Author's Note: So, originally, I had this on a completely different account, but I've decided to delete that account, because, ya know, what's the point in having two accounts? I'll try to post a chapter every week, but I'm so impatient that it'll probably be every couple of days or so. So, without further ado, the first chapter.

"You don't have to go." she repeated for the umpteenth time. I wanted to reach my hands over there and strangle her.

Shit. And listen to you and that fucking warlock professor go at it? "Whatever."

"Really, Bells. I'll miss you. Please don't go."

"You're a bad liar."

She pursed her lips and handed me my carry on. "Have fun. Tell Charlie I said hi."

"Like he would give a shit you said hi." I scoffed.

I left with that as my goodbye. That women back there? She's my mother. She just got remarried to a professor at my magic school. Talk about awkward. He stumbles out of my mom's bedroom after violating her and tells me I failed a test. What? Is he grading papers on her back? Wouldn't surprise me.

Professor Mack is a hard ass. I would know. He insists that I call him Professor Mack. He yells at me when I'm not studying for his dumbass test. Like I'll fail in life if I don't know who the hell created the first school for gifted students. No, not Professor Xavier, you dumb shit.

And to top it all off, Mack is a hypocritical little dick. Like that one health teacher I had. Ms. Mackenzie. She would always preach about not having sex before your married and one day she walked in with her usually tiny ass waist carrying a stomach the size of a basketball.

See why I want to get the hell out? My father, Charlie (as I like to call him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Disrespectful and all that, but I barely know the guy! It's not like my mom ever let me see him.) said I could live with him. He was ecstatic when I said yes. Probably lonely. Lord knows he's not gettin' any.

"Is that your carry on?" the stewardess asked me with a sneer. "It's not going to fit up there, you know. We should probably put it with the rest of the luggage."

I glared. "Why don't you leave me the hell alone before I take my broom and shove it up your ass?"
She huffed and left in a spoiled little hissy fit.

Why a broom? Why the hell are you so fucking nosy? Ahem, sorry. Anyway, I'm a witch. Shut up. I didn't ask for your opinion, so don't even start. Yes, a witch. And yes, I fly on a broom. No, not every witch does it, I just like flying on a fucking broom, all right? I could have chosen to fly on a vacuum cleaner or a pig for crying out loud. You probably wonder what I mean. Well, when every witch or wizard turns the legal driving age (sixteen) you get to choose your transportation. Most chose flying cars, but I chose a broom. I could change it, if I wanted, but I don't feel like it. It's too much paper work.

When I finally reached Port Angeles, I found Charlie waiting for me beside his police car. Charlie's completely and utterly mortal. He doesn't know I'm a witch, and between you and me, I'd rather not tell him.

We greeted each other awkwardly. I haven't seen him since I was four. The ride home was quiet. He occasionally tried to strike up a conversation about the weather, but I couldn't concentrate. Charlie was an average guy, lets be honest. He was tall, wiry. He was completely awkward and I don't know about you, but I wouldn't take him seriously if he had a gun to my head. His clothes were baggy and he had the cheapest hair cut on the menu. He was police chief of the small town of Spoons. No, shit, Forks. Anyway, all clichés aside...he has a mustache. A very awesome fucking mustache. I can barely even remember what the hell is going right outside the passenger window when I see his mustache. It's that glorious.

We managed to make it home and I stood in my room, Charlie behind me. It was exactly the same as when I was four, except now I had a twin sized bed. Oh joy.

"Do you like," he asked. He set my luggage on the floor. "The pink paint was chipping so I, uh, repainted it. Blue okay?"

I turned around to reply when I got caught by that fucking mustache again. "Huh?"

"Blue. Is that an okay color?"

He should grow a handlebar mustache...I shook my head to snap out of it and coughed. "Yeah, it's fine. Whatever."

He seemed relieved. He hugged me quickly and left to go watch some fucking retarded ass baseball game. I hate sports.

I stopped by the mirror and looked at myself. I was a head shorter that my dad. I was the spitting image of him, though, really. I had his hair, straight brown. I had his eyes. Brown. I had his skin tone. Pale. I wasn't necessarily skinny. I knew how to appreciate food and I hated working out. My figure was more curvy than anything. I'm not fat, if that's what you're getting at, but most bitches make a face when I pick up a brownie instead of a water.
I couldn't sleep that night. It was too fucking cold in the house and the constant sound of rain was fucking annoying. During the middle of the night I attempted to stop the rain and warm the house but I can't mess with weather when it comes to spells. I'm not that powerful.

"'Morning, Bells." Charlie greeted me when I stumbled down the stairs from lack of sleep. "You look horrible."

"You look like shit, too." I snapped.

Charlie tried to scold me but it's a useless attempt. I never learn. He left a little while after giving me one final lecture about swearing and respecting old people. Once I grabbed my broom, I was on my way. What? You thought I would drive that piece of shit Charlie bought me? I appreciate the offer, but Charlie's cheap. We all know he's got money in the bank but he refuses to spend it on an actual nice living environment.

At school, two people called me fat, the same two people mysteriously ended up in the Intensive Care Unit, some fake bitch named Jessica tried to be my friend, a horny bastard tried to talk to me, and some cold hearted bitch named Lauren had the audacity to almost slap me. Oh, correction, three people in the ICU.

I needed some place to sit in lunch, so I accepted Jessica's lunch offer. That's when I saw them. Five freaky ass, pale-skinned, yellow eyed, great haired things.
"Who the fuc—"

"The Cullens." Jessica interrupted with a dreamy sigh. If I weren't so suspicious of the yellow eyed freaks, I would have slapped her.

"They're so gorgeous." a girl hummed. "I would fuck any of them."

"They have yellow eyes." I stated.

"Aren't they beautiful?"

"Yellow. Fucking. Eyes."

"It's probably contacts or something." Jessica said.

"I repeat. Yellow eyes. They all have eye problems and all decided to get yellow contacts?"

"OMG, Bella, you're so smart! That makes so much sense!" some bitch addicted to texting squealed.

If I don't die from those yellow eyed owls over there, I will definitely die from my IQ being lowered to the point where I snap my neck trying to perform oral sex on myself. Spoons. Stupidest fucking town ever. "So, like, anyway, the Cullens are, um, like, all adopted, right?" Kill me now. "Err, that guy, with the muscles is Emmett. He dates the blonde girl, Rosalie. The blonde girl is the blond guy's twin. His name is Jasper. He dates the short, midget looking girl named Alice. And the last one? The one that's like, mm, a Greek god, like, red hair, big package—Gah!"
I raised an eyebrow. "Did you just cum?"

Jessica blushed. "No!" she shifted her legs awkwardly.

I rolled my eyes and stood up with my empty lunch tray. I put it away and walked to my next class, Biology.