For Melissa; happy birthday whalebait! :)
He sighed as he lifted another glass of scotch to his lips, drinking soundly from it, trying to drown out all of his troubles. His life was a mess as usual; the love of his life was engaged to someone else and despite his best efforts, her stance on the subject was unchanging. So while she was off at dress fittings and cake tastings, he would be sitting on his leather couch, wishing for the life he could have had.
He lifted his head from his glass when he heard the elevator door open, nodded and said, "Nathaniel."
"Hey man…you okay?" Nate asked curiously, setting his things down on the table and carefully tiptoeing around his best friend's obvious fragile state.
"Oh yes, I'm just perfect," he replied sarcastically, taking another swig of his scotch, furthering his descent into his dark place. "Where have you been all night?"
Nate rolled his eyes, "Well there is no need to take it out on me. And I've been at the office, talking with Serena, we fell asleep. But back to you, did you talk to Blair? Is this what this is about?"
Chuck sighed and shrugged, "She came to see me. I thought she was coming back to me, but well…obviously not."
"I'm sorry man…what did she say?"
"You know, the usual. She's sorry but she's made her decision and we should both move on and live our lives. Oh, and she can't see me anymore because apparently it's 'too hard', whatever the hell that means."
"So, what are you going to do? Leave her alone?" his best friend asked curiously, secretly hoping that he would so that he could move on with his life.
Chuck scoffed and let out the smallest of snide laughs, "No, I'm going to figure out exactly what happened while I was in my coma. Someone or something must have gotten to her, that's the only explanation for what's going on in her head. Maybe Louis is threatening her? Or his mother? My P.I. did say she was a little shady…."
"Come on Chuck, don't do this to yourself…just let Blair do whatever she wants, which is what will happen anyway because it's Blair. Don't kill yourself over this."
Suddenly, as if the anger just exploded inside of him, he threw is glass at the wall where is shattered, the last of his drink dripping down the wall. "But I don't have a choice!" he yelled, "I can't help but love her, Nate! I can't even imagine a life without her!"
Nate slowly took a couple steps back, just to give his friend room to calm down. Then he said, choosing his words carefully, "She shouldn't get to do this to you, man. Don't let her."
"You really think it is that easy? Look at you! Still drooling over Serena like a young schoolboy and she's off sleeping with Dan, yet you still love her, just like me. We are the same, so why don't you do me a favor and at least let me in on your secret. How do you get through each day without wanting to throw your body at a wall?"
He remained silent, mulling over Chuck's words. He definitely had a point; they were in the same situation, so how to get around it? How was he supposed to tell his best friend to get over himself, when he couldn't even do the same?
"So, come up with an answer yet?" Chuck asked, contempt filling his voice.
"You shouldn't be attacking me, the one person on your side," he said quietly.
"Yeah I know," he answered, pouring himself another drink. While he took a drink, he asked Nate a question as the alcohol slowly slid down his throat, burning the whole way. "So what is up with my dear sister anyway? She's really back with Lonely Boy? How many times have they tried to make a failing relationship work?"
Nate chuckled at his comment and he noticed Chuck's subtle change of subject; he noticed how he did so to show Nate that his words beforehand, about his 'ridiculous' love of Serena, weren't really meant to be mean, or really meant in good faith at all. He was grateful, for once, for his friend's cynical view of the world, but also his way of seeing the truth in situations.
"Well, she's not actually with Dan, so I guess that's a start. She just said that to protect Blair from something, I don't know, she didn't really give me much detail."
"She's not with Dan?" he asked alertly, "But that means they all lied, which means Blair was with Dan for some other reason other than to protect Serena, but what? Maybe they are together, that is actually disgusting, the two of them together. Just picturing it makes me want to gag."
He stopped his ranting when he noticed Nate's amused smile that was playing on his lips. "What?"
"You've got it bad, I would even say that you're whipped and you're not even with her."
"Thanks for that brilliant piece of insight Nathaniel," Chuck said, pouring himself yet another glass of scotch.
"I think you've had enough," Nate said, walking by him and snatching his glass out of his almost out-of-reach hand. He got it right before Chuck was able to move out of the way, and he stood in front of the bar to keep him from just grabbing another crystal glass. "And by the way, she's not with Dan, I asked. Apparently Blair has just become religious for some reason, that's all Serena would tell me."
Chuck pretended to look only mildly interested, although his heart was nearly beating out of his chest. Not that he necessarily viewed Dan Humphrey as competition, not as much as Louis who was a damn prince of who-knows-where, but if Dan could get Serena Van der Woodsen, Blair Waldorf wasn't that far off.
But to keep up with his pretenses, to keep even Nate from seeing into Chuck Bass's soul, he switched the subject once again. "So with Dan out of the picture for you, you and Serena…?"
"We're just friends, Chuck."
"Yeah, and I'm not Chuck Bass. Nathaniel, you know you love her, I know you love her, even she knows you love her! Why don't you grow a pair and take her on the kitchen floor like you loved to do back when your relationship was first all fun and new and exciting. It will make life worse for me, I'll probably end up throwing up my breakfast every morning, but at least one of us will be happy."
"It's not that easy, you should know that best of everyone."
"Actually, I must disagree. I find it very easy to get Blair right where I want her, it's just keeping her there that is the problem…but I don't think you'll have a problem keeping Serena, she is just as in love with you as you are with her."
As he stood there, facing Nate, wishing he had a drink in his hand, wishing he was with Blair, he realized that standing there feeling sorry for himself wouldn't help anything. So he was up against a prince in the race for Blair's affections, so she saw him as an evil tycoon who didn't care about anyone but himself, he could beat that, he could beat the odds that were stacked against him; all he really had to do was try, not try like he had been doing, manipulation and borderline stalking, he had to do something big.
He had to do something unforgettable.
Chuck had probably zoned out for several minutes while Nate was replying to his statement about his non-existent (but hopefully existent in the near future) relationship, but now he had a mission, a purpose and he wouldn't be zoning out any longer.
Cutting off Nate, he quickly said, "I have to go…feed the dog and don't wait up for me, this may take a while."
Nate was bewildered, he was in mid-sentence when he was cut off but he waved it off anyway. Chuck would always be Chuck and trying to make sense of what went on in his head was pointless.
Leaving his best friend behind, he rushed out of his hotel and out onto the busy sidewalk on New York City. Rushing through the city and trying to find an empty taxi when you were in a hurry, or more importantly off to declare your undying love to someone, was probably impossible and would involve a lot of unwanted stress.
However, that was something Chuck Bass wouldn't have to deal with; he simply slid into the slick leather seats of his limo and instructed his driver on where to take him. Chuck Bass never broke a sweat- unless of course it was because of an activity he…enjoyed.
He smoothed out his suit and watched the sights of the city quickly slide by him outside of his car window, leaving him slight overwhelmed and butterflies were beginning to flutter inside of his stomach. He counted the blocks as her apartment came nearer and nearer; from his place, it took approximately seven minutes and thirty-two seconds, including the constraints traffic put on the trip. The minutes ticked by, and then the seconds, and before he knew it, his limo gracefully pulled to the sidewalk and climbed out, faking as much confidence as possible.
Chuck quickly made his up to her apartment, his hands trembling slightly as he walked out of the elevator. "Blair!" he called, hearing his voice carrying like an echo, knowing that if she was here, she would hear him. "Blair I need to talk to you!"
As he waited for her reply, he tapped his foot against the floor, impatiently waiting for her to appear. Somewhere upstairs, he heard footsteps quickly padding against the carpet and all of a sudden, she was on the stairs, looking down at him with fire in her eyes. He prepared himself for the probable yelling that was about to occur.
"What the hell, Chuck? I told you I didn't want to see you again and now you just show up, in my apartment no less!" She made it to the bottom of the stairs and crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking at Chuck with an expectant glare.
Wasting no time, jumping straight to the point, diving headfirst into his unforgettable action,
he immediately said, "I love you, Blair and I'm not leaving here until you tell me you love me back."
She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and said quietly, "Chuck…please…"
"No! You think that because I'm Chuck Bass I can get a drink and sleep with the first girl I see and all of a sudden I'll be better, all of a sudden I won't love you anymore. But that will never happen, Blair, because I love you more than my heart can handle. I used to hate it sometimes, like when you would play with my heart, I would hate that I loved you, but now, I just want to give in because I want to love you now. I want to love you everyday for the rest of my life and I'm not going to fight it anymore.
"So, here I am, fighting for you so you can either give in and finally love me back or let go of me forever. But if you choose to let go, I'll let you go forever and hope that maybe someday I'll finally be able to move on, but you need to make a choice now; you can't just string me along like this, it's not fair to me and, honestly, I'm so exhausted. I want to know exactly where my life is going and whether or not I should include you."
Blair looked stunned, her face was frozen, her mind was frozen, no words came out of her mouth. So Chuck stood there too, waiting, like he always seemed to be doing, waiting for Blair. Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, she finally whispered, almost inaudibly, "I'm not getting married."
"What?" he asked, not daring to believe what he just heard.
"Louis just left, I broke things off, I said I couldn't be with him because I didn't love him like he needed me to."
Chuck finally let a grin slip onto his face, even taking a slow step closer to her. "So what does that mean for us?"
"It means that I just got out of a engagement to a prince because I'm in love with Chuck Bass."
"Oh really?" he asked, his eyebrows raising. Taking another couple steps forward.
But this time, she retreated a few steps back, which surprised him to say the least. "But just because I love Chuck Bass doesn't mean that I can be with him. Chuck, I can't be with you right now, not this soon."
His face fell which she immediately noticed. "It doesn't mean I don't ever want to be with you! I just don't want to now; or I guess it's not that I don't want to, I just can't. It wouldn't be right. And being alone might help me sift through the mess that is my brain right now. I know you are so tired of waiting for me, but if you could just wait for just a little while longer and I promise we can be us again, I just need a little bit of time…"
Surprising even himself, he nodded slowly, understanding her position. "Okay."
"Yeah, Blair. Okay. I'll wait for you for however long you need me to," Chuck smiled softly.
She breathed a sigh of relief and finally closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his body, a movement that he returned. They just stood there for a long time, arms wrapped tightly around each other, and it wasn't until Blair whispered into his ear, "So what now?", that their silence was broken.
"I guess we wait," Chuck whispered back, breathing into her ear.
I definitely haven't watched the wedding episode yet, so this story is sort of awkward if the real plotline is actually really different, so forgive me.
Happy 17th birthday Melissa! I hope you have an absolutely fantastic day filled with lots of presents and fun and friends and family but mostly presents. :) love you!