The Leyna ABC's
A is for Axe Mistakes
"GO GO GO! DAMMIT HOW COULD YOU MISS THAT!" I screamed throwing a handful of popcorn and licorice at the stollen flat screen in front of me. "Aw come on man don't make a mess it's the first time the cabin's been somewhat moderately clean," Travis said shoving me but he still watched the game intensley. Conner groaned from his bunk, "Let's watch something else this is so boring and really Leo a hispanic watching soccer...how typical," he said faking dissapointment and shaking his head. (A/n if your hispanic I don't mean to offend you or make it seem like i'm saying mexicans are the only ones who like soccer because i'm not i'm actually mexican so sorry if that offended you. But some guy at my school told me it was so typical that I was mexican and played soccer and I just wrote it down so sorry)Travis chuckled mumbling, "Oh your gonna get it," under his breath. But before conner could proccess or for that matter hear what Travis said I chucked a pillow at him so hard when it collided with the side of his face it made a loud 'THUMPP' and he fell head first onto the floor from the top bunk. "Come on man i'm more offended you didn't see that coming," I chuckled turning up the volume to drown out his loud moans.
"And we'll be right back after these commercials," the anouncer shouted into the microphone and winked at the retreating camera's.
3 minutes of commericals later...
"Man these commercials always take so long," I whined shoving mounds of m&m's into my mouth, "I know and at the best parts too," Travis agreed checking out Katie Gardner from were he sat next to the window. "Stop drooling Travis or i'm going to make you mop up the floor," Conner smirked adjusting the ice pack on his head and Travis glared at him. "Shut up conner before I tell Miranda that you looked through her underwear drawer," he countered which earned him the finger from Conner. I shook my head these two make me wish I had a biological brother sometimes. "You guys are so weird," I said turning my attention back to the commericals.
Cristiano Ronaldo was running down the field keeping the ball in perfect postion so no one could get it and he had a confident smirk on his face. The camera changed positions to a crowd of super hott girls with cropped shirts and holding signs saying, "GO RONALDO!" It changed back to Ronaldo aiming the ball about to make a goal when the wind blew lightly making his short hair move in the breeze and he stopped and looked up right at the camera's, "Oh no," he said. (A/N come on Ronaldo don't sound so suprised I doubt it's the first time it's happened ;))
The camera's went back to the girls who had once been cheering were now inhaling with a dreamy smile on their faces. Then they all opened their eyes at the same time to reveal a look of hunger as they charged towards the field. The referies and guards tried to grab them but they weren't fast enough and neither was Cristiano because before he could even turn around he was tackled by about 10 or 15 girls. They grabbed at him like he was a piece of meat and smelled him all over while others ran their hands through his hair and tugged on it, Cristiano grinned and stood up in a flash. The girls were still smelling him all over, and running their hands through his hair but now he had a can of Axe body spray in one hand and a tub of shampoo in the other. "You want to be treated like a star athlete," he turned to all the girls who still had the hungry look in their eyes and smirked confidently at the camera again, "go get some Axe shampoo and conditioner while your at it, get the body spray too." One of the hottest girls began to kiss him down his neck, "You won't regret it," he said his accent making his voice sound huskier.
"That's it that's what I need," I shouted standing up so fast I tipped over the bowl of popcorn. "Shit Valdez man your picking that up," travis said pointing towards the buttery mess and I waved him off. "Yeah yeah whatever i'll do it later but that's the key," I said pointing to the paused Axe commercial. Conner cocked his head in confusion, "A hott portugal soccer player," he asked. Travis and I both stopped and gave him a weird look, "What have you seen that guy without a shirt on I mean i'm the straightest guy in this room but still..damn," he said. "We'll talk about your attraction to latin soccer players later conner, but no i'm talking about the axe it's the key to success," Travis raised and eyebrow, "Yeah man I don't know who you've gone loco about but I don't really think Axe will solve your-" before he could finish I grabbed his face and squished it so he looked like a fish. "The Axe is the keyyyy," I whispered for dramatic affect, "now can you steal me some or not," I asked and travis pushed me away massaging his face. "Fine whatever what scent do you want," he asked, "WOOHOOO! Were going on a raid," Conner shouted pumping his fists in the air. I smirked, "Just get me every damn scent they have," his lip twitched in a smile, "By when," he asked. "Before 4 o'clock...if you can handle that," I said crossing my arms over my chest and giving them a quizzical look. Travis and Conner smiled mishieviously at each other, "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!" they shouted sprinting out of the hermes cabin faster than when they ran away from clarisse after they died her hair hot pink. They even laughed with the same unnerving way that made you know they were up to no good.
2 hours later back in the Hephaestus cabin...
"Is this what you requested," Travis smirked confidently dropping the huge box full of every scent of Axe shampoo, conditioner, and body spray that they sold. I grinned, "Thanks man I owe you one," I said and they held out their hands simultaneously, "You sure do 30 drachmas." I gaped, "Your kidding right," I asked stupidly and they shook their heads. "Buisness is business now pay up or were taking the goods," Conner said an extremely serious look on his face. I groaned taking out my wallet, "Fine, here now get out," I nodded to them as they closed the door and I turned towards the box. "Oh this is going to be spankin' awesome," I said picking up the box and heading towards the bathroom.
Since I didn't know which one she would like better I just did the most natural thing... I put on every single shampoo and conditioner in the box.
Girl my body don't lie, i'm outta my mind
let it rain over me
I'm rising so high, outta my mind
so let it rai-
'Soap in my eye! Ow! There is soap in my eye,' I inwardly screamed stomping around like an idiot and rubbing my eye. Even though that was probably making it worse. I reached out and grabbed the towel I left on the hook and wrapped it around my waist. "Damn that hurt like a mother fu-" but I was interuppted by, "I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!" and it sounded like it was coming from travis and conner. I chuckled shaking my head man what did those two get into now.
'Ok now just a little more spray,' I thought emptying the last of the body spray there was in the box and threw away the can. I took a deep breath, 'Alright Valdez don't mess up and start to stutter or say something that's going to make her want to hurt you,' I thought opening the door to my cabin and walking towards the arena.
On my way I got a lot of strange looks from people when I walked past them. 'Maybe theres something in my teeth' I thought taking out my hammer which i'd recently polished and checked my teeth. Nope nothing wrong there. Ehh maybe there was something going on behind me.
A group of Aphrodite girls were huddled together gossiping about something I couldn't quite hear when I walked in but they all suddenly stopped and there eyes widened, just like the girls from the commerical. 'Yeah buddy this is working,' I thought inwardly doing a happy dance but they didn't have they same look of hunger instead it was a different look but I couldn't really identify what it was. I mentally waved them off and started to looked around for who I came here for. 'Ok there she, wow she is so beautiful, no stop that act natural and don't screw this up,' I warned myself walking casually over to her.
Before I could utter a word Reyna's head snapped up and her eyes widened with the same look the Aphrodite girls just had, "What is that smell," she asked. I smirked, "That would be me," I said taking a step closer to her but she held her arms out to stop me. "My gosh Valdez why do you smell like that," she asked hysterically covering her nose and mouth with her hand. I stepped back, "Maybe it's a little strong but it can't be that bad," I said smelling myself for the first time. She gaped at me, "Not that bad you smell like you bathed in a river of soiled fish then got hit by a truck full of blue cheese." I scratched at my arms, "Well I might have over done it a littttlle," I said scratching chest. Wow why am I so itchy all of a sudden. Reyna gave me a questioning look, "Leo..how much did you use," she asked slowly as if I were a 5 year old. I viciously scratched my head and neck, "Perhaps I might have maybe used every scent of Axe shampoo and Conditioner and body spray that they sell," I anwsered.
Reyna's eyes widedned and she looked me over, "OH MY GOSH! Leo your having an allergic reaction!" she yelled checking me out from head to toe and grabbing my arms. I tried snatching it away from her but was overcome by a ferious itch in my back, "Am not and what are you doing." She glared, "Leo i'm a daughter of Apollo I know when someones having an allergic reation and you are now come on we have to get her smelly ass to the infirmary," she said tugging on my arms. But this time I did snatch it back, "I am NOT having an allergic reaction to axe and I don't and won't go to the infirmary because you are wrong," I said crossing my arms over my chest but I was secretly scratching them. Reyna crossed her arms over her chest and glared daggers, "Fine," she said so calm it actually made me gulp as I scratched my chest.
"Uhhhh," I groaned loudly and reached up to scratch my neck but was slapped by Will Solace, "If you keep trying to scratch i'll keep slapping you Leo so knock it off," he said putting more aloe itch cream on me. Currently I was lying down in a bed in the infirmary with globs of anti-itch cream all over my arms, neck, and chest it was even in my hair. My face and hands were swollen and to top it all off if that wasn't bad enough Reyna was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest smirking. "Still think I was wrong Valdez," she asked walking over and giving me some ambrosia to calm down the swelling and I shook my head. Reyna smiled and leaned down, "Good because next time you doubt me the swelling will be the least of your problems," she whispered into my ear, shoving a huge chunk of ambrosia into my mouth.
I hate axe.
A/N Poor poor leo he can just be so unlucky in the love department. So what do you guys think? I really hope you like it and if you've read my other stories Kick Butt or Princess Protection Program i'm sorry I haven't updated but I will soon hopefully. Please review! :) I know you guys probably don't care but it makes my day and I smile for like the rest of the day and sometimes it's just 'really like update soon.' Again hope you guys like it and pretty please review with leo on top ;) Oh and I don't mean to say that mexicans are the only ones that watch soccer or anything so sorry is I offended you but since i'm mexican I didn't see something wrong with it. But of course were all different so again sorry if you offended.
P.S i'll give a big shout out to anyone who knows what song this is because most people don't but it's really good :)