Chapter 1

***Elena Point of View***

I am broken. Every inch of me shaking. I sit there, staring at the door, waiting for someone who will never come. They are gone. Both of them. Just like my parents. Now I have four graves to visit, instead of just two. I want to turn it off. I need to stop the pain. It is unbearable. I am empty.

Just then the door opens, and I can't force myself to move. The door hits my feet. I just sit there. Not even paying attention to who walked in. Someone says my name, but I can't move, can't respond. We sit there for hours. Their arms are around me. Them whispering to me, asking me to talk. To show them I am there. I'm not there though. So I don't say a word, I don't move.

Eventually someone picks me up, and carries me up the stairs. They set me on the bed and pull the blankets over me. Then they climb in next to me and hold me tight. I finally let go. The tears I've been holding back spill out. My eyes are blurry and I feel the person next to me stroke my hair. I let out a wimpier and snuggle closer, tears still streaming from my eyes.

"It's okay Elena, I'm here." That's what the person next to me says.


"Yea, it's me."

I turned around and placed my head on his chest. The tears stop. Damon is still stroking my hair, and I fall asleep, not a single dream in sight.

***Damon Point of View***

I was staring, watching the girl I love fall to pieces in my arms. She was usually so strong, even when no one else was. Throughout all of the past, she held her head up high, refusing to show the pain. Now it all came crashing out. Pouring from every place in her heart. I want to make all her pain go away, but all I can do is whisper that everything is going to be okay.

Elena turns in her bed and places her head on my chest. Her crying comes to an end. She moves closer and I hold her tighter in my arms. Soon she is asleep. The pain is washing away from her face as she sleeps. I watch her for a while and then decide to get some sleep myself. With Elena in my arms, I fall into the best sleep I have had in over 150 years.

***Elena Point of View***

As I wake up, I forget about the pain for a minute. All I can think about is Damon lying next to me in my bed. I am in his arms and he holds me tight, like at any minute I'll slip away and be out of reach forever. I stare at his face and wonder how I never noticed how beautiful he is. I reach over and stroke his hair.

All at once, the pain hits me and I remember. I climb out of bed and rush into Jenna's room to make sure. Her room is exactly how she left it, but it is empty. I make my way to Jeremy's room, but slower, because I already know the answer. His room is the same as Jenna's room. I turn on my heel and head downstairs to the kitchen. I go straight to the cabinet that holds the alcohol and took out a bottle of scotch. I remove a small glass from the top cabinet and pour some of the liquid into it. I quickly down it. It feels like fire sliding down my throat, and I like the feeling.

I'm laying on the couch, drowning my sorrows with my sixth glass by the time Damon comes down the stairs. I am totally drunk and can't think straight, which is a good thing, I think. He is in total shock, by the look on his face, to see me drinking. It's usually his 'thing' to drink his sorrows away. I just need something to make it all go away.

"How many glasses have you had?" Damon asks with concern written all over his face. He usually doesn't show this much emotion.

"Like five… or maybe it was six… or seven? Does it matter? You do this all the time."

"Yes it matters. I can handle my alcohol and I know this doesn't help. Only one thing does, and you can't do it, only vampires can."

"Then make me one! I don't want to feel this way! I don't want to feel anything!"

"No Elena. Eventually you want to turn them back on, but it is so hard. It takes years until little by little, they come back. And then all the pain hits you again. It is easier this way. You deal with the pain as it comes."

"I don't care," I am crying now, but I have to prove my point, "if you don't, I'll ask some random vampire to change me. I'll find a way."

That's all it takes. He pulls me into his arms. "I'll turn you. I don't want anyone else touching you."

With that he bites my neck and drinks deeply for a minute. Then he bites his own wrist and instructs me to drink. After a minute, he takes my head in his hands and kisses my forehead. Then he twists.

***Damon Point of View***

I was staring at the lifeless body of the girl I love for an hour before I take her to the boarding house and set her in my bed. I tuck her in and head downstairs. Now I need a drink. I don't get one though. How can I when I just told Elena it doesn't help? I just sit with my head in my hands for what seems like hours.

I hear the door open a while later and see Stefan. God, how am I going to explain this to Stefan? I know they broke up, but she broke up with him and he still loves her.

"What happened?" Stefan asked.

"She wanted all her pain to go away."

"You turned her!? How could you?" Damon can hear the anger in his brother's voice.

"She said she would get some random vampire to turn her if I didn't. I couldn't let that happen. You think I want this. I can't stand knowing that I turned her. Better me then someone else though. God knows you're too good to do it."

"What happens when she wakes up?"

"She'll turn off her emotions and I'll help her transition and eventually, when she is ready, turn them back on."