Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors or any brands mentioned in the story.
The ThunderClan Chorus gathered, and Jayfeather went in the front of the small group, conducted by Squirrelflight.
"Alright, from the top!" Squirrelflight yowled, and the cats began to sing.
"High School Musical, who says we have to let it go? It's the best part we've ever known, so step into the future!" The chorus sang at a fast pace.
"Little off-key!" Berrystumpyleg called, and Jayfeather gave him the evil eye. Jayfeather adored chorus. It was so fun! He loved singing.
"You sounded great, Jayfeather!" Cinderheart complimented. She was one of the best members of the choir.
Jayfeather, being how mean he was, snapped at Cinderheart. "Shut up, stupid beotch!"
Icecloud slinked by the WindClan border, and saw Breezepelt. "Breezepelt!" She whispered. Icecloud was still intent on avenging herself, on the fact that Lionblaze had played her to get back Cinderheart. She would help Breezepelt take down Lionblaze.
"I am taking down ThunderClan, but you can be spared. Cookies will indeed by available." Breezepelt attempted to bargain with Icecloud.
"Will our meetings interfere with the new episodes of 'The View?'" Icecloud couldn't miss it!
"Dark Forest no! Damn, I love The View! Especially when Barbara and Whoopi get catty with each other!" Breezepelt reassured, and the duo were pleased. Icecloud would ally herself with Breezepelt to take down ThunderClan, just so she could nab Lionblaze.
Hollyleaf somehow happened to be watching, and realized what Icecloud might be doing. Was she feeding Breezepelt about the ThunderClan Nuclear Weapons program? She couldn't! Hollyleaf would have to brutally murder Icecloud, and run into a tunnel and fake her death again, to preserve the warrior code.
"AAAAHHHH!" Ivypool randomly screamed, and fell down for absolutely no reason.
"I've fallen, and I can't get up!" Ivypool exclaimed. "I must use Life Alert!" She pushed her nose on the button, and nothing happened. "Dammit! What the f**king Dark Forest is going on? This retarded piece of sh*t isn't working!" Ivypool ranted, still unable to get up, despite her youth, and falling for no reason, on the soft grass, and the medicine den was only a few feet from the nursery. Her kits played with her mate, Foxleap, as she doubled over in pain.
"Let all cats old enough to commit murder gather under the Highledge for a clan f**king!" Firestar called out, and the cats gathered.
"The rebellion of Ferncloud's kits has affected us deeply! The Tribe of Epic Awesomeness has taken 6% of our territory prey! The kits have learned how to survive on their own!" Firestar announced. Everyone was appalled. "Oh my StarClan!" exclaimed Ferncloud, as she fainted. "STARCLAN, DOESN'T EXIST, BEOTCH! I AM STARTING THE ALLIANCE OF ANTI-STARCLANNERS!" Cloudtail proclaimed, and him and Daisy cheered.
Lionblaze, Cloudtail and Daisy were gathered around a large table they rented from . "Why are you an Anti-StarClanner, Lionblaze?" Daisy asked friendishly.
"Because, StarClan didn't give me good fundraising skills." Lionblaze meowed, and a flashback occurred.
"Yo, random loners, wanna buy some chocolates?" Lionblaze asked, drunkly. He had consumed a three, six, or eleven drinks before going on the fundraising trip organized by Brambleclaw. The random loners looked at him, scared. "Oh my gosh, what is he saying? I'm scared!" The random loners exclaimed, and ran away.
"And that's my story." Lionblaze finished. "Oh, bless your soul!" Daisy sympathetically said.
"I am a non-believer, because I was born a f**king kittypet, and my mother, Princess, had a retarded name, and I pooed in a stream. It changed my belief in StarClan forever." Cloudtail explained, nodding.
Dovewing walked through the forest. "I'm casting my senses, because I'm a special prophecy cat!" She called out, hoping no one heard her yowl. She was searching for Bumblestripe, so they could reconcile, and then hump hard. Her and Tigerheart only had a one time thing! Because of stupid Breezepelt, Bumblestripe HAD to find out.
"Shut up, Dovewing, or I'll nuke your skanky ass!" Hollyleaf whispered, and Dovewing kept quiet. She found Bumblestripe, with his fur unstraightened. "OH MY GOSH! I can't even LOOK at you! Your fur is unstraight!" Dovewing looked away. Eventually, the pair got back together, AGAIN, and went to go walk, and talk about the latest episode of Desperate Housecats, and then hump hard in a tree branch.
Hollyleaf stared down Icecloud form the shadows… As she read Fire and Ice. "OMS! I hope Cinderpaw is okay! I wonder if Cinderheart is a reincarnation of her? Coincidence!" Hollyleaf meowed, as she kept one eye of Icecloud.
"Oh, that was really good, Toadstep…" Jayfeather moaned, after having a long night of hot sex with the pregnant Toadstep… Then, Jayfeather came to his senses.
"Wait… I'm a straight medicine cat! Get your little douche ass outta here, rapist!" Jayfeather yowled, literally kicking Toadstep out.
Toadstep moaned. He was carrying an unloving Lionblaze's kits, and his new lover, Jayfeather, kicked him out.
Jayfeather relaxed, and muttered about how much he hated his life. It really didn't suck, but he was an overly dramatic hormonal bastard.
Breezepelt and Icecloud were done. They had negotiated with the Tribe of Epic Awesomeness. They would take down ThunderClan.
"Give us… moss balls and smooth sticks to play with!" The leader, Kitmaster, demanded. Kitmaster and the others had black stripes on their cheeks.
Breezepelt and Icecloud obviously adhered to this, and gave them the stuff. The dreaded invasion was on.
Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The finale is coming soon! Please review, and laugh! :D