She's crying again.
I know it's difficult for her.
I see it.
Being by herself, it's always lonely.
Why can I help her?
This is getting to me.
I wanted to touch her today.
She seamed to need it. I wanted to feel her skin. To let her know that I was here, that she could have support. That she's not alone in this. I've tried to be there for her. Even if she doesn't know it.
Why do things have to be so hard?
I need a break. I walk to the window and close my eyes, I feel the sunlight steaming. The familiar voice always telling me that I'm doing the right thing by remaining here.
Like I didn't know it before.
I want to leave, but I know that if I do, she'll remain here and then she will be alone.
I take a deep breath. One that I know I don't need, but it calms me still.
When I open my eyes she's no longer there. I can see the bed has been made and the dirty laundry that was littering the floor is now in the basket near the door. I hear the sound of footsteps in the other room, the soft humming and the noise in the kitchen. She's up, making the best of it. I hope she's trying.
I'm still here. So I'll look over her for a little while longer.