Mycroft Holmes, DI Lestrade had decided was a very attractive guy. He was tall, in very good shape, with these piercing blue eyes that, like his brother's, would scrutinise every move you made like an insect under a microscope.
But by God could the man talk.
He spoke in posh clipped tones and the stream of never ending nonsense that came out of it set Greg on edge. Whether he was making a deduction, coolly putting someone in their place or simply just making small talk, the politician always had something to say.
The police officer would be lying if he said he wasn't interested in him. He was very interested in fact, but more often than not Mycroft's never-ending babble could get on his nerves.
Like right now, he thought as he pretended to listen as Mycroft argued with Sherlock over some entirely meaningless thing. Again. Over in the far corner of his office he saw John roll his eyes at him in their shared annoyance.
It wasn't that he found what was being said by the man in front of him irritating, it was the fact that every time he spoke his lips moved, calling Lestrade's attention to them. They were very nice looking and Greg often found himself staring like an idiot, imagining what else that mouth could be used for.
Really, Lestrade thought in despair, there had to be some way to shut the older Holmes up. Then he felt the edges of his own lips curve upwards as he had a rather intriguing idea.
So the next time he saw Mycroft when he broke into the detective inspector's flat for one of their regular talks about Sherlock, Lestrade put his plan into action.
He waited until Mycroft was mid sentence, then grabbed him by the tie, pulled him in close and kissed him hard enough to bruise. The resulting gasp from the younger man felt like a reward and he went pliant opening his mouth and allowing him to take what he wanted. Letting him taste and savour.
Greg shifted angles, took even more and still met no resistance. Sliding his tongue between the lips that had once frustrated him, he explored, devoured, memorised. Moving his hands up from the politicians tie and threading them through his hair.
Mycroft let out a small sound which bought Greg to his senses slightly and he moved back releasing the other man and retreated a few inches until he could see the startled blue eyes that were slightly darker than usual, parted lips that looked deliciously swollen and mussed hair. He'd never looked so attractive and Lestrade wanted nothing more than to continue but first he waited until they'd both caught their breath.
"I've forgotten what I was saying" was the first thing that came out of the newly claimed mouth.
Lestrade laughed "Well thank god for that."
He then proceeded to make Mycroft shut up for a long time.