Understanding Batman for Dummies
Written by Dick Grayson
Chapter 1: Introduction
Hello and welcome to "Understanding Batman for Dummies" although this isn't a place, I can't see you and technically I can't welcome you if neither situation applies. I wrote this story (well, it's a book that I made over the computer for an English project we had to do where we 'pretend that we understand a famous person', so I typed it and eventually edited it for your enjoyment, but you get the idea) to finally help people to stop pausing their TV during a live show to Google why Batman did whatever he just did.
I don't see why people have the need to Google "Why did Batman wink at Robin when he said '[Insert stupid short quote here]". They don't even spell it right half the time! They always forget a question mark, I often become 'Ribin' across the search engines, they don't put proper quotation and so forth. Would it kill you to even try to spell it right? SERIOUSLY!
All other points aside, in this book, I'll take you through all I've come to understand about my beloved mentor, 'father', coach and guardian. By the end of this, you'll understand what a glare with a faint smile means and how setting a hand to my shoulder can turn a complete insult into a heartwarming compliment.
By this point, the majority of you fangirls (and fanboys despite the fact that even fanboys are still called fangirls) are thinking, "Why would you write a book that reveals the identity of Batman?" Well,-… um… It's not like anyone's really going to read this, right? The second Bruce even sees the title of this, he'd have my laptop and everything in it burning deep down in Tartarus or some place similar.
So just shut up and enjoy it while you can.