A/N Another one of those ridiculously short chapters x_x I promise you, the next will be longer! Well yes, not much to say about, really since it's so short. Just keep reviewing and be awesome! I love you all, and you make me keep going when I think I've completely lost it with this story ;w; Hugs and kisses for you, amazing human beings! Well, I hope you enjoy! And please leave a review to tell me what you think!


Chapter 17


I was back on the couch, sulking once again. Feliciano hadn't even tried to cheer me up this time, probably thinking I would get up in a few days. It had been three. And once again, with no job and no friends at all this time, I didn't find any meaning outside the stupid Italian dramas on TV.

"You're stupid! Can't you see she's cheating on you?!" I yelled in angry Italian, throwing the empty chocolate wrapping at the TV, huffing as I fell back in the couch. I crossed my arms over my chest, not wanting to stay sulking, but what else could I do? Gilbert had left me on the airport when we got back, making me find my way home on my own, without a message or anything. I just got turned down in one of the most horrible ways ever. Not that many people had turned me down, but that one had fucking hurt.

I sighed heavily, blinking as if to avoid crying, which I wouldn't do anyway. No way.

"Lovi, this is getting ridiculous." Feli frowned at me as he stepped in front of the TV, looking sternly at me. I looked up at him, gesturing at the TV.

"What? She's an idiot, and he needs to realize that!"

"I'm not talking about your stupid show," Feli said in frustration, shutting the TV off. "I'm talking about you! Sitting in the couch all day! Don't you have anything better to do?"

"…No." I answered honestly, since I didn't have anything better to do than sulk on the couch.

"Did something happen in Germany?" Feli carefully sat down in the couch next to me, looking at me with his huge eyes, filled with worry.

I didn't want to tell him, but I knew he would find out anyway, and he was my little brother after all. He deserved to know. Kinda.

"I-I told Gilbert that I love him," I said quietly, pulling my knees up to my chest.

I could almost hear his eyes widening and I felt his arms around me. "Oh Lovi! I'm so proud of you! What did he say?"

"That it's no point," I mumbled, feeling the tears burn in the corner of my eyes.

That got Feli quiet, and his arms tightened their hold around me. I don't say anything; I just hide my face in his arms, letting out silent tears. It's no point. It never was any point. He knew Gilbert would die from the beginning, and yet he fell for him, stupid as he was. He was happy with Antonio, so why couldn't he be happy with him?

"Do you think that it's no point?" I suddenly heard him ask, and I looked up at him with wide eyes.


"Do you think it was no point to tell him you love him?"

I kept quiet, hiding my face against his arms again, not wanting to answer him. This was just like that time; the time Feli had asked him if he regretted me becoming friends with Gilbert. The answer was all the same now. "No."

"Great!" Feli sang, letting go of me and getting my phone, pushing it into my hands. "Now call him!"

I looked down at it dumbly, as if I had forgotten how to use it. I pushed the lock-button, making the screen light up. To my surprise, I got a message. I never get messages. I quickly unlocked it, checking the message.

"You. Me. The usual café. How about now? /the awesome one"


He was already sitting there when I arrived. He sat at the table we usually sat in, having his usual cup of plain black coffee in front of him. I took a deep breath, stepping into the café and ordering my usual latte. God, I hate latte. I just kept drinking it because Gilbert ordered it for me the first time, so it felt wrong now to drink it while sitting here. He had told me I looked like a latte person. I didn't understand him, but I think I do ow. I liked him with a cup of coffee, so I think he had the right to like me with a cup of latte. In the latte you can see the changes. When it adds more milk or more coffee, sugar or even cream and ice. You can see it as clear as a day. With coffee it's harder, you never know if it was enough or if it was just enough. With latte you just know, because you can see it. Meeting Gilbert changed me. Like when you pour more coffee in the latte. I changed, feeling more mature now than when I was together with Antonio. I needed to grow up because of him, and I did, turning to to the better if I may say so myself. But I knew it wasn't over yet, it would probably never be. I swallowed thickly, looking down in the cup. Just like I think latte if better with more coffee, I think Gilbert made me to a better human. And for that, I love him. Stupid love, taking over my life. I snorted before I took the cup and went over to our table, sitting down.

"Hello, bastard," I said, sipping the liquid and deciding it was too hot to drink right now.

"Hi, lil Doc," Gilbert answered casually, sipping his coffee, and looking out from the window.

This reminded me of the first time we sat here. The exact same drinks, the exact same places. It seemed like they had never left, just sat there for months and months with no end. Think of that, his year was soon over, wasn't it? Soon it would be over for him, and Gilbert Beilschmidt would either be dead or survive. I shook my head. No, I shouldn't think like that. He would survive. He had to.

I tried to get comfortable with the silence, but it was killing me. I wanted to know why he called me there; I wanted to say how stupid I was because of what I said. Because I was in love with him.

"Look, about what I said-"

"Don't say anything," Gilbert cut me off, turning his head to look at me. "I should apologize, shouldn't I? I was being rude and mean and everything in between." He smiled awkwardly, glancing up at me. I blushed, unable to take my eyes off him even if I wanted to. He had that power on me, making me unable to look away from him, or even speak at times. "I guess I should have said something else. Like what I really think instead of going on about how fucked our relationship would be, even from the beginning."

I kept staring at him and he leaned forward, over the table until he was mere centimeters from my lips, grinning as he used to.

"But if it makes any difference, this dead man loves you too."

I felt my cheeks heat up and I glared at him. "That makes the whole difference, idiot," I mumbled before I leaned forward, this time it was definitely me who initiated the kiss. I could hear some gasps and even giggles from around us, but I didn't care. They weren't important. What mattered now were me, and my lips against Gilberts. Gilbert, the soon-to-be-either-dead-or-alive-man, who loved me back. My heart beat faster at the though, and I pulled away, breathing slightly heavier.

"What now?" I asked, after all I wasn't used to this. I knew how to handle Antonio and all his approaches, since he was the one starting everything, but with Gilbert everything was new. He was a different person, a complicated one at that, but I loved him. And love is the strongest, isn't it?

"We could get together," Gilbert nodded, smiling a little at me. I could feel the sadness behind it, and I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the rest. "And you know, spend the rest of my days together, and make the best of it."

I looked up at him. The stupid grin, the colorless hair, the glowing red eyes… How I loved it all. I never wanted them to go away; I never wanted them to fade. "I would like that," I said softly, wrapping my arms around his neck to kiss him again.