Let Sleeping Logans Lie
Summary: A few of the boys at the Institute find Logan asleep on the couch and have fun torturing him. Mayhem ensues.
Disclaimer: Um, no.
It was a peaceful Sunday afternoon. The students didn't have school, DR sessions, or anything. They were free, and that meant the teachers were free as well. Storm and Hank relaxed together in the kitchen, and the professor decided sit outside and soak up some sun. Logan slept on the living room couch.
He had been doing DR sessions all week and was totally and completely exhausted. After putting up with distracted kids, explosions, and more distracted, annoying kids, he was ready for a break.
~Elsewhere in the mansion~
Bobby, Kurt, and Evan were on their way to find some girls. They were bored and wanted to bother their lady friends for amusement. As the boys slipped through the living room, they all heard a loud snore. Kurt's ears laid back on his head a little.
"Shh, hear that?" Bobby asked, sneaking closer to the source. The other crept closer as well, and they discovered a sleeping Logan. The boys looked at each other and grinned. Logan never just lay around, but there he was, sound asleep on the living room couch. It was too good to pass up. Some mutual, unspoken ideas passed between the boys as they all stared at each other, and they nodded simultaneously.
"Here," Evan whispered, pulling a marker out of his pocket. Kurt and Bobby stared at it, their eyes large and sparkly. They saw where this was going.
Kurt decided to be the sacrificial lamb, so he took the marker and crept around to the front of the couch. Logan's face was partially exposed, and Kurt glanced at it as he uncapped the black marker.
Thirty tedious, tense seconds later, he stepped back. His work there was done. He'd drawn a curly mustache on Logan's upper lip and had given him a tiny, pointed beard on his chin. In addition, he'd written I love ponies on his check.
The boys had to cover their mouths to contain their laughter. "He didn't vake up," Kurt pointed out in a whisper. They shrugged.
Just then, a light bulb seemed to go off in Bobby's mind. He mouthed, "You guys ever cow tipped before?" Kurt and Evan nodded. They'd never done it, but they both knew what it was.
"Well…..couch tipping," Bobby whispered, looking from his friends to Logan's sleeping form.
"Aaahhh," Kurt and Evan mouthed back, their eyes narrowing with glee at the thought. So all three of them moved behind the couch and gave it a push. It tipped, rocked back, then finally went forward and over. Logan rolled off the couch with a loud, unharmonious thud.
"Gah!" he screamed, waking up. His eyes were blood shot and angry. He looked up to see three boys running off. He stumbled to his feet and ran after them.
"Someone's gonna be hurtin in a minute," he cried. "I'm gonna rip your lungs out."
Kurt, Evan, and Bobby had managed to escape Logan's wrath. Logan, of course, had made a fool of himself by running around the mansion with doodles and I Love Ponies written all over his face. Storm had kindly, though warily, pointed it out to him. Logan had a good mind to kill Kurt, Evan, and Bobby, but he was tired. So he locked himself in his room and went back to sleep.
"Why am I helping you guys again?" Kitty whispered. She plus the three guys were crouched outside Logan's room.
"We're having fun with Logan. We need you to get us in his room," Evan explained in a low hiss.
"What do you mean by 'fun'?" Kitty asked, narrowing her eyes.
"You mean you didn't see Logan running through ze mansion vith doodles all over his face earlier?" Kurt asked, grinning widely.
Kitty cracked a smile. "No, but it sounds like I missed a good show. What else can I do to help?"
"Just get us in his room, first."
So Kitty phased the four of them through the door. Inside, Logan was sleeping peacefully. His face had been washed off, and he was curled up under his covers. He looked so calm. If only he knew what was coming.
Careful not to talk or make any noise, the boys set to work. Evan opened up a satchel he'd brought along and removed a pair of cymbals. At this, Kitty put her hands over her mouth and laughed to herself. Her eyes were wide.
"Oh my gosh," she mouthed. Evan smiled at her and wiggled his eyebrows.
He got close to Logan's head and prepared himself. Kitty had a hand on him and the others so she could phase them through the floor. Then, Evan spread his arms wide and brought them slamming together. The cymbals made a horrible, banging, dissonant sound that vibrated through the room. Instantly, Logan shot up, and screamed.
"Not again!" he shrieked. He gave the four teens death glares that could curdle milk. "You're all gonna die now!" he cried, jumping out of bed. Quickly, Kitty phased herself and the boys through the floor, leaving Logan alone and cursing in his room. Kitty, Evan, Kurt, and Bobby were standing in the library. They could hear Logan running around one floor above them.
"We'd better hide," Kitty suggested, breathing quickly from the exhilarating experience.
"Yeah, no kidding," Bobby agreed. "C'mon. I know a place that's sure to be safe."
They left the library and ran down the hall into the main room. "We need to go outside," Bobby said.
So the four ran outside and hid in a large tree together. After a time, they heard Logan pass by, but he didn't see them. Eventually, he went back inside. After waiting for a few minutes, they slid out of the tree one at a time.
"Now vhat?" Kurt asked, dusting tree bark flecks off his shirt.
"We go back for round three?" Bobby offered.
"Aww, shouldn't we let Logan, like, sleep for a bit?" Kitty wondered.
"Nah," the boys said together.
Logan was curled up on the couch in the professor's office. The couch was soft, warm, and most importantly, away from annoying kids who might disturb his sleep. The professor had offered Logan his office as a place to sleep because it was quiet and safe. Logan had eagerly agreed, just looking for a few minutes of sleep. He was out like a light as soon as he hit the couch.
He slept lightly, but peacefully. The only thing he could hear was the sound of his own breathing and the wind outside. Just then, there was a tiny rapping sound. It was coming from the nearby window. It came again, and again, louder and louder. Finally, Logan sat up and covered his ears. "God, what is that"—he trailed off. In the window, he could see Kurt, Bobby, and Kitty's faces. They were hovering right outside the second floor window somehow, tapping it with their fingers. When they saw him, they grinned before disappearing.
"Ahhh!" Logan cried. "I'm never gonna get any damn sleep!" And he got up off the couch and stalked off. That does it, he thought bitterly. I'm gettin' myself a hotel room!
Hey, hope this made someone's day. Review if this made you laugh. :)
-The Ember Raven