Born To Die

Lindsay was staring outside of the airplane windows. She could already see the snowy roads and the landing strip of the Irkutsk airport and her eyes started filling up with tears. She felt Connor's hand sliding into hers and his warm fingers entwined with hers. She turned her gaze from the window and looked into his eyes. He drew her lips for a kiss. She didn't want him to accept this investigation and not even to ever travel to Russia in his life, but he insisted and he made her promise him that she'll do everything he tells her to do throughout this investigation.

"During this case, you are like every other member in the team." He said. "And like the rest of them, you'll follow my orders." He also made her promise that she will never in her life tell the other members of the team about Magda's prophecy. It seemed that the kiss released Lindsay's tears and they started flowing down her face. Connor wiped her tears with his sleeve and wrapped his arm around her head, drawing her head towards his chest.

"What am I gonna do without you?" She mumbled.

"You'll live and you will be happy again." Connor replied. "I want you to be happy again. You're only 27 years old and you have your whole life ahead of you." He caressed her face with the back of his hand. She raised her head from his chest.

"What are you saying exactly?" She asked with tearful eyes.

"I don't want you to spend your whole life mourning. I want you to love again and to have children and to be happy again." He said.

"No." She said and a painful expression spread across her face.

"I know that now it seems like an impossible thing, but I don't want you to be dead from the inside just because I'm not living anymore." She looked like her life already ended and Connor's heart quivered inside his chest. "Come here, kiss me." He said and felt her lips covering his immediately. Peter and Claire watched them from the other side of the aisle and exchanged grins.

"Those two still feel like a couple of honeymooners." Peter said to Claire.

"To be honest, I wish I ever had such love in my life." Claire replied.

"Are you jealous, Claire?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, a little. Not that I want Connor specifically…" She said. "But look at them. They can barely let go of each other. I want this kind of love that can't let you go." She said. "Don't you?"

"Uh, I don't know. I never felt so strongly about any girl since Annie." He sighed. "And she insists on staying in Bell Island."

"That's too bad. She seems like a nice girl." Claire said. "Oh, look, it looks even colder here than in Canada." She pointed out of the window.

Connor and Lindsay were completely oblivious to the fact that their colleagues were gossiping about them just a moment ago and even if they weren't, they couldn't care less. Their tongues could not let go of each other and the only thing that eventually made them break the kiss was the airplane landing in Irkutsk.

The truck drove slowly on the rocky, yet snowy road that led to the plant where they were supposed to investigate and even though both Lindsay and Connor tried to take an active part in their colleagues' conversation, they were both distracted. They held hands throughout the entire drive and Lindsay leaned her head on Connor's shoulder and tried to sleep. She was so tired after crying for most of the flight and all the way to the airport. She already made up her mind to try saving his life, but she knew that if she couldn't, dying with him would be much better than living without him. She knew he would disagree with her if she told him. He wouldn't even let her come with the team. Therefore, she decided to hide it from him.

Their ability to get any privacy together faded the moment they went into the plant. For the first time since they were told about the investigation in Russia both of them were able to forget the forthcoming miserable event that was going to separate them forever and focus their attention on the investigation.

Lindsay was desperately looking for the toilet. Her stomach was turning upside down and she eventually found it, at the end of the hall. The toilet was old and wasn't very clean, but Lindsay collapsed on the floor and started throwing up as soon as her knees touched the white tile floor. Unfortunately, the toilet room also had the only shower in the building and Claire was busy taking a shower exactly at the same time. The moment she realized that someone entered the room, she grabbed her towel and went out of the shower, looking at Lindsay for a couple of seconds.

"What's wrong with you?" Her initial thought was that Lindsay had seen something very disgusting, her second thought was that Lindsay might have been infected with the parasite they were investigated. Only then it occurred to her that none of these were the reason for Lindsay's vomiting. "Oh, my God." She said.

"What?" Lindsay wiped her mouth with a piece of toilet paper.

"Connor doesn't know, does he?" Claire asked.

"Know what?" Lindsay gave her a confused look.

"Oh, jeez!" Claire replied. "You don't know either." She said as she dressed up.

"I'm not infected, am I?" A horrified yet hopeful expression spread all over Lindsay's face.

"No. At lease I don't think so. There are no symptoms that we know of." Claire calmed her. "When was your last period?"

"I don't know…" Lindsay mumbled. "A bit more than a month ago." She tried to cast her mind back to the last time she menstruated.

"You better check if you're pregnant." Claire suggested.

"Oh yeah, I'm just gonna go to the nearest pharmacy and buy myself a pregnancy testing kit." Lindsay replied sarcastically. "Get a grip, Claire. We're in the middle of nowhere."

"Well, it happens to be your lucky day." Claire replied. "I always carry a few home pregnancy tests in the first aid kit on long trips. You never know when it comes in handy." She pulled her sweater over her bodice and put on her shoes. "Wait, I'll get it for you." She said and left the bathroom. She came back a couple of minutes later and handed Lindsay a pregnancy test. "I'll give you some privacy. I'll be right outside if you need me." She said and left the toilet.

Ten minutes later, Lindsay opened the door and looked at Claire with confused eyes. The whole situation seemed so unreal to her. She wouldn't believe she was taking a pregnancy test in a freezing power plant in Siberia, of all places, and considering the situation she was in.

"I'm not sure what it means." She handed the test to Claire. Claire inspected the stick for a couple of seconds.

"It's positive." She declared. "You're most definitely pregnant." Lindsay stared at her with shock for a few seconds and her chin was shaking. Claire expected Lindsay to accept the news with a smile, but instead Lindsay burst out crying. She buried her face in her palms and sobbed bitterly. Claire wrapped her arms around Lindsay's body and gently rubbed her back to soothe her. "It's alright." She said. "I don't know how you feel about it, but it's normal." She truly wasn't sure if Lindsay was happy or upset about it. She would expect Lindsay to be thrilled and be running down the halls to tell Connor about it, but she knew from her past experience that some women are very emotional when they learn that they're pregnant. She cut a piece of toilet paper and handed it to Lindsay, who wiped her tears.

"You can't tell Connor." She said as she pulled away from Claire.

"Of course I'm not gonna tell him. You should be the one telling him, not me." Claire replied. Lindsay threw the toilet paper into the toilet bowl and flushed the water. She dried her face with the end of her sleeve and sniffled.

"I think I'm gonna get some sleep." She said and walked out of the toilet.

Connor was lying in bed when she entered the room and she lied down next to him. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close, relishing the warmth of her body. She turned in bed a few time and the mattress squeaked. Finding out about the pregnancy really shook her up. She came to Russia, knowing that she was going to lose her life for Connor, but how could she do it when she had a baby growing inside her?

"You're restless." Connor whispered into her ear. She turned in bed again, to face him.

"You can't die in here." She whispered back. "You have so much to live for." She looked into his eyes and put her palm on his cheek, gently caressing it. "I'm pregnant." Her voice was choked. Her words made Connor's eyes fill up with tears. "You can't leave us like this. I want this child to have a father. A living father." She said. He kissed her and his fingers brushed through her hair.

"I love you, Lindsay. Don't ever forget that." He whispered. They fell asleep together.

Connor woke up in the middle of the night. His stomach was hurting. In fact, it felt like something was crawling under his skin. He looked at Lindsay who was sleeping next to him and got up of bed, being careful not to wake her up. He walked out of the room and lifted his shirt, looking down at his stomach. He blinked a few times when he saw that something was indeed crawling under his skin. It looked like a thick and short snake. He gasped as he realized what it meant. He had the parasite inside his body.

Connor walked to the toilet and closed the door behind him. His whole body was shaking and beads of sweat started forming on his forehead. It caught him off guard. After Lindsay told him about the pregnancy, he started thinking of ways he could save himself. Only now he realized that no matter what he does his fate will still catch up with him. How will he be able to look into Lindsay's eyes and tell her that he's infected?

It was early in the morning when he came back to bed. Lindsay would never agree to leave him there if she knew he was dying. She would stay with him and would rather dying with him. She could not know that he was infected.

Claire screamed in horror as the parasite broke through Dolf's chest and attached itself to Cooper's chest. Connor rushed to Cooper's side and stabbed the parasite, trying to avoid the lime green goo that oozed out of the parasite's body. It was smeared all over his hands and he wiped it in his pants as he commanded the team to evacuate the power plant and rush Cooper to a hospital. Lindsay came to his side and grabbed his arm. He knew this would happen and prepared for this.

"Lindsay, you have to leave. You can't stay here." He said calmly.

"No, I'm not leaving you behind." She said. "I don't want you to be a hero. I want you to be alive." She called out.

"Lindsay, I'm giving you an order. Leave, now!" He said. She nodded her head. "You have to evacuate this building. Cooper needs to get to a hospital." He insisted.

"The team can handle without me. I'm staying with you." She replied mulishly. He sighed as she wrapped her arms around his body.

"Why are you being so stubborn?" He sighed and kissed the crown of her head.

"I want to make sure you won't get hurt. We came here together and we'll leave this place together." She said. Connor knew it was the completely wrong time to do it, but he drew her for a deep kiss and refused to let go of her lips for a couple of long moments. He knew it was going to turn out okay. Magda had promised him that Lindsay will survive this investigation and so will Cooper. Suddenly, they saw Peter running back towards them.

"Peter, what's going on?" Connor asked.

"The electricity. The doors at the loading dock are locked. We need to turn it on." Peter called out. The three of them ran to the operation hall, where all the switches to all the machinary were located. Together, they all started pulling the levers on the left side down and they could hear the buzzing of the electrical current going through the machine. Connor looked at Peter and motioned his head towards Lindsay. Gently, he grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Lindsay, can you run?" He asked. She nodded. She was glad that they could finally leave this horrible place. "Good. You need to listen to me now." He continued and she nodded again. "I want you to run as fast as you can and leave the plant. Don't look back and don't turn around. Do you understand?"

"I'm not leaving unless you're coming with me." She replied.

"Peter and I will be right behind you." Connor reassured her.

"Promise me that you will leave this plant." She said.

"I promise." He replied. "I love you, Lindsay." He drew her for another kiss.

"I love you too." She said.

"I'll meet you outside. Run, now!" He said. Lindsay started running. Connor never broke any promise and that was a known fact. She was convinced that she heard his feet hitting the floor, right behind her and so she didn't feel the need to look back. She ran outside the plant and joined her teammates who gathered near the exit from the loading dock, trying to open the doors.

Back in the operation hall, Connor heavily sank to the floor and grabbed the tranquilizer gun. Peter could see that he was in a great pain. His eyes widened as he realized that Connor was infected.

"Go, Peter, get out of here." Connor panted heavily.

"You're coming with me," Peter replied. Connor let out a moan. "We'll get you back to headquarters and get that thing outta you." He tried to help Connor up, by pulling Connor's arm. Connor stood up, leaning on Peter's shoulder. He flung himself against the other wall of switches and started pulling them down.

"No, Connor, remember what Dolf said about the compressor." Peter warned him.

"I know." Connor replied. Suddenly the motion detector Peter held in his hands started beeping.

"I've got movement." He said and turned around. "There," He pointed at one of the corners of the room. "There," He pointed to another spot. "There…" He sighed. "They're trying to surround us."

"I'll hold them off, give you cover. Now go. That's an order." Connor recruited all the strength he had in him.

"No!" Peter said and took one step towards Connor, who was standing with his hand on the lever, ready to pull it down.

"I'll never survive the trip." Connor's voice held a tone of sadness. He lowered his gaze to the floor, but then raised it back and looked into Peter's eyes. "But this thing might."

"Connor…" Peter's hand shook. What was he supposed to tell Lindsay? That Connor broke his promise?

"They're starting to breath outside their hosts. Somebody has to take that information out." Peter shook his head, his eyes begging Connor to give himself a chance. "I refuse to let anyone else die under my command. Now go." He said. Peter put his arm on Connor's shoulder. "Go!" Peter stared at him for a long moment. He could see Connor was determined to stay and blow the entire place up. He turned around and started running, hearing explosions behind him as the power overloaded. A few of the generators exploded right next to him as he ran through the halls.

Peter was already outside when he heard a gigantic explosion behind him. He turned his head to see a huge flame coming out of the building and heard his colleagues calling out his name the moment they spotted him. He kept on running as fast as he could towards them. Suddenly he heard a louder explosion and the earth shook under his feet. Dust started falling on his head and he stumbled on the frozen ground, running the rest of the distance that seperated him from the team. Lindsay ran to him and grabbed his coat.

"Where is Connor?" She cried out, "Where is he?" Peter held her arm, just above the elbow. He couldn't bear looking into her eyes, but he did it anyway. He slowly shook his head. Her eyes filled up with tears. She turned to look at the burning power plant and let out a soft cry. Peter gently wrapped his arm around her shoulders and made her take a few steps back. She collapsed to the ground, sobbing bitterly into Peter's shoulder.

"Guys, I'll stay with her here." Peter told his teammates when he saw that Lindsay won't leave her spot.

"Are you crazy? You'll freeze!" Anton said.

"We have to get Cooper to a hospital." Claire reminded them.

"Give us something to cover ourselves with." Peter said. Anton took two thick wool blankets out of the truck and handed them to Peter. "Now leave. Send someone to pick us up as soon as possible." He said. The rest of the team climbed into the truck. Peter wrapped one blanket around Lindsay's body and then wrapped the other blanket around himself. The engine roared as Ray started the truck and drove away from there. A few minutes later, Peter and Lindsay remained on their own, shivering in the Siberian cold and gazing at the burning building with tearful eyes.

Morning came; the silence around them became disturbing. The fire extinguished itself during the night and Peter's limbs were hurting from the cold. Lindsay's head was rested against his chest, her eyes were closed and Peter could see that her tears froze on her lashes. The roaring of a motor was heard from afar.

"Lindsay, wake up." He shook her gently. "Wake up, they're coming for us." Her skin was cold and bluish. "Lindsay, come on. Wake up." Peter called out. He saw a black truck coming closer and closer. Lindsay opened her eyes and stared at him with ice-covered gaze and Peter understood. Lindsay was still alive, but her soul was frozen, numb and dead.

Choose your last words

This is the last time

'Cause you and I

We were born to die…


Note: Lyrics at the end are from a song called "Born To Die" by Lana Del Rey.