Thump-The Little Blue Pill
The status quo of my life up until now has been boring and predictable.
I open my hand and look down, sighing as anxiety fills my body, my heartbeat already increasing.
Staring at the little blue pill in my hand that goes against everything that I have built my life around. The rules that I follow, the societal guidelines, the legal and ethical systems have all played a part in developing my conscience.
I'm a fucking lawyer, for crying out loud.
But this little blue pill would create something new, push me to open up, explore, and maybe get laid.
And that is what this whole trip was about, doing something new, something out of my comfort zone. I thought buying a plane ticket to a tropical island and taking off of work with short notice would be the extent of my radical behavior.
James paces behind me, huffing with impatience as I make up my mind.
Just all a part of the experience.
"Ed, come on man!"
There is a strong part of me that is yelling for me to stop and fake taking it, or to just pack my shit and run to the airport and back to the safety of Chicago.
That's right, run back to your normal, boring and safe life.
But as I look at the mirror, I see the other half of me: the tan skin, lightened hair and the sparkle in my eyes. This is the man I want to be; fun and alive.
"Fuck it," I mutter before popping the little blue pill into my mouth and washing it down with water. I am thankful that James knows me well enough that if I have to bend society's rules, this is as far as I am willing to go; just a push for my body, but not my mind.
James comes up and slaps me on the back. "Hell, yeah! That's what I'm talking about."
The smile on his face is approving of my rebellious actions. He knows how hard it is for me to do this, to "broaden my horizons". Part of me thinks he planned this just to test me, to push me.
"Let's go grab some dinner before heading to the club," James offers.
"Yeah, sounds good."
We leave the hotel room, heading to catch a taxi at the front of the hotel.
"So the club, lots of ladies there?" My mind is already working, trying to figure out how long before it takes effect, how long it will last and will there be any side effects.
Fuck, why didn't I ask this before I took the damn thing?
"Oh yeah," James says smirking. His confidence is infectious and I only hope some of it will rub off on me.
Once we are sitting in the taxi, James sighs as I sit next to him, my nerves rolling off of me, worst than when we zip-lined through the forest.
"Ed, man, calm down," he whispers. "What is the worst that can happen?"
Taking a calming breath, I force my body to relax. "Yeah, what's the worst that can happen?"