Oh no, you didn't Prussia!

*WARNING!* This story contains the unholy horrors of Prussia the awesome getting spanked by Russia.

It also contains the use of the German word Bruder (which means Brother) and the word Awesome (by a special Gilbert), and abuse to three Baltic States. If these offend you please don't scroll down and read this story!


My knees were cold and the rain had soaked through my clothes by now, but I had never moved since last night. The wall was constructed in one night. I could hear Ludwig's voice coming over the top but it wasn't the same as seeing him in person.

"Bruder! Please don't cry; we'll get through this!" I heard him call.

"No we won't! It's useless." I cried back, Ludwig's reply was drowned by the roll of thunder.

"Bruder." he called again. "I'll see you soon, but please for Gott's sake. Do not upset Ivan; it won't be pretty if you do."

I sobbed; a large hand grabbed at my collar and dragged me away.

"Bruder!" I screamed and once again the loud thunder took my only comfort away.


I shivered; the home I was now forced to live in was highly furnished but was damn cold! Adding my wet clothes, I was near a Prussian Popsicle. Gilbird was nestled on my head making one warm spot, I smiled at that, at least Gilbird was allowed to live with me.

The large oak door swung open and Ivan came in followed by his shaking Baltics. I glared at the large Russian who merely shrugged my death gestures off.

"Gilbert was it?" He asked and said it again a little louder when I hadn't responded.

"What do you want?" I demanded looking at the Russian's face for the first time. His violet eyes gleamed at me from under his beige locks. The contrasting colors made his face appear in shadow, a soft chant under his breath.

"I wanted to know your name." He responded plainly, a cruel smile on his childlike face. "But if you are unwilling to comply I can simply leave you down here for another day."

I glared again but looked away and said quietly. "Yeah, it's Gilbert."

Ivan laughed but extended his hand to help me up. I pushed it aside and got up myself. Ivan lowered his arm but his creepy smile never left his face, which sent shivers down my spine.

"Come Gilbert, It's time to discuss rules of this household." He said swiftly turning around and leaving pasted the Baltics. I brushed myself off and followed after him, the shivering trio shuffled uneasily with me and I swore that they tried to talk to me but no word was spoken.

Despite the freezing winds outside the house was surprisingly warm and even more furnished than the basement that I was housed in. A sitting room came into view and three women were sitting on large plush couches. Seating me in between the scariest looking females, who all by the way gave me the impression that if I tried anything funny I was going to be castrated on the spot, Ivan smiled a sickly smile and spoke.

"First off Gilbert, I would like to introduce you to the other members of this home." Ivan said pointing to the first female. "This is my older sister Ukraine, but you may call her Yekaterina." I noticed that Yekaterina had a strong resemblance to Ivan himself but her eyes held warmth. The next I noticed is that her chest was large, larger than Elizaveta's, which was saying something.

"Next, we have my younger sister Belarus, or Natalia." He said pointing to the scary woman on my right. The long hair girl had a knife in her hand and it was stained with blood, a very evil glint in her purple eyes.

Ivan giggled when I shivered. "Next, we have my lovely Minx, Tama." I blinked and the dirty blonde was at his throat holding a black knife to him. I was shocked, almost everyone was terrified of Ivan but this girl had enough guts to attack him straight out. Ivan giggled again and replied more so to the blonde than me "but you will call her Slash."

Slash, satisfied that the preferred name was said, sat back down and I saw a large blood red mark that went over her eye like a scar that turned and made a connection to her ear, it was pointed, which was also red save for a small peach colored part at the top. She wore a long cloak with a large silver clasp but you could tell that she wore nearly nothing underneath. Plus she was barefoot. Very odd for this weather.

Gesturing behind him Ivan waved a hand at the Baltic States. "Lastly, this is the Baltics: Lithuania or Toris, Estonia or Eduard and last but not least." Ivan said, "We have Latvia or Raivis."

All three bowed to me and continued to shiver, I've taken to calling the three shivering Baltic's.

The next morning I had found new clothes laid out, to my distaste they were Russian attire. I put them on any way to avoid cold and I was taking heed of Ludwig's words.

I followed the smell of food to the kitchen to see Toris cooking and oddly he wasn't shivering.

"Hey!" I said watching him jump and clutch at his chest, "whatcha making for the awesome me?"

Toris smiled gently at me, "I'm sorry Gilbert but this is for Russia."

I quirked an eyebrow and asked. "Why do you only call him Russia and not Ivan or fat for that matter?" I laughed at my own joke.

Toris gave a weak laugh avoiding my question he asked his own. "Do you want anything?"

"Nah." I waved him off. "Where are your brothers?"

"Ravis is most likely on the phone with Peter and Eduard is with Russia." He said turning back to his cooking.

I nodded though he couldn't see me; I gently tapped his shoulder again.

Turing around he asked. "Yes?"

I smiled. "I'm truly sorry about this Toris."

"About what?"

"This." I said before rearing back and hitting him square in the face, knocking him back into some pans which fell from the wall and hit his head in almost a comical way. Blood ran down the side of his face and some swelling was already coming to his eye where a purple ring would find itself.

I then over turned the pot onto the floor, if I couldn't eat then neither would Ivan. Hearing footsteps, most likely Natalia, coming to investigate the noise I tore back through the hall, Gilbird flapping after me.

I dashed into a new room; a large couch held a small person at the end, Ravis was indeed talking to Peter.

"I'm sorry Peter but I can't leave right now. Yes I know you want to get back at England but I can't send you any fire power! "

"What? Really? Well ask America if he could help… you did? And?" "He said that? Wow, well I'm sorry. Ask someone else…maybe Canada…what do you mean WHO! He sits right next to you in the world meetings! You also impersonated him once!" He was nearly yelling at the other nation and I took my chance I grabbed the back of his neck and held him down to the side of the red couch, beating him…it was wrong the way I took my anger out but I had to do it somehow, right?

Ravis was facing the phone so he couldn't tell who was hitting him, he began yelling apologies to Russia and I deducted that Ivan was just as abusive to his Baltics's. I ripped a broad sword down from the wall and started hitting him with the flat of it. The phone slipped from his hand and hit the couch. His yelling was still quite loud and I could feel Gilbird leave my head in favor of a quieter place.

I could hear Peter yelling from the other side of the phone, Ravis stopped fighting back and slumped over unconscious. I clicked down the phone, wiped sweat from my brow and left.


I peered into a room, Ivan was facing the fire and Slash was sitting next to him, a large bottle of Vodka was in his hand and I could feel that he was going to be there for awhile.

Eduard was coming down the hall a medical kit in his hand.

"What's wrong?" I said even though I already knew. He was going toward the kitchen, toward Toris.

"Oh good Gilbert, I am beyond glad to see you. Toris was just in an accident, I need you to help."

I followed him to the kitchen, Toris was still slumped over and Eduard was headed over to tend to him. I grabbed a fallen frying pan, one with Toris's blood on it and without warning I was acting like Hungary, I reared back and plowed the cast iron utensil into the others head sending him flying into Toris. I dropped the pan and heard a bottle drop. The loud crunch of glass under a foot jolted me from my anger; I tensed when a heavy hand landed on my shoulder.

"Gilbert, come." I heard him say and I was carried out of the kitchen.

I was carried to the large room with the fire place, all the women were inside.

I van sat down a dragged me over his lap, I struggled to get up.

"Gilbert, calm down Da?" You will only make it worse for yourself." He said forcing me back down.

"Please make them leave." I pleaded with him.

I felt him shift. "Girls… leave."

"But brother." Natalia said. She wanted it public for hurting Toris.

"Sisters…Slash I will not ask again. Leave." He said his voice soft over me.

Natalia grumbled and from my position I saw her tuck her knife back into her pocket. Yekaterina shuffled out, mumbling something about getting the extra medical kit for the boys. Slash came nearer and handed Ivan something and promptly left. The door clicked and my pants were slid down to expose my backside.

"Ivan..." I began but was cut off by his smooth voice.

"Gilbert, the Allies gave me the order not to kill you and I won't, I wouldn't have any way as you didn't kill my faithful servants." He said. I could just see the smile on his face, a very demented one at that.

"But you will learn not to make me angry." With that his large gloved hand slammed down and if he wasn't holding me down I was sure that I would have rocketed out of his lap. I gasped at the impact and a pain shoot from my ass, up my spine and straight into my brain.

I briefly wondered if this is how Ludwig felt when I smacked him. That thought was erased from my brain when the next swat fell.


I bucked and wigged to get away from the large Russian and his hard as hell hand but he just pressed harder onto my back and began swinging harder, if that was possible.

A few more fell and I bit my lip to keep from crying out. Ivan chuckled, "I won't stop you from doing that but you might want to when I use my next implement."

I whipped my head around, getting a crick in the process and I nearly wept at the sight of a bundle of birches.

I watched as they fell in slow motion and I saw my life flash before my eyes. Ha, I forgot about that. OWWW!

The birches hit with tremendous force and would no doubt leave many angry red lines and Ivan didn't even seem halfway over with the spanking. My eyes betrayed me finally, as I knew they would, and tears fell from them. They room had gone blurry and all I could do now was cry out when the birches hit.

I stopped counting the swats as it was too painful but I was thanking god when it stopped. Ivan let go of me and I rolled to the carpet and groaned as the fabric brushed my sore…well whatever it was now.

Ivan stood and scooped me up, my pants were left behind and I was carried half naked out of the room down the hall and into my room. Sleep began to over take me was Ivan placed me down onto the bed and pulled the sheets over me.

Gilbird flew from his perch and landed once again on my head. The last thing I saw was Ivan closing the door.


The wall was finally torn down and I ran and embraced Ludwig. We didn't care that people saw us, Feliciano was crying and clapping.

"Bruder, I missed you." Ludwig said quietly his throat obviously tight.

I nodded and said. "Let's get that beer now eh?" I said remembering the last word he said to me.

Ludwig laughed as tears rolled down his cheeks and threw his arm over my shoulders. "Yes, Let's."

"Vee~. Let's get pasta instead!" Feliciano said bouncing after us.