I decided to change up my writing for a bit. This was done quickly and it's not selfcest.

Betty will never be replace by anyone in Ice King's heart.

Most of this stuff is made up (involving Betty and the lair and a bunch of other stuff)

No one reads this story anyway, so D:

Disclaimer: I don't own Adventure Time or its characters. I just enjoy Ice King. He's the cutest villain ever...well one of them anyway.

Ice King wrote down yet another insult the 13 year old and his dog companion directed towards him. Although no one knew, Ice King collected every insult thrown at him by the clever boy. Many would've probably called him weird; actually he had already been called that—page 15 if he recalled correctly, but it was amusing. The little boy came up with these creative insults so quickly, that Ice King was impressed. He would never admit it to anyone, but Ice King loved his "fights" (if that's what you really call them) with Finn and Jake. The boy had energy and spunk, and the dog was wise beyond his years. At first when the adventurers insulted him, he was a bit hurt, but then he reminded himself they were kids. They knew no better, and they had no idea of the man's past. So instead of taking offense to insult after insult, he praised them.

Each page was divided into three columns, each filled with insult after insult. Right now, Ice King was about three-fourths in his notebook. Right now, he was on the second column, writing down names such as "butt breath" and "fish face". Ice King could remember his first dispute with the small boy. He was so young, yet now he was growing into a young man. Ice King knew that he could be a creep at times. His favorite past time was to kidnap princesses for glob's sake. He grabbed the well hidden ice crystal from his neck and held it up towards the wall. The ice glowed and melted temporarily, showing a top secret room in his ice lair. Finn and Jake must never, ever find this particular room. On the bare desk, he sat the book filled with insults. He then turned towards the only other thing that was in the room: a bulletin board.

Sorrow filled Ice King's being, as he felt his chest well up. His heart ached and staggered in its beating. A lone tear was pulled down by gravity as his face began to uplift in a smile. There was a reason he kidnapped princesses, and there was a reason he always made sure to encounter Finn. Sure, he acted as if his "plans" were foiled when Finn arrived, but it was all an act.

"Oh dear Betty, how could you have fallen in love with a man so coldhearted?" He mumbled as his eyes traveled from picture to picture. Each one displaying her rosy face and a tan skinned man. He touched the center picture which was his old self and her hands interlocked, smiling at the camera. Who had took the picture left his mind, but that was irrelevant. Right now, he was with his princess, and no matter what anyone did, she'd always be his.

"Heh, Betty do I have a story to tell you! See, Finn, yes you know the little adventurer boy? Well boy did I disturb him today!" Ice King began his story as he recounted all the events. He pulled the chair away from the desk and sat it in front of the bulletin board. He laughed as he told her the insults directed towards him. As his story came to a finish, his eyes scrunched up in pain and his mouth fell to a frown. "I know you hate when I mess with the child and his dog, but I know how you liked kids. He reminds of that one little boy you adored so much. You know, I only do this for you right?"

He looked down sullenly, recounting all of the adventures Betty and his old self encountered. Oh, they were the fellow adventurers back in the day. His face lightened up as he remembered something. "Now-a-days, they don't have many chemistry sets. However, I uhh…borrowed one because of your upcoming birthday."

Ice King was startled by a pounding that could be heard even through the secret lair's walls. The distant sounding assured him that they had yet found his secret lair, but was rather at the front door.

"YO ICE KING! GET YOUR STUPID BEARD OUT HERE!" the young boy screamed.

"YEAH! YOU CAN'T GO AROUND STEALIN' PEOPLE'S STUFF, YA BIG LOSER!" his dog also screamed in annoyance.

Ice King looked towards the secret entrance and then back at the bulletin board. He smirked and hurriedly got up leaving the chair in its place. He left his secret room and turned around at the entrance, holding the crystal up. The crystal began to glow, and the ice that once hid the room reappeared.

"HURRY UP ICE KING!" Finn rushed eyes livid as he kept slamming on the ice.

"I'm coming!" Ice King shouted out. Before he left, he grabbed the crystal and put it up to his mouth. He kissed it and whispered, "Looks like I'll have another story for you soon Betty."


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