A/N: While this isn't "mature", it does touch on heavily romantic themes (as can be ascertained by the title) but I just wanted to put a little warning beforehand. In case people are disturbed by two male genetically enhanced lab mice flirting.

This was a whim. And also the origin of the feather boa~

I've seen these 5x1 fics before in other fandoms and it got me pondering: "what would Brain and Pinky do?


Pinky is very kinky, it wouldn't surprise me at all if he attempted to seduce Brain xD yes!"

The End! Hope you enjoy it!

Five Times Pinky Tried to Seduce Brain (And the one time Brain did! Poit!)

The first time had gone unnoticed.

They once again posed as a married couple in order to infiltrate an esteemed club of social high rollers. The Brain believed it to be part of the act; the hand holding, the excessive compliments, the toying with his ear…

At the end of the night, they were kicked out when Brain insulted Ryan Seacrest. While admitting defeat (again), he still commended Pinky on a job well-done. He'd been a very convincing, and exceedingly doting, wife.

The second time, Brain thought he was coming down with something.

He was simply trying to decide between two potential plans to act upon for the night. One involved two gallons of glue and various sheets of colored construction paper while the other required a fish tank and dental floss. As he debated the pros and cons of the two, he attempted to ignore the shenanigans of his companion. Instead of running about on his wheel or watching television, the blue-eyed mouse was prancing about awfully close to where Brain was working.

Finally put off by the annoyance, he lifted his head to reprimand him. What he saw gave him pause. Pinky was definitely prancing around, but he was doing so with a feather boa (where he found that, goodness knows). His hips swayed along to a tune he was humming, a song he no doubt made up on the spot, and his eyelids fluttered as a peaceful smile flashed across his face. The quick flicks of his tail and motion of his lower body had Brain transfixed for a minute or two, until he became aware of the tightening sensation in his abdomen.

He attributed it to queasiness due to stress and shook it off, barking at Pinky to cease his foolishness and leave him be.

The third time, Brain had to step outside for some air.

He patted his cheeks, inexplicably flushed and warm to the touch, as his heart battered against his rib cage. This reaction… it was inexcusable! The Brain tugged at his jowls, hoping the pain would relieve them of their tell-tale blush.

It had been innocent enough. The scientists had bestowed Pinky with some new snacks, pleased that he had added "Poit" along to his exclamations of "Narf". His intelligence overwhelmed them, and gave them cause to reward him. Apparently they had been delicious, for Pinky moaned with delight as he gulped down each treat.

The sound sent shivers down Brain's spine, his tail twitched to attention as did his ears. He attempted to glare at Pinky, berate him for eating so noisily, when his eyes were drawn to Pinky's fingers. One by one, he popped them into his mouth to lick them clean, his tail wagging furiously behind him. His eyes closed in bliss, kicking his legs back and forth while he sat atop the sardine tin Brain used to hold his blueprints and notes.

He could hear his heart drumming in his ears. The logical, usually more dominant, part of his namesake ordered him to look away, yell, do something other than gape like a ninny! But he couldn't even breathe, the air caught in his chest. Pinky fluttered his eyelashes at him and the breath escaped.

"Oh, Brain! These are so yummy! Narf!" He picked up another treat and hopped up off the tin. "Here! Try one!"

Still trying to regain control of his motor skills, Brain barely had time to blink let alone shake his extra-large cranium in the negative before Pinky cupped his chin. He didn't think his heart could beat any faster. Surely his cagemate could hear it, especially at such close proximity, but Pinky gave no indication that he noticed anything amiss with his friend. Instead, he placed the treat at Brain's lips and gently coaxed him into eating it.

At least he had the foresight to pull back before those fingers took the place of the food.

Finally, scowl firmly in place, Brain met Pinky's gaze with every intention of scolding him for invading his personal space (and inspiring such strange reactions) but the taller mouse beat him to the punch. "Did you like it?"

Under Pinky's scrutiny along with the mental image that sent him into a coughing fit, Brain made a hasty retreat under the guise that it was too stuffy in the cage and why couldn't those wretched humans open a window every now and then?

His stomach churned with the guilt of even entertaining the idea of Pinky in such a manner. And why would he? Pinky was not only male, but a simpleton! While that hadn't stopped him from pursuing Billie, he felt better acknowledging her femininity outweighed her stupidity. But Pinky? They'd been together for so long, how could such a feeling of attraction arise after years of knowing one another? It had to be a mistake.

But he had studied biology, he was aware that there was no mistaking the heat that filled him as he observed his oblivious friend, the bubble of giddiness that floated around in his head. It was attraction; plain and simple.

Brain buried his face in his paws as he dreaded the notion that he'd tainted his best friend's innocence with his thoughts of lust.

The fourth time, The Brain didn't know if he should be relieved or furious.

All the guilt that ate away at him as he fantasized about his sweet, stupid cagemate was for naught.

Pinky was actively trying to seduce him.

At first the idea seemed repugnant, and ultimately ridiculous. Pinky didn't know the first thing about sexuality let alone seduction… he fell in love with the most imbecilic of things; a horse, a sea lion, a sock puppet…

Fanciful dreams of impossible love were characteristic of Pinky, though Brain hypothesized that he had no idea what couples did when romantically involved. Apparently this wasn't the case. Pinky was more aware than Brain suspected.

He figured it out while Pinky hovered close as he explained his latest scheme for world domination. It was not unusual for the lanky mouse to lean into him as he listened (or more accurately, didn't listen) and breach Brain's personal bubble, but this time he expanded on that.

Pinky idly traced his finger along the outside of Brain's ear. It twitched reflexively and Brain stiffened. He batted Pinky's paw away, ignoring it otherwise, while continuing his speech. Not two seconds later, he did it again. A quick snap to "keep your hands to yourself!" and a bop to the head deterred Pinky momentarily, but he took it upon himself to begin playing with Brain's tail instead.

Warmth pooled in his belly as his cheeks flamed with all the blood rushing to his head. Pinky's touch was so light, like a feather, and soothing. Mortified, he spun around, well-aware that he still appeared dizzy and flustered but he disregarded it for the time being because this needed to stop. However, the acidic words died on his tongue as he took a mental picture of the expression painted upon Pinky's features.

His blue eyes sparkled and his nose scrunched ever so slightly, the little creases telling—he had a secret—and his smile… that smile was the worst. It was amused. Pinky was amused by the flush of red against white fur that streaked his cheeks, by the way he squirmed under his touch, and by the way his heart couldn't stop racing. He knew. His eyelids lowered, but the sparkle of his eyes didn't diminish. In fact, it only grew in intensity.

Brain bopped Pinky on the head once more and stormed away, drowning out the narf-giggles with his own internal ranting.

The fifth time, Brain ignored him.

Pinky had been trying to get his attention all day, but Brain wouldn't budge. Even if it meant putting up with that infernal "just say narf" song, he did not allow himself to spare Pinky a single glance.

He was still angry. Why would his best friend do this to him? Did he get some sort of sick, twisted pleasure out of seeing Brain slowly succumb to his advances? He shook his vehemently. No, no, Pinky wasn't like that. If he was aware of how much he was upsetting The Brain, he'd cease immediately and break out into a bawling wreck of apologies and promises. He already clued in somewhat (while he sang and danced, it was not with his usual gusto, and his tail had begun to wilt) and while Brain was furious, he didn't wish to make Pinky cry. How he did detest the sight of that.

But if Pinky had no ill-intentions behind his seduction attempts, then why was he doing it? Brain pondered this for quite some time, especially once Pinky quieted down and he could hear his thoughts again. His feeble-minded friend couldn't possibly be in love with him, it was absurd. Even though they were not of his species, Pinky had been attracted to girls. He fought back the niggling remark that he himself had only been interested in females up until this newfound infatuation with his associate, so it wasn't completely out of the box that Pinky changed preferences as well.

The one time amidst his ponderings that Brain dared to look at Pinky, he wished with every fiber of his being that he hadn't. Pinky's smoldering stare was trained on him from across the cage, he arms crossed and propped up on his wheel as he cushioned his chin on them and knelt on the ground. Desire and despair both conflicted in his eyes, but even more strongly shone confusion.

He didn't understand why Brain wasn't speaking to him.

Pinky perked up when their eyes met, but it was so brief, Brain had no idea what his expression shifted to following that. His heart ached as he recalled the expression on the mouse's face. Whatever his reasoning behind these flirtatious advances, they were sincere.

The Brain turned his back to Pinky; he didn't think he could allow the other mouse to wield such control over him. Clearly, something had to be done.

Pinky sat in front of the TV, trying to enjoy an episode of "Wheel of Misfortune" but ultimately dwelling on the sad-rainy-sad feelings blossoming in his chest. The Brain still wasn't talking to him and he didn't know why. He thought he was doing everything right! All the TV shows and movies said the same things, but instead of making Brain happy and smiley and gushy, it just made him angry. Not the good "bop-on-the-head" angry either.

The TV screen went black in the middle of Harriet buying a vowel and Pinky tilted his head in confusion. He looked around wildly for the remote, he wanted to know what the puzzle was, then spotted it a ways behind him. Brain's foot perched upon the power button, his hands on his hips as he stared at him coolly.

Pinky beamed at him, his ears at attention and his tail swishing from side to side. Perhaps he'd be forgiven? As long as they could go back to taking over the world again, and spending time together, Pinky would do anything.

"Brain-" he started, but was cut off when the large headed mouse simply held up a hand to silence him.

"Pinky." He recognized this tone, it was his warning tone, he used it a lot before things started blowing up. But things weren't going wrong just yet.

"Yes, Brain?" Pinky asked quietly, watching his friend step off the remote and stride towards him languidly.

With each step Brain took, Pinky felt his chest get a little tighter. Those pink eyes, while narrowed, did not seem angry or displeased. He wasn't sure what filled them, but Pinky couldn't look away. Brain stopped right in front of him, he had to crane his neck slightly for he was still sitting down. His neck and back ached from being twisted around, yet he couldn't bring himself to break the hold Brain's gaze had on him. His tummy fluttered and his heart flittered.

"Pinky." It was like a gentle hum, only a little of Brain's usual bite lacing his tone.

"Naaaarf…" Was all Pinky could breath in return, which summed up his feelings pretty accurately, in his opinion anyway.

"Narf indeed." Brain returned, tracing his finger along Pinky's jaw.

Blue eyes shuttered to a close. "Brain… what…?"

"Pinky, you honestly didn't think that as future ruler of the all the world I'd allow you to manipulate my emotions to your own bidding, now did you?" Brain inquired, his voice making Pinky's heart do all sorts of silly flippy floppy things. He'd never heard such a pretty sound; not even Angela Lansbury could compare.

Pinky shook his head slowly, following the brush of Brain's paw across his cheek and over his ears. "I… poit… no, I…" He took a deep swallow of air, as the words actually penetrated his attention. "I don't understand, Brain." Confusion ripped through him, followed by heart break. Brain didn't like him then? What was going on? "Brain? You don't… you don't want to be together forever then? Poit."

"Nonsense, Pinky." Brain was quick to correct, observing as Pinky's spirits lifted slightly. "While I can't have you seduce me, there's nothing stopping me from returning the favor."

Pinky's insides felt as if they were being tickled, and from the look on Brain's face, he could assume he felt the same. He ducked his head, batting his eyes up at his cagemate. "Oh, Brain…!" He gushed, his cheerfulness bubbling up and threatening to overflow.

Brain lost his composure for a brief moment, long enough to let a blush color his cheeks, before he regained control. "Stop it, Pinky. While I pride myself on my restraint, I honestly cannot take much more of your… enticing mannerisms."

Pinky turned all the way around and lifted his head, rubbing his nose against Brain's before whispering conspiratorially, "I love you, Brain."

There was no need to whisper, no one else was present, but the childish intensity of it warmed Brain's heart. "I know." He whispered back, touching his forehead to Pinky's. "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

"I think so, Brain, but why do they call it 'the birds and the bees'?"

Pinky didn't get an answer, but he didn't particularly need one as Brain proceeded to kiss him senseless.

His technique had worked after all. Troz.