over slightly. Bella wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned against his back, her feet kicking in the air as he walked.
Bella laughed and switched off the kitchen light as they passed it. "Wow. I think that's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me."
"Oh, I have way more romantic one liners than that," Edward said, going upstairs, past the kissing photograph by MayMay Platt that hung against the wall on their staircase.
"I know you do," Bella said with a sigh, switching more lights off as they went. "I haven't heard any of them in a while. But god, they were so silly and corny–"
"You are my sunshine on a rainy day."
"What? No." Bella tugged on his ear. "Just because I said 'I haven't heard any in a while' doesn't mean I want to."
"Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?"
"Well, that's more of a pick-up line. A bad one at that."
"You're a whole lot of lovely."
Bella opened her mouth to protest but then hesitated. "Okay. That one is kinda nice," she admitted reluctantly and then added quickly, "but that still doesn't mean –"
"I will love you till apples grow on mango trees on the thirtieth of February."
Bella sighed. "And now you're back to being stupid."
Now in their bedroom, Edward stood with their bed to his back and Bella let go of him, standing on it. "All right," he said, turning around to face her. "I've got a line that you'll like."
"Doubtful," Bella replied, bouncing lightly up and down on the bed.
"If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase. That way I could unzip your genes."
"Holy shit." Bella stopped bouncing and stared at him. "That line was science related."
"I know," Edward responded, looking smug. "How awesome am I?"
"How do you do that?"
"What, be awesome?"
"No," Bella emphasized and thumped his chest. "All the time I think I can never love you more than I already do. And then you do something or say something, and I love you more than ever. Like just now. Like now, with the science line. How is it possible? How can you love someone more and more and at the same time, all the time, love them as much as it's possible to love someone?"
Edward frowned. "Is that…a rhetorical question?"
"I'm just saying that – you know, it's just –" Bella cut off, exhaling. She shrugged. "I don't know what I'm saying."
"Your mom rang this morning," Edward stated suddenly. "And do you know what she said to me?"
"Wow. Could you be anymore random?"
"Nice," Edward said appreciatively and they fist bumped. "Anyway," he continued. "When I answered, Renee said, 'Wow, you're still together?'"
Bella scowled. "God, Renee can be such a motherfu –"
"I like that," Edward interjected and laughed at Bella's flat expression. "I like that people are surprised that we're still together. I like that we're the couple that were friends and became something more. I like that we actually work being together, even though we shouldn't. I like that we're that 'weird' couple."
"What?" Bella said, indignant. "We are not a weird couple."
"Uh, yeah. We are," he replied pointedly.
"Prove it," she demanded stubbornly.
Edward let out a small sigh. Bella had her hair down, with a section pulled back, and he reached out and unpinned it.
"We're Edward and Bella. Bella and Edward," he started saying, trailing his fingers over her collarbones, into the hollow of her throat. "We're the couple that aren't married and live in a five bedroom house and have a dog and a hamster instead of kids of our own. We're the couple that slow dances on our back porch when it rains. We're the couple that if we're walking someplace and you complain about your shoes hurting your feet, I give you my own shoes to wear and walk around in my socks."
Bella's eyes were wide and her voice was unsteady. "I did think that was a little weird when you did that. I was just expecting you to carry me on your back."
Edward's arms went around her waist, and he moved close and kissed her eyelids. Each one, lightly. His mouth moved to her left temple, her cheek, her neck. Bella willed her lips to be patient and inhaled and exhaled forcefully.
"I never want to stop falling in love with you, Bella." Edward's hands were on her neck, and he could feel her pulse beating in her throat. He moved his mouth across her jawline and felt it speed up. "And I want to be able to look beside me and have you next to me, anywhere life decides to take me. I love you so much."
As much as Bella was enjoying the buildup, the payoff always outweighed it. "Are you done?"
"Yeah. I'm done."
Bella buries her fingers in my hair and pulls my face to hers. We kiss in a way that's not too hard, but not gentle either.
We know exactly how we fit together. Her hands on my chest. My hands under her shirt, touching the skin of Bella's back, to the clasp unfastening, to the place on her rib cage where my hand rests for a moment as we kiss deeper.
We have each other memorized. Bella takes a step back on the bed and lifts her shirt over her head. She lets her bra slip over her shoulders. Bella unzips my jeans and unzips her own. Bella in nothing but blue green underwear and then in nothing at all.
And even though we know how we fit together, have each other memorized and have done this a million times, I still think she's beautiful. Always will.
We ease back onto the bed and her lips are everywhere. My neck, the inside of my elbow, the bottom of my ribcage. I brush her hair over her shoulder, watching her kiss her way back to my mouth.
She straddles me and then there's this pause. She looks into my face, and I want to say something. But I feel like words aren't enough for what this is. What we have.
Maybe it's cliché as fuck, but I don't care. Because more than anything, all I have ever wanted is to be close to someone. More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to feel as if I wasn't alone.
Then she's moving above me. Arching her back. Breathing hard. Watching my face. I know exactly how and where to kiss and touch her. She sighs and I feel her muscles tense and relax in response.
I put my hands on Bella's hips and flip our positions. She smooths her hands down my back, arching her own, pressing into me. My lips slide down her neck, down her throat, and I press my face against her chest.
Everything I give, she returns. Again. And again. And again. Until we're both breathless and tangled against the pillows. We draw away from each other only for a moment before we're close again under the sheet.
Bella's head is on my arm. Her leg is thrown over my leg. I trace the ridgeline of her ribcage, her hip, her thigh. She props herself up and kisses me. When I kiss her back, it feels important. It feels like life.
She rests her head back down on my arm and lying here right now, after everything, I fall in love with her again.
Because it was always supposed to be me and Bella.
So, the reason for this outtake is two fold:
One: I know authors say this often about their readers, but I really do have the best readers ever. Posting this was my way of saying thank you, thank you, thank you for being great and supportive about everything to do with this fic.
Two: I noticed that some people weren't really happy with the epilogue. So I hope this outtake was more enjoyable for them. If not, sorry I guess?
Thanks to ExquisiteEdward and souplover9 for their beta thoughts on this. And your still my number one, Soupy Sep :)
I do have a new fic that I'll start posting from next week. It's called Empty. It's more on the serious side than Like Crazy was but I still hope people will be interested in reading it :)
To everyone that ever alerted, favourited, reviewed this fic - you're all personal life ruiners in my eyes.