Okay, so this is a birthday present for AdmiralAwesome.

A slightly late birthday present. (I'm sorry, I really am.)

Anyways, I decided on this. And it ended up getting way longer than I expected.

I hope you like it :)

AdmiralAwesome has soft hair. She's like my cat :D


Admiral Awesome's birthday fic


Sleep With Me Once, Shame on You. Sleep With Me Twice, Shame On Me.

The first time, we got absolutely smashed at the school Fall dance. I didn't even have any idea why we'd come, but there we were, at this completely lame dance everybody went to, for some odd reason.

I'd come alone, and the girl Mathias had gone with got pissed off when he flirted with the girl letting people in, (but come on, if she'd expected him to pay attention to her the whole night she had no idea what he was like), so he was standing in the corner with me in a bit of strop. The only other people we would have bothered to talk to, Tino and Berwald, were either off on the dance floor, staring into each other's eyes soppily, or making out somewhere. Either way, we both knew it was just going to be us two for the evening.

So, what does Mathias do? Pulls out a couple of flasks of vodka.

It got kind if hazy after that, really. I know that we left the school before we got totally drunk, and walked to Mathias' house, which was only a couple of blocks away.

We went straight his room- separated from the house by a long way, thankfully, and proceeded to drink further.

I can't remember anything else.

At least, since I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and an even worse ass and back, stickiness between my legs, warm body behind me, an arm draped over me heavily, I tell myself I can't remember a thing.

Once I got Mathias' arm off of me, he was stirring, and I attempted to get out of the bed as fast as I could. Not fast enough, because as I slid off the bed I heard "Hey, Lukas." from behind.

I punched him in the side of the head and ran, locking the bathroom door behind me.

I didn't talk to him for a week after that. I ignored every attempt to talk to me, only breaking my silence to order him not to breath a word of what had happened to Tino and Berwald. And seeing as I refused to answer their questions they were pretty confused.

On Friday, exactly a week since I'd woken up in his bed (for some reason, the dance had been held on a Thursday evening, and most people skipped the next day), I found a box of Ifa, my favourite Norwegian lollies, salty liquorice, on the floor beneath the letter slot.

Berwald and Tino picked Emil and I up. (They'd decided that seeing as Mathias and I were fighting, they should give us a ride: personally, I preferred not to cut in on their disgustingly cute relationship.) As we got in, Tino passed me another box, only saying that they'd been dropped at his house with a note that they were for me.

Damn Mathias.

In my locker, when I opened it before first period, was another box. And when I had to go back to get some more books, another was sitting beside it. In class I found myself thinking about it more than I'd let myself do over the last week.

I still couldn't believe he'd done that. I couldn't even believe that drunk me would let him do that. But obviously, we had. And I should have known better than anyone what Mathias was like when he was drunk. So, really, I needed to forgive both of us. Could I do that?

Also, Mathias either was sorry for it, or wanted to talk to me again. Okay, he wanted to talk to me again. I mean, this liquorice is pretty hard to get hold of, whether it's from the special shop in town or ordering them online. Mathias wouldn't be able to think far enough ahead that at some point he might need to bribe me with lollies to get me to talk to him again.

Come lunchtime, the expected fifth box was sitting in my locker, so I grabbed it and headed to the cafeteria.

For some reason, we were all still sitting at the usual spots on our table, Berwald and Tino sitting opposite Mathias and I respectively. Emil usually sat on my right, unless he went to sit with his friends. Sometimes I wished he sat with the friends from his own year, but for the last week, I had been very glad for his company, albeit silent.

As Tino and Berwald arrived, (joined at the hip as always,) I offered them some. Tino happily said his thanks and took some, while Berwald quietly refused. As Emil came to the table, he immediately took some. Mathias was last to the table, sitting down noisily. I thought I caught him glance at the liquorice but I was supposed to be ignoring him, so I couldn't be sure.

Tino was trying to keep conversation as it gad always been, but Berwald was already pretty quiet, Emil spent most of his time on his phone, and Mathias made loud comments in his goddamn annoying voice.

I tuned them out a bit, eating, but about halfway through lunch I heard Mathias make some comment about 'art is such a sissy subject'. Out of instinct I slapped him hard in the back of his head, something I had restrained myself from doing. I immediately felt three pairs of eyes on me and ducked my head, eating quietly. The rest of lunch was pretty usual, and and didn't say anything else.

I had Maths in the next period, and I was pretty early, as usual, setting out my things on the desk at which only I now sat.

"Hey." My head whipped around at the sound if Mathias' subdued voice.

"What?" My voice was slightly croaky with surprise.

"Can I sit here?" I nodded once and turned back to the front, trying to ignore the fact that my whole body felt as if I could feel every single movement of the person beside me.

I guess my decision was made already.

After school, I found myself following Mathias to his car, Emil slowly falling into step with me on the way to the carpark. I waved to Tino who was standing beside Berwald's car, looking for me. Seeing that I was following Mathias, a grin took over his face as he waved back.

The ride home was silent, Mathias managing to stop his motormouth for once, and Emil slid out of the car immediately upon our arrival with a small thanks.

I was about to do the same, but a large hand on my wrist stopped me. "Lukas, we're okay, right?"

"Why wouldn't we be?" My voice was icy.

"Well, with what happened-"

"Nothing happened, Mathias. There's no reason we wouldn't be perfectly good friends." He got the point and let go of my wrist.

"Okay, see you later!"

"Thanks for the ride." I slammed the door behind me.

About a month after the dance, Sophie, who was in my English class, asked me out. She was slightly shorter than me, something that was reasonably uncommon, and had long dark hair. I hadn't actually talked to her much before, but I accepted anyway, thinking I might as well give it a try. I guess the incident with Mathias gave me more incentive than I would usually have. We went to the movies, went out for coffee once, and kissed a little, but, like the other couple of girlfriends I'd had in the past, I didn't particularly like her.

We dated for a month or two, until at the end of the second to last week before Christmas break, when she confronted me after school, as we were heading out to the car.

"Lucas!" I turned to face her, Mathias standing by my side.

"Look, I've given you chances to be a better boyfriend to me, but you haven't. When I asked you out, I thought you were one of those quietly possessive guys, but god, was I wrong. I don't think you even fucking care about me. Its like you don't even have emotions. So, it's over, unless you can prove to me you actually want to go out."

At the end of this rant she glared at me.

I could feel Mathias moving forward, but held my hand out to stop him.


"What?" Her face was turning red.

"I said, it's fine. Go out with someone who has emotions." I turned around and began to walk on again. I heard Mathias talking behind me, before catching up and walking beside me.

"Stupid bitch."

I ignored him and got into the car, slamming the door. As soon as he had turned the ignition, I grabbed his bag and took the vodka flask from its usual place.

"Hey, Lukas, If you're gonna drink, your parents'll realise."

"So take me to yours."

I turned to look out the window. I guess it was a good thing Emil had gone to his friend's house that afternoon.

Mathias silently parked outside his house, and we walked to his room, me still taking sips from the vodka. I collapsed on his bed, kicking my heels against the floor unenthusiastically.

I felt the bed dip down. "Are you okay? I kind of got the impression you didn't like her very much, so drinking seems to be a little over the top."

I frowned in his direction, somewhere above my head. "I didn't. I'm just pissed that she assumed stuff."

"Doesn't everyone assume things at some point?"

"Yeah, but she didn't bother finding out anything about me before asking me out, and it sounded like she expected me to be who she thought, and when I wasn't, she tried to change it to suit her."

"I guess."

I didn't reply, and eventually, Mathias turned his Xbox on, and the sound of his game filled the room, while I stared at the ceiling and drank.


It wasn't until the sound of the game stopped that I realised I'd even spoken his name.


I sat up and looked towards him, the room wobbling slightly. "Does it really look like I have no emotions?"

His face turned hard and he moved towards me, and I watched as he took my head in his hands. "Lukas, that stupid bitch knows fuck all about anything. You might not show every little thing that goes through your mind on your face, which frankly, I think is a good thing. And we know you have emotions. You're not exactly fantastic about expressing anything but annoyance at me, but you do, and your friends know it."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm still pissed."

I reached under the bed and pulled out a bottle. Akvavit. I shrugged and unscrewed the cap, taking a swig.

"Do you realise how high the alcohol content of that is?"

I shook my head and took another drink, before leaning back against him.

Mathias was warm against my back.

Warm hands. Mathias. "Mathias." He looks kind of strange. His hair's spiked up as usual, still feels cool on my hands. "Mathias, I didn't even like her, why an I still so pissed off?"

"I don't know, never happened to me-"

"Can you distract me then?" Something...

"How?" His hair's so soft. Lips look like it too, and they're nice against mine...

"No, Lukas, stop." God, his mouth feels so good. "No-" Yes, open mouth. "Lukas, I-" Just "Can't-" Shut "Hold myself back-" Up "Lukas…"

Hands on my shoulders, my head against the bed suddenly and Mathias' face above me.

"Lukas, I won't be able to stop myself, you need to snap out of it-" I thrust my hips up into his, feeling the hardness there.

God, his weight on me, mouth bruising, shit, his hands, lips, my neck, my chest. So hot… Strangely gentle… Hot, hot… Hot!

I woke up slowly. The events of the night before flooded into my mind and my body froze up; finally aware I was resting my head in Mathias' chest, his arms all of the way around me, and my leg twisted around his.

Holy fuck.

And this time was even worse than the first time. At least then, I couldn't remember any of it, and I was absolutely hammered.

I could remember what I had been thinking, this time.

And even worse, I understood what I had been thinking. God, I asked my best friend to fuck me. Which he did. And from what I can remember, I liked it.

I felt Mathias stir, and tried to relax as much as possible, slowing my breaths and closing my eyes. (Which was kind of disappointing; I hadn't realised just how great his chest was before now.)

His arms tightened around me, and I could hear him mutter something, before he said, "Sorry, Lukas." His fingers brushed my face and I rolled away slightly, still feigning sleep. He laughed softly and moved away gently, leaving me alone in the bed. I could hear him rustling around, opening drawers and getting dressed.

I yawned and sat up slightly, pretending to be just be waking up.

Looking over at him, I ran a hand through my hair. "Shit, I'm sorry. This was all my fault. I slid off my side of the bed and began searching for my clothes.

At least I was wearing boxers, and I must have had a shower after… (Embarassing…)

I pulled on my clothes from yesterday, crumpled as they were, before bringing myself to look back at him. "Mathias, please forget about this, okay?"


I fixed him with a stare. It was strangely hard to keep my face as emotionless as always, but I managed it. "I should go home now, I can just say we were up playing on your Xbox all night."

He sighed. "Want a ride?"

"Nah, I can walk. Bye." I shut the door behind me loudly and began the short walk home.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I'd somehow gotten my best friend to sleep with me. And even the slight limp and pain I was dealing with now didn't seem to make the memory any worse. I didn't even know how long I'd seemed to want this.

I'd never questioned my sexuality before, because frankly, I'd never actually liked someone. A year ago, when Tino and Berwald told us they were going out, I'd accepted it easily.

I think Mathias had laughed and told them it was about time they got around to fucking each other silly. Idiot.

An idiot who had fucked me twice already.


All weekend, I tried as hard as possible to avoid thinking any more about it, (not that it worked) and didn't go on the computer, turning off my phone and reading. Books can't receive messages from people.

Monday morning, I was out of Mathias' car before Emil, walking quickly into school. I even sat with the annoyingly cute couple, aka Tino and Berwald (who took almost all the same classes), and had to watch as Berwald gently wiped a bit of graphite from Tino's nose. It was disgusting. And made me feel a little bit funny inside.

At one point between classes, Sophie came up to me and asked if I'd reconsidered, but I'd been thinking about Friday night, and just looked confused at her question, which made her storm away.

I escaped the car as quickly as possible at home, too, ignoring Mathias' "Hey, Lukas, wait a sec!"

I ran inside, only to find a woman with long blonde hair in the kitchen with my mom.

She smiled cheerily at me. "Hey, Lukas!"

How familiar her enthusiasm was. "Hey Mrs Kohler- sorry, Henriette."

I was just telling your mom, I'm sure Mathias has told you already, David and I are going back to Denmark for Christmas, but we're staying for six weeks, so we can't take Mathias, because he would miss about a month of school, so we were wondering if you guys would mind looking after him a little. Just making sure he goes to school, checking that he's feeding himself and all that."

"Which is all fine, of course," continued my mom. "Mathias is like a third son to me! Also, you'll come over for Christmas Eve and Day, won't you?"

I turned around, and saw Mathias standing by the door. "Sure!"

"Well, I've got lots of things to do, we're leaving on Saturday! It was great to see you again."

Mathias' mom disappeared out the door, dragging him along after her.

And now it looked like I would spend most of Christmas break with him.

"Emil not with you?"

I shook my head. "He's gone to a friend's house."

Mom broke into a huge smile. "That's great!"

"Yup. I'm going to do some homework now."

I trudged up the stairs. Only a week and a half till Christmas Eve. Hurrah.

Christmas Eve was completely awkward. For me, anyway. Emil was texting his friend Li Xiao again. Mathias was talking happily with my Mom and Jacob (Emil's father, my stepdad).

Luckily, Mom decided that we'd never get to sleep if Mathias slept on a mattress in my room, (though not for the same reasons as I thought, obviously,) so he was sleeping in the guest room.

But on Christmas morning, at around 6am, I was woken by him jumping onto the bed beside me.

Goddamn annoying, enthusiastic, hot friend.

I complained, but got out of bed, and followed him downstairs, where I slumped onto the couch while he ran back up the stairs, dragging Emil down a few minutes later. Mom appeared straight after, grinning widely and pulling Jacob with her.

Mom and Mathias happily dove into the presents, while the rest of us started to doze, only to be woken up as they chucked presents at us. I got some pretty good presents, a couple of dvds, some new clothes.

Christmas lunch was way too filling, as always, and we all seemed to go to bed early. On Boxing Day, we went over to Berwald's house, and the five of us had out yearly snowball fight happily.

Tino took me aside when we went inside to make hot chocolates for Mathias and Berwald, who were still fighting in the snow.

"Did something happen between you and Mathias? Cause at school you seemed to be avoiding him as much as possible, and you guys seem kind of tense, and Mathias keeps looking worried when he looks at you."

I shook my head. No point in telling Tino about it. "It's fine, he's just getting on my nerves a bit."

He looked at me disbelievingly, but let me off, and soon we all had to go home, Mathias going back to his own house, finally.

The next morning, my mom came to my room while I was reading.

"Hey, Lukas, Jacob and I are having a romantic evening, therefore you need to get out of the house for the night."

I sat up in shock. "What?"

"Emil's already going to Li Xiao's house, so you can go stay the night at Mathias's! And you can leave us alone! Yay!"

"Oh my god, I'm getting out of the house just because you told me that. I'll call Mathias now." I shooed her out of my room.

"I only meant candles and roses! God, Lukas!"

I sighed, pressing speed dial one. Explaining the situation to Mathias, he agreed that I should come over straight away, and I packed a bag with my clothes, hands trembling.

I was fucking nervous. I'd avoided being alone with Mathias for too long for more than a week, and now I was going to spend the night. I would say 'Fuck My Life' but Mathias had already done that.

Being in his room once more was kind of strange. It hadn't felt like this the first time, probably because I couldn't remember that it was here that he'd touched me- Shit, stop thinking, stop thinking.

Thank god Mathias had gone into the house to get some food, which meant that by the time he was back, I'd recovered from my blush and was casually leaning against the end of the bed and reading.

He tossed me a box of Ifa liquorice and opened one of the two bags of chips, turning on the Xbox and chucking me a controller.

By some strange luck, I then proceeded to kick his ass at his favourite game, to his great disgust. He threw his controller down on the bed and looked down at the remains of the packets of chips we had devoured in the last couple of hours, playing video games.

He left noisily and I got up to look at his cd collection, checking for any new ones he might have bought recently. At M, loud steps sounded outside, and I turned to face the door as Mathias ran inside.

Time moved quickly. One moment, I was standing facing the door while Mathias brandished a bag of chips, and the next, I was lying on the floor, my head and back sore, Mathias lying on top of me.

"Shit, Lukas, I'm so sorry, I tripped. Are you okay? Lukas? Lukas!"

"Hmm?" And I was staring into those worried bright blue eyes.

"Lukas, are you okay?"

"Yeah." Oh, you don't have to get completely off of me…

"Lukas, I just fell on top of you, you must have hit your head, are you- mmf!"

I'd looped my arms around his neck and kissed him. I let my mouth press against his for a few moments, and just as I was about to move away, his began to move strongly, pressing down with bruising force, his tongue running along my bottom lip.

I let my mouth fall open, and his tongue eagerly gained entrance, running around mine, exploring thoroughly. And god, did it feel good. He let our heads lower down until mine was pressed between him and the floor, and all of a sudden he ground his hips against mine. I tightened my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, and he pressed our hardening groins together more.

Too soon, I had to pull away for air, and I loosened my grip around his neck some.

"You must have really hit your head," Mathias murmured into my hair.

Pulling away slightly, I glared at him. "I didn't hit my head."

"So you kissed me because you really wanted to?"

Realising what I'd said, I shrugged noncommittally.

He grinned anyway. "That's awesome!"


"That's awesome, because I've been wanting you to do that for ages." Seeing my raised eyebrows, he amended his statement. "When you're not drunk."


"Because I like you, stupid, have for ages. Like, since we were fourteen. You do like me too, right? I mean, I guess you might have kissed me to shut me up, and we've already slept together twice…"

"I don't know. I've never liked anyone before."

He grinned at me. "Well you liked kissing me, yeah? And I know you liked having sex." He smiled at the sight of my blush and kissed my cheek. "You were avoiding me, weren't you. Why?"

"I guess I was confused, because I asked for it, and I liked it, and I liked you, and- oh."

He grabbed me round the waist and kissed me. "You're so cute!" I punched his shoulder lightly and kissed him back.

"Can we move to the bed? I'm a little uncomfortable." He pulled me up by the hands and we climbed onto the mattress, moving to the head where Mathias sat up, pulling me onto his lap, my knees either side of him. He rested his hands on my waist and bent his head down to kiss me.

His hands slowly moved in circles on my hips, before one began to travel up my shirt and the other moved down slightly. The hand on my chest slid upwards quickly and tweaked by nipple, which hardened instantly. I gasped at the sensation and Mathias' mouth went to my neck, kissing and sucking downwards.

My hands clenched in his shirt, and I decided to try and get rid of it, which only happened once he realised what I was doing and pulled it off rapidly, doing the same with mine. I moved forward on his lap and suddenly our erections were all the more noticeable, uncomfortable against my jeans. I nervously slid my hand down between us to palm his length through the denim, smiling at his groan. I continued to rub against it, grinding my own with his occasionally.

The hand that had somehow travelled beneath my jeans to cup my ass went further down and he rubbed against my puckered hole. I moaned surprisingly loudly and I left off my ministrations to Mathias' dick to unzip my jeans. I did the same with his, while he pulled the waistband of my jeans, along with my boxers.

He flipped us over quickly, looking down at me happily and kissing my nose. "Are you okay with me…"

"Of course, idiot. I wouldn't let you get this far otherwise." I blushed slightly as he chuckled and reached to the side table, pulling out a bottle of lube.

He freed himself completely before covering three of his fingers in the shining liquid, leaning down to kiss me softly. His movements became gentler and his tongue snaked into my mouth. I melted into the kiss, only to tense up as I felt the small intrusion in my ass. I forced my body to loosen up, and his finger pressed all the way in. His other hand slid down to my weeping length and began to stroke painfully slowly.

I moaned into his mouth, the pleasure coursing through me uninterrupted even as I felt the second finger added. He scissored his fingers slowly, stretching me slightly uncomfortably. My mind went back to his hand on my member soon enough, his other fingers not bothering me, until he pressed them into a bundle of nerves inside me, making me shout.

I swear I could feel smugness radiating from him, and he moved his mouth up to the top of my ear, biting it gently. He continued to pummel my prostate, making me moan beneath him, the pleasure shooting through me even covering the discomfort from the third finger we soon added.

Too soon, I felt them being pulled out of me, and I whined at the loss. Mathias brought my legs apart further, and turned my head to look straight up at him, as I felt the head of his cock brush against me. I could feel my body twitching, my cheeks flaming, and Mathias looking down at me as he slowly pushed inside. God, he felt huge, filling me up completely, and then some more. My hands were gripping onto his biceps, my nails digging into his skin.

My ass felt like it was ripping apart as he moved further in, until I felt him against the back of my thighs. He stayed there, until I felt I could no longer stand him not moving, and moved my arms around him, pulling him down for a kiss.

He got the picture and slowly began to pull out and in, the pain beginning to meld in with the pleasure of him inside me. He was still moving way to slowly, his thrusting too gentle. "Faster, Mathias."

His pace increased, and I let my repressed sigh slip out. He immediately became vigorous, and all of a sudden he lifted up one of my legs, hoisting it around his arm, opening me up wider, and each one of movements went deeper, the angle changing to perfectly hit my prostate with each thrust. I found myself using every breath to moan, trying to speak incoherently, the only word I managed to form being his name. My nails dug into his back harder with every thrust.

His pace steadily picked up until it was frantic, pounding me into the mattress, his hand finally moving to my neglected erection. Too quickly, I felt the strong rush of my release coming, and as my vision turned white for a few seconds, I felt my ass tighten around Mathias, making every movement feel incredible while I came all over his chest. A few more thrusts and I felt him spill inside of me.

Spent, we lay down on the bed together, his arms pressing me into his chest comfortably, my head resting just below his chin.



"I love you."

I felt my cheeks heat up; only glad he couldn't see my face. (I was surprised I even had the ability to blush anymore.) "I guess… I guess I might like you too?"

He chuckled. "Of course you love me. I totally know you're blushing, by the way."

I lazily moved my hand slightly to smack him.

He only pulled me in closer, and I felt his lips press to my head. "This is just the beginning."

Finally done! Yay!

I'm aware that the ending is pretty crap.

Oh well.

At some point though, I might write some companion stuff :)

Also, Ricchan, If you're reading this, I hope you like it! And Harry, If you're reading this, I want to know why. I thought you said this was gross.

~GiveUpResistance Out!

P.S. Please Review :D