Episode Two: Not-So-Happy Campers, Part Two (Continued)

The Screaming Grizzlies, happy about their win in the first part of the challenge, were singing the "Ninety-Nine bottles of Beer on the Wall" song while carrying their crates on the pull cart that they had won. Meanwhile, The Killer Bones were struggling with pushing, pulling, and kicking their giant crates on the beach floor to the second part of the challenge. While pushing their crates, Pansy stopped in pain.

"Ouch!" she cried out while cradling her hand, "I think I just got a splinter!"

"SHUT IT AND CARRY YOUR CRATE!" Marietta yelled as she walked over, picked up Pansy's crate with ease, and put it back down. "Chicken!" she snarled.

"Hey! I'm not a chicken!" Pansy yelled back. But in reply, Marietta pointed up at the chicken hat that Pansy was wearing (and had to wear for the rest of the day) as a sign of proof.

"Well," Pansy rebuffed, "I'm the only one here with summer camp experience! You need me!" But Marietta only rolled her eyes and decided to help Neville. Although Neville didn't jump either for the team, at least he accepted the fact that he was a chicken and actually pulled his own weight.

Seamus stopped in mid-track and put down his crate. "Sorry, you guys," he said to his team, "But I need to take a piss."

"Hurry up," Marietta said to him as he walked back, "We're already behind."

"I need to pee, too," Parvati said as she stopped pushing a crate with Padma." Oh my God, I have to pee also!" Padma exclaimed as she and Parvati smiled at each other. The three of them wandered backwards into the woods to relieve themselves of nature's calling. A mosquito-like insect buzzed around Pansy and landed on her eye. "Ouch!" she cried as she slapped her eye, causing the insect to die, "I think something just bit me!"

"SHUT IT, CHICKEN!" Marietta yelled back at her once more.


The Screaming Grizzlies were still at their song in a light and happy mood. "Hey, you guys, there's the campgrounds!" Susan yelled out as the campgrounds came into view. "That was really easy," Dean said enthusiastically. "I'm pleasantly surprised!" Justin agreed.

At the Killer Bones team, Seamus, Parvati, and Padma had finally come out of the woods.

"About time," Marietta growled at them.

"Can we please go now?" Pansy complained as she covered her right eye, "I think my eye is swelling up!"

The twins went resumed pushing their crate, but just then, Padma felt the sudden need to itch. "Hey, I'm starting to get a bit…itchy. Do you need to itch too?" "Yeah, I do. I know what you're feeling," Parvati agreed as the itching sensation took over her, "Like, really bad."


"Now remember," Lockhart said to the Screaming Grizzlies as they each began to bite the crates, "You can only use your teeth to open the crates. I thought of that one myself!"

Luna struggled to open the box by pulling on the rope. "Hey! You Guys! I think I got mines opened!" She stopped pulling the rope, and watched as the crate fell open, revealing building parts inside. "Ow, ow , OWWWWW!" She cried in pain as she covers her mouth, "I got a rope burn on my tongue!"


Parvati and Padma were still pushing their boxes, the itching sensation growing more and more. "Okay, now mine is reaaalllllyyyy itchy!" Padma cried out.

"Mine's feels like it's burning," Parvati complained. They both looked down behind them, and saw that their upper thighs, leading up right below their shorts to their buttocks, were glowing red and slightly bumpy.

"That's it," Padma cried as she stopped pushing the crate, "I HAVE TO SCRATCH!"

The twins stopped pushing their crate and instead violently scratched their buttocks. "Hey, you two," Lockhart called from overhead on his broomstick as he flew down to see the cause of trouble, "You both are already waaayyyy behind the others. Like, really. What's the problem?"

"Their butts are itching them," Pansy said. Lockhart turned, and flinched in revolt from Pansy's swollen eye, which had turned a shade of green. "Holy shit, that's not good!" Lockhart cried out in sight of her eye.

"Did you guys happen to squat down when you peed in the woods?" Ginny asked as she confronted the twins.

"Yeah…?"

"Did you notice what kind of plants you guys were squatting over?"

"Yeah, they were oval shaped, green, and just, like, all over the place."

"Were they low to the ground, and about this big?" Ginny then did a small gesture with her hands.

"Yes, they were!" They nodded fervently.

Ginny had to fight off fits of laughter before telling them the next bit of news. "You guys just squatted in Poison Ivy!" she laughed at them.

The twins instantly stopped itching and stared at Ginny bug-eyed. After the realization hit them, they jumped up and down, going into freak out mode. "WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT DO WE DO!" As they jumped up and down, Lockhart only laughed at them, clearly enjoying the speculation. "Now that's funny!" He laughed as he pointed at the twins. The twins, meanwhile, were on the sandy floor, dragging themselves across the sand to try to relieve their itchy butts.


On the campgrounds, The Screaming Grizzlies had managed to open their boxes, and were pulling out the contents from within. "Hey, I got pieces of wood!" Dean cried out. "I got some tools here, like hammers, and a pool liner!" Ron called.

Cho was reaching for her objects in the box Lavender and Romilda walked up to her together, causing Cho to look at them with suspicion. "Listen," Lavender began, "I'm sorry about earlier when I called you an Asian suffering stuck up wannabe glamour girl. I really didn't mean it, and by the way, I love your hair! It's really pretty!"

"Oh really?" Cho asked, very flattered, "Well, I'm sorry about throwing you off the cliff and stuff!"

"No problem, I needed a push. Truce?"

"Yeah, Truce," and the two girls shook hands and hi-fived each other, then went back to doing their tasks.

"Hey, did you really mean all that stuff you said to Ching back there?" Romilda asked.

"It's Cho," Lavender corrected, "And Hell no. Cho's going down! And P.S.: That hair-style of hers is the ugliest way I've seen people do up their hair!"

"Ohhh…but wait…If you hate her, why are you being nice to her?"

"Wow, you've never seen one of these shows before, have you? You've got to 'Keep your Friends close, and you Enemies closer.'"

"Ohhhh…I'm your friend, right?"

"Oh yeah, you are…for now." Lavender then walked away, leaving Romilda to think that she's made a new friend amongst her team.


While the Screaming Grizzlies began to build the hot tub, the Killer Bass finally managed to reach the campgrounds. "Finally," Collin panted, "We made it!"

"Hey," Cho said as she and some of the teammates she was looking with looked up at them, "Aren't you guys missing a pair of female twins?"

The Killer Bones looked around fervently as realization hit them that Parvati and Padma were no longer amongst them. Meanwhile, Parvati and Padma were still on the beach. They had pulled down their shorts and underwear, and were sitting in the water with their exposed buttocks, letting the water sooth their itchy backsides.

"They're, um, getting a drink," Pansy said.

"Yeah," Collin said, then he whispered in an undertone to Cormac, "That is, if you drink water through your ass!" He and Cormac sniggered silently with each other.

Cho then shuddered in disgust as she looked at Pansy's swollen green eye, which had no begun to throb. Pansy saw what she was looking at, and made to quickly cover her eye.

"Woah! What happened to your eye?" Cho asked concerned.

"Oh, nothing," Pansy reassured calmly, "It's only allergies!"

"Well, I think it's getting worse," Cormac said. Indeed, it looked worse than when it first appeared moments ago. "Shut your mouth," Pansy whispered to him, "We don't want them to know that!"

"Okay you guys," Harry said as he stood on top of the crates, "It's not too late to do this! We can still come back and win!"

However, his teammates simply sat on the stairs to their cabins, all hope lost to them. While sighing and moping, Pansy revolted in disgust when she spotted Cormac picking deep into his nose. "EWWWW!" She cried out at him.

"What?" he asked as he wiped his finger on his shorts.

"Dude, that's really disgusting!" Ginny said as she moved away from him.

"Okay guys," Pansy said as she stood up from the steps, "We have a hot tub to build, and we need a project manager. Since I've been a Prefect and know all about leadership, I nominate myself as Project Manager."

The others simply looked at her, causing no objections. "So, when do we begin, Cyclops?" Draco asked, sarcastically, making fun of Pansy's eye. Pansy growled as she made to attack Draco, but restrained herself. "Just start opening the crates! Ginny, go find those itchy twins! We've got a hot tub to build, and we're gonna need all the help we can get!"


The Screaming Grizzlies were almost done with their hot tub; it was already filled with water and they were hammering on the final touches. The Killer Bass had finally managed to put up the outer part of their hot tub, but it was looking extremely shabby and dangerous, and after putting on the last piece, it had completely fallen apart. The Grizzlies used teamwork to help each other finish their tasks, but the Bones fooled around and argued. The Grizzlies' hot tub was neat and held all the water in, while the Bones had to duct tape theirs to keep the water from flowing out, and even then, water was seeping out from the bottom.

Then came judgment time. Lockhart came and carefully inspected the Screaming Grizzlies' hot tub. After about five minutes, he stepped back from the hot tub. "Now this," he said, "Is an amazing hot tub!"

The Screaming Grizzlies cheered, happy with their results. The Killer Bones watched nervously as Lockhart inspected their shabby, jacked up hot tub. He tapped the hot tub once, and it squirted out water at him, then it shuddered and completely fell apart, spilling water everywhere.

"Well," Lockhart said as the water spilled on his new shoes, much to his annoyance, "It's clear who the winners are today. It's The Screaming Grizzlies!"

The Screaming Grizzlies cheered over their victory of the first challenge, while the Killer Bones hung their heads in shame. "Grizzlies," Lockhart continued, "You are safe from elimination tonight! And, as an added bonus, you get to enjoy this hot tub for the rest of your stay here!" The Grizzlies cheered even louder. Lockhart turned to face the Killer Bones. "Killer Bones, sorry, but you lost. I will be seeing your sorry asses at the campfire ceremony tonight!"

"Yay, we won!" Romilda cheered, and she, Susan, and Lavender each hugged each other while jumping up and down in excitement. Dean hopped out of the hot tub and started cheering. "Yeah! We get to stay-ay! We get to stay-ay! We get to stay-ay!" The girls stopped and stared at him in confusement, for Dean was completely naked, and his "private parts" dangled around. He cheered as he ran up and hugged Romilda and Lavender, the latter being disgusted by the fact that Dean would hug her while he was completely naked.


Dinner in the Main Lodge was all but pleasant for The Killer Bones; they knew perfectly well that one of them would be sent home right after dinner was over. They sat there in an awkward silence, focusing more on trying to devour Snape's inedible food (if they could call it food).

"So, what do we do now?" Parvati asked when the choice of trying to eat dinner became demolished.

"Well, we have to figure out who to vote off," Pansy replied.

"Well, I think it should be Princess or Plantboy here," Draco said as he pointed at Pansy and Neville.

"What? Why?" Pansy cried out.

"Well, unless I've gone mental, you two are the only ones here at this table wearing chicken hats. And if anything, I'd rather take my chances with Plantboy over you." Neville smiled as Draco clasped a hand on his shoulder, happy that he would pick him to stay in the team.

"But wait! You guys need me! I'm the only one-"

"We know," Ginny interrupted, "You were a Prefect at Hogwarts. But seriously, who would you pick?"

Pansy looked around the table at her teammates, seeking the one she thought no longer needed to be on the team.

"What about Seamus?" Pansy pointed out. "NOOOO!" Romilda cried out as she stood up from the other team's table. Her teammates looked confusedly at her, surprised at her concern for Seamus, let alone the other team. She caught herself and corrected her statement as she quickly sat down. "I mean, there's no salt to put on this food! What a bummer!"

"Hey, at least he jumped off the cliff, chicken," Draco fired back at Pansy.

"SHUT IT, MALFOY!" she fired at him, making it the first time she's ever called him by his surname, which somewhat had an effect on him.

"Hey guys, c'mon, just chill," Harry said as he got up between Draco and Pansy.

"I've had enough of this prison food for one day. If you need me, I'll be taking a nap," Draco said, a little hurt, as he got up from the table and walked out the Lodge.

"You can't do that!" Pansy called after him, "We still haven't decided who to vote off yet!"

"Well, I don't get why we lost, mates," Cormac spoke up as he pointed to the other team, "I mean, c'mon, they're the ones who's got six girls on their team!"

Everyone gasped and stared at Cormac, disapproving of his sexist comment.

"Okay, what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Ginny growled as she and Marietta suddenly appeared on either side of him.

"Yeah, homeschooler," Marietta hissed as she banged her fist on the table, "Please, enlighten us!"

"Well," Cormac started, "Guys are way stronger and way better at sports than girls!"

All the boys backed away as the girls shot death glares at Cormac.

"Hold up, I know he did not just say that!" Harry exclaimed.

"My father told me to look out for the girls while I'm here, alright? And to help them if they can't keep up!"

At this comment, Marietta picked up Cormac by the neck and lifted him up in the air, while Ginny prepared to punch the living daylight out of him.

"Still think we need your help, sexist?" Marietta growled.

"N-N-Not really," Cormac gasped.

"Okay, c'mon girls, give him a break," Harry interfered and Marietta dropped Cormac on the floor, "At least he didn't say that guys are smarter than girls, right?"

"But, they are," Cormac said, and Marietta attacked him.


At the Campfire Pit, The Killer Bones gathered around the campfire as Lockhart stood amongst them, preparing for the departure of one of these teenagers. The girls still glared at Cormac as he sat up front with Draco. "Hey, mate, you've got a lot to learn now that you're back in the real world," Draco said to him.

"Killer Bones," Lockhart said as he stood before them, holding a platter of marshmallows, "In camp, marshmallows represent a tasty treat for all to enjoy by roasting it by the fire. At this camp, marshmallows represent Life. You've all casted your votes and made your decisions. There are only ten marshmallows on this plate. When your name is called, come up and grab a marshmallow. The one who doesn't receive a marshmallow must immediately walk to the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers. Meaning, you're out of the contest! And you can't come back. Ever."

Everyone looked nervously around, each hoping to get a marshmallow and not get voted off.

"The first marshmallow goes to…Harry."

Harry's face brightened up as he got up to get his marshmallow from Lockhart.

"Next…Seamus."

Seamus cheered as Lockhart placed a marshmallow on his stick.

"Parvati…Ginny…Neville…"

The three of them walked to get their marshmallows. Harry winked flirtatiously at Ginny, and she in return smiled back warmly at him.

"Collin…"

"Yes!" Collin cheered silently as he grabbed a marshmallow.

"Padma…"

"Yay! Thank you Lockhart!" Padma exclaimed as she ran up to claim her marshmallow before hugging her twin.

"Draco."

Draco smiled satisfyingly as he got up and grabbed his marshmallow. Lockhart then looked at Pansy and Cormac.

"Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the evening. The one who doesn't receive it will leave us for good." Cormac and Pansy shook in their seats, anxious to get that marshmallow and stay in the game.

Lockhart kept pointing his fingers back and forth between them, before finally settling on a camper. "Pansy."

Pansy cheered as she ran up to claim her marshmallow.

Cormac hung his head in shame and sadness, as he was the first camper to leave the show.

"Dock of Shame is that way, sir. And I can say that I'm not all that surprised. I watched you pick your nose. That is not sanitary."

Cormac got up and made his way to the Dock of Shame. Lockhart looked at the others.

"The rest of you enjoy your marshmallows. You are all safe…only for tonight…"

As they enjoyed their marshmallows, Pansy looked over at Draco and gives him an apologetic stare. Draco nodded his head curtly and revealed a small smile, accepting the apology that couldn't be put into words.


Hermione: Yeah…this camp still pretty much sucks. But, now that I'm here, I might as well actually try to win.


"To the Screaming Grizzlies!" Justin shouted out as he gave a toast at the Screaming Grizzlies' hot tub party. "Screaming Grizzlies!" The rest of the team yelled as they clanked glasses of soda with each other. Cho, Dean, and Ernie started dancing and chanted "Go Grizzlies!" as they did so. Some members of the Killer Bass walked by, jealous at the Grizzlies' party, and Pansy stopped when she saw the camera.

"Are you recording this?" she asked to the camera. "Good," then she began to talk to the viewers at home. "The Screaming Grizzlies can enjoy their little party now, but everyone better watch out, because I'm going to win this competition! You just wait and see! Just wait!"

~XXXX~