I'm sorry, I had to take the characters considerably out of their time for this to work, but the 11th Doctor has far and away the best clothes. This story is dedicated to my friend Louisa for her 16th birthday.
Remus was reading calmly on his bed. A perfectly normal activity for any teenage boy on a Saturday night. Well, for some teenage boys. Too few to call it normal, really. But screw it, he was a werewolf. Once you have that, why even bother trying to be normal?
A small sound made him look up. Sirius was checking his reflection in the mirror, his back to Remus, who definitely didn't check out his arse. Which looked pretty hot in the brown trousers. Good thing the jacket didn't cover it. No need to deprive the world of the sight...
Sirius spun round, grinning as he saw exactly what Remus had been doing. Despite the fact that they had been officially (whatever the hell that means) dating for five months, despite the fact that they both knew Sirius didn't give a flying fuck, Remus still felt his face heat up. Still grinning, Sirius brought his face so close to his boyfriend's that their noses touched, whispering so low that he was practically growling in his ear.
"Sixteen year old boys do not blush, Moony." Many Hogwarts students (both genders) would have fainted at the sound of that voice. But Remus was fixated, not on the voice, but on something around Sirius' neck. Momentarily disappointed, Sirius wondered what on earth could stop Remus picking up on the fact that he had been called 'boy' again. The answer came loud and clear a moment later. Well, more strangled than clear, to be honest. But needs must.
"Merlin, Sirius, are you wearing a bow tie?" Sirius stood up, and straightened the bow tie in a way that triggered something at the back of Remus' mind.
"Yeah, well, bow ties are cool." It was at this point that Remus' jaw began to drop in delight and surprise, but Sirius didn't even notice. He had turned his back again and was rummaging in his trunk. Eventually he faced Remus, pulling the brow of his hat down a little further over his face. Remus evidently took a second too long to speak, because Sirius began to explain in the rambling, oddly vulnerable voice that Remus could never quite believe really belonged to him.
"Well, you know, you told me about Doctor Who, you remember? When you were trying to prove that muggles could have awesome stuff too? So I watched a couple of episodes, and they kept talking about the Stetson and the bow tie and how cool they were, and you said it too, and - "
But we are destined never to know where that sentence was going to go next, because it was at that point his boyfriend, for want of a better word, pounced on him, silencing him in what was far and away the most effective method possible. Between desperate, breathless kisses, words that will not be reported here for reasons of the reader's innocence being maintained could be heard from Remus.
However, something was about to happen that had, as far as Remus knew, never happened before. An utterly unwanted thing, but no less remarkable for that. Sirius reluctantly pulled away, putting the Stetson back on his head, from whence it had been knocked a moment earlier.
"Moony, much as I love this, we've already scarred James once this week." The grin on his face was one that, in the future, every Hogwarts kid would come to recognise. It was the evil grin of a Weasley twin. (The first time Remus saw it on the faces of Fred and George, he nearly had a heart attack). Remus, on the other hand, groaned, though whether in disappointment or embarrassment at the memory was unclear. "Anyway," Sirius continued, "I want to keep this bow tie on for a bit longer. Come with me, Moony!"
Remus found himself being dragged by the wrist out of the dormitory, through the common room (where Sirius' outfit caused quite a stir), around the school until they reached the tapestry of Barnabas the barmy being clubbed by trolls on the seventh floor. As they walked past the wall repeatedly, Remus decided that he couldn't care less what was in that room, he was going to get that bow tie. And if Sirius had anything to say about it, well, it could bloody well be used to tie his hands. It could reasonably be said that Remus wasn't thinking straight. But then, he wasn't straight.
"Moony, please stop making that face," said Sirius, with more restraint in his voice than had ever been heard in any Marauder other than Remus.
"That one. It's very distracting. I am trying to picture what I want from the Room of Requirement. Trust me, if you keep making that face, the room will probably be scarred, not to mention you."
Fascinated though he was, Remus tried to keep a bit more control over his facial expression after that. Eventually, a door appeared in the wall.
"Open it," whispered Sirius. Remus did, and found one of the few things that he had not considered. In the room there was a large sofa, a television, and a Doctor Who box set. Remus turned to the person who had bothered to do all this for him, and had to ask the question that was on his mind.
"But doesn't muggle stuff just go crazy at Hogwarts?" Sirius rolled his eyes.
"You know, for someone so smart, you can be incredibly thick. This, my dear, is the room of requirement. The whole point is that it has whatever you want."
It was then that Remus reached the point of no return. He pushed Sirius into the room, and slammed the door rather too forcefully behind him.
Oddly enough, they didn't watch any Doctor Who that particular Saturday night.