My first real fanfic~! Yay. Too bad hardly anyone knows what Resonance of fate is. OTL|||
How could that one word summarize my entire existence? Of course, I wanted nothing more than to put myself to rest.
Why did I have to live while they died?
There couldn't be a God. If there was, he was much too cruel to the world. I shouldn't have lived at all after being shot in the head twice.
I adjusted my position on the single chair in my dull room, moving so the unusually bright sun stopped blinding me. I preferred the dark, but that might have been because of my enhanced abilities. The light just tended to hurt my eyes, resulting in my constant bad mood.
Today was the anniversary of not only the day I met Vashyron, but the day I lost control of myself. He was my executioner, while I played the part of the guilty.
I had to admit he was braver than I first thought. After my death was postponed, he willingly took me in, knowing all too well what I was, and what I had done.
Even now, I was still adjusting. I had hardly gotten used to living with someone who wasn't set on preaching about God every minute when Leanne showed up.
At first I was rather upset about the fact she followed me home, but now it only seemed natural for her to be living with us.
I stood, my knees groaning in pain from sitting too long. I stretched and shrugged on my usual red jacket, making my way downstairs.
My boots made hardly any noise against the metal steps, my body light and agile. I tended to scare more than one person by accidentally sneaking up on them.
Leanne sat with her back to me, my presence causing her to hunch over slightly. I pretended not to notice.
"Why didn't you wake me? It's past noon," I knew well enough where they were.
"Where's my breakfast?"
Leanne stood quickly, her hand slapping the back of my head. I always jerked my head just before she hit me so she wouldn't be injured.
I sat quickly, not making eye contact.
Leanne was the last person I wanted to know about what I had done.
I never returned to the Seminary. Merely walking around Crank Town was bad enough. Did those people have nothing better to talk about than the 'Bedevilled Boy'?
"Here," Leanne dropped a plate of eggs and toast in front of me.
I glanced up, noticing she wasn't making eye contact either.
Why did Vashyron have to bring her there? She probably thought of me as a monster now.
For the first time in ages, the three of us sad around not saying a word. It was obvious Leanne just wanted to pretend she didn't know anything, but I had observed her enough her real thoughts.
Vashyron stood slowly, glancing at me. I was grateful he never asked what caused me to kill all those people back then.
"Well, not making money sitting around here. I'll be back in a few hours,"
I was about to protest, not wanting to be left alone with Leanne, but said nothing. I stood as well, retreating upstairs. I didn't even have to look to know who was following.
"Go away, Leanne," I growled harsher than I intended.
She hesitated, but grabbed my arm.
"I-I saw what you did, Zephyr. To the Seminary, I mean." Her voice shook.
She was scared.
I jerked out of her grip.
"I'm not scared of you,"
"Liar," I hissed. "you know I'm a monster, what I've done…"
I slammed my door in her face.
I wanted nothing more than for the past to just disappear. Why did it have to happen? Why was I so mentally unstable?
I kicked the wall out of frustration, fragments falling down. Distancing myself from Leanne was best right now. She was my reason for living, and harming her wouldn't make me feel any better, accidental or not.
"Zephyr! Open up!"
"Go away, Leanne." I dropped onto my bed, kicking off my heavy boots.
For a while there was silence. I closed my eyes, memories floating past. Some were hazy, others crystal clear. I started to drift off, slumber catching up to me.
My eyes flickered open, leaving me to believe it was morning for a moment. Being able to see in the dark had its disadvantages when it came to waking up. It always took a moment or two for me to figure out what time of day it was.
My stomach growled, hungry from missing dinner. I sighed and shrugged on a sweater, the cold biting at my bare skin.
I grabbed the cold metal door and yanked it open, a yawn escaping my mouth.
I was startled to see Leanne sleeping peacefully just outside my door.
"Idiot, you'll catch a cold again." I muttered harshly, although the idea of taking care of her again was nice.
I tapped her cheek gently, but she still didn't move. Her skin was ice cold, but I was hardly surprised. Her PJs weren't exactly warm looking.
I scooped her up, trying to be careful. I never knew when my strength would be too much. More than once things have broken because I wasn't careful enough. Mix that with my anger issues and it resulted in chaos most of the time.
I placed Leanne on my still warm bed and tucked her in, wrapping the blankets around her tightly.
It was weird having her sleep in my bed. She had only ever come into my room one other time, and that was because I had woken up screaming after having reliving the Seminary incident. She comforted me for a while, and left after I fell asleep again.
I watched her sleep, thinking how stupid I've been. I wanted Leanne to be happy, but I kept messing up, making her sad.
I plopped into the single chair, rubbing my eyes. I was tired still and thought about sharing my bed with her, but that was too embarrassing. She seemed to be teasing me more and more lately, and this would just add to it.
I wasn't sure if she knew how flustered I got around her. Vashyron seemed to enjoy making fun of me for being in love love while Leanne wasn't around.
How could someone like me even be capable of that? I was unstable and messed in the head. I didn't even think I could love.
Even if I did love Leanne, what did it matter? She was older than I was, and probably thought of me as a brother more than anything.
I looked up at a sudden noise.
"Zephyr…?" Leanne sat up and rubbed her eyes.
She looked around, confused.
"You fell asleep outside," I explained.
"Thank you," Leanne pulled back the blankets and hopped to her feet. She whimpered slightly as her skin made contact with the cold floor.
"You might as well sleep here. It'll be morning soon anyway," I looked outside, refusing to make eye contact.
She giggled, making my face turn a faint red.
"Okay. You should sleep too," She crawled back into my bed, and patted beside her.
I stared, hesitating.
I took a step forward, followed by another. I crawled under the blanket, moving slow as possible. This was just ridiculous. My bed was too small to fit two people, but did she really have to snuggle this close?
I clamped my eyes shut, embarrassed.
"Zephyr? I…I don't hate you. Or think you're a monster…"
I could tell she wasn't lying.