I don't own supernatural. The same goes for the rest of the story.

Usual warnings; some swearing, major cuddling, maybe a little OOCness.

This story starts out a little darker then the rest of mine. I can promise it gets better if you stick with it.

Chapter 1 Sam's Secrets

Sam was having a hard time at school. Not that he would tell anyone. Not that he had anyone to tell in the first place. That was one of his many problems. The bullies at school had noticed he was a small seemingly easy target who no one cared about.

At first he had fought against them, but there were too many. The whole of the football teem had it out for him, not to mention the girls and even a few of the geeky kids who didn't like that he was smarter then them.

It had started out as just teasing. Sam could take teasing; no problem. The kids had guessed no one cared about him. They thought he was trying to please an unappeasable family with his devotion to school. Little did they know he caught hell about that same devotion at home from his father. Even his big brother seemed to be getting tired of him coming home bouncingly happy because he got a good grade.

It had progressed from there. The football team would corner him in secluded parts of the school, or on when he was walking home. Sam would've easily been able to fight off up to three of the much larger boys, but there were many more then three boys on the team. He had eventually stopped even trying to get away from them.

Then there were the girls. They liked to corner him too. In janitor's closets, hallway corners, with the football team on the way home; where ever they could.

What they did was even worse then the football team beating him up. They always always had a couple of the biggest jocks with them when they found him. The jocks would hold his arms behind his back while the girls attacked him mouth with kisses. Sometimes they slipped their hands down his pants and all he could do was pray that they would leave him alone soon. It never happened though. Apparently he was very "cute" to the girls. Since he wouldn't date any of them they decided to just take what they wanted.

The geeky kids who didn't like him would pick up his backpack when the jocks were beating him up. They would take his homework, making it look like he had never done the assigned work. After a few weeks of that Sam had started making two copies of all his work. One copy went in his bag, and the other was hidden in one of the many hidden pockets in his jackets or backpack. He even cut the soles of his shoes to make a new hiding place. After awhile this maneuver wasn't needed anymore because he handed in his homework at a different time from everyone else.

Normally he would have been sure of Dean's support, Dean's worry, when he learned his book worm baby brother wasn't doing his homework, but right now he didn't really know where he stood with Dean.

He couldn't remember anything he had done to make his big brother angry at him, but it was obvious that Dean wasn't pleased. They hardly talked anymore. Dean had insisted they get a big enough house that both boys would have their own rooms for the first time ever.

For most teens this would've been a great relief. Not a lot of fifteen year olds would like to admit that they were scared to sleep without being able to hear their big brother breathing. So Sam stayed quite.

That was the first time Sam had stayed quiet. Now it was a habit.

The first time he had come home without boxers because they were doing a swimming unit and PE and someone had taken them there was no Dean to notice. So Sam had stayed quiet.

The first time he came home with bruises all over his chest (and a couple rather crooked looking ribs) there was no Dean to notice. So Sam stayed quiet.

The first time Sam came home with bruised lips and finger nail marks on his temples there was no Dean to notice. So Sam stayed quiet.

He had started experiencing problems sleeping without Dean there. Whenever he couldn't sleep before he would climb in with Dean. The one time he had tried doing that he had gotten all the way to Dean's door before he heard the noises coming from inside. His brother might think he was completely naive, but Sam knew the noises people made when they were in the middle passion. On the upside, he now knew why Dean wanted his own room.

So Sam had looked up reasons for having trouble sleeping on the computer at the school library. He had discovered he had insomnia. He didn't try to fix this problem, though. In fact, he was starting to think of it as a blessing, no matter how tired he got.

Having to do all his homework twice was taking time that he didn't have to give up.

He was expected to get up at five thirty in the morning to complete his father's work out program.

After that was a shower, breakfast (which he skipped), and a run to school. He wouldn't make it if he didn't run.

During the school day he dealt with all the many problems he was having there. This had recently been expanded to include a gym teacher who pushed him extra hard because he thought Sam was slacking off. It was like having his father as a gym coach. He was convinced that the teacher had to have been a marine at one point in his life.

The other kids took turns stealing his lunch money, so he was getting dangerously thin. He wasn't hungry, though, no matter how long he went without food.

During the first few weeks he had detention for not doing his homework (he told Dean he had joined a club at school) but now he turned it in at a different time then the other kids so it was no longer a problem.

Most of the time the teachers seemed to see he was going through a hard time and went easy on him. He knew most of them wanted to say something to his family, but were afraid of making things worse for him. That fear probably originated from his terrified expression whenever anyone mentioned talking to his father. He didn't even want to think about what the man would do if he found out how weak Sam was.

Once he was done getting beat up on his way home, he had to run to be there by the specified time. He got home at around five, and his brother and father expected him to have dinner done and the dishes from cooking washed by five thirty.

After dinner he was expected to spend the time until eight thirty doing something that included hunting. This could be cleaning guns, researching, or more physical training.

After that he did the rest of the household chores. Not because he wanted to, or because anyone had ordered him to, but because someone had to. Dean and his father obviously didn't give a crap, so that job always fell on Sam.

He was supposed to have all his homework done before twelve at the latest, but that wasn't going to happen when he had to do it all twice.

Then he had to get up the next day and do it all over again.

Sam's life had always been hard, but now it was impossible. He didn't think his father or brother realized exactly how much the expected him to do.

They hunted on weekends or nights. On days when they hunted at night Sam was given the time from six (when dinner was done) to around nine (when it got dark) to do his homework. He almost always had to squeeze in more work after the hunt.

He also made sure his big brother and father never noticed any of the injuries he got at school or hunting. He didn't want to have to explain to his father how he had allowed a couple bullies to break a couple of his ribs, his left thumb, a couple toes, and a small bone in his right ankle that made running agony. So that meant his family couldn't see him without a shirt. This also meant that he had to patch up any injuries he got from a hunt by himself.

As far as Dean and their father knew, he was having an uncharacteristic lucky streak where getting hurt was concerned.

As far as Sam knew, he had a minor concussion (yes, he did know that was a very dangerous thing to conceal from his family), around five broken ribs, slashes across his chest (they stung like hell and bled a lot, even if they weren't all that deep), a broken left thumb (handling a gun and cooking got harder every day), three broken toes on his left foot, a broken ankle, and he was starting to get sick. Needless to say, he was in agony constantly. He also had cuts all over himself because he kept dropping knives when he was cleaning them or practicing. He wasn't normally that clumsy, but his exhaustion combined with the pain was making him do more stupid thing then he had ever done before. That didn't even include the bruises, which he knew covered about ninety percent of his body. There was also an odd, deep, and painful ache in his sternum.

But not everything about this town was horrible. He liked his teachers, often staying as late after school as he dared to complete work with them watching on. They would help him, never seeming to mind that they had to stay late to do so.

And then there was his secret. Sometime around a week after the arrived in the town he thought maybe a walk would help him clear his head and go to sleep. He had ended up at the bar nearest his house. He hadn't meant to go in, but it was karaoke night, and he loved to sing.

Someone had been singing when he passed by, and whoever they were, they were horrible. He learned that it was the bar's regular singer. Apparently this particular bar only did live music. The locals wouldn't stand for anything else, but they didn't have any decent singers either.

The town was a small town, and they didn't seem to think much of following the laws as long as no one got hurt. So Sam had accidentally found his way in, and before he knew what was happening he was up on the stage. The fact that he was underage didn't seem to matter to anyone. Anytime a cop came in they were either entranced by Sam's voice, or he was hidden amongst the locals before anyone could blink. Eventually all the cops just got used to him being there.

It wasn't like he was the only underage person they let in either. The bar let in anyone over the age of eighteen, so Sam was still the youngest. The only stipulation they had was that you didn't drink any alcohol unless you were overage.

Getting drunk was considered a disgrace and would end with you being band from the bar for a year, so the most anyone ever got was tipsy. There were no other bars within a half an hour of the town, and no one wanted to be kicked out.

From there everything had snowballed. The town's people discovered he was a ventriloquist, and he found himself singing every night from about ten thirty to twelve. Yes, it took time away form when he could be doing homework, but at is also helped him release his emotions in a non harmful way.

Before this town he had just gone to Dean and talked it all out. Now Dean didn't seem to give a shit about him, so he had to find another way. His butterfly knife had actually started looking pretty tempting for awhile, until someone suggested he write a song.

Next thing he knew he had a full band at his command and some of his songs were on regular request at the bar. This was his escape. The one thing that kept him sane in the madness he called his life.

After he sang Sam would sit at one of the tables and do his homework. He had free sodas from the bar tender for making his business so much more successful, and several of the locals would help as much as they could with his work. At first a couple even offered to copy his answers over again for him sometimes so he didn't have to do things twice. It made everything so much easier.

All his teachers were nightly patrons of the bar, so they were always a huge help.

The few times he had fallen asleep at the bar he had been carried to a bed in the back. He made fast friends with several of the people who had just graduated school, almost making them a replacement for Dean. The whole town seemed to adore him. Almost all of the patrons of the bar seemed to view him as their little boy. They all thought of him as a son, beloved nephew, or little brother.

Since the entire town went to the bar, there was no one Sam didn't know by name. There was no one in the town who didn't consider him some kind of relation.

The bar tender Carl had taken a special interest in him, and treated him especially like a son. Sometimes Carl went so far as to call him son. Sam couldn't even remember the last time his own father had addressed him that way. It made him feel special and loved.

None of the towns people knew what their children did to Sam at school. If they had Sam did want to think about what would happen to their young offspring. He never wanted to get any one in trouble, no matter how much he didn't like them. That would draw unwanted attention to him.

They treated Sam like their youngest; a little boy who needed to be spoiled and cuddled.

Half the time he would end up doing his homework on someone's lap. When he was done with the work his teachers would take it immediately. The geeks at school thought he had just given up doing his homework.

And the best part was that they liked him for him. They didn't like his researching skills, or that he could do two hundred push-ups and run five miles at top speed without making himself out of breath. They didn't like him because he was brilliant and could solve their problems. They liked his personality, his songs, and his willingness to always listen to their problems.

They had been in this town for almost half a year; longer then Sam could ever remember staying anywhere in his life. His father and brother often left him and drove a couple states over to hunt something.

The town knew his family was hardly ever there, and that created a bit of resentment towards them. No one seemed to think Sam should be on his own like that. Half the time Carl would insist he stay at the bar when his family wasn't home. People weren't worried that someone would try to mug him; there were no criminals to do so. They just didn't like the thought of him alone in the dark, yet another indication of how much they thought about him as a little boy.

Sam didn't really care about Dean and his father. They didn't care about him, so why should he care about them? At least, that's what he told himself.

Little did he know his life was about to take another drastic change. He didn't know that this change was walking through the door to the bar at this very moment.

It was karaoke night again, and the man Sam had bumped out of place as the most regular singer was trying his voice again. Sam didn't mind; he liked Ralph. Several other people, however, were more then anxious for Sam's return to the stage.

For Sam it was just any other night.

For Dean, it was the night he would learn just how well his baby brother could keep secrets.

So we get to see what's up with Dean next chapter. This was kind of hard for me to write, but the next one was much easier. I'm posting both of them today if I can. I'm having a lot of computer trouble, so it's iffy.

I bit of a warning, this story includes some songs that have swearing in them. Music is my muse; it inspires me more then anything else in the world. I tend to listen to pop, rock, and heavy metal; mostly Dean music I think. I like three days grace, Lincoln park, evenessence (sp?), paramour, avril lavgine, taylor swift, rise against, manifest, eminien, things like that. My music is very diverse.

For this fic I think I'm mostly going to stick with Three Days Grace and Breaking Benjamin. Their songs seem to capture how I picture Sam as feeling during this time.