Spike was prepared for an average, boring night when he walked out of the butcher's with a paper bag of blood under his arm, and a plastic bag full of booze and cigs in his hand. He should have known that there wasn't such a thing on the Hellmouth. As he hurried across the park on the way to his crypt, he tripped and cursed as he dropped his bags onto the grass. Spewing obscenities, Spike didn't notice the hurt sound that came from the puppy he had tripped on, he was too focused on gathering up his blood and booze. A small, fluffy puppy leaped in front of him and took off with the paper bag Spike needed.
"Hey! Get back here you mutt!" Spike yelled at the animal and shot to his feet. The puppy barked playfully and held still, letting Spike approach it. Right when Spike leapt for the pooch, it barked again and slipped from his grasp. He fell inelegantly to the ground and growled. This damn dog was going to drive him bloody crazy. He got back to his feet and watched the dog. It was looking at him curiously, and for some reason Spike was struck with the sudden urge to take it home with him. He wasn't exactly a dog person, but the compulsion was there. As if sensing his changing feelings, the puppy bounded towards him, dropping the bag and rolling over in front of Spike. Spike bent down and ruffled its ears a bit before snatching up the bag and gathering his things.
"C'mon you stupid dog, before I change my mind," Spike grumbled at the dog. He didn't really want it, but if he left it there some demon would probably come along and eat it. Spike hefted the dog into his arms and clumsily made his way back to his crypt, his arms full of puppy, blood, and alcohol. Kicking open the door, Spike let the puppy down to run around and he turned back around to shut the door. He set his bags on a small nightstand he'd stolen from the city dump, and stared at the dog that had curled up on his sun-blanket.
"Home sweet home, eh? Now what name does a little trouble maker like you have?" Spike asked the dog while he bent down to look at it. The dog was a German shepherd puppy, probably about 4 months old. It stared at Spike's pale face that was level with its own, and without warning, it gave him a sloppy wet kiss on his cheek. Spike gagged and stood up, wiping furiously where the dog had stuck its nasty, puppy breathe tongue.
"Yuck! Just cos I took you home with me doesn't mean I like you, pooch." Spike glared at the dog, wondering why he even brought it home. The puppy looked at him sadly, at least until the door busted open. Then both of them jumped and whipped their heads toward the door. Spike rolled his eyes when he saw the familiar blonde hair.
"Bloody hell, Slayer, with all the time you lurk around here, someone could assume you like me. What do you want? I'm a bit busy here." He said to her. She glared at him and was about to come back with a witty retort when she spotted the pup. With what could only be described as a giddy squeal, she bolted forward and picked up the puppy.
"A puppy! Ohmygod it's so cute! Wait, why do you have a puppy? You hate like everything," Buffy said as she pet the now very happy puppy. Spike rolled his eyes, tempted to ask her to take the damn thing, but if he had the dog, then she would have a reason to come see him. He stood up and crossed his arms.
"I don't hate everything. I found him on my way home, well more of he found me, I didn't want some demon coming along and eating the stupid thing," Spike explained to the expectant Slayer. She nodded and kissed the dog on the head before setting it back down in Spike's recliner.
"Huh, that's pretty nice for you. What's his name?" She asked him. Spike glared at her emphasis of 'you' as if it was a bad thing and he realized the dog didn't have a name. He shrugged.
"It doesn't have one," he told her. She gaped at him as if he'd just done something unthinkable and she looked at the dog.
"Well Spike is out of the question since that's your name. Hmm, he looks like a…Oliver!" Buffy exclaimed, fully expecting Spike to name it that. He shook his head; he disagreed with her, but not just for the sake of disagreement.
"What's wrong with my name? Better than Buffy," he sneered at her. "I mean your mom is the only one of your lot I can stand, but I don't know what she was thinking when she named you. Oliver is a stupid name; he looks like a…Rex." Spike decided. Buffy glared at him about her name, smacked him lightly on the arm, and glanced at the dog sleeping in Spike's chair.
"Your daddy is mean, Rex. Don't worry, if he is mean to you I'll beat him up and take you home," Buffy finally focused on what she came to Spike for in the first place. "So this demon attacked me earlier, like ten minutes ago, gross and horny, Willow told me to come ask you to help." Buffy didn't realize she said something off until Spike snickered at her.
"Horny, eh? Surprises me since it was you it attacked. Fine, let me figure out what to do with Rex." Spike turned towards the dog, picked it up, blanket and all, and carried it to his bedroom below. He set it down, made sure it was comfortable, and then climbed back up his steps and slid the stone slab back in place.
"What's down there?" Buffy asked him as he slid on his duster. He certainly wasn't going to tell her he had a Buffy shrine down there, so he made up a ridiculous answer.
"My pet lion, he likes to eat puppies," Spike said with a straight face and opened the door to outside. Buffy gaped at him, caught up and punched him in the arm.
"Not funny! I almost thought you were serious. Are you sure he's ok down there?" Buffy asked him.
"The lion?" He replied with a grin.
"No you idiot, Rex."
"I don't have a dinosaur. I'd think even you would know those are extinct."
"What's that supposed to mean! Don't make me stake you!" She yelled at him.
"OH, I'm terrified." Spike smiled sarcastically and Buffy huffed and threw her hands into the air, exasperated with him already. "Rex will be fine, what's the worst that could happen?" Spike continued.
"You did not just say that. Bad luck for you! Those are like the worst words you could say! Like when Xander jinxed me back in junior year of high school. He asked something similar and look what that did," She commented, gesturing towards him.
"You know you couldn't live without my inherent charms, luv."
Buffy snorted, and then covered her face with her hand, pretending she didn't. Spike charming? The thought sent hysterical giggles through her.
"Whatever, Slayer. One of these days you'll realize you can't live without me. Now hurry up, I don't have all night. Who knows what that nutty pup is doing," Spike commented and they went to Xander's house. Giles was out of town for the week, so they would have to settle with assembling the Scooby Gang there.
Rex was snoozing peacefully for the time being, but he was suddenly jerked awake by a powerful sneeze. Small, fluttering flames shot out of his little black mouth. Rex grunted and got comfortable again before falling back asleep, waiting for his new owner to get back.