Soooo Pinky and the Brain don't belong to me D: Or there'd be movies and more merchandise and, well, I'd be rich motherfuckers XD
Simple!Brain was SO MUCH FUN to write.
And I hope you all enjoy!
All the worst things happened when he was sleeping. He'd been sold to ACME Labs and taken from his parents while asleep. He'd been thrown into the gene-splicer while asleep. He sometimes had scary-wary dreams while asleep. And now his very best friend had vanished while asleep. And the most oddest thing about it was that the cage was still locked. If Brain went out, he always left the cage unlocked for the taller mouse. But no matter how hard he shoved or how strongly he pulled, it just wouldn't open.
It was very weird and it made him very unhappy, so he didn't end up going back to sleep at all. Instead, he hopped onto his wheel and ran as fast as he could, hoping the recently-developed squeak would attract his irritable cagemate's attention.
Who it ended up attracting was an unexpected and rather unpleasant surprise. "Will you stop that ridiculous racket?" someone snapped.
Pinky's ears perked and he stopped, letting the wheel spin him about some before he toppled off. "Brain?"
"No, you imbecile!" Pinky blinked several times when the golden-furred hamster stepped out from the shadows. He clasped his hands behind his back and smiled tauntingly at the tall, slim mouse.
"Snowball!" Pinky gasped and finally jumped to his feet, running over to the bars. "Egad, what're you doing here? Are you going to steal more of Brain's plans?" Incensed, Pinky straightened his back and wagged his finger. "You'd better not, mistah! Brain'll be very upset with you!"
Snowball chuckled. "Oh, Pinky, I think you're very wrong about that. Brain won't be getting mad at me anytime soon." He tilted his head, tapping a finger to his chin. "As a matter of fact, I don't believe he'll be getting mad at anyone for a very long time."
Pinky snorted at that, his irritation already in the past and forgotten. "Oh, Snowball, Brain's almost always grumpy and grumbly and 'Pinky, stop that incessant' whoobywhatsit! He won't just stop bein' mad and stubborn." He gasped, delighted. "Just like you!"
From anyone else that would've been an insult, but Snowball only smacked a hand to his brow and took it as it was meant. It still didn't keep him from being annoyed, though. Simple-minded, potentially inbred fool. Brain's association with him was a constant source of confusion. "He'll stop because I've taken him away! And when I'm done with him, he'll be thrown into the wild to fend for himself. We'll see how long a silly, simple mouse can survive in the jungle."
Pinky blinked several times. "But Brain learned all about the jungle already. A stick is his friend!"
"That was before, you twit!" Snowball growled and surged forward, hands wrapping around the bars of the cage. Word games and implications just went right over this idiot's head, didn't they? "I've taken Brain away and I'm going to destroy his mind! Do you understand? When I'm through with Brain, he'll have even less intelligence than you do!"
"But how will he take over the world?"
"He won't!" Snowball stepped back, pleased that he'd gotten through that thick skull somewhat. "I'll take over the world!"
"But it's his destiny!" Pinky protested, aghast. Brain couldn't become dumber than he was! Pinky had been told time and again that such a thing was impossible, that Brain's brains would have to turn into yogurt or celery or something else that was really quite yummy for that to happen. "Don't turn his brains to yogurt, Snowball! Brain needs his brain!"
Snowball smiled and turned away, finished with this conversation and ready to put his new device to work. "Should you ever see The Brain again, he shan't recognize you. So you may as well not even try. Your days of attempting to take over the world have come to an end." With a chuckle, he leapt from the counter and left a very distressed Pinky behind.
"Brain'll escape!" he shouted. "Narf! You won't stop him, Snowball! He'll stop you! You won't hurt The Brain!" But when there was no response, the mouse's ears wilted and he began to worry in earnest.
He awoke slowly, a shiver going down his spine when he couldn't stretch or move much at all. Through the daze of a half-sleep, the mouse couldn't even tell what exactly was keeping him trapped. His wrists were strapped down, his ankles clasped, and he abruptly realized that he was sitting down. He hadn't been sitting when he'd fallen asleep. He'd been lying next to Pinky, the blanket tossed over his head to help block the irritating new light of a snake tank that had been transported to their side of the lab. Apparently he was in the room with the mice to study how his behavior changed with the scent of food constantly nearby. Barbarians.
"Oh, Brain, it's about time. I've been waiting all night."
That low voice was certainly not Pinky. "Snowball," he growled and jolted when something slammed down onto his head. His eyes flew open, meeting the angry pink ones of his former friend. His own widened a bit when he realized they weren't angry, so much as triumphant. "What have you done, Snowball?"
"Besides tampering with your water bottle and stealing you away from your incompetent sidekick?"
Brain didn't want to break their eye contact, but didn't feel as though he had a choice. Snowball was clearly not going to monologue without a bit more prompting. The more Snowball monologued, the more distracted he'd be. It would be optimal for escape. He was already calculating ways in which to escape this chair and was sure he'd only need 5.4 seconds to get away entirely.
But as his gaze traveled over the massive machine just to his right, his calculations faded in the light of sheer astonishment and then anger. Spark plugs surrounded a slim lightbulb, hung over a box that attached to a control panel. Plenty of wires and pipes that all led to the chair he was currently strapped into. It was generic, really, could do anything. But it was the toy monkey with its little cymbals that told Brain what it was. It was one of his, an old design that had worked even while it had failed.
It had made Pinky smarter as designed, but it had also made them both incredibly, incredibly stupid when the dial had been turned downwards. The dial on Snowball's copy was definitely turned down. It had been sheer dumb luck that he and Pinky had managed to fix the effects the last time. A second fix would be nearly impossible, particularly since The Brain had destroyed their version of the machine.
"Where did you get the blueprints for this?" he demanded and Snowball pranced over to a large brown book. He pushed it up and Brain read the cover with a growing horror.
This Belongs To
"It was on page forty-six," was the smug explanation.
The chair was certainly not as comfortable as Brain had originally designed, though his had been designed for someone willing to sit and be experimented on. Snowball's was not. He started to wriggle a wrist slowly, carefully. He'd just have to come back with Pinky after escaping and get his log back. "And what do you plan to do with it?"
"Oh, Brain, let's not play these games." Snowball dropped the book and came over, jerking on the straps that kept him trapped. Brain winced, re-calculating. 8.2 seconds. "You're trapped and you're going to remain trapped until I let you go."
"Even if I become as dim-witted as Pinky, I'll still know to return to the lab! Pinky and I'll reverse this just as we did the last time!" It would be irritating to lose so many nights, but that only meant they'd have to work more diligently in taking over the world after he was back to normal.
"Yes, I saw the notes. Turning yourself into an imbecile and leaving Pinky intelligent?" Snowball shook his head and sauntered over to the machine's controls.
Brain instantly began wriggling his wrists, flexing his hand to make it as slim as possible. Being a mouse certainly came in handy when escape was involved. The levels of dexterity were- "Nyaaah!" He hadn't been expecting the violent jolt of electricity and it put a dent in his calculations, adding seconds he simply didn't have. He began to work quicker.
Snowball only chuckled. "Oh, and Brain? This won't be like the last time at all. Those bulbs are LED ones. Extra-strong."
Brain didn't pause in his movements, even as a chill shot down his spine. He had a hand freed by the time the second jolt of electricity shot through him and he attacked the other strap at his wrist after a failed attempt at removing at the helmet. He needed both hands for the stupid buckle.
"Goodbye, Brain. Thanks so very much for the log."
The mouse turned his head sharply and watched as the last button was pushed. The amount of electricity generated shorted the room and left them in the dark.
When The Brain hadn't returned by the end of the following day, the scientists were very annoyed and Pinky was very scared. Why hadn't he come home? Even when everything went dark outside the window and the sparkly things had appeared in the sky, he didn't come home. Had Snowball really turned his mind into runny yogurt and sent him all the way to a jungle?
Pinky wanted to curl up on Brain's side of their bed and cower beneath the blanket. Instead, he decided that if Brain wasn't going to come to him, he would simply have to go to Brain. Too bad he had absolutely no idea how to get out. Brain was always the one to open their cage, so Pinky was miserably loitering in front of the cage door trying to think. If he thought too hard, he'd pull that muscle in his head again and that always hurt.
He rubbed his head, frowning, and strolled away from the door to go to the sardine tin Brain kept all his secret thingies in. Pinky wasn't exactly supposed to look, but this was an emergency! He only hoped The Brain would forgive him when he came back and discovered his secret thingies had been messed with. Pinky reached out for it, certain there was a whole list of ways to escape in there.
But then something metal caught his eye, glinting in the light of the scary snake cage. At least it was scary to Pinky. Brain had patted his hand and told him the creature was nothing to worry about as long as they stayed away from it. Pinky rubbed that hand now, staring at the paperclip that had caught his eye. Brain had used a paperclip to escape before, Pinky was sure of it. But how? He'd fiddled with it.
Pinky went over and picked it up and began to fiddle. He carried it to the door, stabbing it into the lock at random and wiggling it like mad. When several minutes had passed and it hadn't worked, he huffed and brought it back into the cage to fiddle some more. He nearly called out to Brain for help as an unfamiliar feeling of frustration welled within him.
And then he did call out because he couldn't hold it in anymore. "Egad, Brain! How d'you do it?" He'd somehow managed to get the paperclip into the shape of a key, but he was still extremely frustrated and was staring at it with extreme distaste. "Now Mr. Paperclip, I know you're probably missing Brain too, but that's no excuse for being so difficult!" he scolded. "If you would be so kind, will you please work? I want to get Brain back home safe and sound so he can take over the world! It's tomorrow night!"
He jammed the key-shaped paperclip into the whole and fiddled and turned until the door swung open while he was leaning against it. He toppled over, landing face-first on the counter. "Ow!" He sat up, rubbing his nose, and then gasped. "Hoorah!" he cheered. "Now to find The Brain!" Delighted, he skipped right off the edge of the counter and made his way out of the building with absolutely no idea where he was going to go but entirely certain that he'd find his friend soon enough.
Dark, dark, dark. The large-headed mouse slid along the floor of the cage, squeaking in fear. He'd been bumped and jostled ever since he'd been thrown into the cage by the very bad-smelling hamster and carried to the big scary machine with the rumbly sounds.
He sniffed the air when the motion finally evened out, got onto wobbly hind legs to sniff higher. Stale, stale, stale. He didn't understand the scents that filled his small nostrils, dropped down to the floor and twitched his ears. The rumbling noises were so loud, he couldn't hear anything besides.
When the outside suddenly stopped, the mouse slid forward and bopped his head on the side of the cage. Dizzy, he curled up into a tight ball and covered his ears. His paws were funny, he'd realized. He could grab the bars when everything was still. Now they only served to cover his large ears. His head popped up when there was more movement, and the very big thing with no fur was carrying the cage. "This is close enough to a forest," he grumbled, though the little mouse didn't understand a single word. He squeaked and sniffed wildly when the cage was dropped and an opening swung open. "Get out o' there!" the man said and tilted the cage.
As the mouse slid forward, he only covered his ears again and curled up, not moving even when his little body smacked the edge. The human reached in and grabbed him, sending the little mouse into a panic. He squeaked wildly and wriggled a bit before doing the only thing instinct told him to do.
He bit the man's finger. "Yeowch!" he wailed and flicked his wrist reflexively. The sharp motion sent the former megalomaniac flying through the air, squealing with fear until he landed in the grass. His nose wrinkled in distaste at the smell of the grass and the dirt, and the human was forgotten. He started running to get away from the grass and dirt, but his head threw his four-legged sprints off-balance and he stumbled over himself and rolled several times before slipping into a pond with a plop.
Squeaking unhappily, he crawled out and shook himself like a dog. A young woman who was snuggled with her boyfriend on a blanket nearby squealed and he began to run again. "A disgusting water rat! Ew!" Something about the word "rat" upset him, but he didn't understand so ran faster until the grass and dirt was gone. The more solid ground below him was much better for some reason and he managed to get onto his hind legs. He took a few testing steps and was a little surprised by how easy it was. His head seemed much more balanced now, so he trotted happily down a virtually empty sidewalk, managing to avoid being stepped on or even seen as he went.
Next chapter we'll see if Pinky's typical dumb luck is of any use in locating Brain~