If you've never watched Jackie Chan Adventures, I'd suggest checking out their wiki for some basic facts. And go watch it! It's an awesome show! Now Twilight on the other hand…
Also, pretend that all twelve Talismans are still around, as they will play a role in this story.
Disclaimer: I'm not Jackie Chan and I'm certainly not Stephenie Meyer (thank goodness…) so I don't own either category!
"JACKIE!" Uncle called from behind the cash register in his shop.
"Yes, Uncle?" Jackie called from the kitchen where he was busy cooking.
"WHERE IS MY LUNCH? IT IS TAKING TOO LONG! Do you want Uncle to STARVE?!" Uncle yelled.
"I don't want you to starve! This meat takes some time to cook properly!" Jackie exclaimed.
"FORGET IT!" Uncle yelled.
"I will have mungbean sandwich instead. Mungbean is good for you, yes?" Uncle got up from behind the counter to make his beloved sandwich.
"Where is Jade anyway? It is too quiet- except for your yelling." Jackie asked.
"Tohru take Jade to park. Keep her out of mischief." Uncle ate his sandwich happily.
The timer for the oven went off and Jackie carefully removed the roast from it.
Jackie, startled, nearly let the roast slip from his hands.
"WHAT IS WITH ALL THIS YELLING TODAY?" Uncle yelled.
Jade and Tohru bolted into the shop and shut the door behind them, quickly bolting up all the locks and bolts on it before leaning back on the door, breathing heavily.
"What is wrong with you two? Demons chasing you? Evil chi outside?" Uncle grabbed his magic puffer fish and lizard, which began glowing.
"No, worse…" Jade's eyes widened.
"Jade's friends dared her to watch… a Twilight movie…" Tohru shuddered.
"AIIEE-YAAAAHH!" Uncle's eyes widened and Jackie dropped the plate he was holding.
"Why would you watch such a terrible movie? Did Uncle not teach you better than that?" Uncle pointed at them accusingly as Jackie behind him cleaned up the plate and began to serve lunch.
"Well they did say they'd give me fifty bucks if I could make it through, but it was so not worth it…" Jade shook her head.
"Everyone, lunch is ready! Come eat!" Jackie declared. "And let us forget about that monstrosity!"
As they ate, little did they know that an evil being was lurking outside. The figure who was obviously a female, was wearing dark blue form-fitting jeans, black high-heeled ankle boots and a long-sleeved black hoodie with the hood up.
When she spoke, it was with a French accent and an eerie echo to it.
"Time to test zis new alternate dimension spell and who better to test it on than le Chans?" She snickered.
She removed the hood and revealed herself to have wavy dark red hair pulled back into a ponytail by a black bow, brown eyes and pale skin.
Her ears pricked up as she heard them talking.
"Seriously. That Twilight movie was horrible. I don't know how most of the girls even like that crap!" Jade exclaimed.
"I don't blame you, young Chan. Those books were truly horrible." The woman shuddered.
She paused for a moment, but then she got a sinister smile on her face.
"But you just gave me a wonderful idea…" She smirked, pulling her hood back up.
As the Chans finished their lunch, the bell indicating that someone had walked into the shop went off.
"Oh good. A customer. I will serve this one, yes?" Uncle got up from the table and wiped his hands on a napkin.
"Welcome to Uncle's Antique Shop. I am Uncle, how can I help you?"
"Ah, oui. So zis ees the famous antiques shop here in San Francisco. Anyway, I happen to be looking for antique bookends…" The woman said.
Uncle raised his eyebrow suspiciously at the woman's tone but said nothing.
"Well you come to perfect place for such things. Follow me." He beckoned to her and the woman followed.
As he did, he whispered to the others.
"Keep close watch on this woman. Uncle had the willies!" He shuddered.
Jade did a little salute.
"Oh zese are nice! Where are zey from?" The woman held up a pair of ebony wood-carved bookends that were shaped like vampire bats.
"Transylvania." Uncle said. "That will be fifty dollars!"
The woman fidgeted in her pockets.
"Well, Uncle, I'm afraid I will not be the one paying today…" She drew down her hood.
Uncle whipped around.
"AIIEE-YAAAAHH!" Uncle's eyes widened in recognition as Jackie, Tohru and Jade ran from another room.
"Know who I am yet, Uncle?" She spat.
"Morgane Gattineau!" He whispered.
"Who?" Jackie, Jade and Tohru exclaimed in unison.
"Not quite, old man. It's Dominque Gattineau here, her daughter. You defeated my mother in Paris years ago and now it's time for my revenge." Her hands glowed a dark red.
"I defeated your mother once so I will defeat you!" Uncle put himself in a fighting stance.
"I don't think so." Dominique did a backflip and blasted the J-Team clear across the shop.
Jackie lunged for her and they began to engage in hand-to-hand combat.
Jade ran into another room and came back with a bag containing the talismans.
She rummaged in it and quickly pulled out the Dragon talisman.
Clutching it tightly, Jade aimed several blasts of fire at Dominique, but she sidestepped and somersaulted out of the way of each one, which ending up doing more damage to the shop itself than Dominique.
Tohru went for her next, but Dominique leapt into the air and kicked Tohru in the back, who tumbled to the ground with a thunderous crash.
The French female smirked down at him until she was blasted in the back herself by Uncle's puffer fish.
Twirling it in one hand, he blew it off as it smoked.
Dominique's hair had become loose and she had a most deranged expression on her face as she picked herself up off the floor.
"I've had enough of you, Chans and fat guy…" She snarled.
She swiped her hand and a red, see-through dome appeared around her.
Uncle began his chant.
"Yu Mo Gui Gwui-"
Dominique held her hands above her head and a red sphere of light began to form.
When it disappeared, a black book with a picture of pale hands on the cover, holding an apple dropped into her outreached hands.
She smirked as she opened it and made the dome disappear.
Uncle blasted at her with his magic lizard, but she held up her hand, catching the blast in her hand and crushing it into smoke, as if it had been a simple piece of cotton candy.
The J-Team's eyes widened.
"Recognize this book?" She held it up for them to see.
The group took a few steps back as soon as they realized what it was.
"Yep. It's a Twilight book." She cackled.
Jackie raised an eyebrow. "You're going to beat us with a book?"
"You'll see." Dominique chuckled.
The book began to glow and it opened suddenly, pages flapping around as if trapped inside a non-existent gale.
"Enemies of mine by hook or by crook,
Let them become trapped inside this book!"
The book glowed even brighter and four beams of light surrounded the J-Team, who went closer together.
They screamed as the light dragged them towards the book, but no matter how much they resisted, they were dragged inside the book and it shut and stopped glowing with an eerie silence.
"He, he, he, he, he…" Dominique rubbed her hands together in glee as she shut the book and tossed it in a nearby garbage bin as she walked out of the shop, slamming the door behind her.
The J-Team fell screaming out of a bright red portal and tumbled ungraciously on the ground, Tohru landing in a nearby skip full of fish.
"I. Hate. FISH!" He exclaimed, picking one out of his hair.
"Where are we?" Jackie asked, disoriented.
"I dunno…" Jade clutched the bag of talismans to her tightly as she looked around.
"Let us get out of here so we can find out where that witch sent us so we can go home." Uncle led the way out of the alley that they landed in.
When the J-Team looked around, it was rather obvious to them all that they were no longer in San Francisco.
The ground around them was cool and slighty damp and smelled as if it had just rained, the sky above them was a dreary grey compared to the sunny San Francisco they had just been in, the designs of the buildings were remarkably different and none of the faces they saw were familiar ones, even in passing.
They examined the signs on the buildings around them.
FORKS Movie Theatre.
"Uh-oh…" Tohru shuddered.
A silver car drove past them, occupied by an extremely pale teenage-looking young man with bronze hair and a young woman who was just as pale as he was with wavy, brown hair.
Tohru and Jade looked back at the car and then at one another in horror.
"Do those faces look familiar to you?" Jade asked slowly.
"Unfortunately, yes…" Tohru shuddered.
Uncle held up a small book and began leafing through the pages as it glowed slightly.
"Now where did Dominique send us?" he asked himself.
Uncle's eyes widened as he focused on something further down the page.
"No…" He whispered to himself.
"What is it?" Jackie asked.
"We're in the world of the horrible book known as Twilight…" Uncle said softly.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jade and Tohru screamed in horror as the various townspeople walking past looked at them weirdly.