Nothing. I sighed and scooted a bit further from the sofa of the Head's Common Room.
A hiccup of a silvery whitish wisp farted out of my wand.
Sigh. I closed my eyes and concentrated really hard, I swear I did…
Another fart of a cloudy substance.
I tossed my wand on the sofa and lay down on the floor whipping my arms over my eyes. I had to be the most pathetic seventh year witch ever, I couldn't even successfully produce a Patronus, let alone have any idea what my Patronus was. Probably a skunk because I stink at casting them. The skunk would probably attack me, too, with my luck.
Given, it wasn't even tested on the OWLS, and most 5th years weren't even expected to produce one that year, but it was necessary to know the wand movement, incantation, how you need a happy thought (whoa… Peter Pan anyone?), circumstances as to when a Patronus should be used, and it's history, creator… blah blah blah.
And I knew all of that. I just couldn't produce one. It wasn't my fault. I guess I just wasn't happy.
I had a library of happy thoughts in my filing cabinet of memories! Why didn't they work?
Maybe if I thought of all of them at once…
This motivated me enough to get up and grab my wand, prepared to try again.
I cleared my throat and raised my wand.
"Alright there, Evans?"
The greeting, no matter how familiar, caught me off guard.
"That's not the incantation, Evans. Trying a Patronus, or trying to blow the sofa up?"
"A Patronus, and 'trying' being the keyword there, Potter."
We smiled at each other. We had become really great friends this year, having to work together as Heads and all. At first I thought it would be a disaster, but James had matured. Albeit, he was still James how we all know and love him, but he seemed… more grown up. The only thing that hadn't changed was his unbelievable talent in classes. That bloke could do anything. And he didn't even study.
"I could help you, you know."
"I don't need any help, I just… can't think of any happy memories to use. I feel as if I've used all of them at my disposal."
James sat down on the sofa and proceeded to turn around so that he could see me. He rested his arms on the back of the couch and placed his chin on his crossed forearms. The very muscular forearms.
Merlin bless Quidditch.
"Let's see it then."
"What?" I sputtered. I was not about to make a fool of myself in front of Potter. No matter how good looking he was.
I didn't just say that, for the record.
"How about you don't watch me?"
"Ah, come on, Evans. What'll it hurt?"
Only my ego.
I sighed internally. Fine. Maybe this will be the time, and Potter will be blown out of his socks.
I shot out my hands to make my sleeves go up my arms a bit, shook my hair out of my face and lifted my wand.
"…Hogwarts is a wonderful place, Lily… just wait until you get your letter!"
"Will I get a letter, Sev?"
"Of course! All witches and wizards do."
Severus and Lily lay side by side under a willow tree. Petunia had run away screaming "FREAK!" when Severus emerged. Severus showed Lily that he could do what she could too. Sev revealed to her that she was a witch and that there was a special school where she could learn…
She was a witch! She would learn magic…!
Surely that was my happiest memory. Discovering from the boy that would become my best friend that I was a witch…!
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" I screamed, pointing my wand forward.
I looked through my hair at James. He held no facial expression. He didn't open his mouth to taunt or joke like I thought he would.
"Try again, Lily. Different memory. You can do it."
I sighed again.
"Potter, do we really…?"
"I know you Lily. You won't stop until you've gotten it anyway, yeah? It's NEWT year, and obviously you're working ahead for next week's lesson. Come on then, try again."
Alright. I could do this. James was only here for support. He hadn't teased me last time. He was here for me.
"Tuneyyyyy! Stop! That tickles!"
"Not until you say the secret word!" Petunia grinned, tickling Lily's stomach on the floor. Lily writhed in pleasurable pain. The tickling was too much.
"I… can't… talk… Tuney! Stop tickling meeeee!"
"Come on, Lily! Say the password!"
They were outside in their backyard by the garden where their mother had planted petunias and lilies. The apple blossom tree had bloomed early that year.
"What's the secret word, Tuney?"
Petunia abruptly stopped tickling Lily and leaned down to her ear, her blonde hair curtaining around hers and Lily's faces.
"Lily and Petunia: best sisters forever."
A tear came to my eye. I quickly wiped it away and raised my wand once more.
The same fart of a Dumbledore's beard wisp shot out of my wand and remained for no more than one second.
"Hey! You got something to form!"
"Do you mind me asking what you were thinking of that time?"
"Not at all. A time when Tuney and I were… friends."
James' face sobered immediately.
"Try again. You can do it, Lils. Think."
"Let's just face it, Potter. It's not going to happen."
"Try again. Please?"
I couldn't deny that face.
"Fine." I mumbled.
"Ahhhhhhh! What is that? Why is it out there?"
"My dearest Roseanne. That is an owl. AN OWL. OUT IN THE DAY? Roseanne! Why is it out there? It's clawing to come in…!"
Roseanne and George Evans clung to each other. Why was there an owl outside their kitchen window in the middle of the day?
"It looks like it wants to come in."
"Don't you dare, George…"
George opened the window. The black owl swooped in, landed on the back of a kitchen chair and stuck out its leg. George warily approached it.
Hanging on its leg was a letter addressed to…
The owl hooted.
George tentatively reached forward. The owl hooted again, as if in reassurance.
"Er, thank you, Mr. Owl."
The owl snapped its beak and flew out the window and into the sky, becoming a speck as it flew further and further away.
George held the letter in his hands. The name of his youngest daughter and their address was on the crisp envelope.
"Lily!" He called.
Lily bounded down the stairs.
George held out the letter.
"My letter! Just like Sev said! It came! Was there an owl? Did it drop it off? Where is it…?"
"Just open the letter, Lily."
George and Roseanne gathered around Lily curiously. Lily tore open the envelope.
"I've been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! Just like Sev said!"
"Witchcraft?" Roseanne asked.
"Yes, Mum! You see…"
The day I had received my letter. My official ticket to this world. My world, and all the happiness it would bring me in years to come.
Please. Please. Please…
I threw down my wand.
"I am officially out of happy thoughts. In fact, trying to think of happy thoughts is making me unhappy."
James had gotten up off the couch and made his way over to me.
"Seriously. Completely drained. I'm going to go feed myself to the Giant Squid. It was great knowing you, James."
"No… I don't understand! My first memory was of me and Sev. When we first met that day… I was so happy to have someone like me… and hearing all those magical and magnificent things he was saying…"
"Lily. That memory can't work."
Was he jealous of Sev and that's why he said that? He didn't seem to show any animosity…
"Why not?" I snapped placing my hands on my hips.
"Because of the future it implies. It was happy then, I'm sure. But now when you think of it… it's nostalgia. How you wish things were still. The memories of Sniv- Snape might be happy, but the undertone denotes sadness, because… well, you know."
What he said made sense. Of course none of my memories of Sev would work. He had broken part of me that… that day. Anything I remembered of him would only come up bittersweet at most.
"And your sister… that memory…"
"I understand now... Those last two memories… Tuney hates me now. We could never be like that again…And the day I got my letter… well, that's also the day I started to become estranged from my family… I'm the only witch in my family, ever. No precedent. My parents are proud, and they love me… but… it's just not the same. I'm… different…"
"They love you, Lils. They love you for who you are."
"I know that. I don't know what else to use then. I feel like all my happy memories in the past… none of them work."
"Then let's make a memory right now."
James stepped closer to me and gently cupped my cheek with one hand while another hand snaked around my waist.
I stopped breathing.
James slowly leaned in. My eyes closed on their own accord and I waited… waited…
James' lips pressed against mine ever so gently they were barely there. It was short and sweet. Not nearly enough for me.
His forehead stayed against mine, his breathing erratic and heavy. I guess it had been too much for him. My arms flew around his neck and brought his face back to mine. He responded immediately.
Our lips meshed together, as if they were made to fit. James' hand moved from my face to the back of my head to run through my hair. My fingers delved into his hair and felt the silky locks run through the spaces between them. James moaned when my impatient tongue licked over his bottom lip. He opened his mouth gratefully, but instead of allowing me in, he wrestled my tongue with his. It was a fight for dominance, as it always had been between us those past years. Arguments, competing for the top of the class, trying to dish the heavier insult… always a competition.
James won. His tongue delved into my mouth and I groaned at the feeling of his tongue probing my mouth softly and tentatively.
My fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck.
James seemed to snap.
He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me over to the couch and sat down, me still wrapped around him. I loosened his tie as his hands found my thighs and gently rubbed up and down. My nails grazed the top of his chest where some skin was exposed. That seemed to wake him up, pull him out of whatever snog-induced trance he was in.
He tore his mouth away from mine and looked into my eyes, his eyes a dark caramel color.
He was panting like he'd just run a marathon.
We couldn't stop smiling at each other. I kissed his nose, and then, James sobered up. A Marauder's smirk melted onto those delectable lips of his, I was tempted to lean in again. I tried, but he held me fast.
"Think of that, Lily."
I didn't think twice about what he meant. I crawled off his lap and went to retrieve my wand. James had turned around to be in the same position as last time.
James lips on mine, his hands in my hair, our bodies pressed up against each other… his forest and cinnamon aroma filling my nose with its sweet scent…
"EXPECTO…PATRONUM!" I screamed as loudly as I could.
A large silvery burst of something shot out of my wand and began to prance around the room. I couldn't lay my eyes on it for even a second to determine what it was, until it suddenly stopped, looked at me, its ears swiveling forwards, alert.
The most beautiful doe I had ever seen.
I looked over at James with the largest smile on my face. It felt like my mouth was going to tear my face in two it was so wide.
James wasn't smiling.
Confused, I started to walk over towards him.
No response. His mouth was open slightly, his eyes wide, staring at my doe like he'd never seen a deer before. He had a deer-in-the-headlights look looking at my deer.
I touched his arm.
Without a word, James took out his wand, and wordlessly, a large silver shape burst out of his wand. The shape ran over to my doe and began to nuzzle it. I didn't see it until it stopped as well.
James' Patronus was a stag.
I wasn't an idiot. I had read everything there was to know about Patronuses. It was exceedingly rare for two people to have matching Patronuses. It had only been recorded once or twice in all of history… And when they did…
It meant they shared the deepest love anyone could possibly fathom. Soulmates. True, undisputed, pure, love.
I loved James Potter.
And he loved me.
We looked at each other. He held out an arm and I stepped into him wrapping my arms around him, and he returning the gesture. We stood there silently, arms around each other, just reveling in each other's presence for what seemed like hours. Our Patronuses had long faded away by the time we stepped apart.
"What's your happy thought?"
A smile crept onto James' face. He kissed me, cupping my face in his hands. When he pulled away, his lips went right to my ear and whispered:
Hello Lovies! I had a sudden inspiration today, hence this fic! I really hope you like it. Read and Review if you wish!