KissMeDeadlyT-T: Helloooooo, overused plot! How you doin'? ;)

No... I don't usually talk to my fics. But really, this idea is so sadly overused and I know that every category in fanfiction must have at least one of these, so I don't even know why I'm using it... My jar of creative ideas is lacking in, well, creativity. I SUCK. But I really wanted to write it! So phooey!

I don't have much else to say besides:

-I DO NOT own Naruto... unfortunately. If I did, well, Sasuke and Naruto would end up together, and Sai would die a bloody, painful, gruesome death. :D (I hate him... don't know why...) Also, kiddies wouldn't be able to watch it. xD

-This would be about a year after Naruto rescued Sasuke and he came back to Konoha. Let us say that Sasuke is... nicer. Yeah. He still has dark feelings though.

-Rating: M

- Set after Shippuden. There is stupidity. There is swearing. More importantly, there is yaoi. NarutoxSasuke mostly but with other side pairings.


The sun was setting over the dark green trees of Konoha, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, casting a bright orange glow over buildings and plants and making everything look just a little magical and otherworldly. Faintly, twinkling stars were shining in the dark part of the sky, where the sun's rays didn't reach, dotting the dark sky like diamonds on black velvet. Birds tweeted and cicadas chirped as the residents of the village began making their way home for the evening, the streets becoming clear of everything except for abandoned shops and little dust devils of swirling sand in the dusk's breeze.

It was quiet in the town as the last few people went inside and the village settled down for the night. Anyone looking on would have thought that this was a beautiful, peaceful night, with no one to stir up any trouble or break the serenity the night had created.

However, that wasn't the case everywhere in Konoha. Past some trees and down a few rocky dirt paths, there was a huge building. The lights were on and a load of laughter and talking poured out of the opened sliding doors, which were each adorned with a red and white symbol. This was perhaps the liveliest the Uchiha estate had been in a long time.

Inside, there were quite a few young shinobi nestled in the spacious living room; Shikamaru, Chōji, Shino, Kiba, with Akamaru of course, and Sai were lounging around the coffee table in the middle of the room, which had a variety of snacks scattered on it. The last four were watching amusedly and laughing as Shikamaru and Chōji fought over the last chocolate chip cookie. Sakura and Ino, the only girls, were trying to put pigtails in Naruto's unruly blond spiky hair (for whatever reason). The blond was protesting much louder than necessary, but since this was the usual for him, no one really paid much attention. Beside the fireplace Gaara and Neji were talking as Neji idly made shadows with his hands in the glow of the fire. In the corner, Kiba had set up a little radio and Konoha's only radio station was blaring some random, beaty song that was supposedly 'today's best music'. It was so loud in the house that it was impossible to discern what anyone was saying unless you were right beside them, and even then, you had to speak loudly. Sasuke would hate to hear what it would be like if even just one more person showed up.

Which was why, at that moment, he was sitting in the opposite corner of the couch on which Naruto was still being tortured, seriously wondering why the hell he'd even returned to Konoha. At least when he was with the Akatsuki, which had fallen now, along with Madara, it was quiet and he didn't have to deal with a bunch of annoying shinobi. Besides Karin and Suigetsu, but he ignored them. He watched everyone with the beginnings of homicidal urges; He didn't like loudness (other than Naruto, but he sort of forced everyone to accept that, so he didn't really count), or big groups of people for that matter.

Plus, he was pretty sure everyone here still resented him for what he'd done. While he understood why, it was still awkward. No one had straight up said anything, but there was a sort of pressure in the air and he knew it was because of him.


Before the Uchiha could even turn his head towards the familiar raspy voice, he was suddenly tackled into a huge bear hug, blond hair squishing against his face as Naruto attempted to sit on his lap. Sasuke spat out a mouthful of hair, noted the pigtails, and glared, but his stomach fluttered. He's why I came back. I must love to torture myself...

"What?" he said flatly.

"Oh, stop being such a downer." Naruto frowned, his blue eyes squinting. "Why so mopey, teme?"

Sasuke snorted at the nickname. "Well, maybe the fact that someone decided it was a great idea to invite half of Konoha to my house for some awkward 'let's celebrate Sasuke getting out of prison even though we all still hate him' get-together, without even asking me first, has something to do with it."

"I think that's the most you've ever said before." Naruto waved it off. "But jeeze, stop griping, bastard. No one here hates you. Sure, they might wanna kick your ass and rough you up a bit—" He stopped when he noticed how Sasuke suddenly looked down, biting his bottom lip. Panicking, he tried to cover his mistake by laughing loudly and adding, "Plus, this isn't even a hundredth of Konoha."

"That's not really my point." Sasuke sighed. "Can you get off of me? Your ass is bony."

Naruto laughed and threw his arms around the irritated raven haired teen, who stiffened at the sudden proximity of their faces. "How I missed you and your constant complaints." His smile was crooked and their noses were almost touching. "I'm so damn glad you're back, Sasuke... Even if no one else was, which they are, I am." His overly expressive eyes shone with happiness.

A weird warm and fuzzy feeling stirred in the depths of Sasuke's stomach. He was such a sucker for those eyes. "Yeah..." he muttered, gently pushing Naruto away. He couldn't stop the tiny smile that curled his lips as he whispered, "Same."

The blond grinned and settled himself beside Sasuke, closer than necessary, but it didn't really bother Sasuke; he actually liked having Naruto around. Ever since he'd (reluctantly) returned to Konoha, which he still held a terrible grudge against, and had gotten out of prison on good behaviour and the, uhm, kindness of the Hokage Lady Tsunade's heart, Naruto had been terribly clingy, unwilling to leave Sasuke's side for even an hour. Even when he'd been behind bars, Naruto had visited every day, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends. Sasuke didn't get annoyed like he would have if it had been anyone else—Naruto was a constant reminder of all the trouble he'd gone through to finally find an inkling of peace, the anchor that had kept his from completely falling into the darkness that Uchiha Madara had brewed in his heart, and was proof that someone really, truly cared for him. Not to mention the feelings that had been stirring within him lately...

"So," Naruto said cheerfully, interrupting his thoughts, "Sakura said she was planning on playing Truth or Dare soon. Are you gonna join in or are you gonna sit here and emo in your corner?"

Sasuke rolled his black eyes. "I don't 'emo', idiot." He was silent for a moment. "Well, maybe I do sometimes." Naruto snickered, but Sasuke ignored him. "Anyways, I don't want to play a stupid middle school game."

"Aw, come on! It'll be fun!"






"Plleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaseeeee —"

"Holy shit, fine. Just shut up."

Naruto grinned. "Deal."

Just then, Sakura whistled loudly to catch everyone's attention, then announced, "Okay, guys! Time for Truth or Dare!"

Everyone groaned. "Really, Sakura?" Shikamaru muttered, sitting up and rubbing his neck. "We're nearly adults now."

"Shut up, Shikamaru," Sakura said sweetly, smiling. The brunet grumbled something to Chōji and they both started sniggering, which earned them a death glare from Sakura that instantaneously made them shut up. The kunoichi continued as though nothing had happened. "There'll be a twist. When you dare someone, it can be a double dare. Like, for example... I could dare Chōji and Kiba to kiss."

Chōji spat out the cracker he was chewing on, gagging, and Kiba made a retching sound. "Oh hell no!" he yelled, squishing his face up. "I ain't kissing anyone!"

Even Sasuke had to chuckle. "Naruto," he muttered darkly with a small smile, "I'd rather slit my own throat than play this game."

Naruto rolled his blue eyes and grabbed Sasuke's wrist, dragging him over to where the rest of the group had gathered. Sasuke grumbled but otherwise didn't complain, sitting cross-legged beside Naruto as they all formed a circle. Sakura was still talking, perched between Ino and Chōji. "If you don't do the dare, you have to do a truth. And, when you do a truth, if you refuse to answer, there'll be consequences."

Neji raised his hand. "What kind of consequences?"

Before Sakura could answer, Ino leaned over and rested her elbow on the pink haired girl's shoulder. She smirked. "If you don't answer, you have to remove an article of clothing. Simple? yes. Overused? Yes. Funny? Hell yes."

Sasuke had half a mind to boot them all out of his house. He refrained from doing so only because of the fierce glare Naruto sent his way and the elbow to the gut the blond decided was necessary to get his point across. He crossed his arms, sighing wearily. This didn't sound like fun at all.

"Ah," Gaara said, calmly. "I'm leaving." He started to stand up, but Neji grabbed him and forced him to sit back down.

"No you're not."

Gaara looked at him flatly. "I'm Kazekage... I have business to attend to."

"Liar!" Ino screeched, practically pouncing on the redhead. "I can tell when you're lying! You have to take something off if you lie, too! Unless you decide to fess up. Who's in?"

A lot of people looked like they wanted to back out, but no one felt up to facing the two kunoichi when they were angry. Girls were scary on their own, but add ninja skills to that, and you were pretty much fucked. Sasuke and Gaara both looked about ready to bolt it out of there, but they were both held down by their respective best friends.

"It's a shame Hinata and Lee and the others couldn't make it," Kiba said, petting Akamaru's head. "They're gonna miss out on us making asses of ourselves."

Sai put his chin on his knees. "It's their loss."

Sasuke shifted a bit beside Naruto. The blond looked over to see him glowering. "What?" he whispered, following Sasuke's black gaze. "Did Sai do something?"

"No... forget it." As long as Sai kept his eyes away from a certain someone, Sasuke was fine. "It's nothing."

Naruto shrugged. "Whaatever."

"So who's gonna start?" Shikamaru was asking. "I wanna get this over with and sleep."

"When do you not want to sleep, you lazy ass?" Kiba muttered.

"Shut up, guys," Chōji suggested.

"I'll start!" Sakura exclaimed before it could turn into a three way squabble. "Alright, soo... Neji! Truth or dare?"


Sakura thought for a minute, then asked, "Do you still have a crush on Ino?(1)"

Neji furrowed his eyebrows, his lavender eyes squinting. "Not anymore. I never really actually did. So now I have to ask someone, right, Sakura?" he asked. When she nodded, he pursed his lips, and then turned to Shino. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare, I guess."

"Take off your sunglasses and pull down that sweater so we can see what you really look like."

Shino hesitated, but after a moment, he sighed, lowered his sweater and slipped his sunglasses off, revealing light, almost mercury colored eyes and a strong jaw set in irritation. He was frowning rather deeply. There was a collective gasp.

"Oh my," Ino said weakly. "I didn't know you were so hot, Shino..."

"Yeah!" Kiba agreed, his eyes wide. "Why do you always cover your face?"


"You should show people what you look like! You're really cute," Ino said, still a bit shocked. Kiba nodded, looking like a bobblehead. He seemed more surprised than anyone else, and if Sasuke wasn't mistaken, the dog-nin was blushing a bit, too.

Shino shrugged, covering up again. "Well, then, Ino. Truth or dare?"

"Dare... no, truth. No... yeah."



"Truth... Hmmm. Is it true that you got so obsessed with Sasuke back in middle school that you hid in his bushes and took pictures when he was getting dressed or sleeping?"

Sasuke nearly choked on his spit. "Say what?"

Ino blushed, nearly the same shade as Gaara's hair. "I-I—of course not!" When everyone stared at her, she winced and muttered, "Well... I'm sorry, Sasuke. It's true."

Sasuke just shut his eyes and muttered, "I feel so violated."

"I don't have them anymore, if that helps," she said nervously.

Not really, Sasuke wanted to snap, but he resisted. It was a good thing he'd learned how to control his patience otherwise he was fairly sure there would be an unthinkable number of casualties... "Whatever." He wasn't that surprised, to be honest. Ino swallowed one more time, still blushing darkly, and stuttered, "Um, m-moving on... Truth or dare Naruto?"

"Dare! Duh!" Naruto said loudly like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I dare you to... to... well actually I only had a truth planned out so... I dare you to tell me the truth—Who do you like?"

"Uh, are you retarded?" Naruto raised his eyebrows. "Sakura."

Ino studied him as Sakura sighed. "You're lying," the blonde said.

"What?" he demanded. "No—"

"Yeah you are. You don't like her anymore?"

Naruto avoided her eyes and the question, shifting uncomfortably. "I only have to answer one question."

"But you didn't answer it, so now you have to do a truth," Shikamaru pointed out. He grabbed a chip from Chōji and popped it into his mouth, ignoring Naruto's glare.

"Fine then." Naruto squinted suspiciously at him and Ino. "Whataya wanna ask?"

"Who do you like? For real?"

Immediately Naruto unzipped his bright blue hoodie and threw it behind him, leaving himself in just a bright neon orange t-shirt. Sasuke raised an eyebrow with a sort of unattached interest; it figured. Even though he wasn't wearing that horrendous jumpsuit for once in his life, there was no escaping that sickening shade of orange. It was sort of endearing, though, as unappealing as it was.

"You don't get to know that, Ino," Naruto said, grinning. He ignored her pout and looked over at Sai. "Truth or dare?"

"Hmm... dare."

"I dare you to draw a yaoi picture of Chōji and Shikamaru and make it come to life and perform yaoi acts! Hahaha!"

As Chōji and Shikamaru loudly shouted and sputtered their very strong and negative opinions on this dare, Sai put a thoughtful to his lips. "...I don't want to waste my ink of that, but... fine." He grabbed a pad of paper and a pen from who knows where and started sketching. Shikamaru stood up, flushing and ready to attack Sai, but Ino shot him a Look that made his grumble and sit back down.

"Anyone who tries to interfere with another person's dare has to take off two things." Sakura smiled. Everyone stared in disbelief.

"That's not fair," Gaara murmured.

"Yeah! You can't make up rules in the middle of the game," Kiba complained.

"I just did."

Shikamaru hid his face in his hands. "I can't watch..." he groaned.

Chōji looked equally displeased and squeezed his eyes shut, looking faintly green. "Thanks to you guys I'm never gonna be able to look at my best friend the same."

Naruto laughed like a maniac as Sai set his pen down and two white figures peeled off of his paper, forming in the middle of the circle. Everyone watched, trying not to burst out in snickers, as the paper Shikamaru teased the paper Chōji, running fingers of ink down the other drawing's pudgier body, his eyelids half shut and lips curled up in a seductive smirk that the real Shikamaru would never be caught dead making. The Chōji copy's face had multiple lines across the bridge of his nose and his swirly cheeks, indicating a fierce blush, and had a face that you'd probably only ever see in a yaoi hentai manga. The sketches went to kiss, but before anything could happen, a kunai went straight through them, landing sticking up in the ground, and they disappeared in a puff. Shikamaru glowered and yanked it out of the floor, throwing his green vest and black undershirt aside. Sasuke stared at the hole the kunai left in his floor with a great amount of annoyance.

"I will fucking murder your firstborn child, Naruto, and eat it with a piece of garlic toast." Shikamaru muttered darkly.

Everyone burst out laughing as Shikamaru glared daggers. Naruto wiped a tear from his eye and tried to breathe through his sniggers.

"Your reaction... was ten times funnier... than the dare itself!" he said through gasps, clutching his sides. Never before had Shikamaru and Chōji looked so absolutely mortified. Once the laughter died down and the victims' fierce blushes were more or less gone, Sai looked Sasuke in the eye.

"Truth or dare, Uchiha?"

Too cranky to do a dare, Sasuke picked truth. Sai smiled that creepy emotionless smile and asked, "If you could have sex with anyone in this room, who would it be?"

A collective "oooooooh" sounded around the room as Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Naruto elbowed him in the side.

"Yeah, teme, whooooo?" he taunted.

Sasuke calmly said, "No one. You all suck."

"That's a good thing, if you think about it," Kiba muttered. Most of the guys in the room nodded in agreement.

Ino and Sakura both pounced on Sasuke, knocking him backwards. "Liar!"

Sasuke looked up at them with his best poker face. "I'm not lying."

"We're not stupid!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Yeah, you got it baaaaaaad for someone in here! Like Jeeze! We can practically smell the testosterone roiling off of you!" Ino added.

"So who is it?" Sakura asked. Listening to them was like watching a ping-pong game. "You have to answer, or strip. You chose a bad day to not wear a lot of clothes, Sasuke..."

"You two are evil," Sasuke muttered, pushing himself up and none-too-gently shoving the kunoichi off of him. It wasn't much of an insult coming from him, he knew, but whatever... He wordlessly slipped his dark blue shirt over his head and tossed it beside Naruto's discarded hoodie. "I'm definitely not answering," he said shortly as Sakura and Ino drooled. It was chilly against his bare chest and stomach, but he'd rather deal with that than tell everyone who he'd very muchly like to have in his bed. The blond in question draped an arm over his shoulder.

"Oi, teme," he said cheekily, "you look cold. Wanna hug?"

"Fuck off and die."

This got another round of snickers. Sasuke resisted the urge to feel warm and fuzzy inside because it felt like he was finally being accepted again; no, Uchihas did not do warm and fuzzy, and Sasuke certainly wasn't an exception. He pointedly ignored the Kunoichi drooling and tried to choose someone who hadn't gone yet; Gaara, Kiba, Sakura, Shikamaru or Chōji (although the last two had been embarrassed enough already, so he decided to spare them).

"Gaara," he said after a moment of thinking. The redhead shrunk back, groaning.

"Uhh... truth, I guess."

"You all suck!" Kiba shrieked before Sasuke could even think of a question. "The only ones who did a dare are Shino and Sai!"

"Hey!" Naruto said. "I did one!"

"You chickened out."

"You little prick, you would've done the same!"


Gaara jerked his head Kiba's way while the two morons were arguing, his eyes widening somewhat pleadingly. The Uchiha smirked a bit, nodding. Kiba wanted a dare? He'd get one, then. Sasuke's face took on a deep, pensive look, his eyes becoming mostly blank. He hadn't missed the somewhat lusty look in Kiba's eyes when Shino had taken off his sunglasses and sweater earlier. Finally, his cool, inky black gaze settled in on the cocky dark brown one of Kiba's grinning face. "Okay, then, Kiba; I'm guessing you're gonna choose dare?"

"Damn straight."

"It involves Shino."

"Hey, wait," Shino interrupted quietly. "Do I have any say in this?"

"No," Naruto replied for Sasuke. The black haired teen smirked as Kiba raised his eyebrows.

"As I was saying, you and Shino have to make out until someone tells you to stop."

Kiba's grin faltered. "Uhh... I'm not into Shino like that..." he said nervously. Behind him, Akamaru made a whining sound, like he agreed. Shino just tugged his sweater up.

"You think I'm onto Shikamaru like 'that'?" Chōji screeched. "I had to put up with seeing myself get it on with him, and we were naked! At least you can keep your clothes on! Man up and do the fucking dare!"

"Seriously," Shikamaru grumbled.

"Yeah, Kiba." Naruto joined in on the taunting "Or are you not man enough to do it?"

"I am a man! That's my point!"

"Then strip."

"No! I don't back down, I'm not a pussy like someone!"

Naruto ignored that, snickered and started chanting, "Kiba! Kiba!" over and over again. Sakura joined in, then Chōji and Shikamaru, followed by Ino. Shino looked horrified and terribly awkward as he slowly pulled down his sweater away from his mouth, but kept his sunglasses on. Sasuke, Neji, Sai and Gaara just watched as everyone chanted louder and louder, and Kiba finally swallowed and set his eyebrows in determination. He turned to Shino, blushing darkly under the red fang marks on his cheeks, and kneeled there awkwardly.

"You can back out," Sai called out to him. Kiba shot him a glare.

"Heck no. I don't back out, I said. I'll do this..." Still blushing so hard he sorta looked like a tomato, he leaned forward, approaching the other shinobi slowly. Shino looked like he was about to pass out, but he gulped, grabbed Kiba by the shoulders, and like he was trying to do it too fast to regret it, he pressed their lips together. Everyone 'ooh'ed and watched in the same way you'd watch a train wreck; you didn't want to see, but you couldn't tear your eyes away.

They both seemed determined to show that they could do this dare with no problem. Shino slipped his tongue into Kiba's mouth and teased the edge of his pants with spidery fingers, making the smaller brunet moan and fight back, thrusting his own tongue against Shino's as his face slowly faded from confidently determined to the beginnings of desperation. Who would have thought that the stony, generally emotionless Shino would have been able to be so assertive and dominant? It didn't seem to be a dare anymore as Shino ran his hands up and under Kiba's shirt, bunching it up around the brunet's chest as he started to rub the bared skin softly. An animalistic growl rumbled in Kiba's throat. Naruto made a sound, blushing, and looked at everything except for the two shinobi making out, and Sasuke. Mostly Sasuke. After another second, Shikamaru blurted, "Omigod! Stop! My eyes are burning!"

"Get a room!" Naruto yelled. "You look like you're gonna tear each others' clothes off," he muttered, grimacing.

Kiba tore away from Shino, panting slightly, and licked his lips. His eyes focused on the whole circle staring, and he blushed, yanking his shirt back into place. Shino quickly replaced sweater, higher than usual, but everyone could see how red his face was.

"Well, that was disturbing enough to last me a lifetime," Gaara commented, pinching the bridge of his nose. He stood up. "I'm leaving. I have a meeting tomorrow and I'm getting tired. No, Ino, I'm not lying. I want to go to bed." He looked down at Neji, his voice taking on a distinctly purr-like tone. "Are you coming, Hyuuga?"

Neji flushed a bit, but he nodded. "Yeah. See you guys." They left rather quickly, not even waiting for a goodbye.

"...Well," Sakura said. "That was strange. Why would Neji leave with Gaara if—ohhh." Her eyes widened and she stared at everyone like she'd just discovered the answer to life. "You guys don't think they're... you know..."

"Neji did seem like he had a thing for someone else... and they were awfully cozy by the fire..." Ino said slowly. Both kunoichi blushed faintly, their eyes taking on a faraway look.

"You know it could be the fact that Neji is the ambassador or whatever from Konoha, and sometimes Gaara needs his for business between Konoha and Suna," Sai put in, but Naruto shook his head.

"No way, Gaara wouldn't have spoken all—you know, like, ooh la la bay-beee if all he needed was to do some business."

"Well, I think they were just all hot n' bothered from my and Shino's lovely little display of PDA,"Kiba said cheekily, looking pretty damned happy. Shino muttered something under his breath, and a moment later Kiba slapped his arm and yelped, "Yowch! Jeeze! Sasuke, you got some crazy mosquitoes in here!" Shino's eyes glinted behind his sunglasses sinisterly. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"I chose a good dare, didn't I?"

Kiba stuck his tongue out. "Shut it. I'm not answering any questions until it's my turn." It was hard to tell, but Shino looked pleased too. It seemed they were learning a lot of new things with this little game...


Roughly two hours later, when the sun was set and even the cicadas retired for the night, their game of Truth or Dare was still going steady. The only light came from the lanterns hanging on the white walls, and the chill of the night was seeping into the house.

Sasuke couldn't help but stare at the sliding doors, imagining the wooden balcony on the other side where he used to sit with Itachi so many years ago. His heart made a painful squeezing motion, and he ground his teeth as a lump formed in his throat; he had to stop thinking about it. He really didn't need to go out on some revenge-crazed journey again and make Naruto go through Hell and more to get him back. So he ignored the angry stinging in his eyes, swallowed thickly, and focused on the game.

Naruto was down to his boxers—orange ones, of course— and thin white undershirt, Kiba to his dark blue sweat pants, Sai to his black slacks, Shino to his second sweater, sunglasses and boxers. Sakura had just lost her shirt and was stuck in her bra and shorts. Ino and Sasuke were more or less the same, just minus their socks. Shikamaru and Chōji had long since fallen asleep, and the circle had shrunk down the seven shinobi.

Without clothes, it was cold. Sasuke had left to turn on the furnace but it had yet to kick in, so they were all huddled closer together than they normally would be. As his arm brushed against Naruto's darker, toned one, Sasuke felt a shiver go up his spine, and he was glad he was able to blame it on the temperature.

"Kiba, I haaaate you!" Sakura was complaining, trying to cover herself with her arms. "I'm freezing!"

"You're the one who came up with this," the dog-nin pointed out. "If it weren't for your rule of stripping, we wouldn't be freezing our asses off like this."

"Whatever... Truth or dare, Ino?"


"Strip to your underwear and go to Kakashi-sensei's house and try to seduce him. It's not far from here, right?"

Ino stared. "...Are you stupid?"

"What?" Sakura asked, looking shocked. "Why?"

"Sakura..." Naruto said. He squinted his eyes. "You can't tell me you don't know."

"What? What?" she demanded.

"Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei are together," Kiba said, his tone adding a 'duuuuhhh' to the end.

"Even I knew that," Sasuke muttered. Shino and Sai made sounds of agreement.

Sakura paled. "No way."

"Actually," Naruto mused, glancing at the analog clock hanging on the wall opposite him, "at this time of night... it wouldn't be safe to walk into his house. Kakashi-sensei is scary when you interrupt their—er, personal time."

"A woman in her bra and panties ain't gonna do anything but make him go soft, if you know what I mean." Kiba waggled his eyebrows.

"But... but... Kakashi and Iruka?" Sakura squealed as her pale cheeks suddenly flushed darkly as what Kiba and Naruto were saying dawned on her. "Kakashi-sensei is... he's... they're gay? Since... since when?"

"About a year," Kiba said, shaking his hand in a 'roughly' gesture.

"Since a bit before Sasuke returned to Konoha," Sai supplied. Sasuke wondered with a vague irritation why Sai was keeping accounts on how long he'd been back. There was just something about that artist that rubbed his the wrong way. Plus... the way he looked at Naruto sometimes, like the blond was some delicacy he'd like to eat... Sasuke very much wanted to use his chidori and fry the hell out of that motherfucker for even thinking it. Of course Naruto didn't belong to him, but he still felt strongly possessive over him. He realized he was glaring, and Kiba was observing him oddly, and looked away as Sai finished, "So, just over a year."

"Why are all the guys in this village gay?" Sakura demanded in frustration. "Gaara... well, he's not from here, but you get my point, and Neji, let's assume, Shino and Kiba—"

Shino cleared his throat. "What?"

"Yeah!" Kiba yelled, turning beet red. "We're not—I don't, I mean we don't—" His eyes flickered Shino's way, and upon seeing the older ninja look coolly (with a hint of a flush) back, he laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. "Just 'cause we made out doesn't mean—"

"Oh, shut up," Sasuke said, almost boredly. "We all saw you two. Were you trying to eat each others' faces?"

"I felt like my eyes were being raped," Naruto agreed. "I'm pretty sure you two were about to have raging passionate man sex right here in the middle of Sasuke's living room."

"And since I don't relinquish the thought of cleaning cum out of my carpet, keep it in your pants, or have the decency to leave," Sasuke added, raising an eyebrow. A collective snicker went around the circle as Kiba flushed darker than ever before and hid his face in his fluffy hood. It almost made Sasuke smile, since everyone was so obviously not thinking about what Uchiha Sasuke the Traitor had done the past few years and just thinking of him as plain old Sasuke, but he didn't like feeling so warm and happy, since it was pretty much completely foreign. He covered it up with a smirk instead as Kiba started protesting loudly.

"Sasuke... you... you guys—bllaaaghh!" he sputtered. Shino sighed.

"Back to the point!" Sakura frowned. "Don't go and say you two are gay, too," she said, pointing at Sasuke and Naruto.

"Ya honestly believe I'm gay, Sakura? Who have I been in love with for the past five years? Oh yeah. You!"

"...Yeah, I guess. Sasuke...?"

The Uchiha exhaled loudly. "I don't really know, not that it's any of your business, Sakura." But when it comes to Naruto...

"Sai?" Sakura asked desperately.

He shook his head, his black eyes sliding Naruto's way. "I guess I swing both ways," he said.

Sasuke shot him a Look. Sai just gave him that fake smile, which only served to piss Sasuke off even more. What he really wanted was to test some of the unthinkable, horrifying, grotesquely disturbing torture methods he'd once overheard Orochimaru discussing with Kabuto, just for the fun of seeing Sai's ears bleed from the sound of his own agonized and raw screams. But, well, seeing as how he'd just gotten out of prison on good, normal person behaviour, it probably wasn't his best idea. He clenched his fists, trying to qualm to possessive, jealous feelings that flared to life whenever Sai looked at Naruto like that. And Naruto, being Naruto, didn't notice anything.

"Green is a lovely color for you, Sasuke," Sai said sweetly, his signature creepy fake smile twisting into a nasty smirk.

"Sasuke's not wearing any green..." Ino said slowly.

"I know." The innocent smile was back.

Sasuke ground his teeth together angrily and glared at the floor. Naruto nudged his shoulder, and when Sasuke looked up, the blond was slightly shocked to see the smouldering murderous intent in those inky black eyes. With genuine concern in his own blue ones, he asked quietly, "Are you okay, teme?"

Oh Naruto, you complete idiot. You don't know the half of it. "I'm fine," he said shortly, avoiding the blond's inquisitive eyes.

"Well, if you say so..."

"Ughh, where were we?" Ino muttered.

"Sakura dared you to go seduce Kakashi-sensei," Kiba said.

"Since you can't do that, just go outside and scream that you, Ino Yamanaka, like it up the butt." Sakura made a face at the uncreativity of her own dare, but remained adamant.

Ino scoffed. "You're so immature."

"You gonna do it, or not?"

"Not," Ino said in disgust, stripping off her shirt. Sasuke thought he saw Shikamaru's eyes open for a minute and stare, but when he turned to look, they were closed, but there was a faint flush on his cheeks. The Uchiha snorted a bit, wondering how anyone could really find the soft and shapely body of a woman so attractive. He much preferred a hard, toned body... He hurriedly stopped this train of thought before it could go too far. The only body he wanted was right beside him, and he didn't need his imagination to overreact.

"Shino, truth or dare."

A sigh. "Truth."

"Would you bang Kiba?"

A round of snickers went through the circle. Shino made a thinking sound, then after a long silence, ducked his head and muttered, "...Probably."

"He's not lying!" Ino exclaimed. Kiba stared wide-eyed at Shino for a moment, before blushing and taking a great interest in the material of his pants. Akamaru barked happily, wagging his tail. Kiba shushed him.

"So, yeah... Uh. Sai, truth or dare?" Shino asked, sounding very awkward, not badass and sexy and cool like usual.


"I dare you to try and seduce..." Hidden mercury eyes scanned the circle. "Naruto."

Sasuke froze, his eyes widening. Well, that had been like a slap to the face. Or a kunai to the gut.

"Naruto, you have to try and resist him." Shino crossed his arms, seeming happy to inflict the embarrassment on someone else this time. Naruto tittered nervously. "Whoever wins... gets... free ramen for a week."

Naruto sat up a bit straighter, but he still didn't give in. "That's not fair, I should get a say in this..."

"I didn't get a say when you dared Kiba to kiss me, so I don't see your point."

"Can I just take off my shirt? No offense, Sai... I just..."

Sasuke found himself hoping very much that someone would say yes. When Sakura opened her mouth, he listened very attentively, crossing his fingers behind his back.

"Don't be a baby, Naru-chaaaan," she crooned. Sasuke inwardly groaned. Fuck. She would insult Naruto's pride.

"I'm not a baby!" Naruto yelled indignantly. Sasuke sighed. Here we go... "I just don't wanna kiss Sai! He's not my type!"

"What is your type?" Ino asked.

Naruto blushed. "None of your damn business, Ino!"

"Well, are you gonna do the dare, little baaaabyyy?" Sakura drawled. In this moment Sasuke wanted nothing more than to strangle her, for convincing Naruto to do it, Sai, for being permitted to kiss what Sasuke had already claimed as his own, and Shino for even suggesting this damned dare.


"Just shut the fuck up and do the dare," Shikamaru muttered from where he was curled up on the couch, before rolling over and instantly falling back asleep.

Naruto shot to his feet. "I will! Believe it!"

Oh, believe that I'm gonna murder someone with a rusty old knife if I have to watch this. The Uchiha was strongly tempted to set fire to his house so that they'd have to evacuate and stop this stupid game...! Well, maybe that was a little over-dramatic... but that was how much he did not want Sai's lips on what Sasuke strongly felt should be on his own. Naruto and Sai had met in the middle of the circle by now. The muscles in Naruto's back and arms (which Sasuke was drooling over, by the way) were contracting nervously as Sai straddled his lap smiling faintly. He met Sasuke's outwardly calm but inwardly raging black eyes and licked his lips, smiling wider. Sasuke glared. How did the belly showing freak even know he had a thing for Naruto? He wasn't obvious, was he?

"When do I stop?" Sai asked Shino. The other shinobi shrugged.

"Well, since Naruto's supposed to be resisting, just make him moan or something," Kiba suggested.

"Yeah, don't go too far though," Shino added. "No one wants any free porn."

"Says the guy who molested me," Kiba murmured.

"You liked it."


There were a few chuckles, but everyone was mostly focusing on the dare. Naruto had his eyes shut tight and lips bitten down hard, his head tilted back as Sai nibbled and kissed at the sensitive skin underneath Naruto's ear. A visible shudder ran up the blond's spine and he took a shaky breath through his nose, a light blush dusting across his cheeks. Sasuke nearly ripped his hair out and was thinking of how good an idea it would be to bash his head off the wall a few times or a hundred, when Sai chuckled lowly and ran his hands all over Naruto's quickly rising, clothed chest. He brushed over where his nipples were, and Sasuke twitched a bit at the growl that sounded in Naruto's throat. Sai flashed Sasuke a wicked smile and didn't break eye contact with him as he pinched his fingers, making Naruto grind his teeth together and arch into the touch, his head tossing back. The Uchiha's stomach twisted and he swore he saw red.

"Saa—nn." Naruto quickly stopped himself, biting down hard on his lip.

"What was that?" Sai asked, smiling.


"You can always just give up."

"Hell no. I want free ramen."

Sasuke would have laughed if he wasn't so pissed. Sai carried on, and for a second, Naruto looked back at Sasuke. He met inky black eyes, which were dangerously starting to turn red, churning with something dark, anger and something else Naruto couldn't place. He blushed and snapped his head forward just as Sai slipped his hands under the bottom of Naruto's tight shirt, and flicked his tongue across Naruto's trembling lips. Naruto had to bite back what Sasuke was positive would have been the most delicious sound ever heard by mankind.

And that, that was the last straw. Unable to take the jealousy and, ahem, growing arousal in his pants any longer, Sasuke suddenly stood up and said tonelessly, "I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" Sakura asked.

"Bathroom," he said shortly. He left without another word, storming down one of the many halls in his overly large house. He passed Itachi's room and clenched his jaw, his heart rising into his throat. He shouldn't have come back, shouldn't have remembered what it felt like to have positive emotions and given into them. No matter what he did he couldn't control himself. The best thing to do would have been to stay true to his promise to destroy Konoha and avenge his brother, yet he knew he couldn't do it anymore. Even if he tried, Sasuke wouldn't be able to do anything that would hurt Naruto. Forcing himself to calm down (this really wasn't the time to be thinking about his dead brother, not while he had a painful erection and a lare that could freeze lava). He walked past the closed door and headed to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him.

He stared down at the bulge in his pants, and sighed. I can't believe this... Quickly throwing aside his pride, he shut his eyes, unzipped his pants, and started stroking himself. Thinking of a blond on top of him, kissing him and toying with his body, imagining his hand was bigger and tanned instead of thin and pale, it didn't take long for him to finish. He grabbed some tissue and cleaned up, taking a few deep breaths. Sighing, he leaned over the sink, gripping the sides hard, and stared into the mirror.

The reflection stared back, lips in a fierce lock with teeth and eyes expressing everything he wanted so badly to tell Naruto yet knew he never could. Where had his old self gone? He used to be so good at hiding his emotions, the epitome of the calmness everyone was slightly scared of. Now, it was all he could do to keep his emotions in check, and it took every ounce of his concentration not to turn into a mess of lustful goo whenever he and Naruto were alone. He was pretty sure he'd give anything to have Naruto in his pants, anything to have that gloriously tanned, gorgeous body looming over him, bathed in moonlight and making him more beautiful and surreal than he already was. The reflection frowned, and Sasuke sighed. He didn't know if chakra could change color, but there was an awfully dark green aura about him.

To think this had started with a stupid game of Truth or Dare.

"Stupid dobe," he muttered. "Why you?"

A knock at the door interrupted his brooding. "Who is it?" he asked flatly.


Oh, please do come in, Sasuke thought wildly, his eyes flickering to the sharp scissors that he used to snip at his bangs. They looked perfectly capable to stab someone in the chest. "Go fuck yourself with something long and sharp, Sai." Preferably a katana or spear or something.

"Can you open the door?"

Sasuke was silent, ignoring him in hopes that he'd leave. Sai's presence remained, so he angrily sighed and threw the door open.

"What do you want?" he asked, calmly.

"Just wanted to see if you were okay, you left awfully quickly," Sai said sweetly. Sasuke might have believed him if he wasn't wearing that chilling, fake smile.

"I'm fine."

Sai raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? You didn't seem so fine when you left the room earlier. What's wrong?" Their black eyes met, and Sai smiled some more. "Didn't like seeing Naruto moan for me?"

Sasuke tittered. "Sai..."

"You didn't enjoy the way he shuddered under my touch, biting his lips to hold back—"

"Shut up," Sasuke said darkly. His mangekyō sharingan activated without him even trying. "Or I swear I will kill you. Stay away from Naruto, or you'll find out what I'm really capable of."

"You'd risk going back to prison for the rest of your life, just to get rid of someone who's getting in the way of what isn't yours to begin with?"'

"Don't try me," Sasuke growled. He shoved past an amused looking Sai, heading back to the living room.

"Uchiha," Sai called.

Sasuke didn't answer or stop, but Sai kept talking. "You should know... when Naruto finally broke down and lost it, he moaned your name, not mine. It was too quiet for anyone else to hear, but it was clear to me; he said 'Sasuke'."

The Uchiha froze in his tracks and looked back, eyes wide. Naruto had moaned his name? But why? Sasuke didn't know whether to believe the artist or not. Sai looked sincere, but then again, he never really showed any emotion at all. Sasuke's stomach churned and he sneered. "Is that supposed to be a joke?" he asked coldly.

"Not at all."

Swallowing, Sasuke turned back around. He wanted to believe what Sai had told him, but it was hard to trust the words of someone who'd only ever taunted him and played with his emotions. Without saying a word, he walked away, leaving Sai alone in the dark hallway.


(1)Pretend Neji had a crush on Ino. My friend wanted me to write something that implied they could have been together... and I refuse to write anything more than that.

KissMeDeadlyT-T: Well, one thing. Ino can't really tell that people are lying, right? Let's just say she can... I'm too lazy to go back and change it... :/ I'll try to get the next chapter up as quickly as possible, and after that, I might make this into a multi-chapter story. Who knows...

Oh yeah, and if you have a problem with how I made Sai a giant doucher, please save the complaints; I don't like him, so I'm not gonna make him the nice guy.

Reviews to feed my monster, darlings? :D