Ninja Kittens, Trigger-happy Elephants and Murder
"Your math teacher called me this afternoon, Shawn."
Shawn Spencer stopped in his tracks as he looked into the suspicious face of his father.
"She did? What for?"
"She said you got the highest grade in the class and the second highest grade in the whole school."
Shawn's eyes lit up. "Really?"
Henry Spencer nodded. "Really. You even scored higher than Gus."
"Well, that tutor you hired really paid off." Shawn chuckled. "I got some homework to do so I'm going up to my room." Shawn started to go up to his room when his father called him.
"I know you hacked the school computer and changed your grade."
"C'mon, Dad. How can you possibly..."
"Cut the crap, Shawn." Henry interrupted. "A professional hacker would never leave a messy trail of breadcrumbs. You shoulda changed your test scores too."
Shawn cursed to himself. He forgot the test scores. "What else?"
"One important thing you need to know about hackers is that they always leave a signature of their work." Henry explained. It can be a virus, symbols, etc. Yours was a dancing pineapple."
" thought it was cute." Shawn said.
"Your grounded for the whole summer." Henry punished.
Chief Karen Vick came into the viewing room where Detective Juliet O'Hara was there, observing her partner, Head Detective Carlton Lassiter interrogating a teenager.
"So what's the story with this one?" Karen asked.
"Her name is Alina Santiago; age 14," Juliet replied. "She's a repeat juvenile offender."
"Repeat offender at 14?" Karen was amused. "What was her crime?"
"Hacking. She got arrested for hacking into an ATM machine and stole $350."
"How old was she?"
Karen's gaze shifted back to the girl. She looked tough and hard on the surface. They all did. But Karen knew better; this girl was scared.
"Have you contacted Miss Santiago's parents?" Karen asked Juliet.
Juliet shook her head. "She doesn't have any."
"Does Lassiter know this?"
Juliet began to respond when her boyfriend, Shawn Spencer and his compadre, Burton Guster, interrupted her.
"Oh! Oh, sweet Lord!" Shawn exclaimed. "The spirits have been hijacked with a virus!"
"Shawn, what are you talking about?" Juliet asked.
"He means he's been hacked by a virus." Gus translated.
Shawn finished his performance and grabbed the file from Juliet.
"We should get in there, Gus." He decided. "Lassie may need our help." They started to leave when the Chief stopped them.
"Hold it right there, Mr. Spencer and Mr. Guster." Karen declared. "This isn't an official case and I didn't hire you."
"You are correct, Chief." Shawn agreed. "But Lassie called us about an hour ago to talk to this girl."
"So if you don't mind," Gus said. "We have some interrogating to do." And they left before Karen or Juliet could say anything more.
Carlton Lassiter stared at the girl across from him. A part of him couldn't believe that she's a juvenile delinquent but a big part wasn't surprised at all. Alina Santiago's mother wasn't a saint. And her stepfather...Carlton was happy that lowlife was in jail. Unfortunately, Alina had to suffer for it. Sighing, Carlton tried one more time to get through to her.
"Alina," he began. "We've been going on about this for almost two hours. Just tell me what you saw."
"I told you," Alina replied. "I didn't see anything."
"That's not what you said to Officer McNabb." Carlton argued. "Do you want 'falsifying police report' added to your list of crimes?"
"Why do you care?" Alina spat. "I'm just some juvie kid to you people."
"Not to me, you're not."
Right then, Shawn and Gus entered the room.
"Lassyface!" Shawn sang. "Gus and I are here to help."
"You're only here to observe, Spencer." Carlton instructed. "That's it."
"Is he your boyfriend?" Alina smirked.
"No, he's not." Carlton answered. "They work for the police department."
Alina looked at Shawn and Gus in disbelief.
"It's true," Shawn confirmed. He held out his hand. "I'm Shawn Spencer, Psychic Detective." He pointed to Gus. "This is my partner, Ewan-Usher Raymond McDreamy."
"But you can call me Gus." Gus added.
"Alina Santiago." Alina said, shaking Shawn's hand. "People call me Ally."
"Guster!" Carlton barked. "Stop flirting with my goddaughter!"
Shawn and Gus looked at Carlton in shock. They didn't really move until Karen and Juliet came in the room. They both wore the same expression on their faces.
"Detective Lassiter, this girl is your goddaughter?" Karen asked.
"Yes, Chief. She is." Carlton confirmed.
"Not surprised you guys are shocked," Alina said. "Carlton's not much of a godfather."
"This isn't a joke, Ally!" Carlton snapped. "You hacked into a government database and ran away from the police."
"So? You call it illegal, I call it Wednesday night. Girl's gotta make a living."
"What about Martin Weller?" Juliet asked. "We have surveillance placing you both at the City Hall."
"Yeah, Marty was there with me." Alina confirmed. "He was helping me with a job but we split once you guys showed up."
"And that's the last time you saw him?" Karen asked.
"If I knew where he was, I'd tell you!" Alina snapped. "What the hell is this about anyway?"
"You watch that language, young lady." Carlton admonished.
"Why are you asking me about Marty?"
"He was found dead in the City Hall Dumpster a few hours ago. Shot three times with a 22. Caliber."
And just like that, the look on Alina's face changed from irritation to pure dread. That's when Shawn Spencer knew, there was more to this murder than meets the eye.
"Marty's dead?" Alina muttered. "Wait, you don't think I killed him, do you?"
"We didn't say that..." Carlton assured.
"But you are our prime suspect." Karen told her, giving Carlton a look. "So I wouldn't run off just yet."
Alina scoffed. "Where would I go?"
Suddenly, Shawn remembered something:
At the Psych Office...
"Lassie says this girl's a really good hacker." Gus told Shawn. "Calls herself Mariposa Samurai."
"Aww, look at the Ninja Kitten." Shawn cooed. "It's so cute and awesome at the same time."
"Doesn't make sense to her name," Gus said. Mariposa means 'butterfly' in Spanish."
At The Morgue...
"'WMG'?" Shawn looked at the three letters in question. "You have any idea what these letters mean, Woody?"
Woody looked at Shawn and Gus and shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine," He said. "It could mean 'Werewolves Mingle Gnomes, Warlords Massacred Gryffindor..."
"Wow, really?" Gus said. "It could be the killer's signature."
"There is something else, gentlemen." Woody pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. "This was found in the victim's mouth..."
"OH MY GOD! I'M GETTING SOMETHING!" Shawn declared. "Marty Weller's awesome hacker spirit has hacked into my body!"
Shawn started flinging, dancing and bouncing around the room; Gus was trying to slow him down. Alina just looked at them like they were crazy.
"What's wrong with them?" She asked Carlton.
"Unfortunately, nothing out of the ordinary." Carlton replied.
Suddenly, Shawn stopped and looked at Alina dead in her eyes. "Marty knows you didn't kill him." He said.
"Wow," Alina said in a sarcastic tone. "Can Marty tell me something I don't know?"
"He knows you're a kick-ass ninja kitten with a love for butterflies."
Alina's eyes grew wide. "How did you know that?"
"What are you talking about, Spencer?" Carlton asked impatiently.
"Precisely, what I would like to know." Karen agreed.
"Alina Santiago did not kill Martin Weller." Shawn began. "Another hacker did."
"Another hacker?" Juliet repeated. "How can you be so sure, Shawn?"
"Because every hacker leaves their own signature in their work."
"Shawn's right." Gus agreed. "Alina's signature is a kitten dressed as a ninja which makes no sense by the way."
"Your face doesn't make sense." Alina retorted.
Gus frowned at her while Shawn laughed. He stopped when he noticed Gus' look.
"What? It was funny." He muttered.
"Shawn!" Gus nudged.
"Oh! I'm getting something else." Shawn envisioned. "Three letters and an agent or an agency, I'm not sure..."
"What are the letters, Shawn?" Juliet urged.
"Wrestle...Mania...Gyrate," Shawn babbled. "Walruses...Market...Greece..."
"WMG!" Gus shouted.
"Yes!" Shawn cheered. "And Agent007?"
"Daniel Craig?" Juliet tried.
"What does the guy from Moulin Rouge have to do with this, Jules?"
"That was Ewan McGregor, Shawn." Gus corrected.
Everyone turned and stared at Alina.
"Yes, Agent66 is the hacker." Shawn confirmed.
"Do you know her real name, Ally?" Carlton asked.
"No, no one does." Alina replied. "Agent66 is just her alias. One of them, anyway."
"How many does she have?" Karen asked.
"About 10. 'WMG' is her most common one. It stands for Web-Mistress G."
Shawn remembered something else. The note found inside Martin Weller's throat. It was an elephant with some type of weapon...
"This Web Mistress' hacker sign wouldn't have anything to do with an elephant, would it?" Shawn asked.
"Yeah," Alina replied. "A happy blue elephant carrying a machete."
"That's disturbing." Gus remarked.
"Not really," Alina said. "Sometimes she has the Happy Blue Elephant shoot an AK-47."
Shawn saw that image in his head then dismissed it. "Lassie, your goddaughter may be in serious danger."
"What are you talking about, Spencer?" Carlton asked gravely.
"Martin Weller wasn't WMG's target," Shawn explained. "He was just someone in her way. She was going to kill Alina."
Karen saw the look on Carlton's face. She has never seen him worry about a juvenile delinquent or any convicted criminal before. She thought this was an open-shut juvenile case. But now it's something more: a murder and an attempted murder. She has her work cut out for her.