Title: Faeding Fast
Fandom: Lost Girl
Summary: Lauren wrestles with a tough decision and Bo is there to offer moral support and possibly a booty call or two.
Disclaimer: Do not own them. No harm, no foul.
A/N: Thanks to lonejaguar for the beta.
She shouldn't feel this way; she should be happy, ecstatic. It's not often that you get a second chance with somebody, she reasoned. For all the hours she spent huddled in the lab searching for a cure, it wasn't even Lauren that saved Nadia. The Ash had rescued Nadia and now Lauren felt scared, confused, frazzled, and even a little hopeless. She had fled the Ash's residence again and ran to the only place she felt safe anymore-a derelict house on the outskirt of town-Bo's domain. Surprising Bo by showing up on her doorstep at midnight was one way to hide from the desperation she felt. The constant doubting she experienced over her very own girlfriend debacle was intensely uncomfortable for Lauren. But to their credit, Bo had been accommodating and Kenzi for the most part tolerated her presence, even when Bo led her upstairs.
She felt hungry. Volatile. It was different this time. Frantic and rough. She was punishing herself for punishing Nadia, an innocent. They clashed forcefully. Desperately.
How could she put into words what it is like to be with Bo? And why did she keep coming back to her like a touchstone. Like now, watching her sleep, the corners of her mouth upturned in a sleepy smile. She was breathtakingly beautiful. Lauren brushed Bo's hair off her forehead before pressing her lips against it.
When she awoke to the sound of a blaring television at three a.m., Bo was gone. Lauren slipped out of bed and into her clothes before heading downstairs to investigate. It was hours later and Lauren could still feel Bo's touch. She was tempted to give in to the idea that the reason she could still feel Bo was that she had sex with a succubus. And in a house with no walls it was no wonder why Kenzi suddenly seemed unnerved by her presence.
Lauren squinted at the glowing television.
"What's up, Doc?" Kenzi was curled into a ball in the corner of the couch.
"Can't sleep." Lauren tucked into the opposite corner.
"Miss your own bed, do ya?"
"I have a lot on my mind."
"And things just got a lot more complicated."
She hadn't expected to run into Kenzi at three a.m. Her plan was, well, she didn't have a plan. She knew her plan probably shouldn't have included sleeping with Bo again but she had left Lauren breathless and addicted. And when Bo caressed her hair and languidly kissed her stomach, Lauren had come undone.
Lauren looked at the Ash's pendant that hung around her neck and quietly contemplated her status as his pet. Sanctimonious asshole. How she could continue to grovel at his feet when it left her feeling cheap and common? But she honored her commitment because lives depended on it. After five years of indentured servitude Lauren knew time was irrelevant when you make no progress. She has been successful, sure, but if you asked her how she saw it, Lauren would say not when it counts.
Truth was, Lauren wasn't so sure she'd know how to live on her own again even if given the opportunity. The Ash controlled everything: where she lived, where she worked, who she saw outside his watchful eye. If she sought answers beyond the Ash's reach she had to do so with great precision. There were ways she still exercised her independence and that's what keeps her sane most days. Her project with Bo, in fact, had saved her life. Bo woke Lauren from her slumber. The monotony and predictability of her life in the Ash's service had worn on the doctor. Her love had faded. She wanted to run away in the night, abandon Nadia and her life as she knew it and then came Bo. So sure of herself, strong and some might even say noble, but only if you asked another human. Lauren even fantasized that one day Bo might rescue her, too.
Lauren nervously chewed her cuticles. She didn't expect Bo to be so sensitive. A succubus thrives on casual sex, after all. Now, however, Lauren began to see that Bo's human upbringing has shaped her quite differently from a clan-raised succubus. A case for Nature versus Nurture could be made. Lauren shook her head, she couldn't reduce Bo to her genus and species. She didn't see Bo as an object but a work of art. A perfect example of evolutionary genius. Evolved, refined and distilled through the years into a picture of deadly beauty and skill.
Now that she had recommitted to the Ash and Nadia was awake and still in love with her, Lauren couldn't get Bo out of her head. Quite the pickle, she mused. Her life was bound to continue to be a predictable borefest with the occasional visit from Nadia as an added distraction. Lauren wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. They had history, yes, but Lauren's allegiances had been divided by Bo. Bo, who can't be monogamous and Lauren, who can't decide if that matters. That, my friend, is what we call an impasse.
Lauren stretched as Kenzi flipped between infomercials. Kenzi offered a weak smile. She checked the clock. Four a.m. and Bo was out fighting the good fight. She knew that Bo could take care of herself, still, she worried. It seemed silly that she should worry about a Succubus with an arsenal of weaponry but she felt something for Bo. Something intangible and beautiful. Something she awkwardly fumbled with on every occasion that they met.
Meanwhile, Bo was quietly smoldering for her, Lauren knew. Something stirred in her when Bo was near. Any attempt to deny these feelings was pushed away quickly. So, overwhelmed by her and secretly hungry for her touch, Lauren remained, Nadia notwithstanding.
It had been five years since Lauren had felt Nadia's touch. Five years without a kiss goodnight. Five years without a hug goodbye. Five years to forget what they had. Still, Lauren had to try. Searching for a cure for Nadia was all that had consumed her for these five long years but along the way she became a doctor to a patient instead of a girlfriend to a lover. So when Nadia awoke Lauren felt surprise, but also numbed, daunted by trying to reestablish a connection with a woman who felt as if five years had passed in the blink of an eye. But how do you break up with someone you devoted your own life to save? And how do you solve a problem like Bo?
"So Doc, who ya gonna pick in your menage-a-trois of lesbian dramarama?"
Lauren bowed her head. "I don't know. I need some time."
"And while you're deciding which pony is the prettiest, Bo is going bat shit crazy waiting for your decision.
"The impact and repercussions of a decision like this are too great and far-reaching to take lightly."
"Don't give me that, Doc. You want my girl, don't bother denying it. But here's the thing, you break Bo's heart and I'll break your face."
"Maybe I should go." Lauren stood and headed for the stairs.
"Aw, Doc, don't be like that." Kenzi hollered after her.
"No, it's fine. You're right. I should go." And with that, Lauren disappeared upstairs.
At four a.m. she gathered her things, pausing to sit on Bo's bed for a moment. Her perfume still hung in the air and Lauren felt suddenly desperate to be with Bo. Was it her thrall or some residual juju in a succubus' lair that she once read about? Or were her true feelings being obscured by doubts? This confusion made her backtrack.
Lauren laid back onto the bed and let her eyes close.
The soft rustle of fabric and jostle of bed clothes roused Lauren.
"Go back to sleep." Bo slid into bed behind her.
Lauren was going to leave, she was going to flee but something kept her rooted in place. Instead she found herself in Bo's arms again. Spectacularly so. How anyone else could compare to a succubus, Lauren wasn't sure. Nadia slipped further away.
She awoke to the sounds of running water. There was not much in the way of soundproofing in the clubhouse. So little, in fact, that Lauren was getting used to being woken up by a bevy of noises. She snatched Bo's robe and padded to the bathroom where she found Bo soaking in the claw foot tub, her back to the door. Lauren stood in the doorway trying to form a sentence that didn't start with "I love you" or "Don't make me go back." Bo's senses, however, were sharper than Lauren realized.
"It's impolite to stare."
"Sorry," she sighed. "I… I need to talk to you." Lauren stepped into the bathroom and stood before Bo. God, she was beautiful.
"Sounds important." Bo ran her hand through the water and sunk deeper into the tub.
"I have feelings for you," she blurted, covering her face.
"Like what, affection, anger, lust?"
"I'm serious, Bo. How can I be with you when Nadia is here waiting for me to love her?"
"Then go to her and make a decision, any decision, because I can't handle the suspense anymore. I can't deny myself what I feel for you every time you change your mind." Bo wasn't angry, just exhausted.
Lauren stood before Bo, fighting the distraction of her naked body beneath the water.
Bo sighed. "Or you could take off that robe and join me?"
Lauren's stomach took this curve at ninety miles an hour and all she could do was hang on for the ride. That and smile like and idiot as she stepped into the tub. And when Bo's arms snaked around her and her legs wrapped around Lauren's waist, it was over. Nadia became a technicality and every time Bo touched her she faded a little more from Lauren's heart.
So when Bo kissed her, slow and deliberate, Lauren didn't fight it. She felt her heart crumple like a piece of paper. Lauren was slowly being reduced to a shell that loved Nadia once. A shell that had been eclipsed by Bo's passion for her.
"What's wrong?" Bo pulled away and pressed her forehead to Lauren's.
Lauren rolled her forehead against Bo's. "I have to tell her."
"Aces high, read 'em and weep," Kenzi slammed her hand onto the table.
Bo tossed her cards onto the pile. "I should know better than to play poker with a card counter."
"Aw, muffin! You're just sore that Lauren isn't back yet." Kenzi counted the pot, grinning ear to ear.
Bo cracked a bottle of beer and took a swig, kicking back. "It's been four hours, what am I supposed to think?"
"Don't give up just yet, Mama bear. Never underestimate the power of the fae-vajayjay."
"Such optimism from someone who doesn't even like Lauren."
"I'll admit I was a bit harsh on the Doc but Team Dyson has all but been dissolved and the Doc's still here. Plus, I know how you feel about her even if you won't say it out loud."
"And how do I feel about her?"
"You lurrrrrrve her."
Bo smiled. "Such an imagination, Kenz."
"Don't try to deny it, Succubuddy. You think I don't catch how you look at her?"
"I'm a succubus, I make googly eyes at anyone with sexual energy."
"Keep talking, Succy. Dig that hole a little deeper."
Bo smiled and drew another sip from her beer. "Oh, that I could be a fly on the wall," she shook her head and sighed.
"She's gonna pick you. You're the human-loving succubus and she's the fae-loving doctor-Match made in heaven, much?" Kenzi crunched a potato chip.
Bo opened another beer. "It's your turn to deal."
"Prepare yourself, this could get embarrassing." Kenzi cracked her knuckles again for effect and shuffled the deck.
Finally, a knock came from the door, quiet and tentative.
"Hold that thought." Bo took another swig from her beer before she jumped up and headed to the door. She opened it quickly, if not desperately and there stood Lauren, face red. She had obviously been crying.
Lauren had attempted to clean herself up in the rearview mirror of her car before coming to the door, but the confusion and trepidation in Bo's expression told her she hadn't done a very good job.
"Hi," Lauren whispered.
Bo smiled. "Hi."