Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. They all belong to Darren Shan.

My thoughts and feelings

chapter 1

It had been seven years since the young half-vampire Darren Shan had joined the Cirque. In those seven years he fought for his life and the life of a friend against the wolf-man, watched his friend die a cruel, horrible, and unfair death, fought to save another friend in a far off city, had helped in the killing of another that would mean his own death if word got out about it. I was walking around the camp with nothing to do. I was different from the others who were like me. I was the outcast.

As I walked I noticed a figure leaning up against a tree. Looking close, I saw that it was a man in a yellow coat with green boots, white hair, and his trademark heart shaped watch. This man was feared by all that knew him. Even I and the others like me felt this fear. He was Mr. Tiny, our creator. He gestured for me to come closer and I had to obey, even if I didn't want to. He was the one that gave us a chance at life again, but he could kill us just as easily. I stopped just short of him looking up at him to see what he wanted.

"Good evening, Master Mulds," he greeted me with a smile that I was not fooled by. Everyone knew that he only grinned when trouble was near. I nodded my head in acknowledgement.

"The time is upon us," he said. "Soon Larten and his assistant will be off to vampire mountain and you are to go with them."

I cocked my head in confusion. Why would I be going to the home of the vampire clan?

"I'm sending you and another because young master Darren is going to need someone to protect him on the way," he explained. "That and it is time for you to talk. The main reason you are going is because you are the only one that can talk and the message you are going to give the princes would make a bigger impact coming from you than it would from me." He turned to walk into camp looking for Mr. Tall's trailer.

"The message for the princes is this, tell them: The night of the Lord of the Vampaneze is at hand. That should give them quite the shock." His grin was huge now. Seeing him this way was horrible. Seeing him like this meant that there was death coming. The death of many, and he was getting excited like a child on Christmas. He beckoned for me to follow. It was time to meet with the vampires.

Many weeks later.

We had been traveling for many weeks. The land had changed a lot in that time. From forest to sleeping little town to massive cities to rural unpopulated areas. As we were getting closer to the mountain the weather had too changed. It was rainy and cold one night then lightly snowing the next. I didn't even notice the cold though, so I wasn't bothered by it. Most of the time on cold days the vampires would sleep laying next to each other to share body heat. Myself and the other little person would talk to each other while we were watching the vampires sleep. We didn't need much sleep and could stay awake for days on end. We would talk about what it would be like in the mountain. I thought that it would just be like a mountain but my friend thought it was a grand and noble place. He had the notion that the mountain was like a palace in human stories and I laugh at him and tell him that he had spent too much time around humans. He was a lot older then I was and he knew who he was before he had died whereas I was still clueless as to my past.

After a while I decided to go hunting for some food. We were camped in a small cave near the base of the mountain and, by my reckoning, we would be there in another three weeks or so. We had run into one of Larten's friends a few days ago and then Darren found the wolfs yesterday. I found a big fox and brought it back to the cave but I didn't eat any of it.

Later that night we came upon a valley filled with thick sharp vines. As the vampires stripped, Larten burst out laughing when he saw Gavner's yellow elephant boxers. I was glad that I was wearing a hood and a mask because I was also grinning at the sight. It was funny seeing the buff General in something that ridiculous.

As we picked our way through the thorns, Larten told us to walk in front and we didn't really mind for we were making jokes about the boxers. The wolfs started to growl loudly at something in the distance. As we went on we soon discovered that they were growling at a piece of fabric that had dried blood on it. The blood belonged to a vampaneze, one that wasn't even supposed to be on this part of the world because of the treaty between the clans.

The vampires were obviously troubled by this turn of events and decided that it was best to scout the area. Darren had to stay behind because he would cause too much noise and would be easily spotted. My friend and I spent most of the time fixing our robes that had been torn to pieces while Darren played with the smallest wolf who he named Rudy. They had been gone from the little outcropping that we were stationed behind.

I was on the verge of relaxation, when I heard the bellow of a bear.

To be continued

Chapter 2

I instantly knew that the bear was after Darren and I had to protect him. I ran to the source of the noise and sure enough the bear was about to fall on Darren and squish him as flat as a pancake. The other little person and I charged the bear and hit it so that when it fell it missed Darren. The bear turned to us as mad as hell and tried to fall on us. I was quick enough to get out of the way but the other little person wasn't so lucky and was crushed.

That pissed me off. He was a little annoying at times, always bragging that he knew who he was and things like that (I ignored him at times like that but now I kind of regret that because I don't remember his name) but even he didn't deserve that. I charged the bear without thinking and I grabbed its ears and head-butted it right between the eyes. I think that Darren was more surprised than the bear but I really didn't notice. I smacked the bear a second time and was about to hit it again when I got hit in the stomach with its paw. I flew back completely winded. Lucky for me Darren caught me before I hit the ground but I couldn't move.

Darren ended up killing the bear. Some protector I am. At least he didn't get killed. Darren asked if I was alright and I just nodded. I thought about talking to him but I didn't really know if I should. I really didn't want to until we got to the mountain, but when Darren called me "Lefty", which was his way of identifying me from the others, my plan was shot and now I had to talk to tell him my name.

Darren had been surprised when I talked, but the others were blown away. I told them about my past, what I could remember anyway, and about the deal I made with Mr. Tiny. When Larten asked why I could talk I had to tell them about the vampaneze lord, but I really didn't want to. True they would find out about that soon anyway but I really didn't want to bother them with that disturbing news. It was too soon for them to know and there's no telling how they would take it.

In the end I told them. Darren was confused because he didn't know the legend that the clan has told for years. Larten and Gavner were silent for days but they eventually told Darren the tale. Any other vampire would have been horrified but Darren was just confused. He spent a long time trying to figure out how such a horrible thing could happen to the entire clan.

It was a clear night when the mountain finally came into sight. The mountain itself said to the world, "I will chew you up and spit you out if you come anywhere near me," what a great place for the vampires to make their base. Just looking at the mountain made you feel like as soon as you step foot in it, it would change your life for better or for worse depending on how you acted within. As we started down a small slope I looked at Darren, who was in his usual place behind Larten trying not to act like he missed the wolfs that had just left us, and got the feeling that I had to protect him because he worse was ahead for him, and he would need me not only as a protector but as his friend.