Title: Three's a Crowd

Rated/Genre: PG-13/Romance (sort of) & Humor (epic-ly FAILED one at that)

Summary: College-AU. "In which Dave walks in on a really, really awkward and intimate situation. The other parties aren't all that pleased about it either." Karkat/Kanaya/Gamzee.


Dave Strider is pissed.

Usually, he's good at hiding his emotion, and his eyes never give him away due to the black shades he seems to have never taken off like, forever. But today, if someone were to look at him in the hallway—hands stuffed into the pocket of his dark jeans, cigarette trapped between his wet pink lips, face keeps contorting from a scowl of displeasure to a weird snicker, feet stomping loudly on the ground—one would immediately know that he's angry.

He has two people plus his algebraic teacher, Eridan, to blame for his unimproved mood; the other two being his friend Aradia, and his sister, Rose Lalonde. Oh, and Karkat Vantas of course, for he is the main reason of what pissed him off. The dude just basically skipped algebraic for two whole periods, in which Dave himself slept off for one and half an hour due to lack of interest, and he's fine with it, really. Totally fine with it until Eridan commanded him to bring today's task to Karkat's room.

At first, he refused, reasoning that he had some urgent matters involving his sister. Eridan let him off the hook, and he was having another good time with his lips planted firmly on Rose's and his hands in her blonde hair, until Aradia barged into the room. She gasped and screamed hysterically at the sight of Rose, practically straddling his hips with nothing but purple tank-top and black pleated-skirt.

There was a good five minutes of awkward silence before she stammered that she would never told anyone and that she's there just to ask him to bring Karkat's fucking algebraic tasks to his room. Rose laughed as he grumpily pulled his jeans back and snatched the papers from the other girl's hand and stalked out of the room.

Dave turns around the corner sharply, ignoring the angry swearing Vriska throws at him and Tavros' confused face. He really is not in the mood to talk with anyone else for the rest of the day after that. And he's sure that Aradia will never look at him and Rose the same way again. Then people will get curious and they'll find out about him and Rose.

Scowling, Dave slams his fist against Karkat's door and opens it without hesitation. Apparently, it doesn't cross his mind, not even once, that he would be caught in some awkward what-the-fuck situation that literally blows his mind.

"Holy Jesus fucking Christ—dude what the fuck?" Dave shouts in reflex because right there, in the middle of the room, by the bedpost, stand Karkat, Kanaya, and Gamzee; half naked with their bodies pressing against each other intimately.

Well, fuck.

… … …

Karkat and Kanaya were always the most responsible ones in the group.

Of course there were others with similar personalities such as theirs, but they had always been the tight-up ones—well, Karkat was always the one with stick up his ass when it came to, mostly, fucking everything—and therefore, they bore heavier task with bigger responsibility than others'. Usually, it would always be a pleasure, and they would be honored. But when the teachers forced them to do "something more fucking important than what they've fucking done before" and brought them in front of the door of a son of an aristocrat, well; there was neither honor or pleasure in knowing what they had to do there.

Even from the outside, they could already smell the horrible stench of smoke mixed with cheap wine and possibly marijuana coming from the room. The smell only made both their feelings and the situation ten thousand times worse than before, and they knew that it would be most unlikely to the point of being freaking impossible to drag the aristocrat's son, Gamzee Makara, out of his room, let alone forcing him to attend the algebraic class. It was out of the question the moment they heard about what happened the night before at Terezi's party, whereas the words 'alcohol', 'some drugs', and 'thirty bottles of bourbon' would never mix well with 'bored Gamzee'.

They stared hard at the door, hopefully wishing that it would melt down under the intensity of their gazes, even though they're above twenties and none of them actually believed in magic and fairy tales and pink flying unicorns. Karkat was the one who opened the door; his breath caught in the middle of his throat, his tongue flicked out across his dry parted lips, his body stiffened all over when his hand reached out for the doorknob and turned it around with his sweaty palm.

The door pushed open without warning, and they barged in without knocking. Gamzee's room was, predictably, like a ship that had sunk deep under the ocean, with sharks and octopuses destroying each and every single thing they touched without being aware of it and actually lived inside of it. Darkness consumed them like a thick black blanket with alligator's hard sharp skin instead of swan's soft fluffy feathers. Kanaya's hand went to the wall beside her, searching for light switches and turned them all on when she found eight of them.

It was unfair, how the rich students always got the best room and never actually took care of it, she thought. But none of that mattered now when they coughed like their blood cells stuck in their lungs and almost vomited their breakfast as the smell gotten stronger the deeper they explored. Finally, after deciding that it didn't really matter if she died now, Kanaya shouted the noble's name between heavy pants and horrible coughs.

It wasn't until they woke up on a familiar bed—which a minute later they realized was Karkat's—that they found out they had passed out and Gamzee had taken them to Karkat's room since he didn't know where Kanaya's was, which was a total bullshit. He's been there with her a lot of times, either sleeping with his arms wrapped around her under the blanket or undressing her and painting red marks all over her neck and thighs. Karkat seemed to know it was a lie the moment he spoke though, so she said nothing.

They started asking him questions about what happened last night which he answered with either a shrug or "it was a motherfucking miracle party" or a laugh. As much as she loved to hear his laughter, he was getting on her nerves, and she didn't think that Karkat would last for more than another three minutes if he kept avoiding the subject like this.

"Seriously, dude. What the fuck did you do last night? Those idiot teachers are freaking their fucking brains out about it—especially Miss. Thornton!" Karkat snapped, rather angrily, and Kanaya sighed.

To their horror, Gamzee smirked. That had never been a good sign.

He moved from his spot by the door and walked around the bed. Both Karkat and Kanaya watched, as he stopped by Kanaya's side, the same smirk playing on his lips. His fingers brushed a lock of dark green-ish hair from her cheek. She stiffened visibly, watching in weird fascination as his tongue flicked out to lick his lower lip, and didn't resist when he suddenly got onto the bed and straddled her. Karkat shrieked.

"W-what the fuck are you doing?" he screamed hysterically, eyes wide and breathless. The smirk widened into a grin, and Kanaya's breath caught in her throat when his fingers slipped into her underwear.

"Showing you what I did last night." Gamzee said and mashed Karkat's lips to his.

… … …

"Holy Jesus fucking Christ—dude what the fuck?" the sound of Dave's voice, cursing and shouting like there's a bloody murder, catch them off-guard.

Gamzee is the first one to react. The moment the door opened, his hands that were wrapped around Kanaya's waist shot back to his sides, while his lips that were locking with hers pulled back away in a flash, so fast that if they're not wet and swollen, Dave might actually think he was hugging her instead of making out with her.

Dave notices some things he had missed before; the zipper of Karkat's jeans was open and his shirt has been unbuttoned, revealing pale-skin and lean chest underneath. Kanaya's red skirt has been hiked up to her waist, her black panties have been pushed down, and her make-up smears all over face. He forces his eyes to look away from her soaking-underwear and looks at Gamzee. He's a total mess—then again, he has always been messy—but this time is worse.

For a long heavy awkward moment of stunned silence, they all stand there, staring at each other with terrified faces of horror and disbelief. Then, as if she has been slapped out of her reveries, Kanaya blushes deep red and lunges at the door hysterically. Dave backs away instantly—not forgetting to drop the papers on the floor—as the door slams shut and hits his forehead.

His brain stops working, obviously, and his mind simply refuse to accept the fact that he has seen… that. The images keep appearing behind his eyelids every time he blinks.

'It never happened, it never happened, it never happened…' the blonde chants the words under his breath like a mantra, as if it can make it all disappear.

Just when he thought that the day couldn't get any worse, it actually did, and he's one hundred percent sure, that Rose would laugh at his face later for this. Damn it.


I cannot believe I just wrote this. Oh god. It was supposed to be shorter—much shorter –like six hundred words and less, believe me—but I like how the crappy-graphic made out of photoscape for this fic looks like. So I wrote it longer than planned. Shit.

Leave a review, please? I'm pretty much depressed not having a single review for any of my fic. Not that any of them are that good though…