EXCUSE ME. MAKE WAY FOR VESPER-CHAN.

Or shall I say the second-prize winner of my oneshot contest (from Halloween. UHUHUHU why am I so late; this always happens with fanfictions and never with schoolwork!) She didn't give me any specific prompt at all, so I wrote her what I thought she'd enjoy: a heavy dosage of MadaSaku, a pairing that in all honesty I think gained its popularity because of her and her contributions to it (along with UchihaSaku).

By the way, if it's not obvious from first glance, this story contains only dialogue, with implied hints of action/expressions/movements. This seemed an interesting change of writing, and easy way to make sure this fanfic prize doesn't get too long (like…the…last…one…). So for the most part, you, reader, must guess or fill in what Madara and Sakura are doing as they talk. I hope I did an adequate job using dialogue clues to hint as to what they're doing while talking.

I warn you of an odd mix of "fluff" (The Fluff-o-Meter is off the charts! Seriously! Latter half especially.) and "creepy Madara" coming your way. On the other hand, those two seem almost fitting, at least in my mind…

666

Just another night.

666

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Sakura."

"…Mh."

"Sakuraaaa—"

"…?"

"Hi, love."

"Wh—! What are you doing in my apartment! What time is it?"

"Three-forty-five."

"What are you doing in my apartment at three forty-five in the morning! What—talk, Madara! I almost thought you were an intruder and punched you in the throat!"

"I woke up half an hour ago and couldn't sleep again. I thought I could come over and sleep with you. I like your bed better and you said it was all right if I wanted to. Also, I very much like your night shorts."

"I meant if you came over maybe in the afternoon or evening, not four in the goddamned morning, totally unannounced! You snuck in here like a thief and I really almost hurt you!"

"Aww, you worry for me~"

"…"

"Well, if you tried to hit me, as a trained officer, there's a good chance I would be able to block, or at least not be knocked away. And then you'd hit again, and I would push you down and then we'd be wrestling. Hey, remember at Naruto's place last month, we wrestled and Shisui thought it was—"

"Shisui thought you were a total pussy because your girlfriend pounded you into the floor and then went off to paint her nails. I hear it was severely damaging to your manliness. And please get off my stomach, you're heavy."

"Can't."

"Yes, you can."

"Can't—gravity—is—increasing on me!"

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is, Sakura, it happened yesterday. Gauuh, gravityyyy!"

"Get off! Hey! Mmf—Hhah—"

"Hmm~"

"…May…I breathe now?"

"Yes. But you have to stay awake after, okay? We haven't really talked for three days."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry…I had shifts at the university hospital all the time, and I slept four hours a night. There was a gang shooting on the main town plaza…innocent people were riddled with bullets. I was busy digging metal out of people's muscles and helping them cope. One woman woke up and sincerely thought she was dead. It took hours to make her see reason. So it wasn't me avoiding you, it was me being too tired to do anything besides that and school."

"I understand. And I know about that gang shooting. I put away all nine of the shooters. Six to ten years, all of them. Your patients may have some justice done for them after all."

"You arrested them?"

"Yes. Itachi and I, and the new lieutenant. Between you and me, love—I mean, I could be fired for talking about the case outside of work—I found the leader myself and 'accidentally' shoved his head into a concrete wall before cuffing him. He suffered a painful concussion. And I thought of you when I did it. Hurting bad people, concussions, good people doing good deeds and such. Perhaps you should have been a police officer."

"Well, thanks so much. But I like my medical field. I don't like how long it's going to take, but I'm satisfied knowing where I can be one day. Hey, what's the highest ranking a police officer can have?"

"Hmm. Depends on your department. That'd be detective sergeant if you were in the homicide division, and—you going somewhere?"

"Just getting my water bottle. I'm still listening."

"No. You stay. I need my Sakura or else my heart shrivels and dies. Sakura. Sakura, come back! I'm sad and lonely!"

"You will survive these next three seconds without me. Just—"

"No!"

"Madara—"

"Noo-oooo!"

"Are you five years old? Look, I'm back. It'll be okay."

"Yay~"

"Hm. Maybe reality is lying and I'm actually the older one here. I'm the mature young woman of nineteen, and you're actually a loud little eight-year-old I babysit on weekends."

"Yeah, no, hun. I am your sexy 'older man' boyfriend of twenty-five and you are my young and naïve little girlfriend whom I lead and guide into the dark adult world. I love you very deeply and must keep your adorable little self close."

"That's…that description's very nice and all, but it carries tinges of pedophilia."

"Oh, please. How odd that I'd be called such a thing and yet your parents loved me at first sight. If they entrust their daughter to me, I must take care of her and envelop her inside myself, where she is so safe and so loved."

"Yea, well, my mother's opinion of you was highly influenced by the fact that I told her your favorite movie is 'Tangled'. Also…erm, yeah."

"Also what? Oh! I know what you were about to say! Before you took me to meet her, she asked what I looked like, and you sent her that picture of me from the day at the park, my hair was extra nice and I had my favorite shirt on, daringly open at the chest. She thought I was hot. Your mom thought I was hot. Then again, who doesn't?"

"…Yeah. She sure did."

"And youuu think I'm hot?"

"…'Course I do."

"…"

"What?"

"Your face is so cute. Oh my god. Come here, Sakura, I must molest you."

"Tha—d-don't make that face, I, I—the heck! Get off!"

"Got you!"

"Jesus, Madara!"

"Hey! Don't you run away from me, young lady!"

"I wouldn't have to if I didn't have a hundred and eighty pound body sitting on me and crushing my lungs!"

"I'll have to arrest you for misconduct, then."

"Excuse me? You were the one who—"

"Hurting my feelings counts as misconduct. You have three seconds to come back to bed and make it up to me."

"How did I hurt your—"

"Come back right now or I'm coming to get you, my sweet. Two seconds."

"But I—"

"One second. And that's all."

"No no no no nonono there I'm back!"

"Then I'm all better now. No arrest for you today."

"Well thank heaven for that, Officer Fucking Psycho. And I'm sorry you came in here wanting to see me and talk to me, but I really am tired from my hospital shifts and I want to sleep. You're welcome to stay here but I don't think I can stay awake for more than five minutes, okay?"

"Hm, perhaps. But I can keep you awake to talk a little longer. I didn't mean to sit on your stomach and hurt you, Sakura, so how about you sit on mine? Come here so you can straddle me, love."

"Wha…hey!"

"…There."

"…Hnn…"

"Ah, now don't pretend you're still so sleepy. I know you wouldn't forget this position."

"No…"

"I remember it very well. You were so nervous…but you wanted me. You were mine."

"Yes."

"I will always call you 'mine,' Sakura."

"I know."

"…"

"…"

"Lick your lips again."

"Unless you want to have sex with an unconscious body, tonight is just not a good night…I need to find my chapstick now."

"I didn't have that intention tonight, but I can't help it if you're irresistible. That makes it your fault in the end."

"Yes. Imma terrible person. I eat kittens and kick bunnies, especially when I'm tired n' can't find my chapstick."

"It's by your water bottle. Here. And it's…cherry flavored. Ooh. I shall have a kiss goodnight before we sleep."

"Fine. And before that, I have a surprise for you."

"Really? What, what?"

"It's not done yet. But I have plans for something I hope you'll like. Stop sitting up, you're making me slip back!"

"Tell me my surprise!"

"Okay: in January, I arranged for a portion of my paychecks to automatically transfer into a special account. I have three-fourths of the money right now, and once I know I have enough, I'm buying us tickets to France. Roundtrip, and a weeklong stay."

"France?"

"At Konan's, in November, you said you wanted to go and you haven't visited since you were a child, and you had loved it then. I wanted to do that for you."

"Sakura, I—"

"I don't care that you could have bought a ticket yourself whenever you wanted. I wanted to do this for you. I've got the necklace you gave me and the swan painting and a miraculously paid-off student loan, so this is my extravagant gift. And thank God you didn't suggest we go in between when I had the idea and right now because I wasn't sure what else I could do to match up to you."

"I don't give you those things because I want you to try and 'match up' to me, I—"

"I don't care, I still want to! You're getting free plane tickets whether you want them or not!"

"You'll take me to France?"

"Yes. I can translate things for you. And since I went once in high school during spring break, you're not the only one who would be re-visiting."

"You're taking me to France!"

"Yeah!"

"Oh my God!"

"Haha!"

"Kiss me. Right the fuck now."

"…"

"Nnm—"

"…I…I'm less tired now."

"Heh, I'm sure. This is really exciting! We're going to France, together, with pretty buildings and the big western castles and we can eat snails and giant breadsticks and drive on the wrong side of the road, oh my God I can't wait. Thank you so much, I simply am…oh…"

"You're welcome…"

"I can't believe it, Sakura."

"My love…"

"…My…Ohh. Again. Look at me and say that again. Let me hear."

"I…just thought I should…should do something nice for my love."

"Mm. And I love you. This you know."

"Certainly do."

"…"

"…Madara? What's wrong?"

"Haha…It just hit me that this is just such a ridiculously far cry from when I met you. Then, I would have only prayed that that lovely sunstrike of a girl whose name I didn't know would want to carry me off to France. Especially since she saw me that day and called 911 because she thought I was following her home."

"You were following me home."

"Again, it is not my fault that you're irresistible, my dear. You drew me towards you and I was helpless to escape the collar you'd placed on me."

"Madara, what would you have done if you had been able to follow me all the way to my house?"

"Held you down and deflowered you."

"What."

"I jest~"

"You fucking better be."

"Hush, little one. Clearly you have no reason to be distressed at me now, hm? You were the one who let that same man take you out to dinner the next month. And why was that?"

"Because I thought once you finally got what you couldn't have, you'd get bored of chasing me and finally go away. Very basic psychology."

"That's not the reason I remember hearing from you last time I asked."

"Well kind of like recent events, you were sitting on me and crushing my airways last time you asked this. And there was some very serious oath about never, ever getting off me unless I said what you wanted to hear. I did what was necessary to get my oxygen."

"Now, Sakura. It's dark and I will barely see your silly blushing face if you tell me again. Please? For 'my love'?"

"…Screw you. Making me feel guilty."

"Oh, please, you're in love with me and all the ways I make you feel~ In fact, I think that was part of your answer. Now…?"

"…We went out—because—because you appeared to be a stalker but…but I still thought you were probably the most attractive man I'd ever seen and…And I was jealous of your hair. So I thought that I could ughhh I am done!"

"No you're not. Come out, now. If you hide under the covers, it's not that hard to pull you out again. I could make you stare at me while you talk."

"Hate you."

"I love you too, darling. Continue your confession. It pleases me."

" 'Continue your confession it pleases me, nyah nyah nyah."

"What was that? 'Most attractive man I'd ever seen?' Do go on. '"

"Geez…it was—okay, it was mostly because I wanted to hear your voice from a normal distance away. I liked your voice best, out of all things about you. I still love your voice and even when you're saying something unbearably stupid or perverted, I always listen."

"Yes, I know. I can see your face change whenever I speak to you, you know. Do I make you melt into a little puddle inside?"

"…"

"That means yes. Someday you will say yes and I will feel victorious. Oh, don't worry, though, you've already significantly inflated my ego for tonight, I don't think I'll be needing any more donations to my manliness."

"Glad I could be of service."

"Yes, thank you ever so much~"

"Can't effing believe I let you into my life."

"And now we're in a relationship and you allow me to own a key to your apartment, isn't that awesome!"

"Awesome."

"Oh, please, Sakura. I know how you feel about me regardless of whether you say it or not. Don't fret about that."

"There is a six-page list of things about you that I could fret about."

"But why would you? You'll marry me one day."

"…?"

"I refuse to believe there is any other person on this Earth who could make me as immeasurably happy as you do. I think the same is true for you, but you are shy about saying it. And these things being true, what other path do you think there'd be? I won't ask you yet, don't worry. I know the social sanction that comes from marrying at nineteen. I won't do that to you. You have at least three years of being my girlfriend."

"Hmm. I'm glad."

"In the meantime, we can go to France! And other fun stuff. Like, I can finally find a day to bring you into the station and show you off to people. My lieutenant and all his lackeys want to meet you. They're sick of hearing about my amazing doctor warrior nerd girlfriend and want to actually see you."

"I'd be happy to meet your coworkers if I'm not locked out like the other time you tried to bring me in to meet them."

"I had no idea there would be a station lockdown and you'd be stuck outside. It was the receptionist who did it, you know. She stole a diamond ring out of the evidence locker and tripped an alarm."

"I know. I remember you telling me what you said once the alarms went off. 'Relax, it's in the justice department! Who'd steal it here?' You dumbass."

"Mehh. Even the police station has unsavory, lying people in it."

"Look at the pot calling the kettle black."

"What, you think I'm a bad cop? After my lifetime of hating society's violent, lying rejects and desperately wanting to get them off the streets? And successfully doing that?"

"No, idiot. You're an excellent cop in that regard, I know you are."

"Yay~ Hug me."

"Fine. There. Hugs. What I meant was that…was, crap…"

"What's crap?"

"I…just…forgot what I was going to say. That doesn't happen very often. This is a very Ino kind of thing."

"Oh, well, therefore, I'm not an unsavory, lying cop."

"Not until I smack you over the head with my point once I remember it. It was a pretty damn good one, too. Ugh…"

"I hope you remember it, I don't want you turning into Ino. She's hilarious and all, very fucking hilarious, actually, but also talks too much and wears slutty clothes. It's rather astounding that someone like her is your best friend."

"She wasn't slutty when I met her."

"I thought you met her in third grade?"

"Well, yes, I mean—of course she wasn't slutty as a third grader, you idiot! I mean she was just outgoing then. She was the loud girl who had confidence and wasn't afraid of anything. The brave kid you wanted to be when you were that age. A lot of kids probably had their first real experience of jealously because they met her. I sure did."

"Mm, I remember the story of you and her on the monkey bars."

"Didn't you ever climb on the monkey bars?"

"I…went across them, I suppose. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? Monkey bars are the things that are like a horizontal ladder, right?"

"Yes. And at Hitoshi Elementary, being able to climb on top of the monkey bars was a big deal. Ino taught me how to do it. I felt like…like a tiger or something, some powerful creature. I was so proud of myself. At that age, I'd never been so proud of anything…shut up! Stop laughing!"

"It's cute!"

"Well, what did you do as a child that I can cruelly laugh at?"

"Mm, what did I do…oh, I caught a fish in the creek behind my house. All by myself! Izuna pretended that he helped but he really didn't. He sat on the bank and watched. Izuna was such a pussy when he was little, he wouldn't even stick his toes in the water."

"And what happened to your fish?"

"I brought him into the house in my bare hands, and I put him in a fish tank with my mom's fish. Izuna said his name should be Stripes because he had a stripe on his side. Two days later, we woke up and Stripes wasn't in the tank. But there was Mom's fatass beta fish, burping up scales. He ate Stripes!"

"Stripes was a stupid fish. He deserved to be eaten. You're stupid."

"And now I share your pain of having childhood memories be laughed at. Waah, waah, I'm so sad."

"Good."

"I'm also extra sad because my girlfriend abuses me. She makes fun of things I hold dear."

"Your clothes are ugly. Your have girly hair. You smell funny."

"Gonna go slit my wrists now."

"Fine, go complete your emo image."

"I do not look emo. My God."

"Looks like I've struck a nerve."

"I just never thought I'd be called emo, since you always complain about me talking too much or too loud or embarrassing you, or 'Madara stop singing,' or 'Madara stop playing around'…"

"Hmm. Seven months of dating and I just now learned how to get under your skin."

"Well, I'll learn to make light of it like anything else. Or I can plead for you to help me through my recurring emo phases. I'll need constant attention, like a puppy. Except puppies do not—hmm—do this..."

"Hey—ahh…"

"Mm…feel free to tell me what kind of dreams you have in the morning. I want to know if I'm in them."

"I don't think I'll have much time for dreaming. It's almost four-thirty. I have to get up in an hour and a half. Or less."

"Sakura, I can call off your next shift."

"I'm sure. I really need to sleep now."

"I mean it, I can call the hospital director and take you off this shift. And your next class isn't until one, right? So if you had no hospital shift, you could have the whole morning to while away with me."

"Theoretically. But I don't want to find out what being fired feels like, so I'm going in for my shift. Sleep time now."

"Sakura, I can do this for you. You stay here. Curl up and be ready to fall asleep. I'll go in the hall and phone your director so I'm not disturbing you as you fall into your lovely dreams."

"Madara—"

"Hush-hush. You need more time to rest and relax, and I'll grant it to you. Now if you'll excuse me…"

"You can't just call my boss and give him orders. He has no idea who you are. And he'll think I'm trying to get out of working, and I won't be able to show my face to him again."

"That won't happen. Please give me a chance?"

"…"

"Please?"

"…Go. Embarrass me."

"Thank you. Now…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Done!"

"Wh—what?"

"I called the director and you aren't scheduled to come till nine in the morning tomorrow. And it took less than two minutes!"

"…Can you get my phone…it just made the text alert noise."

"Yes, here."

"'Sakura Haruno, you are excused from your previously scheduled shift for Tuesday, the twenty-first from seven AM to twelve PM.' How did you do that?"

"I've told you many times my family has important ties in the city. I thought you understood that when you met them. Or saw my home. Frankly, if you had seen nothing and no one but Fugaku, you would simply understand that we are an influential group. That guy looks like pure mafia."

"When you said that, I thought you meant political ties. Someone from your family could very easily run for mayor. Or something."

"I can also threaten people into loosening their stranglehold on their employee, if I want to. Your director already knew my name, and so he should. He didn't want to anger me, so he's still paying you for the shift you would have been working."

"…We'll talk about this in the morning. I can't interrogate you about this with half my mind already unconscious. Please let me sleep now, Madara."

"Of course. Make yourself comfortable."

"In my own bed? Oh, sure. Move your leg."

"Nope."

"I'll give you a kiss."

"Hmmmmm, maybe."

"…"

"…"

"There. Leg, please?"

"All right, all right. Warm enough?"

"Yes, Dad."

"Now, let's not begin the "daddy" phase right now, it's time to sleep. Honestly!"

"Geez…"

"Well, are you actually warm enough?"

"Yes. Are you comfortable with your hair in your face like that?"

"Isn't it always? I'm fine."

"…Love you."

"I know, love. Now, sleep."

"…"

666

So did you enjoy that metric ton of fluff? (Btw I was kinda-sorta thinking of it as a snippet/flash-forward/something from Animal Kingdom, but not necessarily...)

I haven't written straight, uninterrupted MadaraSakura for a long time, it was quite refreshing and adorable c: I rather enjoy writing a Sakura who more or less admits she really, really cares for Madara, but has trouble saying it because, on top of being a f**king sexy and loving boyfriend, he's weird, intimidating and reacts explosively to affection. Well, I, for one, love him that way, so that's what you get with me and my writings! :I I can only hope Vesper finds it satisfactory, too!

Speaking of Vesper, that is, the person for whom I wrote this story because she won second place in a oneshot contest, another one of those is coming up in March! Details later, but get your plot bunnies in line, and see a poll in my profile for a potential awesome prize you could get…which I will pay for. Go see.

Excuse me while I go get ready to attend a con on the eleventh, cosplaying a Pokemon :D

Ta…Storm