A/N: This story was written for Big Time Rush One Shot Day on February 6, 2012.
Big Time Poll
Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan were called into Gustavo's office at Rocque Records for an "Emergency Band Meeting." Gustavo was pacing back and forth in front of them while the dogs stood at attention. The boys couldn't help but notice four camcorders setting on top of Gustavo's desk. Hadn't Gustavo and Kelly learned their lesson about giving them camcorders?
"Dogs, the Big Time Rush website is going to have a poll asking who their favorite band member is. I want you to each take a camcorder," Gustavo said as Kelly passed the gadgets out. "And tell your fans why they should vote for you. You will have twenty-four hours, and then we will upload the videos to the website, and voting will begin for another twenty-four hours."
"What does the winner get?" Carlos, Logan, and James asked in stereo.
Kendall rolled his eyes, not only at his three best friends, but also at Gustavo and Kelly. He saw right through the plan; Gustavo was trying to use "friendly competition" to turn the guys against one another. Well, Kendall didn't care what the victor got; he wasn't going to let this stupid idea cause him to get into a fight with his best friends.
"The winner gets a two page spread all to himself in the next issue of Pop Tiger magazine," Kelly answered.
"I'm in!" James exclaimed.
James didn't even know why they even bothered having a poll. The result of the poll would no doubt say that James was the most popular member of Big Time Rush. After all, he was the most handsomest. He was the most good looking. He was the most attractive. If anyone deserved to have their own two page spread in a magazine, it was him.
"And the winner will get a nice fat bonus," Gustavo added.
James, Logan, and Carlos all had dollar signs in their eyes. Kendall scoffed. He didn't care about being in some teenybopper magazine. He certainly didn't care about being rich either. Money doesn't buy you happiness after all. Apparently, Carlos, James, and Logan didn't get the memo.
"Count me in too!" Carlos announced.
"Show me the money!" Logan remarked.
"Hello there! I'm James Diamond!" James spoke into the camera in the suavest voice he could manage. "You should vote for me because…of my washboard abs!"
James proceeded to hitch up his shirt, flexing his abdominal muscles, and doing jazz fingers over his abs, showing them off to the camera. As far as James was concerned, if he didn't have the competition in the bag before, he certainly had it in the bag now. Carlos, Kendall, and Logan didn't have abs like James did.
James let his shirt fall back over his stomach. He raised the camera so it was pointing at his face.
"Besides, look at this face. It's not just a face. It's the face!" James stated, before doing jazz fingers over his face.
James gave his most smoldering look for the camera too. There was no doubt in his mind that would have the females swooning. They should just declare him the winner already. James turned his head to the sky as he daydreamed about having his own two page spread in Pop Tiger. It would practically be a dream come true for him. It was his favorite magazine. He and Katie both were avid subscribers.
All of a sudden, James came up with the most brilliant idea. This wasn't just about getting people to vote for him; it was also about giving the fans reasons not to vote for the other guys.
"Okay, so you shouldn't vote for Carlos because…well, see for yourself," James said as he made his way to the bedroom he and Carlos shared.
As soon as James made it to his bedroom, he made sure the camera got a good shot of the entire room. One side was clearly messier than the other. Of course, the messier side of the room belonged to Carlos.
"Carlos is a pig," James said bluntly. "I mean you can't even see the floor on his side of the room! How does he even know which of his clothes are clean and which of his clothes are dirty?"
James then swung the camera around so he was looking straight into it.
"Nobody likes a pig, but luckily for you, I'm not a pig, which is why you should vote for me. Well that, and because I'm James Diamond!" James said before checking himself out in his vanity mirror.
Carlos was standing on the roof of The Palm Woods in nothing but his swimming trunks. He had the camera trained on himself.
"You should vote for me because I'm the only one who knows to have fun! The other three are so boring!" Carlos said, giving a loud fake yawn. "Now I'm about to jump off the top floor of The Palm Woods into the pool below. Kids, don't try this at home. On second thought, it's really cool, so you might actually like it!"
Carlos got a running start, his bare feet pitter pattering against the rooftop. He did a cannonball off the roof and plunged into the water four floors beneath him. The splash he created looked more like a geyser than anything. The camcorder short circuited as soon as it hit the water, but Carlos wasn't even worried about that.
The wide smile on his face quickly disappeared when he saw the angry looks on the faces of other residents that had been in or around the pool at the time who were now thoroughly soaked. Carlos chuckled nervously, before getting the heck out of dodge with an angry mob hot on his tail.
Kendall was playing some video games in the living room when he noticed his camcorder on the coffee table with its lens facing him. He knitted his pronounced eyebrows in confusion, almost giving him the appearance of having one massive unibrow.
"How did you get here?" Kendall asked the camera.
Of course the camera being an inanimate object was incapable of rendering a response, but it hadn't stopped Kendall from asking anyways. He certainly didn't set the camcorder on the coffee table. Was it trying to tell him something? Impossible, right?
"Nu-uh! I'm not doing it! I'm not gonna let some stupid poll come between me and my best buds!" Kendall exclaimed, his voice growing louder by the second. "Don't look at me like that!"
Kendall had to tinkle, so he made the trek to the little boys' room. When he got there, perched on top of the toilet seat was his camcorder; or at least what Kendall thought was his camcorder.
"Where did you…? How did…weren't you just…?" Kendall stammered as he started to get a little creeped out by the camcorder that evidently was capable of locomotion.
Outside the bathroom, Logan pressed his body flat against the wall and clamped a hand over his mouth, trying his best to contain his laughter. And people said that Logan was easy to pick on. Logan was beginning to see how fun it was to pick on people. He especially liked messing around with Kendall.
The next day, Big Time Rush showed up at Rocque Records to turn in their footage to be uploaded to the Big Time Rush website; only James was the only one who had anything to turn in. Carlos' camcorder was ruined. Logan's and Kendall's camcorders hadn't been recorded on. Speaking of Logan and Kendall, both of them looked to be dead on their feet; neither of them had gotten any sleep last night. Logan had been too busy scaring Kendall with the two camcorders, and Kendall was too busy being scared by the two camcorders.
When James realized that he was the only one with any footage to turn in, he was on cloud nine. Now more than ever he was convinced that he had this in the bag. Besides, after footage of him showcasing his hot bod and good looks, James had no doubt in his mind that the ladies would be drooling and/or melting.
"Okay, are we done here? Can we go now?" Kendall asked grumpily.
"What's wrong with you? You look terrible!" Carlos commented, one of his arms in a sling, one of his knees in a brace, and a shiner under his left eye.
James snatched his camcorder and pushed the record button, aiming the lens at himself for some last minute footage.
"But I never look terrible!" James remarked.
Logan scoffed obnoxiously.
James stopped recording, and gingerly set his camcorder on Gustavo's desk, before wheeling around to face his Benedict Arnold of a best friend.
"Hey! You're just jealous because even when I have a bad hair day I still look better than you!" James retorted.
"Is that with or without your 'male' makeup?" Logan countered, using air quotes.
James gasped in horror.
"I thought I told you never to speak of that?" James replied.
"Oh, and what's this?" Logan replied, revealing the camcorder that he was hiding behind his back after stealthily snatching it off Gustavo's desk. "Why, it's my camcorder! And wouldn't you know it, it just happened to be recording while you confessed to wearing 'male' makeup! I'm sure our fans will get a kick out of that one!"
James gasped in terror a second time, this one louder than the first.
"Logan Mitchell, you have three seconds to give me that camcorder!" James warned.
"If you want it so badly, come and get it, Hair Boy!" Logan retorted.
James and Logan proceeded to run in circles around Gustavo's desk over and over and over again. Gustavo and Kelly traded looks with one another. Kelly smacked her forehead with her hand.
Logan chuckled to himself. He wasn't concerned about making himself look good for the fans; no, Logan was more intent on playing the role of spoiler. He rubbed his hands together in anticipation. He just came up with a diabolical plan to hinder sweet, innocent Carlos' chances of winning the poll.
Logan recalled how Carlos had stuffed the ballot box at their prom. It was thus safe to assume that Carlos would try to pull something similar when it came to the poll on their website. Logan knew that Carlos would get on the website and try to mass vote for himself. Logan was the only one with a laptop, so it was only a matter of time before Carlos came to him. Or maybe he wouldn't even come to him, maybe he would just use it without Logan's permission.
In preparation of that entirely plausible scenario, Logan was sitting at the kitchen table, applying super glue to his closed laptop. Sometimes, Logan was so brilliant that he even amazed himself. When Carlos went to open Logan's laptop, he would soon find himself in a sticky situation.
"Hmm…I wonder if the quantity of adhesive is sufficient? Let's see…" Logan said.
He placed his hand on top of the laptop. Only when Logan went to retract his hand, he found that he couldn't. Logan glared daggers at the offending object.
"Seriously? You've got to be kidding me!" Logan remarked.
Luckily, Carlos came bounding into the kitchen. He had already eaten breakfast. He had already had a brunch. It wasn't quite time for lunch yet. So this was more like his second brunch. The boy sure could eat. He opened up the refrigerator, poking his head in.
"Hey buddy, can I just say that I really appreciate you not sabotaging me? It's because you and me are BFF's, right?" Carlos asked Logan.
Logan felt a twinge of guilt when he thought of his not-so-innocent intentions concerning Carlos. Logan defended the underhanded choices he made though, chalking it up to the spirit of competition. Logan had a Machiavellian mindset; win by any means necessary.
"Hey Carlitos, do you think you can lend me a hand?" Logan asked.
Carlos closed the refrigerator door, his voracious appetite temporarily forgotten. He walked over to where Logan sat at the kitchen table.
"What seems to be the problem?" Carlos questioned.
"I seem to have gotten my hand stuck on my laptop," Logan said.
"Oh, say no more. I'll get it off for you."
"No Carlos, don't!"
But it was far too late. Carlos had placed his hand on the laptop right next to Logan's. He had originally intended to brace his hand against the surface to pry Logan's hand off the laptop, but Carlos only ended up getting his hand stuck on the laptop as well.
"Really Carlos? Really?" Logan asked, turning to face Carlos, who shrugged innocently.
The silver lining in all of this was that no one else could get their hand stuck on Logan's laptop now. Only because there wasn't room for anyone else's hand. Logan narrowed his eyes at Carlos who started laughing out of nowhere.
"What's so funny?" Logan demanded.
"I'm sorry! I can't help it! You're always pranking yourself!" Carlos exclaimed, doubling over in laughter after spotting the empty super glue, causing Logan to involuntarily double over as well.
"This coming from the guy who knew I got my hand stuck on my laptop only to put his hand on said laptop!"
"Hey! I was only trying to help!"
Logan held up his trapped hand, inadvertently holding up Carlos' as well.
"A lot of help you were!" Logan remarked sarcastically.
Once again, Big Time Rush was assembled in Gustavo's office, this time for the results of the poll. Gustavo and Kelly couldn't help but address the elephant in the room: Carlos and Logan side-by-side each with one hand stuck to a laptop.
"On second thought, I don't even want to know!" Gustavo commented.
"Yeah, me neither!" Kelly said agreeably.
Logan gave Carlos the cold shoulder when Carlos glanced over at him. Here the two of them have been practically holding hands for the last twenty-four hours. Due to their close proximity, they were forced to do everything together; everything. Showering, going to the bathroom, sleeping, you name it.
Carlos was actually kind of sort of glad. Due to their normally hectic schedule, what with rehearsals and school and all, Carlos and Logan hadn't really had much one-on-one time up until now.
On the other hand, Logan was mortified. This had to be violating some unspoken guy code about personal space. He shuddered when he recalled how much of a nightmare getting dressed was with Carlos joined at the laptop. Speaking of his laptop, it was no doubt rooned by now. After all, the poor thing wasn't waterproof. But Logan wasn't just going to not take a shower!
Gustavo cleared his throat.
"Anyways, the results of the poll are in, and I gotta say that it was really close," Gustavo declared.
"In fourth place, with twenty-three percent of the votes was Carlos," Kelly announced.
Carlos slumped his shoulders in defeat. He was sure that if his camcorder had been waterproof, and the fans got to see his awesome dive off the roof of The Palm Woods into the pool, things would have been different.
"In third place, with twenty-four percent of the votes was Kendall," Kelly said.
Kendall, however, was indifferent about that result. He hadn't been trying to win. Nor did he want to. However, he was sure that if he had wanted to, the results would have been much different; namely, he would have won. After all, he was the leader of their group!
James stuck his chin up in the air, already grinning from ear-to-ear. It was only a matter of time before he was revealed as the winner, and really, it's not like it would be much of a surprise. Although, James had to admit that he was kind of shocked that Logan finished in second. He thought for sure Kendall would have placed second since he was the leader of their group and all.
"In second place, with twenty-six percent of the votes was…" Kelly started to say as James nudged Logan forward with his elbow, Carlos trailing behind. "James, which means that in first place, with twenty-seven percent of the votes was Logan."
For all intents and purposes, someone might as well have slapped James in the face and then proceeded to spit on him.
"What? Him?" James shrieked in a high-pitched voice, pointing an accusing finger at an equally shocked Logan.
Carlos' eyes lit up with excitement as he had an interesting idea.
"Hey, since we're kind of a package deal nowadays, does that mean that I'll be on the two page spread too?" Carlos asked Logan.
"Carlos, when I do the photo shoot thingy, we won't be stuck! Trust me!" Logan responded.
Carlos pouted his lips and lowered his head.
"That was supposed to be my two page spread!" James shouted, launching himself through the air, and tackling Logan and Carlos to the floor.
A/N: Look at me, flirting with the rules. I think this got wilder the more the story went on. I also am pretty certain that it was chock-full of innuendos. That is kind of my thing…well, one of my things at least. But it wasn't technically slash, so no harm no foul, right? At any rate, I hope you liked this, and Happy Big Time Rush One Shot Day everyone!