A/N

Actually Spoony's review of Pagan that inspired this rather than the game itself. Still, in light of its game mechanics, maybe that's for the best...


Shades of Grey

You know what? I really hate the colour grey.

Surprised? You expected I'd hate Lord British? The Guardian? Demons and monsters? No. Despite everything the life of an Avatar has dumped on me, despite all the quests I've had to perform, nothing's got to me like the colour grey.

Alright, to be fair, I can dump a lot of my angst on the Guardian. He's the one that took away all my gear after saving Serpent Isle. He's the one who dumped me in the world of Pagan. He's the one who goes on about how Britannia is burning and the sweet sounds of lamentation every few minutes, as if I'm not already aware that Britannia is now vulnerable to the red-headed bastard. And hey, even if I moved on from the Guardian, there's a lot to hate in Pagan as well. Zombies. Platform-esque jumping that I can't seem to control for some reason. The titans. Um...more zombies. Oh, and those exploding chests.

I can still feel the burns...

But no. There's one thing I really hate about Pagan, and that's its colours. All of Morgaelin is bathed in some kind of twilight, the kind that reminds me of vampires, werewolves and romance novels for some reason. Not that there's any chance of romance mind you, since no-one here knows who I am, but...well, anyway, what really gets to me are the realms of the elemental titans. Earth, fire, wind, water...no heart, mind you, but hey, I'm all for slaying servants of the Guardian. Even if their dungeons don't represent their host elements at all. Dungeons that are grey, grey, and more grey...

...that's what gets to me. How grey they are...grey...grey...grey-black...grey...

But hey, that's all over now. The time has come to slay the titans. And hey, the Ethereal Plane is nice. You know, in space...with teleporters...pretty space...gateways that lead to...grey dungeons...

Aw, crap.

I hope Britannia is any colour but grey when I get back.