Hi. This is my second One Piece one shot, requested by Kawaii Neko Nami. I hope you'll all like it, because I had to kill a whole lot of darlings to finish it, and forgive me for some things appearing in the text, grammar, misspellings, appearances, bad jokes and such.

I made a drawing for this fic that can be found on my Deviantart page. I can post a link on my profile if you want.

And that's about it from me for now. Please enjoy :)


Masquerade battle!

Boshi University was having its yearly masquerade party tonight and Portgas D. Anne was nervous. It was her first year in the university and the teachers had announced that this year would be a competition of who had the best outfit and acted according to that outfit. The problem was that she needed to take a boyfriend along, and Anne had no such thing. Instead she was bringing her little brother. It actually wasn't allowed to have a brother as your partner, but Anne was sort of desperate.

The reason was simple; Rivals' competition.

Fooling the teachers that her little brother Luffy was her boyfriend was easy enough; they went under different family names due to adoption, but keeping Luffy from officially calling her "nee-chan" was more of a concern. If he did they'd both be officially thrown out and Anne would be the laughing stock for the rest of her life (at the university).

"Nee-chan?"

"Um?"

"Are you cuter than usual today?"

Anne looked up from the black and dark brown kohl pencils she was choosing between. "Huh?"

Luffy shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Just thought something was different that made you cuter."

Anne blushed and glared at her brother. So Luffy thought she was cute? And cuter than usual? Who did he think he was?

"I don't know, I don't care, and you're not sane. Why in hell did you decide on that character?"

"It suits me, and I think we have a lot in common," Luffy said and grinned.

Anne sighed deeply, decided on dark brown and sat cross-legged in front of Luffy on the floor.

"Be still now, okay. I don't want the dots to smear."

Luffy, still smiling widely, leaned forward and closed his eyes. Good, because Anne blushed like a fool as she put the kohl to his face and made the first dot. And the second, and the third. She continued to slowly and carefully dot Luffy's cheeks and nose until his face was almost as freckled as hers.

"Done. Don't rub your face or they really will smear and totally ruin your look."

"Shishishishi. Thanks, nee-chan."

"What did I tell you?"

"Eh… Oh. I mean An-chan*."

She looked at him with a displeased frown, not only because of that stupid nickname. "Tell me again why you decided to be a girl?"

"But Pippi's cool! Besides, Hipshot is a guy."

That's right, Luffy and Anne was going to a masquerade party together as a very mismatched couple, dressed as characters from completely different universes. Not to mention that both of them were actually cross-dressing.

When Anne had told him he was coming with her to a masquerade party he had immediately decided on Pippi Longstocking. So now he had tufts on both sides of his head and dressed in a green t-shirt under a faded yellow old-fashioned apron that Luffy had sewed a red patch on and a blue pocket. The funny thing was that Luffy's bad/almost non-existent sewing skills was perfect for making that apron and made it look more natural. On his feet he wore a pair of oversized shoes he had borrowed from that friend with the clown dream. If they were friends. Anne had a hard time telling because Buggy was always declaring he hated Luffy and still always gave a helping hand whenever he saw Luffy needed it. Strange guy.

More than that, Luffy also wore a pair of his grandmother's underwear from the beginning of the twentieth century and then a pair of mismatching knee high socks kept up with garters. Seriously! A guy with garters. Anne had screamed when she saw Luffy fix them on the socks.

"But Pippi has them," Luffy had said.

"Where in hell did you find that?"

"Grandma let me have them."

It was rare for Anne to curse Luffy's outrageous grandmother, his only relative, but right then she had. All the way to hell.

Luffy now looked at his older sister with his head tilted. He couldn't figure it out, but there was definitely something different about Anne that made him stare at her. It wasn't the outfit. Luffy hadn't thought she was as cute as now when he last saw her wear it. Just in case he made a double check on that.

Anne had a pair of high-heeled cowboy boots on, jeans, a broad belt with the holsters at each hip holding two cap pistols. Nothing special there. The shape of her legs wasn't very apparent in those jeans. Then she wore a white shirt with red bands around the upper arms, a black vest with gold buttons and a red scarf around her neck. That vest really flattened her. Not that she had much bosom to begin with though. Anne had also made a huge effort to straighten her wavy hair and gel it to lie back on her head. She had worked for a full hour to catch all stray stands of hair that wanted to escape.

No, it wasn't the outfit, Luffy decided. Anne looked good in that, she had always had style so she could look good in anything, but it didn't make her cuter than any other day.

"Hipshot Percussion is the coolest ever," Anne said, breaking through Luffy's train of thought.

"I don't get why you don't think Pippi's cool," he complained.

"I'm not saying she's not cool, but unlike you I don't wanna dress in rags. And please take off the garters."

"But they belong to the outfit."

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Anne threw her hands in the air in a furious motion of giving up before she leaned on the wall muttering the entire irony of the situation. "I'm going to a party dressed as a man with my little brother pretending he's my boyfriend and he decides to dress up as a girl."

Luffy stared at her, not really getting the entire message of his sister's gloom, but he knew he didn't like her being in that hopeless state. She had been acting a little different from usual since she went to the university, serious mood swings and such. Not that she had treated him any different from usual; she was always the tomboyish but gently caring big sister, she just reacted strangely to sometimes stupid things. Poor Luffy couldn't understand it at all.

"Shouldn't we go now? The party starts soon, right?" he asked instead.

"Hm? Oh yeah. We should get going. You done?"

"I'm done! Let's go."

Walking to the door Anne took her black hat and turned to her brother, glaring at the hollow of his throat. Luffy noticed and teasingly put his chin on top his older sister's head.

"Did you have to grow so damn tall?" Anne asked sourly.

Luffy just chuckled. Growing a head taller than his sister was the best that happened in his life, and Anne was cuter from above than below. She had refused to talk to him for three days after he told her that.

"Whatever. Get off me and get going. Don't forget your cell phone."

"Oh, right. I'll go get it."

Anne sighed. Luffy was always careless with that cell phone and forgot to bring it along most of the time. If he did have it on him it was either because he had forgotten to take it out of his pocket after putting it there or because he knew he would have to contact someone when he went out.

She opened the door, putting her hat on. Not the same kind as Hipshot's but she figured it would do. It was at least a cowboy hat.

"I got it, nee-chan," Luffy called and victoriously waved around with the little device.

"Luffy."

"Oh. An-chan."

"That's good. Let's go before we're late."

The air was cool this early spring evening and it was bright outside, unlike this time a month ago. The siblings held hands and Luffy swung them happily, humming Pippi's trademark theme song. Anne took long strides to keep up with her brother and still tried to look cool, not the easiest with her cross-dressing brother at her side swinging their hands like a kid and skipping every now and then. They gained a lot of stares though, some even shamelessly burst out laughing. Anne didn't react. Too used to the staring already after living through more than ten years with it. She didn't want to tell Luffy to stop being childish either. He was because he had too much energy he needed to use, and supressing himself had bad consequences.

The university came in sight and Anne let go of Luffy's hand, hooking her arm under his instead and pulled him a little closer.

"That's it!"

"Huh?"

They had stopped and Luffy pointed at Anne with a face as if he had just figured out the answer to a million dollar question.

"You're nervous!"

Anne stared at him dumbfounded with a lifted eyebrow. "You figured it out just now? Man, brother, I thought…"

Luffy blinked when his sister's eyes widened with horror, then he unexpectedly figured out why she looked like that and snickered.

"What did you call me?"

"I mean… Luffy. Luffy. I thought you knew me well enough to tell how I feel."

"But you're never nervous. Nee-chan is... ops… An-chan is always cool. Now you're really cute."

"Oh. You're still going on about that?" Anne smirked. "I'm impressed you've managed to keep a thought going for so long."

"Mean! Anne is mean!"

The older girl giggled and started walking again. Luffy, not being the sulky unforgiving type, laughed along.

Soon they arrived at the school gym entrance where no other than the principal's pretty secretary stood on guard with a list in her hands.

"Califa-san," Anne greeted, sounding respectful for once. She had been sent to the principal's office a few times already, not her fault, and had gotten to see a bit too much of this woman.

"Oh. You're the short one with the attitude."

See what I mean. "Go to hell. You're the one with a problem."

"I can scratch you from the list of guests and send you straight home."

Anne gritted her teeth and swallowed her screaming pride. "Please don't. Forgive my rudeness."

Califa straightened her back and glasses, wallowing in the glory of power.

"Enjoy yourself and your homeless trash of a partner."

That was it. Anne grabbed Luffy's elbow and rushed inside before she wacked that bitch a good one and flushed her down the toilet.

"How rude!" Luffy said after recovering from the shock of rude treatment at the first meeting.

"You find enough of them in this place. Half of the girls here are just like that one, she's just worse than most because of her status as the principal's secretary."

Luffy turned to his shorter sister with a frown. "Anne, you're not being bullied, are you?"

"No I'm not. Some try to run over me, yes, but I have great friends here too."

"Anne!"

"Speak of the devil. Hi Mac."

Luffy turned to a tall woman wearing a colourful dress, lots of golden bracelets, big gold earrings and a longhaired, curly black wig. She had really high eyebrows and a bit sleepy eyes. Or were they teary? She smiled sweetly at them.

"Is this your boyfriend, Anne?"

"Yup. Maco, this is Luffy. Luffy, my friend Maco. She's two years older than I."

"Nice to meetcha," Luffy grinned.

"And you are…?"

"Luffy."

"No, I meant your character."

"Oh." Luffy unhooked his arm from Anne, straightened up and put both hands to his chest trying to look like a girl. "My name is Pippilotta Delicatessa Windowshade Mackrelmint Efraimsdaughter Longstocking. Please call me Pippi."

"Wow," Maco smiled. She couldn't help it. This guy's grin was contagious. "I read the books when I was a kid. Nice… legs."

"I know right," Anne mumbled. "Who are you?"

Maco tore her gaze away from the sight of naked skin between the gap of those underwear and socks. "Isn't that obvious? I'm Esmeralda, gypsy dancer extraordinaire."

Luffy and Anne laughed as the tall girl twirled around and posed, slipping her skirt up to reveal pale, well-shaved legs and a pair of simple blue high heels.

"If you're Esmeralda, is Jozu the goat?"

"No. Quasimodo. Goat would have fit him better though."

Anne laughed and hooked her arm under Maco's and Luffy's and pulled them towards the gym. "At least the two of you are symbiotic. Unlike us."

"Don't see it like that, honey. You're like Lady and the tramp. Or should I say Cowboy and the lady tramp?"

"Hey. I'm not a tramp," Luffy pouted.

Maco and Anne laughed.

"So, is the princess here yet?" Anne asked as they entered the party area.

The gym had been remodelled into something akin to a ball hall with balloons, flower arrangements and ribbons and stuff.

"Not princess, Anne. The empress."

Anne gave her friend a pleading look.

"Sorry. The Empress of China is here."

"Nee… An-chan. Why are there so many people over there?"

Anne didn't have to turn her head to know what her brother was looking at.

"That, dear b… dear Luffy, is the effect of Boa Hancock walking into a room; all men abandoning their partners to drool over her."

"Including Jozu," Maco muttered with a bitter grimace.

"What? Oh damn, I'm so sorry, Mac."

"Thank you, but I sort of expected it."

Luffy stood on his tiptoes to catch a glance at the centre of attention, but still couldn't see anything.

"The food table's over here."

Like a compass needle Luffy's nose turned straight to the one thing in the world he loved the most, that wasn't family and friends; food. If it had been possible and if Anne hadn't caught the back of his t-shirt, he would have killed the distance between him and the table in one leap.

"Behave. That food is supposed to last all evening."

"But Anne! It's food! You can't show me food and not allow me to eat it!"

The older sister sighed, feeling a slight pang of guilt, but still didn't let her brother go, yet. "I know, Luffy, and I'm not forbidding you to eat, just make sure there is a little bit left to the other guests."

"Okay."

Anne let go and Luffy headed straight for the food while his sister and Maco followed at a slower pace.

"Something you want to tell me about?" Maco asked curiously. "What's his deal with food?"

"As a kid he went through a couple of acute surgeries, I think he was eight years the first time and ten the second. Both incidents forced him to go on a diet and he dropped dangerously in weight. Ever since then food is his lover."

"Next to you?" Maco teased with a smirk.

"I don't know. Sometimes I think he loves food more than anything and anyone."

That had the taller girl pull back and stare at her friend. Most of the time when they spoke about guys Anne had wild reactions and she hated the teasing. Getting such an offhanded answer was for one; not like Anne, and two; boring.

"Who are you, and what did you do to my friend Anne?"

"Huh?"

"Hey, Anne. You have to try this, it's so tasty."

Maco stood back and watched. She had never actually seen Anne with a boy she felt any affection for and found her interacting with Luffy quite interesting. They had a good dynamic, those two and they were really cute when they laughed together. But it wasn't that cute cuteness Maco had expected from Anne. No blushes, no shyness, not even that needy touchiness most couples had. Maco could describe her observations with only one word; safe. Anne and Luffy were completely safe in themselves in each other's company. Very rare for a young couple. It was just like the two of them had been together for years.

"Um… Maco-chan."

A vein jumped in her forehead. "Oh? Finished drooling over the princess already?"

The bulky man with a manmade hunchback and a black eye he had received from a fight last week nervously scratched the back of his head.

"I saw you… looked a little lonely…"

Maco glared fiercely at her boyfriend, too pissed off to grace him with an answer. She wanted to spit him in the face. Good thing Anne and Luffy had come along when Maco was about to leave or she would have been almost home crying by now.

Said couple made her blink when they both turned around and glanced at the ceiling with a spoon in their mouths.

"I didn't know Nami wrote songs," Luffy said.

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't," Anne answered.

Maco stared at them. "What are you talking about?"

"The song," Luffy explained. "Nami must have written it."

Anne swallowed and used her spoon to wave it in front of Luffy's face. "There are more money-crazy women in the world, Lu."

Maco listened. She hadn't paid much attention to the music before now and cracked a bit.

I want money, money.

I want lots of lovely money.

Show me what it takes to be a real rich bitch.

"They work on the princess too," Maco said, Jozu still standing ignored behind her waiting for forgiveness.

"No. She is a bitch already."

"Luffy!"

Everybody turned. Not just the little group by the food table. Every person in the entire hall turned around. Boa Hancock, delicately dressed up as a true empress of China with lots of flowers, hair pins and other things stuck into her black hair, was walking towards Luffy with a faint blush on her cheeks and a smile never before seen on her face.

"Hey. It's Hammock."

Anne choked on her food. Luffy, the only one who wasn't standing with his chin on the floor patted her back. Hancock's reaction was immediate.

"Luffy! Who is this woman?"

"Huh? She's my… Oh. An-chan is my girlfriend."

For some reason, that made the princess/empress gasp with utter shock. "AN-CHAN?"

The girl in question, face red from getting that cherry down the wrong pipe, yanked Luffy's arm and held it possessively.

"Luffy. How do you know this… person?" she asked hoarsely.

"We met the other day. She was having a bit of a problem in the store, so I helped her out."

Anne didn't need to know what nature the problem had been about, and frankly she didn't want to know.

"So," Hancock said, regaining her posture, though frowning with obvious anger. "Wildfire Anne. This Monkey D. Luffy is your boyfriend you say?"

"Yes. You got a problem with that, princess bitch?"

The tall woman gritted her teeth. "Luffy." She abruptly turned to the cross-dressing boy and was suddenly all sweetness. "I don't understand how you can put up with such an ugly, rude, tomboyish and above all manner-less person. It must be hard on you."

"Not really. I wouldn't want her any other way."

The girl they talked about almost broke into a victory dance, still latched onto Luffy's arm. She thanked all higher divinity for giving her such a devoted and wonderful little brother. Hancock's face was just priceless.

"You're the best, Lu. I can even forgive you for the garters now."

"Oh, thanks Anne."

Maco watched the scene with great interest. This was great. Finally Anne was showing some possessiveness. For a good reason though. In the presence of Boa Hancock every girl had to grab a tight hold of their boyfriends and, if possible, blindfold them. Luffy had to be the boyfriend of the century. Maco couldn't help but turn a glare at the one she was dating, only to find him with his back turned to and looking very tense.

"Trying to hide your traitorous body and drooling face, are we?"

"Maco-chan… Boa-san isn't like you. She's unapproachable. I love you a lot…"

He turned his head a little to show his beaten puppy face. Maco, not ready to forgive him just yet, punched him in the side.

"Take a look at Anne's man and take notes. That's how a real boyfriend is supposed to behave."

Jozu was fully aware he was still in the danger-zone and obligingly turned to watch. He saw Maco's new friend Anne latched onto the arm of a tall boy with strange cloths and freckles painted across his face. And Boa Hancock, the most perfect woman in the country, maybe all the world, beet red in the face.

"Lu-Lu-Lu-Luffy! Thighs! Your thighs are showing!"

"Don't come around saying Luffy doesn't have sexy thighs," Anne said with a very wide and malicious smirk.

"Anne? Do you think my thighs are sexy?"

Maco smiled brightly with satisfaction. Wildfire Anne had probably never blushed so hard before in her life. This was more like it; Anne in blushing-spluttering-jealous-girlfriend-mode.

"D-don't get me wrong, Lu. It's no-not like I-I've checked you out or… or anything like that."

Luffy grinned brightly, took his sister's hat off her head and put his chin there instead; his way to tell her he thought she was really cute.

Anne pouted from hurt pride and crossed her arms, still blushing. "I'll never get used to this."

"I object!"

Every person who hadn't taken their eyes off Hancock in the first place turned back to her. She was pointing at Anne with a face full of contempt and her nose struck in the air.

"I hereby declare war against you, Portgas D. Anne. The one who will forever stand by Luffy's side and love him till death do us part will be…" her head tipped backwards until her head couldn't be seen from before her, "me!"

Anne, being Luffy's older sister and very well aware of it, calmly turned to her blinking little brother.

"Luffy. Will you ever love anybody so much you'll never want to see me again?"

The little brother spun around to his big sister with a horrified look. "Of course not!" He took a hold on her as if he was afraid Anne would disappear if he didn't. "I never want you to leave me, Anne!"

Maco repeatedly nudged Jozu and demonstratively pointed at Luffy.

Anne turned her victorious face to her rival. "Hear that, Boa? I won."

In all her life, Boa Hancock had never been so thoroughly overrun. Or heartbroken. Wherever she went, men and women begged for her attention, kissed her feet and worshipped the ground she walked on. She'd be forgiven anything, even murder, because she was so beautiful.

Wildfire Anne was a rare case. She hadn't fallen for Hancock's sweet face and snapped at her instead. So began their months of rivalry.

The only man who hadn't looked at her with lust or admiration was the man she had met a few weeks ago; Monkey D. Luffy. Hancock had gotten into a nightmarish situation with four bulky guys drooling over her that just wouldn't stop following her. It was only when Luffy turned up and told those guys off that Hancock knew she had been saved. This man, Luffy, hadn't acted like a knight in a shining armour like most of her saviours did. He had scolded her for walking around showing off too much bare skin. He had been so sweet and followed her back to her house because she had been so scared to be stalked again. Of course she had fallen head over heels for this charming and understanding man. There could only be one like him in the entire world, and Wildfire Anne had dared to claim him?

Unacceptable! How could that short girl with the attitude win the love of Boa Hancock's life over so easily? Hancock's love ran oceans deeper, she knew that!

"Luffy," she started quietly, blushing slightly and fidgeted like a puppy begging for attention, making people around her swoon. "What could that woman possibly have that you desire so much and I lack?"

"Oh, gimme a break, princess. You're just embarrassing yourself," that detested Anne answered.

"I was not talking to you, lowlife," Hancock growled. It was rather funny to see how she switched between love and hatred-mode so swiftly.

"How should I know what you have?" Luffy asked instead of answering the question. "I don't know anything about you, other than that you're funny sometimes."

Hancock gasped. "My beloved Luffy," she said loud enough for the entire gym to hear. "I will tell you everything about me, only you tell me what there possibly is to love about a woman, without manners, without grace, without height without breasts…"

"Hey!" Anne barked.

"…with a bad attitude," Hancock continued unfazed, "with freckles, with such unruly hair and bad taste!"

Anne fumed with anger. Yes, she had a bad attitude sometimes and lacked some manners and wasn't the most graceful or prettiest around, but to badmouth her lack of height and shapes, that was a sore spot.

Luffy just blinked stupidly. Everybody breathlessly waited for his response. Maco held her thumbs for Anne's sake.

"But all that is what makes Anne so cute," Luffy stated.

"Huh?"

It was quiet for a moment, before whispers started to fill the air. Maco was cheering silently for that bull's eye, Anne gaped and all around them people called Luffy crazy for choosing Wildfire Anne over one of the world's most perfect women.

"Even that flat chest?" Hancock asked quietly. If Luffy liked flat girls then she would never stand a chance.

"I don't care about that," the boy answered frankly and grinned. "I like that she's short so that I can put my chin on her head."

The near-killing blow (for Anne too). This had never happened before. Hancock had never had to compete against another woman when it came to beauty. Her body was the desire of almost every woman walking the earth! Boa Hancock was like a supermodel whose pictures the photographers didn't need to edit. To suddenly land in a situation where she had to compete and find she had too much bosom and too much height? Unfair!

The speakers came to life and a voice cleared its throat in them. "May I have your attention, please?"

On the makeshift stage stood an old man with a mike and peered over the crowd.

"As I suppose all of you know, this is Boshi University's fiftieth year as a school open for everyone and I would like to thank…"

Anne stopped listening and held Luffy closer to her side when Hancock started walking, and passed them. The princess's face was an unreadable mask, but Luffy's sister was quite certain she was in utter shock. Had probably never thought she would be defeated in a battle over a man. Anne thanked Luffy though, silently. She had yet to forgive him for that "short" statement. At the same time she thanked her luck she didn't have a boyfriend and that Luffy had agreed on acting as one. This night could have ended a lot different and with many more tears than if Anne had brought a real boyfriend.

The only thing Anne dreaded was to tell Maco later that Luffy was actually her little brother. Her blonde (when wigless) friend would never let her live it down.


THE END

I'm sorry, but I couldn't squeeze another word out of my brain after that last dot. If I had continued though I fear this little one shot would have been too long.

An-chan is a variant term used for and elder brother. So Luffy is pulling a joke changing Nee-chan; older sister, to An-chan; older brother.