Just before I read on, I did not set out originally to make this story what it is. It just kind of happen. I can understand if you think this fanfiction is seriously weird (I'm sure I do), but I hope at least you can appreciate it and at least partially enjoy it.

Blood Red (Part 1)

There were advantages of having such a sweet, silly mother. No matter how many times you threw your pink dresses out of the window, or aimed and fired slingshots at people who stuck out their tongues at you, you would always be forgiven and unconditionally loved by your mother. That is, if you mother was Queen Snow White and you were her only daughter, Blood Red.

Even Blood Red was not quite sure how she had turned out the way she had. She had made a theory about it though. She was determined to think that every girl's life took one of two paths. Either you became exactly like your mother, or you became exactly not like your mother. Both Snow White and her daughter had turned out to be vastly different from the women who mothered them, although, while the Evil Queen who had looked after Snow White had been evil, Blood Red was simply boyish, naughty and rebellious.

She was described as being the strongest, most boyish twelve-year old in the land and many people thought out loud that she should have been named "Fire Red," rather than "Blood Red," for her fiery temper and manner. Luckily, though she was far from the most lady-like princess that had ever been, Blood Red was not nasty or horrible and she was always very polite and respectful to her mother and father.

However, Blood Red often felt irritated with her parents. She could never talk about her battle plans or weapon designs to her mother and she could not even talk about them with her father, who seemed uninterested about battles and tactics, much preferring to sit on his throne all day and talk about boring laws and taxes. Boring, boring, BORING, Blood Red thought and sought entertainment alone.

Right now, she was planning to escape out of the castle. There were enough ways to do it and it was more fun trying to actually think of a hard way to escape, than trying to think of a good way to escape. Blood Red had already tried and succeeded with the mattress and the garden wall routine; she had tried and managed, just, to slip out of the crowd when her family were going on parade and she had then struck on a brighter idea. She decided she would dress up as an old man and pretend to have a mysterious and strange object: a watch that could turn beavers to gold. OK, maybe it had been done before, but it was still original and Blood Red knew she could play a very convincing old man. To Blood Red's delight, once "he" had presented himself and "his treasure" to the King and Queen, she was kicked out of the castle, as even Snow White found "him" a little much too handle and then she, or rather "he", had managed to travel out of the city on a horse-drawn cab and see the countryside, where the farmers toiled hard to plough the fields and the air stank of manure, not totally different from the stink of pee and food waste in the city, to be honest. Eventually Blood Red became bored and missed her feather bed, so she ended up changing her disguise and she gave herself up, travelling on another horse-drawn cab back to the city, to the waiting arms of her mother and father. Of course, she was told off a little, particularly by her father, but they did not remain angry for long.

Now, though, Blood Red had a new plan up her itchy, puffy sleeves knitted by magical fairies who just lurve you little princess SO MUCH, as her mother put it. Again, the plan involved changing her clothes, but this time, Blood Red would disguise herself as a serving boy, as doing a young boy's voice was much less painful than doing an old man's voice for long periods on end. She then planned to find a group of people she had heard rumours about, when she had eavesdropped beside the door of the kitchens where her voluptuous dinners were prepared. These people were: the ninjas. Apparently, they were the most terrifying, but amazing people in the land. They crept up on people, stole, murdered, whatever was necessary to keep them alive. They had a special routine, a way of life and apparently, you could lead a double life with one of them being in the ways of a ninja. Blood Red was very keen on the idea of having a double life and it sounded glorious to be a part-time ninja. She loved creeping after people, leaping down from great heights and threatening people to get her to do what she wanted. She was not quite sure she was ready to kill yet, but she considered they might have special allowances for female ninjas. Anyhow, there was only one way to find out and that was try to meet them.

As Blood Red could sew and knit her own clothes from material imported in from outside the palace, she had managed to create a serfit of boy's outfits, all tucked safely away in the back of her wardrobe where no-one would see them. She simply slipped off her dress (slipped being the operative word, more wriggled and stretched) and changed into her boy's outfit (which was considerably looser and more comfortable). Her hair was still quite short from her last escapade, but she snipped off a little more just in case and browned up her cheeks with a case of mud she kept in one the drawers of her bed-side table. Blood Red then peered outside her room, to make sure no-one was there and she ran out a top speed down to the servant's quarters.

She knew that today, her mother and father would be meeting a new servant, a young lad of about her age. This boy would be going up to meet Queen Snow White and the King very soon, all Blood Red needed to do was to give him some coins to make him go away and she could take his place. Her father and mother had no idea what this boy looked like, so they would be none the wiser.

The plan had gone well so far. The boy had taken the money eagerly, Blood Red's parents would have realized he was too dodgy to be a worthy servant anyway, if they had actually met him. She too made herself out to be very dodgy and totally unrecognizable as their daughter. They were so well fooled, that Blood Red had to stop herself from girlishly laughing. She was sent out by one of the Royal Guard to town, where she could go from there on her own and find the ninjas.

Blood Red was very interested in map-reading and geography and had memorized almost all of the streets, alleyways and main buildings of this city off by heart, so she had a good idea of where she should go. Even if she could not find them by herself, there would be contacts.

Once Blood Red had made her way to a sleazy, crime-ridden, depressed part of town, however, her plan did not go as she had thought it would. A witch, trying to sell some of her potions, dragged Blood Red over to her stall and offered all her lovely boiled newts' liver candies and diced mouse droppings to help ease the pain of the common cold. Still pretending to be a boy, Blood Red declined,

"No thanks Ma'am, I'm on my way to…" She leant over sneakily into the old hag's ear. "Meet the ninjas," Blood Red whispered cunningly, hoping this possibly dangerous woman would be able to help her search.

"Didn't catch a word o' that, young whelp, that ear's all deaf. Try this one." The woman cocked her head so Blood Red could lean down and speak into the woman's other wrinkled, raisin-like ear.

"Meet the ninjas." Blood Red stood up straight to see the woman's expression. She seemed none the wiser. "Never 'eard of them, young man," she replied quickly. "Want to buy some cat-brain stuffed peppers?" she then asked, holding up a jar optimistically.

"I'm sorry, I said no thank you." Blood Red was just about to turn away, when the old woman grabbed her again and whispered in her ear,

"What about a time machine gadget?"

"A TIME MACHINE?" Blood Red shouted incredulously, nearly betraying her female identity.

"Hush HUSH!" the witch hurriedly snapped, slapping Blood Red on the cheek. As Blood Red had never been slapped in her life, she was momentarily deeply insulted and in great pain, but was smart enough to keep her spoilt, rich background undercover. Blood Red then raised an eyebrow at the woman, encouraging her to explain further.

"It will be able to send you back or forward in time… Haha, any time you want, my dear…" Out of her stinking, shadow-black jacket she took out a small, purple wooden box. With hands shaking with excitement, she presented it to the "young man", who took it with an air of disappointment.

"How does it work?" Blood Red asked, much more silent this time.

"You open the box, then, you can press little buttons that give you the date and rough place of where you want to go. But – ah – be careful, the last button you must press, before you go travelling through time, must be the button with the letter "M" on it.

"What does the letter "M", mean?" questioned Blood Red.

"It's means, "me", my dear lad. There will be a button saying "SE", which means "someone else" and there will be a button saying "MAWEIAT", which means, "me and whoever else I am touching.""

"That's all very complicated," scoffed Blood Red, enjoying her boyish role considerably more.

"Well magic is never uncomplicated, is it?" the old hag muttered crossly. "There's always some catch. How did you think our Queen managed to survive, eh? Because there's always an antidote to the poison, there's always a hidden flaw if you cast a spell. Besides, it makes life more exciting if you have complication, does it not, hmm?"

It freaked Blood Red out slightly that this woman had made a reference to her mother like that. She may not have adored Snow White, but she was very glad that Snow White had not really been killed by that poisoned apple, otherwise, Blood Red would never have been born and had the life she had had. Blood Red soon pushed these thoughts out of her mind and slowly, opened the box.

There was indeed, as the hag had described, a complicated array of buttons, each having on them numbers or letters. The process was easy enough for a young mind to work out. First you had to press the buttons for the time of day you wanted to travel to. Then, you selected the year, the month and the day itself. Then you had to press as many letters as you needed to spell out the name of the place you wanted to go to, or it could give you a "random," symbolised by the letter "R," as the witch explained. Then, finally, you were able to select "M", "SE", or "MAWEIAT." To make absolutely sure that it did work, Blood Red selected a time period of two minutes into the future, in this location, so both she and the witch could tell if she had disappeared for two minutes. Blood Red then selected: "M." Or she thought she had.

When nothing seemed to happen and Blood Red seemed to be exactly where she was a moment ago, Blood Red realized she had not looked properly as she had been pressing the "SE" button.

"You little fool!" the witch cried as Blood Red announced her mistake. The wrinkled woman was about to slap Blood Red again, before she withheld herself and smiled. "But, aha, you have been very clever, you little young man."

"How?" Blood Red asked, stumped.

"You asked the time machine to send you two minutes into the future. We'll just have to wait around for two minutes and then a complete stranger will appear! Then, we can send him or her back to his or her home and you can go wherever you want."

Blood Red nodded, understanding. She was extremely glad she had decided to do this little time travel test before actually starting to properly time travel. "While we wait, why don't I pay you?" Blood Red asked, feeling generous.

"Ah, but you don't know whether it's going to work or not," the ancient hag winked. Blood Red nodded, but she was very impatient. By now she could have been on her way to seeking out the ninjas. This whole deal was probably just a whole scam so this manipulative magic woman could force her to buy some fried bat spleens.

Two minutes seemed to take forever, but to Blood Red's immense surprise, at last, the validity of the old witch's claims were proven to be correct.

From behind them, they first heard and then saw a newcomer, the like of which they had never seen before. It was not clear at first whether this person was a human or not, he had light blue skin and unnaturally jagged black hair, for starters, but soon enough Blood Red and the old witch realized that this was a guy from… The future.

"Where am I? What is this? Last thing I remembered I was getting somewhere with Steph and now I'm stuck in the middle of some miserable alleyway!"

Blood Red, once she had overcome her shock at the miracle of time travel, walked over to the man and asked,

"Excuse me, what is your name, sir?"

"Oh, hello there. I am Freakazoid, wonderful superhero and saver of the planet from reasonably evil – I mean - very evil villains from innocent people. Why do you ask?"

"Because, you know you just appeared here out of nowhere?"

Freakazoid gave Blood Red a strange look. "Young man, are you saying I'm nuts? Just because I find myself suddenly in strange places I've never been in?" Freakazoid paused, looking at nowhere in particular to the side and then back to Blood Red again. "I'm sorry, you're right, I am nuts. Yes, why have I suddenly found myself here and where is here?"

"You are in the kingdom of Queen Snow White and her husband, the King," Blood Red explained, avoiding her father's name as subtly as possible. "I have accidentally sent you back in time, I believe. Where were you, last time you checked?"

"I was in 1998," replied Freakazoid. "At the new flat of my girlfriend…" Freakazoid's eyes went momentarily dreamy and then he suddenly realized the impact of Blood Red's words.

"I've UNWILLINGLY TRAVELLED BACK IN TIME? Do you realize what this means?" He clutched Blood Red's arms in a way that made her feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Er… No," she replied nervously.

"That this is TOTALLY AWESOME," replied Freakazoid. "Wait, did you accidentally send me here again?"

"Yes, that's what I've been trying to explain," Blood Red replied. "I'm very sorry to have inconvenienced you, but I was trying to travel forward into the future, two minutes into the future, to be exact, to test this time machine," she showed Freakazoid the purple box and he gazed at it like it was the Holy Grail.

"Wow," he grinned. "You sent me here thanks to a little BOX?"

"Yep," Blood Red announced proudly. Admittedly, this was the most incredible thing she had ever done. It beat creeping up on people and stealing their money, to be sure. "And now I can take you back."

Freakazoid looked angrily at Blood Red. "But why would I go BACK, when I could go anywhere I want? Why, I could go back to meet and stand on Napoleon, I could see when Regis Philbin was born!"

Blood Red blinked in confusion. "That must be all in the future for me. Well, I'd be happy to let you take yourself to see those people, as long as I can come with you."

"Fine, as long as you let me keep the box!" replied Freakazoid.

"I don't think so, I was just about to pay for it, you see this woman-." Blood Red gestured to the stall where the old woman had been selling her wares, but the stall and the old woman had gone.

"Urgh, darn witches," spat Blood Red. "Always sneaking off at the last minute. But wait... Why would she leave when she knew I could give her some money for it?" Blood Red tried to use her deductive powers, while Freakazoid scratched his head as his brain remained in a neutral state, impacted slightly by a desire for mints. Suddenly, it dawned on Blood Red.

When Blood Red had asked the witch about the ninjas, she had been very quick and determined in her negative answer. What if that was a lie and she was a ninja, or, what if she was an enemy of them? Maybe she had even stolen the time machine off a ninja and thought that the ninjas might be coming to get her.

"Quick, Freakazoid, tell me when and where you want to go. Hurry!"

"Why, what's wrong?" Freakazoid queried, shrugging.

"Just TELL ME!" Blood Red requested, her voice going to a dangerously high level.

"All right, er… Ten o' clock in the evening, 17th of June, 1815. Location: Where Napoleon Bonaparte is."

"That's not very clear! And how do you spell that?"

Freakazoid helped enthusiastically with spelling problems. Blood Red then asked,

"We need to be touching for us to go back in time together. Take my hand." Blood Red stretched out her palm in a surprisingly feminine manner. Freakazoid shrugged and took the hand, excited at what was about to happen. He was going to be able to squash Napoleon, less than twenty-four hours before the Battle of Waterloo and so save thousands of lives of worthy British and slightly less worthy French people without getting so much as a dirty foot.

More sure about the workings of the box this time, Blood Red pressed the button that said, "MAWEIAT."

At first, nothing happened, but then, both people began to feel a strange light-headedness, then see a bright light and then watch as everything faded momentarily, to black.