Sebastian was on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

He hadn't done much else since he had come into his room after their return from McKinley, when his friends – ex friends, probably, whispered his traitorous mind – left him alone with various degrees of hurt and disappointment in their eyes.

He hadn't wanted this… Not like this, anyway. The slushie was supposed to hit Kurt, and, seriously, who didn't close his eyes when he saw one coming to him?

Why did Blaine have to play hero, he asked himself bitterly. Why did he have to push Kurt away?

Because he loves him, his mind answered and Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut.

He knew that! No need for his mind to tell him over and over again!


He didn't look up when the door opened. Only one of his friends – friends? – entered his room without knocking.

He felt Nick sit down beside him on the bed, not touching him.

Sebastian felt empty.

"You didn't tell me you tampered with the slushie," Nick said quietly and Sebastian scoffed.

"Of course I didn't. You would have stopped me." Instead of handing me the damn thing because you thought it would be a great joke. He didn't add the last part, but it hung in the air between them and he knew Nick heard it.

"Yes, I would have," his friend agreed. "Damnit, Bas… You really hurt Blaine."

Sebastian pressed a hand in front of his eyes to prevent himself from tearing up. "I know. Damn, Nick, I know!"

He felt Nick's hand on his arm, rubbing little cirlces into it and he just wanted to curl into the other boy, be only Bas, not Sebastian, the boy who was only in charge and never showed emotions outside of sarcasm. But he couldn't, not right now.

"You need to apologize," Nick told him and Sebastian shook his head.

"He won't listen to me," he answered sadly. "He won't pick up his phone…"

"Of course not, you idiot," Nick chuckled, more from morbid humor, probably. "Right now he's angry, and hurt and scared. Let it rest a few days and then try again."

He stood up. "I need to go, Warbler meeting. You're excused for today. I'll try and talk to them, they're pretty angry."

Sebastian nodded; he understood.


Before Nick left the room, he sat up, looking hopefully up at the other boy. "Nick… Will you… uhm…"

Nick looked back at him. "I won't have sex with you tonight," he answered and Sebastian's face fell.

Nick continued however. "I will, however, sleep with you tonight. Because I'm your friend, Bas, and I know you need me right now. I'll be back later."

He left and Sebastian fell back on his bed, keeping the tears in again.

Later, he told himself. When Nick is back, I can cry. Because he'll be here with me. I didn't lose him, too.