Breakeven

The Script—Prologue

This is kind of like a prologue. This is a series of notes that Rikki wrote to Zane and vice versa. Neither of them actually ever sent their letters. To the readers of H2O: Songfics, this is just chapter 8.


"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom"

12/14/10

Dear Zane,

I miss you. There I said it. And I'll say it again. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I've started praying for you to take me back or for me to be able to forget all about you. You should know that I am desperate because I have never been very religious. You have freedom. You got over me by kissing and dating that bitch, Sophie. I'm still waiting it out. I'm dating Kyle, but it just isn't the same. I think about you all the time. I hope you can realize how much I miss you.

Love, Rikki

Dear Rikki,

I'm barely surviving without you. I cannot live for much longer without you by my side. I gave up trying to get you back and set you free, but unfortunately it didn't set me free. I've tried to speed up the healing process by dating people, but it doesn't work. I broke up with Sophie last week, and now I'm dating the new girl Emily. It isn't working though; apparently only time will heal my broken heart. Sophie only slowed down that process; maybe Emily will speed it up. I love you. I need you to know that. I will do anything for you. I always have, and I always will. I just wish you felt the same way.

Love, Zane


"'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even"

1/4/11

Dear Zane,

It wasn't mutual when we broke up. You still wanted me. I tried to convince myself I didn't want you anymore. Now the tables have turned. Now I know that I will never be able to convince myself I don't love you, but you have moved on.

Love, Rikki

Dear Rikki,

My heart broke when you broke up with me. You took a piece of it with you, and I still have not gotten it back. Apparently you moved on with ease, but I just can't. I love you forever and always.

Love, Zane


"Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping"

1/15/10

Dear Zane,

I bet you are having a wonderful day with your airhead of a girlfriend Emily. It makes my day horrible to see you two doing things we used to do together. I think you care more about her than you ever did about me. You always drop everything you are doing whenever she calls. I guess you don't love me like I love you. Yes, I admit it. I still love you. I never stopped. I have not gotten a good night's sleep since we broke up. I bet you always go to sleep with ease because you are so happy with Emily.

Love, Rikki

Dear Rikki,

I broke up with Emily yesterday. She could never even try to compete with you. Whenever I see you looking so happy with Kyle, it breaks my heart into even tinier pieces. It makes my day 20 times worse to see you two. I guess Kyle actually puts you first. Does he know your secret? I think he does because last full moon, you spent the night with him. I was selfish the last full moon we were together. I put my friends and myself before you. I can't sleep at night because I'm too busy thinking about us and what could have been, but I assume you fall asleep and dream good things about Kyle. I don't dream anymore; I have nightmares. The nightmare that scares me the most isn't only in my head. It is real. The nightmare, you leaving me. I love you Rikki.

Love, Zane


"What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces"

1/25/11

Dear Zane,

I don't know what to do. You always were the best part of me. You were a big part of me. You were the glue that kept me together. I can't find the words to say to you. You say, "Hey," when we pass, but nothing more. I pretend not to hear and keep walking because I'm afraid if I say anything, I'll end up in tears. Because you, my strength and glue, are gone, I am breaking into a million little pieces. I am nothing without you Zane. I love you.

Love, Rikki

Dear Rikki,

Please tell me what to do. I lost a huge part of me when I lost you. I can't live without you. I am not me without you. I cannot be who I know I am supposed to be. When I see you, all I say is hey because that is all I can think of. I've thought about what to say to you, but every time I see you, I choke. Soon after my heart broke, I broke. I am not myself without you. I am a billion little pieces, not a whole as I should be.

Love, Zane


"They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving"

2/4/11

Dear Zane,

I am trying to see what good came out of breaking up with you. Cleo and Bella keep telling me that there is a reason that we saw you kissing Sophie and I broke up with you. That's nice, but that doesn't help how depressed I am. I find myself crying over you despite their encouraging words. You moved on past me while I'm stuck mourning over the loss of you.

Love, Rikki

Dear Rikki,

Sophie told me that bad things happen for a reason. She tried to convince me of all the reasons, yet I didn't agree with any of it. They may have been true, but it didn't put my heart back together. You are dating Kyle and have moved on. I'm still thinking about you 24 hours 7 days a week. I love you Rikki.

Love, Zane


"You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain.
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains"

2/13/11

Dear Zane,

You now have my love and Sophie's, and I'm pretty sure you have Emily's too. You left a trail of broken hearts, yet you have no pain at all. I took the blame for everything. You walked out of the relationship with no blame even though you are the one that kissed her. I have no idea how it ended up the way it did. One day we were completely in love the next we were no longer a couple.

Love, Rikki

Dear Rikki,

You took my heart, but now you have Kyle's too. You took everything, including my heart, and left. You stuck me with all the blame even though you were the one that grew distant and broke up with me. I can't figure out what happened to us. Can you? I love you Rikki. Please take me back.

Love, Zane